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Please enjoy my contribution to the fandom

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The Foxes as Kermit the Frog

Neil:

Andrew:

Kevin:

Aaron:

Nicky:

Renee:

Allison:

Matt:

Dan:

Wymack:

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me, learning latin: okay so nihil means nothing and it’s pronounced like niil

my friend, who listens to my aftg rants: it’s pronounced neil?

me: wait-

my friend: nihil means nothing and it’s pronounced like neil and neil is nothing and andrew wants nothing-

me: WAIT-

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Neil Josten was a Fox, practicing Exy like breathing and going to class when he could find time, when he wasn’t going crazy over how good looking his boyfriends were.

However, when the sun goes down, blood runs like water and it’s all Neil Josten’s fault.

Part 2 of the THE RAVEN SIX series

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Yay

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A Review of the Appreciated - Fic Rec from The Foxhole Court

 I decided to start keeping track of the fics I read and enjoyed, along with some comments of my own. This is only my own personal opinion, but overall I do recommend all those fics. All of them will be Complete, unless I mention otherwise.

Here I start with The Foxhole Court ✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)

The First Breath by nekojita (andreil, 180k)

An AU where Death, aka Neil, is convinced to spend some time playing at being human. Working at the Laughing Fox coffee shop has him meeting ordinary people, as well as less ordinary people.

I really loved this fic so much. Neil failing at being human was hilarious, his friendship with Matt was precious, and the Coffee Thief Andrew was great! Easily one of my favorite. It’s apparently based on the Sandman by Neil Gaiman, but no knowledge of that story is required. I never read it and the fic made perfect sense to me. Not all of the characters are gods, magic or such, but imo they still all have Something Special about them.

Read it for: an endearing Neil trying to understand the appeal of human things such as drinking, eating, watching movies or shopping; an oblivious Neil; Andrew’s intense attraction to Death; express traveling to another country just to have dinner.

Fear No Fall  by Saul (andreil, 81k)

The pirate crew of The Fox find an unexpected treasure in the form of a captured merman named Neil. It might bring them more troubles than riches.

Set as my go-to feelgood read, I’ve read it multiple times and it never disappoints. The universe is rich and well detailed, especially under the sea. The parts in Neil’s pov are entertaining and transcribe the feeling of being from another species pretty well. A good point of this story is that there is absolutely no likeness to The Little Mermaid, which would have been ooc. Instead, it suits the rebel side of the characters.

Read it for: an etherealy beautiful mermaid, a bunch of kids adopt a pet but they have no idea how to care for it, Neil talking to whales and cleaning barnacles-ridden boats, an entertaining travel throuhg the seas.

dangerous magics by SashaSea (SHCombatalade) (andreil, 52k)

The Urban Fantasy AU where Kevin is finally #1, they still fight Riko, Neil rents flat but doesn’t read the line where it specifies a Hellhound comes with it. The dog is Andrew.

Hard to define without spoiling the entire story, this is a fresh breath of air in the world of AU. An overall original setting that gives us fae and magic. I takes some time to really start, so the beginning might be confusing, but I strongly encourage giving it a try, if only for snarky Hellhound Andrew.

Read it for: a new approach of the Urban Fantasy theme, Kevin is still a Drama Queen, a reassuring lack of zoophilia, Neil cooking pasta.

 eyes wide open by jaylocked (jerejean, 13k)

“hi sorry I live below you and I hear your dog running around and barking all the time and– no no it’s fine I was just wondering if I could pet it?” Jeremy first falls in love with the dog, then with its owner.

An incredibly sweet reading. I don’t know what was cuter: the dog, or the men. Also features a cool appearance from Laila and Alvarez as Jeremy’s not quite helpful friends.

Read it for: a dog with a very cliché french name, drunk texting in broken french, unhelpful dating advice, Jean as a painter.

  men, abort mission (that is the silver lining in my cloudy disposition) by quensty (andreil, 2.125 words)

The recorded number of times someone hit on Neil Josten and got nowhere, and the one time Andrew didn’t even have to try. 

It’s a classic I guess, but it’s well written and hilarious. This oblivious Neil is delightfully funny.

Read it for: a Savage Moment, helpless fools attracted to each other, the team as witnesses.

  your crown of thorns holds roses by quensty (andreil, 4.444 words)

Three days after he signs his death sentence to Palmetto State, five after Andrew Minyard sends him flying breathless to the ground, Neil’s gaze snaps to the locker room mirror and stares, frozen, at the word threat scrawled along his spinal cord in terrifying, heavy bold.

This is the AU where your soulmate’s opinion of you gets tatooed on your skin. Effective writting coupled with punch-like settings makes this a one of a kind read. So believable you almost forget it’s an AU.

Read it for: soulmates refusing to be soulmates, an very andrew-like andrew, Neil is one the run, the sweet feeling of andreil being soulmates.

the key to us. by andreil (andreil, 12k)

Three takes on their daily lives: an evolution of Sleeping together, Fighting each other, and Protecting each other.

I had heartburn reading this, I find this series almost perfect. Some daily-life action in the future, but it’s never boring. It’s both intense and fluffy.

Read it for: sweet everyday things, but also intense in character interaction, boys figuring shit up together, a good Healing of the Soul.

     willing to give by seeingrightly (andreil, 5k)

Normally, Andrew is the one who has bad days. 

The one where Neil has a bad day, and they deal with it. A touching piece, that felt very in character. A believable interpretation of Neil’s feelings, while Andrew is There, ever present as his understanding and supporting self for him. Almost bittersweet but somehow by the end, all that was left was pure, positive feelings.

Read it for: a bag of neatly packed feels, a how-to manual on handling them, quiet time together.

time will tell by Saul (general with background andreil, 8k)

In which the Foxes become parents too young, and Neil is truly just fine. Neil is somehow, suddenly, eight year old.

An interesting take on Neil’s childhood, with the added bonus of the foxes interacting with a child. I think this might be the most civil Aaron has ever been toward Neil in. Some are better at handling a child than others, and it’s surprising.

Read it for: a cute young Neil, an heartbreakingly scarred young Neil, unsurprising temper-tantrums, a lost Wymack, having your heart burned to ashes by how pure a child is.

Five Things Neil Was Surprised To Enjoy by moonix (andreil, 3.989 words)

Five things Neil was surprised to enjoy, and one thing he wasn’t surprised to discover he still didn’t.

Don’t let it fool you, there is only pure sweetness here. Several moments of Neil discovering the wonders of life, it’ll definitely leave you smiling.

Read it for: Neil eats a sweet (almost unbelievable), Nicky’s bad influence on Andrew’s boyfriend, catching up after a life on the run.

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“Ronan stared into his breathtaking eyes, lifting the boy’s hand to his mouth to kiss the back of it… His lips lingered longer than necessary but he couldn’t help it.”

my piece for the raven cycle big bang! from @manonblaccbeak‘s incredible cinderella au burning glances, turning heads. i am in love.

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Alive part two

Nathaniel sat on his and Nico’s couch as they watch a match of Exy on the TV.

“Watch this!” Nico pointed at Andrew in goal. The ball was just about to get in, but Andrew twisted his body and caught it. He threw it down court into Kevin’s racket with such force someone on the other team dodged out the way.

Nathaniel il could imagine the muscles in his shoulders flexing as he flung the ball down court. Yep, he was not ace like he previously thought.

The game finished, Andrew’s teams favour. Nathaniel didn’t actually know any of the teams, there was just Andrew’s team and every other team.

“Can we watch a Fox game?” Nathaniel asked. Nico happily put on a match, Foxes vs Catamounts.

It was impressive, it really was. Neil Josten was amazing and faster than anybody else on that court. Number 8 getting in a fight was funny because Nathaniel knew he wasn’t the type to throw a punch. He didn’t know how he knew, it was like a feeling.

Andrew shut down the goal and the Catamounts didn’t stand a chance.

When Nathaniel watched this game, it felt like he had been there before. Almost like he had played this game.

The Foxes won something to something and everyone went crazy. Josten was jumped on by number 8, but he was watching Andrew in goal.

The way he watch Neil made it painstakingly obvious of his feelings. Nathaniel didn’t understand how the public didn’t know anything about their relationship.

Andrew didn’t look different today that he did in this footage, just with more stubble and muscles.

Nico has gone into the kitchen to start on dinner so Nathaniel was left in the lounge room alone. He couldn’t find the remote so the next video to play couldn’t be shut off.

“It is speculated that Andrew Minyard has been secretly dating a mystery man.” The lady on the TV was say. “He was seen in a Berlin shopping centre heading to a coffee shop with an unknown green haired man. When the press caught up with them, Minyard began leaving with his hand on the mans back, whispering into his ear.”

The lady was around Nathaniel’s age and was wearing a blue jersey with the number 5 on it with the name Minyard.

“Later, Minyard would punch a reporter for asking, quote, ‘How would Neil feel knowing you are moving on?’ This has lead fans to believe that Josten and Minyard were involved in an intimate relationship before Jostens kidnapping and death.”

A photo of Andrew and Nathaniel came up on screen. It was taken from behind so Nathaniel could see Andrew gripping his shirt.

Nathaniel turned off the TV as Nico came back in to the lounge room holding a bowl of tortilla chips.

“Wanna go get tattoos?” Nathaniel asked randomly.

“Did you remember something?” Nico asked. Neil only got tattoos of things he remembered. The doctors said he probably would remember anything but sometimes Nathaniel got flashes of a memory.

“Keys, something about keys.” Nathaniel replied. Nico sent a questioning gaze to him. Nathaniel tried to remember more. “Someone gave me keys to something.”

“Weren’t you found with a set of keys?” Nico asked. Nathaniel couldn’t remember, he just has a set of keys in his draw that he didn’t remember having.

Nathaniel went to find them, it took a bit of shuffling around, but right in the back of his desk were keys.

Nathaniel knew them, knew of them anyways. He knew the dips and the teeth of them by heart.

He walked out and threw the keys onto Nico’s lap.

“Wow, now try to remember who gave them to you.” Nathaniel closed his eyes, the smell of cigarette smoke and whiskey wrapping around him like a blanket. He remembered the feeling of anxiety in his chest. No, that wasn’t anxiety, it was shock. He remembered fingers digging into the hollow of his neck, the collar of his shirt being tugged. Nathaniel flicked through the keys, tracing the teeth until he found the one that matched the memory.

“This one.” Nathaniel opened his eyes, Nico was about to ask what it did but Nathaniel interrupted. “Someone...died, I think, and a different person gave me a key to...the...car- house it was a house.”

“Nathan, buddy, I think you dated someone before what happened.” Nico said. Nathaniel laughed.

“Yeah right.”

Right then, Nathaniel’s phone started ringing. He put it to his ear, not checking the caller ID.

“Hello, is this Nathaniel Wesninski?” A sweet voice said on the other end of the line.

“Yes, who is this?” Nathaniel replied.

“My name is Renee Walker, a friend of Andrew’s.”

“Is everything alright?” Nathaniel asked, worried. Nico look concerned from the couch.

“There’s been a bit of an accident, and I didn’t want you to find out over the media.” Renee said.

“What do you mean accident?” Nathaniel gripped the keys in his hand.

“I am sure you know about him and Neil, correct?” Nathaniel grunted. “Well, around this time of year Andrew gets...self destructive, more than usual. I thought it was over so I let him be.” Renee started sniffing. “Andrew went out to the bar at Columbia, someone gave him something with his drink. He was driving back to New York, drunk and high and still going. He took something else, I know he’d never tried it before, he overdosed while driving.”

Nathaniel didn’t speak, he didn’t breathe, he couldn’t see.

“Is he going to live?” Nathaniel murmured. Nico was up off his seat, in front of Nathaniel as fast as he could. “Is Andrew going to make it?”

Nico gasped.

“I-“ Renee choked. “They won’t tell me anything. They said they would only tell family. Andrew doesn’t have family!”

“Aaron?”

“They aren’t on speaking terms.”

“Nicky?”

“Stuck in Germany.”

“I’m coming.” Nathaniel said before hanging up. “I’m going to America.” He said to Nico.

“What happened?”

“Overdosed.” Nathaniel ran into his room, grabbed a bag, a shirt and pants, his laptop and shoes.

“Nathaniel, calm down.” Nico yelled. “You aren’t going to get a flight in such sort notice.”

“Well have you got any better ideas?”

“My dad owns a jet, remember?”

“Screw you and let’s go.”

All they had had to say to Nico’s insanely rich father was, “Nathaniel’s boyfriend is going to die!” And they were in the air.

When they plane took off Nathaniel got hit with another memory.

“You weren’t lying when you said you were afraid of heights.”

He was looking out over planes through a glass panel. Andrew was standing next to him.

Then it was gone, and he was back on the jet and going to New York.

Nathaniel had always wanted to go to New York, but he didn’t have time to sight see. He didn’t even remember getting to the hospital.

“Andrew Minyard!” He called to the lady at the front desk.

“How are you related?” The nurse asked.

“Husband.” Nathaniel claimed. A girl with a cross around her neck and white and rainbow hair gripped his arm.

“I told you he was coming from Germany, ma’am.” She said. This was Renee, Nathaniel knew it instantly.

“You aren’t here.” The nurse said, pointing at the computer. “Mr Minyard isn’t married.”

“He is! Please, at least tell me if he’s alright!” Nathaniel pleaded.

“You aren’t Familly-“ The nurse started but cut herself off when she looked behind Nathaniel.

Nathaniel turned to see Andrew falling against the wall, blood running down his arm from where he ripped the IV out.

“N-N-“ Andrew was trying to say something, reaching an unstable hand to Nathaniel.

Nathaniel ran forward and caught Andrew as he fell.

“Andrew, Andrew.” Nathaniel held him. “I’m your husband, just go along with it.” He whispered into Andrew’s ear. Andrew buried his face into Nathaniel shoulder, trying to speak but there was no sound. “Shh, shh.”

It took four nurses to get Andrew back to his bed. Nathaniel was allowed in, so was Renee and Nico. Kevin came later, saying that Aaron was in the waiting room.

When Kevin had seen Nathaniel, he gasped. He looked like he had seen a ghost. Renee had said his name very sternly and left to talk to Aaron.

“The other person in the car was killed.” Kevin said. Nathaniel didn’t even know there was another person. “I don’t know the guy, he was older and definitely the guy who drugged Andrew.”

Nathaniel flinched.

“First Drake and then this guy.” Kevin mumbled.

Drake.

Nathaniel saw blood and an Exy racket. He saw Andrew laughing and bleeding. He was scars and a body.

Andrew turned over in his bed, just slightly so it was easier to see Nathaniel.

“Screw you Josten.” Andrew said to Nathaniel.

“Andrew, I’m not-“ Nathaniel stopped, because for once he couldn’t be sure of who he was. He had all these memories that had Andrew in them, but he had only met Andrew a month and a half ago.

Five months later and he was still in the US. He was staying with Andrew in Andrew’s apartment and he never wanted to leave. This place had an arcade, indoor swimming pool, ice cream stand and a destruction room. The TV on the fourth floor was the size of a movie screen and the popcorn bar was heavenly.

“Why do you ever leave your house?” Nathaniel had asked.

“Because I have the worst job with the worst co-workers.” Andrew replied.

Nathaniel was still stuck on whether to ask about his memories. There were moments when the words almost tumbled out of him, “did we know each other before?” Like when they were watching the lion king because neither of them could sleep. Or when Nathaniel was dyeing Andrew’s hair dusty purple to match his.

However, it was the high level of alcohol in his system that brought out the words.

Andrew wasn’t allowed to drink yet because he was still a bit weak from his overdose, but it was late at night and Nathaniel needed something.

“You’re a mess.” Andrew said.

Nathaniel was upside down on the couch. “Being drunk helps me remember.”

“Remember what?” Andrew took a seat next to Nathaniel.

“Anything!” Nathaniel sighed, exhausted. “Good or bad, really I just want to know something.” He sat up properly, looking at Andrew like a sad puppy. “Or you could tell me.”

Andrew’s shoulders tensed. “That’s impossible.”

Nathaniel shook his head, frustrated. Why does nobody understand. “No! I have all these memories of you, Kevin too! Even Renee! You were part of my old life, I know it!”

“You’re drunk-“

“You are afraid of heights and planes, I remember the planes. Drake and a club. A bus! I have all these little things I remember- keys, the keys!” Nathaniel jumped up and raced to his duffle bag from the bench. He dug out the keys and showed them to Andrew. “See! This one opens a house.” He showed the key to Andrew.

His face was blank but his shoulders were bunched. Andrew didn’t say anything for the longest time. He got up off the couch and headed for the door.

“Sober up.” He said.

“What happened to only wanting to kill me 90% of the time?” Andrew stopped dead in his tracks.

“You already died.” It sounded like Andrew chose his words carful but at the same time, like he didn’t mean to say them.

The next week Nathaniel was going along like that conversation a had never happened. He was pretty sure now that Andrew knew something he didn’t. Everyone did. Kevin always watched him suspiciously and conversations seemed to die when Nathaniel entered a room.

Nathaniel had to pick up Andrew from practice when Kevin wanted to stay longer. Kevin had given Andrew a ride there so Nathaniel had to use his car. That was another one of the keys. Why he had keys to Andrew’s car, he didn’t know.

When Andrew got into the car he grabbed the front of Nathaniel’s shirt and brought his face to his. Nathaniel’s breath hitches and he closed his eyes, subconsciously waiting for Andrew to do something.

Instead, he mumbled, “Take me to get ice cream.” Nathaniel was pushed back into the drivers side door.

Nathaniel had a feeling Kevin was watching so he did a few rings in the parking lot before heading in the way of the ice cream shop.

“Who taught you to drive?” Andrew asked.

“I don’t know. I just got in a car one day and the next thing I knew I was in Germany.” Nathaniel shrugged.

“You ran.” Andrew didn’t ask it like a question.

“It felt right, I don’t know, okay Andrew.” Nathaniel gripped the stirring wheel harder and turned a sharp right. “I don’t know anything about myself so leave it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

Nathaniel parked across three spaces and got out with a slam of the door. He rounded the car and knocked on Andrew’s window. Andrew rolled down the window, looking at Nathaniel with a bored look.

“Stay here, I’ll get your order.” When Neil returned he had an espresso and vanilla for himself and a rainbow flavour and a caramel/chocolate/honey comb thing for Andrew.

Before he gave it to Andrew, Nathaniel licked his ice cream with his eyes locked with Andrew’s.

He handed it over and Andrew contemplated it. “Now it’s contaminated.” Andrew sounded grossed out but by the shift in his body tension Nathaniel knew his joke was more than that to Andrew.

Nathaniel licked his lips and hummed. He hated how sweet the taste on his tongue was but, shh.

“That’s good.” Nathaniel said.

“Unlike you.” Andrew snapped. “Just start driving.”

Nathaniel started driving to the public Exy court. Once Andrew realised, he groaned.

“I need you to help me practice.” Nathaniel told him when they stopped. “I was hoping you could help me with my stance.”

Andrew left the car angry.

The only armour they had was Andrew’s and he felt he didn’t need it so they went in unprotected.

Mid-practice Nathaniel’s phone started ringing with a picture of Nico’s face piping up on his phone screen.

“Hey, Nico.” Nathaniel puffed.

Andrew rolled his eyes, retuning to rebounding and catching the ball off the wall.

“Don’t, ‘Hey Nico’ me!” He yelled. “Look, bro, I get it, your boyfriend almost died but you still have friends back in Germany. Or did you forget?”

“Hey, Nico, calm down.” Nathaniel told him.

“No, we’ve heard nothing from you in four months! Laura is so worried you forget about us to go hang with your famous new friends.” Nico didn’t let Nathaniel interrupt. “Are you coming back to Germany, Nathaniel?”

“Nico.” Nathaniel didn’t add onto the name. He didn’t know what to say. He had forgotten about Nico and Laura. “I-“

“Are You coming back to Germany? Yes or no?” Nico demanded.

“Yes or no, Neil Josten?” Andrew hovered over him, eyes glazed. He said Neil’s name but his eyes locked on Nathaniel’s and they weren’t letting go.

“It’s always yes with you, remember?” Nathaniel had replied. Then they were kissing.

Nathaniel understood now. He understood everything.

“Nico, I’ll call you back to arrange flights.” Nathaniel hung up. His phone cracked when it hit the floor. Nathaniel left it there. “Andrew.” He said.

Andrew ignored him.

“Andrew!” He picked up a ball and through it at Andrew’s head, it just missed.

“What?” Andrew growled. He turned around and Nathaniel remembered every time he had looked up at Andrew.

“It’s always yes with you.” Nathaniel said just loud enough for Andrew to hear. Andrew’s shoulders tensed and the racket clatter to the floor.

Andrew’s black shirt cling to his body with sweat, the rise and fall of his chest more evident.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Nathaniel asked. “Why?”

“Nathaniel-“

“Neil. I’m Neil Josten, aren’t I?” Nathaniel demanded. His head was spinning, he could hear his heart racing in his ears, blood almost drowning out Andrew’s voice.

“Neil.” That one word held so much pain in it. Too much for one person to feel, to keep inside for seven years. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Nathaniel remembered saying, knowing that that would be the last time he would see Andrew. “You were amazing.”

Neil Josten’s coming back from the dead stunt had shocked the whole world, Exy fans and others alike. Even ten years after disappearing people could not stop asking him.

Now he was back playing with Andrew and Kevin. They had won gold at the Olympics last year and they were back as the golden trio of Exy.

Andrew and Neil have been out since that game when Neil took Andrew by the collar and kissed him to the roar of the crowd behind them.

Nico had been at the engagement party with Laura by his side. Nicky let his daughters meet their uncle and Aaron texted Andrew for the first time in years.

Everything was going great.

Until Neil woke up with his pulse souring and sweating. His father grinned at him, clever glinting his cold death in his hand.

“Nathaniel, my greatest disappointment.” His voice rung out in Neil’s head.

Help me, help me, help me!

He gasped, a sound like Andrew’s name.

Andrew flinched awake. Neil grasped for him, needing something to keep him today and not then.

Andrew didn’t push Neil’s hands away when they touched his skin.

“Something from the road?” Andrew asked. Neil had had nightmares from when he was on the run with his mother.

“No- my father-“ Andrew rolled over so they were facing each other. He put Neil’s hand over his heart and his other hand tight in Neil’s white hair, tugging. “When they took me-he-Lola-“

Andrew tightened his grip in Neil’s hair. Neil breathed, thinking over the words he wanted to say.

“They hurt me.” Neil felt stupid for saying something so obvious. “They hurt me and all I could think about was coming home...to you.”

Neil slowly moved his hand from Andrew’s strong chest to his jaw, stubble grazing his palm.

“And you did come home.” Andrew told him. “You’re right here, in our apartment with our Olympic’s trophy right over there and big bed to share with just me.”

Neil let out a shaky breath. That was the closest thing to an ‘I love you’ as the two could get.

Neil lifted his and Andrew’s interlocked hands so his could admire the gold bands around their fingers.

Everything was going perfect.

It was Sunday morning and Kevin was texting them to meet him for practice. He was ignored.

Andrew rolled them over so he was looking down on Neil. He leant down, kissing the burn mark on Neil’s cheek like it would go away. He made his way down Neil’s body until head got to his chest.

“Yes or no?” Andrew said into Neil’s collar bone.

“Yes.” Neil replied.

Andrew lowered himself down until there was no space between them and Neil’s hear beat was evening out under his ear.

Then Sir jumped onto Neil’s face, King following by curling up on Andrew’s back.

Kk, this is done. I didn’t try on writing this alright so it is bad. At the end I just wanted to wrap it up so it’s rushed. There isn’t any detail and it’s super quick but whatever, I had an idea and I was to lazy to expand on it. Thanks for reading though.

Part one

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Alive part 1

Neil Abram Josten was dead. He had never lived, but he was still dead and gone and absent and dead.

Dead, dead, dead.

It was a familiar word, playing like a broken record in Andrew’s head. A broken, dead record in a broken, dead mind.

Andrew imagined his mind like a smashed mirror, fragile and blood stained, unable to give a clear image to those who gazed upon it. This was all because Neil Josten had been fine.

Andrew hates many things, the words family and please, bitter tastes, people, but on that night a whole bunch of things were added to the list. The number zero made Andrew violent, thank you was torture to hear and Exy made him homicidal.

He still played it though, so Kevin wouldn’t die either. He didn’t care if Kevin died, he didn’t care if he himself died. Andrew didn’t care at all. The one thing that had made him feel disappeared like a tea light candle flickering out in the wind.

“Andrew?” Came a cheerful voice. Andrew looked up from his phone to see Nicky Hemmick, his all to happy cousin, smiling at him. “What are you doing in Germany? Especially unannounced?”

Andrew didn’t answer, he saw no reason to.

Nicky, after years of experience, let it slide. Six years ago, he may have pressed on, but Nicky eventually took the hint four years ago that Andrew was now a whole new type of broken.

Nicky played it off like Andrew had replied. “Well, it’s crazy to see you again. Erik and I were just grabbing stuff for dinner. His parents are looking after the girls for the day.”

Andrew has never met his nieces, Nicky and him had silently agreed that it would never happen. As soon as one of them started crying, Andrew would have done something that Nicky would regret.

“Hey, you should join us!” Nicky exclaimed. Andrew started walking away, trying to find his favourite ice cream in the frozen section of the supermarket. “Okay, sorry, bad idea, you’re right.” Nicky was still following him.

“How’s Aaron?” Nicky attempted to make conversation. “Is he getting used to the married life?”

In truth, Andrew didn’t know how his twin was, like everyone, Andrew didn’t care enough to care. Andrew grunted and that made Nicky ecstatic.

“And Kevin?” Nicky asked through the frosted glass door that was opened right in front of his face. Andrew got his ice cream and walked away again. “Fine, I’m guessing, with the recent win.”

Andrew skipped checkout 0 even though it was the shortest line up and headed to number 6 which was significantly longer.

“What about you, are you doing okay after Neil’s-“

Andrew whipped around, his fingers crushing the windpipe in Nicky’s throat.

“You have no right to say his name, Nicolas.” Andrew growled out Nicky’s full name because he knew it reminded him of his parents, or mainly his lack of them.

“Andrew, it would be nice of you to put down my husband.” Andrew cast his eyes lazily over the the man speaking German at him. Erik looked like he was playing it cool, but his fist was tight around the handles of his shopping basket.

Andrew basically threw his cousin at Erik, telling him to drag Nicky away with the most venomous glare ever. As Andrew paid, he heard Nicky saying things like, “It’s my fault, I over stepped my boundaries again.”

Andrew carried on with his plan for the day; get his cash changed from American to German because his was running low on cash, buy a new charger for his phone, went to the key smiths and went to get a haircut.

That’s where is all went wrong. A haircut was usually a bad experience, for both the barber and himself, but this was worse.

His hair was bright purple, messy and curly, his eyes were icy blue and his smile was so wide.

Neil Josten, age nineteen and Exy prodigy goes missing after game

After two years, Neil Josten is presumed Dead by authorities

Hunt for Neil Josten closed, body found in building foundation by demolition team in England

But Neil didn’t look dead at all, in fact, he look more alive than he ever had. There were no bags under his eyes and his complexion was tanned. He had a burn scar on one cheek and three lines down the other.

Andrew blinked, but Neil was still there. He held his eyes shut, rubbing them like Neil would disappear again.

Alive, alive, alive. So damn alive.

“Nathaniel!” Someone scolded of him and Neil turned away from the voice, holding in his laughter as his co-worker pulled funny faces.

Neil noticed Andrew, smiling at him. Neil came out from behind the front desk, ripped jeans paired with a red over-sized hoodie.

“Guten Tag!“ Neil greeted him in German. “Wie geht es dir?“

Andrew knew what Neil had asked him, he knew how to answer, but he just stared.

“Herr?” Neil reached for Andrew but let his hand hover. “Wie geht es dir, Herr?”

“Nicht so gut, Neil.” Andrew stood back, world tilting as he moved.

“Maybe you should sit down.” Neil guided Andrew towards a chair, in the mirror Andrew was ghost white, chalky skinned and eyes wide. “Can I get you something to drink...”

it was too late when Andrew realised he was waiting for a name.

“How are you alive?” Andrew asked in English and Neil looked taken aback.

“I don’t know- Sir are you high or drunk or-“ Neil was taking a few steps back.

“Neil, Neil Josten.” Andrew said, he didn’t know why. He hadn’t said that name in six years, Andrew had almost forgot what it sounded like on his own tongue.

“Alright, would you like me to help you find him?” Neil pulled at his hair.

No, he’s dead. You’re dead. Andrew wanted to grab this Neil by the shoulders, shake him until the nightmare subsided and he woke up in an empty and cold bed.

Andrew shook his head.

“Okay. Okay. Just breathe and I’ll be back in a moment.” Neil returned with a biscuit and a mug of coffee. Andrew didn’t touch the coffee because it looked to bitter but he ate the biscuit. “What is you name?”

Andrew choked.

“Andrew Minyard.” Neil smiled like he knew something Andrew didn’t. Maybe he did. “Can I get a trim and highlights.”

Neil let his face fall slack for a moment before nodding.

When Andrew got home, he could almost see the red marks on his skin from where Neil had touched him.

When Andrew went back to the shops the next week, Neil’s hair was black until his eyes and then snow white.

Andrew observed from a coffee booth, spying from over his mug. Neil was good at doing hair, and he liked to catch with his costumers.

Andrews phone hummed in his hand. Renee was the only person who called him.

It was a simple ‘are you treating yourself good?’ Like every question was around this time of year.

‘Come home soon, Andrew. I don’t want you to be alone.” Renee said, stopping mid-sentence with the sound of sizzling bacon in the background.

“Why?”

“You know why.” Renee didn’t beat around the bush with this. “Andrew, Neil’s-“ Andrew flinched “-anniversary makes you dangerous, not only to yourself but to others.”

“Shut up.”

“I want you to be happy.” Renee pleaded.

“Well I can’t be!” Then he hung up the phone.

The booth lowered beneath Andrew as someone took a seat next to him.

“Is everything okay?” Neil sipped his coffee gently like it would be too hot.

“Give me your phone.” Neil gave it over. Andrew tuned on Sir and said into it, “Neil Josten disappearance.”

Hundreds of articles came up at that search, Andrew found one without a photo of Neil.

“You follow Exy?” Andrew asked.

“Ugh,” Neil growled, “I hate that sport! It’s so stupid.” Andrew couldn’t help but scoff. Neil Josten saying Exy was stupid was just to ironic.

“Well, I play for New York with Kevin Day. Used to play for PSU in collage, for the Foxes.”

“I’ve heard of them, a friend follows it like a religion.” He seemed to loath Exy more than Andrew. “He’s obsessed with Day, and that dwarf bodyguard of his.” Andrew gripped the knife beside his coffee on the table. “Oh, wait. That’s you isn’t it?”

Andrew grunted, Neil laughter brightly. Neil snagged his phone back and read the article that Andrew had found.

“Hey, he went missing seven years ago today! Did you used to play with him?”

“In more ways than one, yeah.” Neil snorted, then laughed loudly. Andrew’s chest aches like hot coals replaced his lungs.

Alive, alive, alive.

“I hated him. Oh, I hated him so much.” Andrew hated that just voice shook on the word hate. He knew that word had a different meaning when it was directed at Neil. Andrew’s fist shook, he wanted to punch something. “I never knew why he was killed, Kevin wouldn’t tell me. But sometimes it feels like he’s still alive.”

It was weird. Andrew was talking to someone, and not just anyone about anything. He was talking to Neil about his own death that he couldn’t seem to remember.

Dead, dead, dead.

Alive, alive, alive.

“Well is that why you’re here? Was he buried here?”

“No, parts of his dismembered body were found in building foundations over in England. He wasn’t buried. I don’t actually know what happened to him.” Neil flinched, smile gone.

“If you want to talk-“

“I have already said to much.” Andrew started to leave but a hand gently wrapped around his wrist.

“Come around to the shop around three, it’s when I get off for the day. We can grab a coffee or something.” Neil smiled and let Andrew go. Andrew’s skin was on fire. “Oh, and my names Nathaniel Wesninski.”

Andrew’s hotel was big. He earned a lot of money playing Exy so he spent it all on stupid things. This hotel had a ball pit. It was three stories and the pinball machine room was where he spent most of his time. Alone.

Andrew walked down the hall on the top floor, passing Kevin in the gym. Andrew wasn’t going leave Kevin in America by himself so he dragged him to Germany with him. They hadn’t talked the whole week they had been in the the country and Andrew liked it that way.

He had a beer in one hand and ice cream in the other. When Kevin saw his unhealthy idea of lunch, he rolled his eyes.

“You can’t actually eat that for lunch.” Kevin commented.

“I can and I will, now shut up.” Andrew was about to walk into the games room.

“I invited Nicky over.” Kevin told him. “He told me about what you did. You’re lucky no press saw you.”

“Don’t care.” Andrew really didn’t. “I’m going out later anyways, so it will just be you two.”

“Where are you going?” Kevin got off the treadmill, bringing his shirt up to whipe the sweat off his face. “Not to do anything dumb or illegal?”

“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out in the car.” Andrew replied. He wasn’t going to tell Kevin about Neil being alive. If Kevin knew he’d tell Neil everything and try to get him back into Exy.

“Andrew,” Kevin sighed, “look, I know you don’t care or feel anything about anything, but don’t do anything to ruin your life. Neil wouldn’t want-“

“Neil is dead, Kevin!” Andrew threw his beer bottle at Kevin’s head, missing by a millimetre. But Neil wasn’t dead. “He’s been dead for years and he can’t want anything!”

“Andrew, it’s okay to feel pain.” Kevin told him. He stepped forward, hands raised like he was approaching a deadly animal. “We all lost N-him that day, but you deserve to feel sad or grief because you lost someone you love!”

Andrew slammed the door shut behind him. He threw his bowl of ice cream then smashed the glass on one of the pinball tables. Then it was time to leave.

When he got to the barbershop, Neil was putting foils into a mans hair. He was smiling and saying something about loving the shade of red the man choose to dye his hair.

Andrew pushes past a girl asking if he wanted to make an appointment and walked to the back of the shop where Neil was. His hair was now green at the ends and not white.

“Andrew!” Neil exclaimed when he noticed the tiny blond approaching him. “Have a seat, I’ll get you a drink. Extra sugar.”

Andrew sit next to the man who watched him in awe.

“Can I help you?” Andrew arched an eyebrow.

“Oh, it’s just,” the man beamed up at Andrew, “you’re Andrew Minyard!”

Neil had returned with a grin, placing the sugary milk down in front of Andrew.

“No, I am his twin.” Andrew said. The man just laughed, clearly not aware that there was two Minyards. “Aaron.”

“I knew an Aaron.” Neil began, eyebrows furrowing. “Have no idea where from or how, though. Funny thing is, I’m pretty sure he had a twin brother.” Neil laughed. Andrew wanted to bottle that sound.

“Small world.” Andrew muttered. His phone rang so he fished it out of his back pocket. “What do you want, Day?” He grunted into the phone and the man squealed. Andrew realised that this was the freind Neil had been talking about earlier.

Kevin slurred something into the speaker and Nicky screamed in the background somewhere. They were drunk as frat boys at three o’clock in the afternoon.

“You know, Drew,” Kevin slurred, “the way you spoke to me earlier was...was mean!” Andrew didn’t care. “I was just trying to help. Neil was...was my...friend tooooooo!”

Nicky started crying in the background, saying something like, “sweet Neil!”

“Kevin. You are drunk. Leave me alone and drink water and try not to fall off the balcony.” Then Andrew hung up the phone, heart aching. Why did it feel like Neil was everywhere, every time Andrew turned around he saw him. Some days he wished he had never met Neil at all.

Neil brought him back to reality when he leant over the back of the chair Andrew was sitting in to whisper, “I put some scotch in the coffee.” Then he went back to putting foils in his friends originally blond hair. Andrew drunk the coffee in one breathe and Neil giggled.

“I’m not supposed to give that to costumers but your tecically not buying anything.” Neil shrugged. It didn’t taste to good, it was just sweet milk and scotch but it was greatly appreciated.

In the time Andrew was sat in the shop he had four more of those drinks, learnt that the friend was called Nico and sighed a piece of paper for Nico to get tattooed.

Nico payed, spent ten minutes talking to Neil about Laura’s birthday present with a smirk and the kissed Neil goodbye.

Andrew almost took the scissors off the bench to stab Nico with.

Neil laughed, though, rubbing his cheek with a fake disgusted face.

“Sorry about him,” Neil turned to Andrew. “Nico’s a bit...special is the word I’d use. We are just friends though, he’s got a girl, Laura.” He pronounced Laura as Low-ra when he talked. “Still insists on kissing me goodbye every time though, say just because I’m ace doesn’t mean I don’t deserve some love.”

Neil shook his head, hair floating like a merman’s underwater. He was smiling quietly as they both fell into step beside each other, walking to seemingly no where.

“You’re ace?” Andrew asked after a moment of silently contemplating it. When Neil had first come to the Foxes he had said the same thing, I don’t swing, and all that. Kevin later said he was probably demi and hadn’t had a chance to figure out what he wanted.

“Yeah, is there a problem, Andrew?” Neil didn’t ask out of irritation, but genuine concern.

“No, the guy I used to date was demi.” Andrew made a point about say ‘guy’. Neil nodded. They didn’t look at each other, but they walked until they reached a coffee shop. Tooth Café.

They were about to sit down when Andrew spotted a camera pointed his way. Damn the press.

“Put your head down and walk to the nearest exit.” Andrew murmured. Neil didn’t ask why, he did what he was asked. Andrew put a hand on Neil’s back, fingers gripping the printed button up that Neil wore as he guided him away from the press.

The press chased after them, just behind them now and asking questions. Andrew suddenly pulled Neil around a corner. He grabbed the back of Neil’s neck to face him.

“Black car, number plate 157 RRT, floor two, seconction G. Run.” And Neil was off, running with the speed of the striker Andrew had once known.

The press had caught him, sticking a mic in his face.

“Andrew, Andrew. Who was that man?”

“You don’t need to know.” Andrew walked the opposite way to where Neil had ran.

“A lover?”

“Does Day know you’re here?”

“Who was the man?”

“Andrew, any comment on the rumours regarding your sexuality?”

“Since you played for the Foxes, how do you feel about Neil Josten’s death?”

“Who’s death?” Andrew retorted. The reporter gasped.

“Your old teammate-“ said someone at the same time somebody said “your late lover!”

“How would Neil feel knowing that you are moving on?” A reporter said next to his left ear. Andrew lashed out, punching the man in the throat.

The press launched back, some ran away. On lookers gapped as Andrew walked away.

Andrew found Neil sitting on the hood of his black Mercedes, scrolling through his phone.

They got in before anyone could see them together.

“Someone posted a video.” Neil whispered.

“Kevin’s gonna scold me.” Andrew pulled out of the car park and on to the open road.

“The reporter deserved that though, for what he said.” Neil was testing the waters of this conversation, now that he knew how angry Andrew could get. “He had no right.”

Andrew was silent.

“I watched one of your games, well two actually.” Neil started a new conversation. “Neil’s last game and yours, Andrew.”

Neil’s last game.

Thank you, you were amazing

0

He had ran around that stadium so many times, he didn’t find anything except the bag.

Andrew swiveled the car back onto the road when he started to go into the next lane. Someone cussed at him from a different car.

“Andrew, the way you shut down the goal is incredible. Maybe you could teach me a bit before you left?” With that, Andrew changed direction towards his hotel. When he arrived, he told Neil to stay while he ran upstairs.

Upstairs in one of the living rooms, Kevin was passed out drunk while Nicky was certainly on the way. Andrew grabbed two sets of gear that Kevin had made him bring with them and stuffed it in a bag. He raced down to the car with a pint of ice cream and two spoons.

“Every time I do anything remotely Exy-ish, i eat a whole one of these. Kevin hates it.”

Andrew had to wait for Neil to figure out how to put on the gear, because it wasn’t like Andrew was going to help Neil dress.

Neil looked like Neil in his armour. A green haired Neil.

“Alright, just try and take a shot in on me.” Andrew said. When Neil took the shot, the ball fell a few feet in front of Andrew.

Andrew got the ball in his racket and threw it down the court to where Neil would have been waiting for him seven years ago.

This present day Neil gapped in shock.

“Woah!” He exclaimed. “You are amazing!”

“You’re not allowed to say that.” Andrew glared Neil down.

They tried again and this time Andrew caught it. Then they tried again and Andrew reached for it. The next time Andrew was too distracted by the muscles moving in Neil’s thighs to block his shot.

“OMG!” Neil cheered. “I won!” He struggled to take off his helmet. “I got a goal in on Andrew Minyard because he was checking me out!”

“Was not.” Andrew argued but it was ignored by Neil screaming into a phone.

“Nico!” He started telling him all about what just happened. When Nico didn’t believe him, Neil switched the FaceTime camera to Andrew. “Told you!”

Andrew let them talk and eventually Neil calmed down. Andrew just watched him talk into the camera from goal.

He missed Neil.

He hated Neil.

Andrew launched a ball down caught, it seemed to pass Neil on flames. That ball carried only a small part of his anger. So he threw another and another. Neil ducked away, ending the call.

Andrew threw the whole bag of balls across court, still seething. When he was done, Andrew was shaking. Neil looked up at him from the floor to which he dove to when balls seemed to be aiming themselves at his head.

“Andrew-“

“Shut up!” He slammed his racket into the wall, snapping it in half. “God, just shut up! Stop looking at me and shut up!”

“Andrew- look at me-“ Andrew couldn’t. He couldn’t look at Neil without breaking. He had gone seven years without breaking, it couldn’t be now. “Shout at me. Tell me everything you want to tell him.”

Andrew grabbed him by the hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me anything? You knew they were coming for you, why didn’t you let me protect you?” Andrew screamed at Neil who look just about ready to cry. “You knew they were coming for you and you still played, you still made me feel something about you! You knew it wasn’t nothing so why did you let me fall knowing you were going die?”

“Andrew,” Neil gasped.

“What!”

“I don’t think I am ace after all.”

Pink. Baby pink.

Renee was going to be so happy.

Andrew wasn’t sure how Neil had managed to get Andrew’s hair that shade of pink, but the media loved it. The first time they had seen it was when Andrew was leaving the New York airport with Kevin Day at his side.

@TheJeanKnoxMor

@AJminyard not bad, Jeremy did call you a baby though

@offcialJeremyKnoxM

@AJminyard @TheJeanKnoxMor did not! Please don’t kill me, Andrew!

That was the most liked response. Some fans speculated why he would have dyed his hair such an unAndrew colour.

One fan said something along the lines of mental breakdown and Andrew wasn’t sure that was wrong.

Renee had liked it, she had called him cute. Aaron said it made him look gay, Andrew had kissed Kevin in reply. Thea had laughed at that.

Nicky kept texting him, even after there was no reply.

One morning Andrew woke alone, like every morning or sometimes afternoons.

The first notefication was; @NathanielWes04 is following you

Neil had sent him a dm over Instagram.

Heyyyy, Andrew! I looked up what time it is over in NY and I am sorry if this wakes you up!

Andrew almost smiled. Almost. Andrew called him, too tied to type a text. Neil picked up after the fourth ring.

“Drew,” he mumbled gently. Andrew had woke him, but he didn’t care. Because Neil wasn’t around, Andrew allowed himself to feel something.

“Hello.” Andrew said back. It was all silence.

“Why don’t you ever say my name, Andrew?” Neil slurred sleepy at Andrew.

Because it hurts.

“Your name is stupid.” Neil laughed at that.

“I share it with my dad.” Neil smile was evident in his voice. “Or at least I think I do. I don’t remember.”

“Don’t remember?” Andrew prodded.

“I was found in a dich somewhere between Cornwall and London, I think that where it was. Anyways, around five years ago a jogger found me minutes from death. I don’t remember anything from my birth to a week after I was found.”

Minutes from death? They had tried to kill him, but stupid Neil Josten survived. Of course he did.

“What colour is your hair?” Andrew asked when his chest felt too tight.

“Ash.”

They were silently listening to each other breathe and Andrew was reminded how alive Neil was.

Andrew imagined Neil lying in his bed in Berlin, on the left side of the mattress like he always used to. He saw his messy ash hair splaid out on the pillow and eyes hooded with sleep.

“Come to America.” Andrew shocked himself when he said. “New York, I’ll pay airfares.” Neil didn’t say anything, softly breathing instead. Actually, he was asleep again. “I hate you, Neil Josten.”

“I know.” He mumbled in his sleep. Andrew hung up and threw his phone at the wall. It shatter but Andrew didn’t care.

This meant some part of Neil knew who he was, right?

Andrew thought about kissing Neil again, it made his muscles ache so he blocked out the thought and got ready for breakfast with Renee.

“Andrew, that is amazing! Oh, my goodness, when does he come back to the US?” Renee was taking the news perfectly, at least in her mind.

“Never.” Andrew Said when he finished his bite of pancake. “Neil doesn’t know who he is and I intend on keeping it that way.”

“Why?”

“Because, it’s not Neil.” Andrew complained. “He’s a hairdresser with a new colour every week, let’s his friends kiss him goodbye and wears cropped shirts and short-shorts to the gym.”

Renee laughed softly like she always does.

Andrew wasn’t complaining about the later. Following Neil on Instagram was torture when he was trying to forget his lust. Andrew let his mind see a photo of Neil squatting with one leg stuck out, then pushed it away when Renee’s mouth started moving again.

“Andrew, this could be your chance for a happy life, take what you deserve.” Renee sipped her tea. Her hair was in need of a touch up at the roots. “Besides, he’s going the find out eventually.”

“Whatever.” Andrew finished his pancakes and coffee in silence. Renne didnt say anything for the rest of breakfast and Andrew almost thanked her.

Kevin was texting him, asking where he was because he was late for practice. They had come back to America a few weeks ago and Kevin basically slept at the court. In the month they had been in Berlin they hadn’t practiced together and that made Kevin even more enthusiastic.

Renee said goodbye to him out the front of the coffee shop and they went their separate ways.

Andrew headed to the court, hating every second of it. When he got there, Jean and Jeremy with talking with Kevin in the middle of the court.

“You didn’t say the newlyweds were going to be here.” Andrew said over the loud speaker. Kevin jumped a bit, but found Andrew scowling at him from the commentators box. “And Kevin, Jeremy is married now so back off.”

Andrew caught Jeremy snicker but Jean didn’t look to pleased. Kevin flipped Andrew off with an embarrassed look towards the couple.

Andrew loved to make fun of Kevin celebrity crush on Jeremy.

Andrew came down to the court, the only one not dressed in armour and he intended to keep it that way.

“We are going to be training with Jean and Jeremy.” Kevin told Andrew. “They were in town for the weekend so-“

“You thought, ‘let’s practice instead of hanging out like normal people!’” Andrew quirked a brow up at Kevin. He didn’t reply so Andrew started to leave.

“Andrew, wait.” Jeremy called after him. “We need someone to guard the goal.”

“Cool, call Sean.” Andrew replied. Sean was the other goalie on the team. He wasn’t as good as Andrew and couldn’t shut down the goal as good as Andrew, but he was alright.

“Andrew, it would be greatly appreciate if you would help us.” Jean asked. “I mean what else were you going to do?”

“Get drunk.” Andrew replied.

“It’s nine in the morning!” Kevin exclaimed.

“You’re right.” Andrew said. “I’ll hit someone up to drink with, never drink alone.”

Part two