guardianblinddatesreview-blog

[guardianblinddatesreview-blog]

Emily and Henry (05/01/19)

THE PHOTOS AND BIO’S

One half of today’s couple is Henry, who’s 26 and a software engineer. 

What kudos he gets for having an actual recognisable job (a rarity on GBD), he loses because of his uncanny resemblance to Rob Bryd.

The other half of this duo is Emily, who’s 23 and a master’s student. 

Why GBD don’t specify the actual subject being studied is beyond this writer’s comprehension. 

It leaves the reader with the not unreasonable assumption that it’s a Guardian friendly Humanities degree, most likely with a radical manifesto dissertation at the end. 

Emily is pretty, and one can easily imagine her holding her own on a date, particularly with Henry, whose name is probably popular with hipster parents now, but is just a bit old-fashioned.

In a nutshell, Henry is punching above his weight, and he’ll have to do very well to get Emily onside.

HENRY ON EMILY

 Henry hopes for a “fun evening” or a “good story."  Well, he’s one of life’s true originals! 

He’s relieved that they’ve both appropriately dressed for the date - anyone guessing that it’s down rather than up?

When replying to the "any awkward moments” questions, he gamely cites her asking for his number as the tube doors opened for her. 

Henry, mate, I** think that means that she didn’t want to be rude, but also didn’t really want your number**.

Henry applauds her table manners, citing her ordering steak despite him being pescatarian. 

Henry**, a cynic might say that she simply didn’t care about offending you**?

Henry describes Emily as “smart, interesting and independent.”

Prior to that, he said that he probably wouldn’t introduce Emily to his friends, assuring readers that that was because of them, and not her! 

Ah, it seems Henry is one of those insufferable guys who think he, and his friends, are just mad!  Henry, son, I bet you that you, and they, aren’t.

So far, so predictable.  And, as if by rote, we learn that Henry “thinks” she had fun, that they didn’t go anywhere else together and didn’t kiss.

Rather than change something about his chat, charm or attire, he courageously stated that he’d only change the arrival of Liverpool fans in the restaurant. 

This is the only accurate thing Henry's said. 

Although why the need to specify the team?  All football fans are similarly uncouth.  The wretches had probably come straight from a “yellow vest” protest. 

Anyway, he gives Emily 7/10, and says it’s unlikely that they’ll meet again because the of failure to swap numbers.  Which, of course, was NOT contrived…

EMILY ON HENRY

Emily gives essentially the same answer at Hapless Hank, but with far greater flourish and panache. 

She found him “relaxed, tall and welcoming." 

Well, he might be tall, but he’ll have been as relaxed as Frank Bruno was when he realised just how far out of his league he was in 1996. 

That’s showing my age, dear readers.  What a night that was.

Back to Emily.  Apparently, they talked about tumble turning when swimming and living in Australia.  Right. 

She, soothingly for Henry, doubles down on the couldn’t-get-the-number-because-of-the-Tube fable.  If only, but they were denied… 

Emily doesn’t get drawn on whether or not Henry has good table tables by disclosing something about herself.  Make of that what you will

The best thing about Henry is that he can "talk about anything” and Emily, in a surprise move, says that he’d fit in with her friends. 

Usually at this stage, the uninterested, and more attractive, half of the couple is citing differences to make the rejection softer. 

But Emily doesn’t…  She does, however, worry that Henry will think her a “stingy and hungry student." 

Well, he did think Emily preferred the meal to him.  And probably with good reason.

But Emily gives Henry both false hope and an honourable conclusion to this unlikely coupling with a 9/10.

And a vague hint that she might have kissed him if it hadn’t been for that pesky tube. 

She says the prospect of meeting again is "difficult”, given that they ran out of time to swap numbers. 

If this was the 1990s, that would make a decent plotline for a Rom Com. 

As it’s 2019, and the date was arranged by an easily contactable third party, it’s an overly complicated let-him-down-gently move.