h0llyalexander

[h0llyalexander]

@magicalswimmingsubmarine

[h0llyalexander]

Pester my muse about the relationships that you've seen them have with other muses.

[h0llyalexander]

i am so happy for you and your ugly fucking boyfriend im serious

[h0llyalexander]

"Ew!", Holly shrieked when Ellie mushed the hem of her shirt into her face. Even though it didn't even smell that bad. Ellie usually smelled nice, especially her hair, Holly loved how curly it was. But she was not supposed to show any positivity towards this awful t-shirt! She didn't want to encourage bad behavior.

. . .

When they were standing in front of the counter, Holly could kind of sense Ellie's uneasiness. She felt a little bit bad, because she knew what it was like to feel anxious like that, so she squeezed her hand again. Then, they were told to take a seat in the waiting room. An announcement for a root canal was made and Holly grimaced a little bit at the sound of it. Thank God she never had to have that done. She had pretty good teeth and as long as she brushed every day and flossed, it should be fine right? She sure fucking hoped so. She decided to focus on Ellie, a tiny smile blossoming on her lips when her best friend reached out to touch her hand. She scoffed but was clearly amused when Ellie said that she ran the risk of being considered 'too sexy' by the group. "If that happens, I will have to complain to Nora. She knows how to deal with drama in the group. And if that doesn't work, I will just steal you back!", she asserted, her fingers suddenly linking together with Ellie's as her voice took on a lot of determination. She was still joking...sort of. She hadn't even considered the possibility that they might like Ellie more than her. It was not out of the question, Ellie had kind of a cool outsider vibe going on sometimes that Holly knew for sure would do well in the group. But they would stick together. They always did. Ellie was her best friend first. And—

Her trail of thoughts was interrupted when she was asked about her parents. "Hm?", she replied, half pretending not to have heard the question because she didn't really want to answer it. She did tell her parents about the group, but not in detail. She just told them that she 'made some new friends' and that was basically it. They didn't ask a lot of questions. They never did, her father was busy with work and her mother was busy with fundraisers. Even her sister had her own clique, one that Holly was still not a part of, even after years of trying. "Oh, yes they know. They think it's fine. They're actually more worried about me hanging out with you", she teased. "Especially my mom. She's kind of weird about my friends sometimes, it's so lame. I think she thinks that you're like, gay or something? And I told her: mom, just because she wore a rainbow shirt one time doesn't mean she's gay. But she's like super convinced. And she's so homophobic, it's like not even funny." She sighed, distracted for a moment by the memory of that painful conversation. It was honestly weird. She didn't know for sure whether Ellie was queer, but...it didn't really matter, did it? Even if she was, could they not be friends, just because of that? It was a painful feeling to know that her mom would most likely answer yes. "Anywayyy...what about you? Have you told your family about me yet?" She blinked her eyes slowly, tucking her hair behind her ear as she pretended to be coy.

Ellie had definitely been a little too encouraging in Holly's brilliant idea to ditch Lewis. managed to take her nose out of the latest manga she borrowed from the library as soon as she had told her. It wasn't that she didn't want Holly to be happy, but this guy was pathetic and dumb. There was only room for one pathetic, dumb guy in Holly's life, and it was her. Sometimes, though, the two of them would find this weird equilibrium where she would actually find a thing or two he said funny. It was freaky, and after it was done Ellie always felt like she had to brush her teeth just to feel clean.

“Goooood demon impression,” she said, snorting. “You’re getting better at that. Try sounding more wet, though. Pretend you’ve got, like, a loogie stuck in your throat.” They both giggled in the squeaky bus seats, one of those ugly, echoey laughs that made old people stare. Ellie wished the moment could stretch just a little longer. She could smell Holly’s shampoo. Strands of her blond hair tickled Ellie’s shoulder, and she gently brushed them off, twirling a few around her fingers. She was careful; Holly had clearly spent time trying to make it look nice today. And it did.

But that was the one thing Ellie wouldn’t let her talk about. Her hair. even if it was frizzy and mostly tangled, it fell over Ellie’s face in a sort of mangled but cute way (Right?)

. . .

In a sick and twisted way she was glad Holly had said some shit that pissed her off, just slightly, because she’d really be pathetic if she just let herself unravel every. single. time. Ellie nearly lost control and bit a chunk out of her cheek trying not to bark back. Her teeth clenched, and if you listened closely you could hear her molars grinding in her mouth like she trying to start a lawnmower in there. Sometimes Holly was so casually out of touch it gave her whiplash. She wasn't sure if it was on purpose or not. She wanted to say: Some of us couldn’t afford new clothes, that this was new, to her, because it wasn’t a hand me down, and it wasn’t found floating in the river next to her house. She would get back at her, somewhere where it hurt. She wanted to be petty. Her face twisted slowly, muscles contorting into a grotesque, almost cartoonish grin. “Aren’t you the least bit turned on by my manly musk, though?” Then, without mercy, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and smushed it right into Holly’s face, rubbing it allover her nose. She would die soon, wouldn’t she?

In the panic she must've blacked out, because when she blinked, they were standing in the damp dentist office. Her senses started coming back to her, slowly, and despite feeling really cold in here, her focus immediately went to the warmth enveloping her hand. She gulped, staring at the girl in the reception with nervous bug eyes. “Goodwin,” she cleared her throat, “I have an appointment?” The lady looked at her clipboard, “Elenor?” And her whole body twitched. “Yeah.”

Moments of silence… before the two were instructed to sit. Then, “Doctor Porter, your 2-o clock is here for her root canal.” Her voice was wet and loud, and Ellie could hear her saliva swishing around every time she talked. Being here was torture. The light above them was doing unspeakable things to her retinas, eradicating them slowly into microwaved eggs that came stuffed those TV dinner pouches. looking at Holly was easier and less harrowing, so she scooted their chairs a little closer before resting her thumb over hers, brushing it gently. Holly's hands were a little bit smaller, only a little, being cocooned by her own. At least her nails were pretty, dashed in a coat of ruby as opposed to the usual black she wore. “I’ll wear something nice. Tonight. But, you can’t get all mad when everyone thinks I’m really sexy and wants to pull me away from you,” she smiled wryly, just teasing her. She was sure Holly was the life of the party, and she would be watching her all night like she always did. “Do your parents know you’re hanging out with them? I mean... I thought your mom was kind of on your case lately.” Her legs kicked a lil as they waited, which, she wasn't too sure why, considering it was empty in here.

[h0llyalexander]

When the lady behind them voiced her disapproval, Holly rolled her eyes a little bit but said nothing. Because she was used to that. Her parents were like that too, always telling her and her sister that they should be 'decent' girls. She knew what that meant. Don't party too much, keep up her grades, find a rich guy to marry and definitely, definitely don't sleep around. She had adhered to most of these rules, except maybe for the sleeping around one but she considered that justifiable because that was in service of finding her rich man. It hadn't quite worked out so far. She had about a dozen boyfriends, some of them did have money but they never held her interest for very long. Right now she was dating this guy named Lewis, but she was already on the verge of breaking up with him too. Mostly because he wouldn't agree to join her on her group trips with the Warriors Of Love.

Thank God Ellie was different. And not just in this way, she was also a lot more reactive towards the lady giving her unprovoked commentary. Holly struggled to hold back her laughter when Ellie started speaking in tongues, pretending to be possessed like one of those freaks in her scary movies. But this was actually funny. Holly cackled as she watched the horror on the lady's face and, feeling suddenly emboldened by her friend's antics, she couldn't help but join in. Rolling her eyes back too, pulling a face just like Ellie and giving her best impression of a demonic entity. She wasn't as convincing but it was enough to scare the woman off and make her change seats, leaving Holly half in tears with laughter.

"Oh my God, her face! I can't!", Holly exclaimed, still giggling as she buried her face in Ellie's shoulder for a moment. Then the subject shifted to her shirt and Holly shook her head in disapproval at Ellie's defense of it. Holly was convinced, and had always been convinced that when it came to fashion, her instincts were impeccable. It wasn't a talent either, it was a hard-earned skill she'd learned from watching her sister, who always corrected her every morning throughout middle school whenever she was about to wear something ill-fitting or unfashionable. It was one of the things that bonded them together and Holly intended to do the same for Ellie. She was about to insist when Ellie mentioned what her shirt was actually from.

"...Tokyo Goal?", she repeated, unknowingly butchering the name, because while Ellie had shared several shows with her already, Tokyo Ghoul was not one of them. "Okay, whatever, I get that you like the show but the print is all faded! It should at least look new. And it's also the wrong size, like, it's clearly a grown man's shirt, if you have to wear it at least you should let me cinch in the waist."

The bus finally stopped, thanks to one of the other passengers shouting at the driver, and Holly nodded in agreement when Ellie asked to hold her hand before the appointment. As much as she could be insistent about fashion related things, she wasn't always so pushy. She really wanted Ellie to feel as relaxed as possible. "Of course!", she added, immediately grabbing Ellie's hand and lacing their fingers together before they were even out of the bus. "I'm here for you. They're just doing a regular check up, right?" She never heard Ellie complain about her teeth so it was probably nothing serious, but she still understood the fear. She kind of felt the same way about doctor's appointments.

When they were out of the bus a few moments later, Holly held on to Ellie's hand as they entered the building together and approached the lady at the front desk. "Hiii!", Holly greeted the bored looking woman in a sing-songy voice. She wanted to keep her energy up, in hopes that Ellie would feel less worried. "How are you?" Her smile didn't falter, even when the receptionist failed to return the gesture and instead stared at her with a rather blank expression and gave both of them the most lackluster sounding: "Fine. How can I help you?"

"Ow, ow.. You hit like a puppy," but she was giggling and whenever she laughed too hard she would snort. All the noise was annoying the woman behind them. She had heard their conversation about sex parties and things far too indescribable when the lord was listening. The woman narrowed her eyes, grumbling incoherently about the lack of manner these days. "such pretty girls shouldn't behave that way, you'll be ruined." Ellie tried ignoring her at first, but there was nothing that peeved her off more than old people in her business. Her curls bounced as she whipped her head around, craning her neck eerily. The woman gasped, but she didn't stop there, letting her eyes roll into the back of her head. The woman pressed her back against the bus seat, clutching her umbrella in her trembling hands as Ellie starting to speak in tongues (it was pig-latin). this flustered the woman and she scrambled and moved seats, which just made Ellie laugh harder.

She hadn't expected the kiss, not now at least, and even though it was meant to be a quick and nonchalant thing she simmered down, quieting her laugh into a shy grin. "Huh?" she rubbed her cheek softly, Ellie looked down at her shirt. "What's wrong with it?" aside from the fact it was covered in cat hair and claw marks, a little bit of baby food that was forever fused with the fabrics of the shirt? "It's Tokyo Ghoul, it's awesome." It definitely belonged to some middle-aged man, but the tag color meant it was half off that week so steal. Still, even if she made fun of her nothing could take away the warmth she felt in her chest. She tried quieting it down, they would never work. it was by some twisted turn of fate they were friends, and everything else felt like some cruel joke. Why'd she have to get so close? And smell so good?

"I thought you said wear whatever I want, if you want me to be your date to this thing you should probably be a lot nicer to me right now." She was still going to do it. Even if the jacket Holly got her fit her just right (which she didn't like, always preferring her clothes hung off her body somehow like a mumu) she could be a bit of a pushover.

"Now, NOW-" someone shouted from behind, because it seemed like they were about to roll right past the stop. As the bus slightly slowed she gripped the seat , noticing the previous claw marks of people holding on for dear life. This driver always slammed on the breaks. "uhhh," she squeezed her eyes until they were still, opening them up and blinking at she settled on the world outside. People were getting up, ready to push each other and squeeze through the small doors, it was better if they took the exit on the butt of the bus. "You don't need to come in, but, can will you hold my hand before? Just.. it'll help."

[h0llyalexander]

i wanna make it unequivocally clear that there are no time limits when it comes to rping with me. idc if you're scrolling through your drafts and you find a thread of ours from two years ago+ and you wanna continue it... but you're afraid i'll be upset with you bc it's been so long...

babes, i am holding your face so gently when i say this: do the thing. i promise, the only thing i'mma be when i see that notif is excited

[h0llyalexander]

what's your muse's favorite weird food combo?

"Are you trying to say I eat weird things? Because I don't. I have good taste, actually."

[h0llyalexander]

what would your muse say is their biggest flaw?

"Excuse you?! Flaw? Have you seen me? I don't have flaws. I have like, bad hair days sometimes and that's it."

[h0llyalexander]

"Ew, Ellie! Gross!", Holly swatted at her when she suggested that it could be a cover for a surprise orgy, though she was definitely laughing. It definitely wasn't a sex thing. There were some members of the group that started dating, but that was normal for any group and as long as it didn't cause too much drama, it wasn't against the rules. Connecting with people was encouraged, whether that was romantic or platonic, so ultimately it was seen as a good thing.

Ellie pinched her cheek and Holly's first thought was that her foundation might get messed up, but she didn't stop her. She agreed to the party, that was worthy of some messy make up. "Yay! Okay perfect", she smiled, leaning in and pecking Ellie's cheek. Very fast, and very light, it was something she did often when she was pleased and didn't even think about.

"You just wear whatever you want", Holly told her, ignoring her conclusion that it must be an orgy after all. "Although we should probably meet up beforehand so I can pick your outfit. Because like...what is that shirt?", she pointed at Ellie's faded shirt, it didn't quite fit her and it looked like it was second hand. And not the good second hand, the vintage kind that she liked to go shopping for, but the kind that somebody just threw away. Everything else Ellie wore was pretty much fine, but as a fashion snob, Holly felt she had much better options to offer her.

Maybe it was also just an excuse to play dress up. She loved that, it was one of the reasons she owned way too many clothes. She still had plans to donate a big portion of them but every time she was about to sort out her whole closet, she would get distracted by mixing and matching old stuff with some of the new ones she'd bought. It was hopeless. "Why don't you wear that denim jacket you got last week?" Slight correction: Holly gifted it to her last week, but it looked so good on Ellie and she could think of at least ten different outfits of Ellie's that it would pair well with.

Realizing that their bus ride would be coming to an end soon, Holly glanced out the window and then back at Ellie. "How are you feeling? Still nervous? Don't worry, they're going to love your teeth." She wasn't great with pep talks sometimes. "Do you want me to sit in the waiting room or go in with you? I can come in, I don't mind."

Ellie didn’t know if Holly knew, but she could be pretty funny sometimes too. She was especially a good kind of funny, because she was never too mean or intentionally cruel when she poked fun at her. At least, nothing Ellie would take too seriously. She figured that’s why she liked spending so much time with her, even when it felt like they were sometimes worlds apart.

“You don’t hang out with freaks, huh?” Ellie gave her a sheepish smile, gesturing at herself. Not that she really considered herself a freak, but when it was what most people knew you as, more than your own name… she felt just a tad entitled to reclaim the word for her people.

But the people Holly was talking about made her uneasy. The weird ones with their pheromones and heirloom hummus...those people made Ellie twitchy. Was she being a bit protective? Maybe a bit obsessively control-freaky over her only friend? Maybeeee. But she told herself it came from the bottom of her heart, like that somehow made it okay.

"You're right, they're not freaks. they're something else entirely. Are you sure you wanna go to some weird party? What if it’s an orgy?”

But Holly was already pulling the ripcord on their Friday night horror movie marathon for a bunch of people Ellie didn’t even know. And she was already working up a full-body hatred. It was irrational. What, just because they smoked weed and ate dirt and probably imported fancy types of cheeses? She was starting to hate them already and she barely knew them.

“Fine,” she huffed, lifting her hand and pinching Holly’s cheek like an aggressive grandma. “We can cancel the really good, Academy Award-winning horror fest for some party.”

She looked down at their arms and wrapped hers around too, cozying up beside her. The bus rattled beneath them. She forgot to say thanks—for Holly riding the bus with her all the way to her dentist appointment. Ellie hated going alone. It was always kind of embarrassing, since insurance only covered it every few years. Plus, this time her mom had gotten special coupons, so she’d only be paying sixteen bucks out of pocket.

“Oh, so it is an orgy.”

As painful as it was hearing Holly rave about them—how intriguing they were, how awesomeeeee. Barf. Ellie still listened. Because Holly seemed excited. Because she cared. And because Ellie liked the sound of her voice.

"What am I supposed to wear to an orgy? I only have like 3 shirts.

[h0llyalexander]

IN-DEPTH HEADCANON QUESTIONS * collection #3

what's your muse's favorite holiday? how do they celebrate it?

how long has your muse lived in their current home/residence? do they plan on moving to something bigger, downsizing, or staying in the same place for a while?

what are your muse's biggest red flags when it comes to dating?

what's one thing your muse always gets asked about?

what would your muse say is their biggest flaw?

what's your muse's relationship like with their parents?

what's your muse's relationship like with their sibling/s?

what's your muse's relationship like with their aunts/uncles/cousins?

what's your muse's relationship like with their grandparents?

does your muse talk to themselves when they're alone? if so, how frequently and what about? if not, how else do they fill their alone time?

would your muse prefer to be freezing cold or really hot?

what's one movie your muse can quote front to back?

what tv show character does your muse relate to the most?

what kind of food does your muse get at the carnival or fair?

does your muse think fondly about the place where they were born, or do they dislike it? why?

how does your muse sit in a chair? what kind of chair do they prefer?

how would you describe your muse's interior design style?

what's the one piece of clothing your muse couldn't live without?

if your muse was trapped on a deserted island, what three items would they bring with them?

what television game show or reality competition show would your muse jump at the chance to play and/or win?

is your muse hiding something serious from those around them? why?

what's your muse's favorite weird food combo?

what's your muse's dream car/vehicle?

is your muse an online shopper, or do they prefer to go into a store to hold items/try on items first?

does your muse prefer to watch movies at home/in private, or in theaters? why?

does your muse have any funny nicknames their friends/family used to call them as a child?

if asked to visit a history museum, what section of the museum would your muse most be interested in?

[h0llyalexander]

@magicalswimmingsubmarine my reply to your post here (because the formatting was being crazy so i had to make a new post)

"Oh my God, they're not freaks", Holly giggled, playfully swatting Ellie's arm. "You are so funny sometimes. Do I look like I would hang out with a bunch of freaks? I have higher standards than that." She had never been super creative or artsy herself, but that was part of the reason she was attracted to this crowd in the first place. She was used to expensive things, glamour, to presenting herself and her life in a way that would invite envy from those who didn't have all the luxury she had. But this group...they were so not like that. They seemed to not care so much about material things, and it was competely new to her. And they seemed accepting. More accepting than her own family. Because all that wealth, all that status of being in a prestigious family, it also came with a lot of pressure and expectations. When Ellie mentioned their plans, Holly sighed a little. "That creepy movie? Oh, I mean...horror movie." She was not a fan, she always got freaked out and ended up hiding behind a pillow. But she had watched a few of them with Ellie, because she did like spending time with her. And Ellie made her feel seen.

"We can do that another time, right? This party is special, we're celebrating the first year anniversary since the group got together", she explained excitedly, hooking her arm around Ellie's while she was talking. "Oh my God Ellie, there are so many people I want you to meet! Like there's this woman, Nora, she set up the group basically, because she noticed how many people were getting lonely and having trouble fitting in and she wanted to create a safe place for people to connect. And there's also this guy Kyle, he used to be a tattoo artist, well I guess he still is but like, now he just gives free tattoos to anyone who asks! And like, I don't want any obviously, it's not good for the skin but some of his designs are gorgeous. There are a lot of artists in the group. One girl used to be a DJ. She used to give like, rave parties and stuff, but now she does more ecstatic dancing type music." Holly didn't even realize she'd been rambling for more than five minutes already, she just had so much to tell Ellie. "Anyway the point is that there's a special event tonight. And Nora told everyone to bring a friend, and you're like my best friend, so..." She looked Ellie in the eyes, a hopeful, slightly pushy smile spreading on her face as she squeezed her arm. "Pleaaase? I promise you we'll have so much fun. And I'll watch whatever scary movie you want to watch next time!"

[h0llyalexander]

The girl looked a bit surprised, which Holly had come to learn was a really good thing because usually when people were surprised or a little confused, they weren't thinking about asking too many questions. But even if she did ask questions, Holly was prepared. She had a whole story about how the orphanage was established in 1946, how there were multiple locations spread all over the country, housing, feeding and supporting over 6000 children. But the questions she was expecting never came. The girl simply took out her wallet and offered her a spare twenty, no questions asked.

"Oh, thank you miss! Any bit is appreciated", she smiled. "I wish more people were as generous as you!" Without hesitation, she plucked the $20 bill from the girl's hand and slipped it into her donation box. Of course she wasn't done. If the girl was giving away money so easily, she might have a lot more of it and Holly was going to find out. She seemed kind of young, but maybe she had a big allowance. Maybe she had rich parents. How ironic... "It truly means a lot. With this money, Saint Mary's orphanage is able to feed two children for a whole week! Can you believe that? If we all pitch in, we can really make a difference. That's why we're looking for people who wish to support the orphanage on a long term basis. Would you by any chance be interested in signing up for a montly donation plan?"

Open to female muses | Holly’s parents cut off her allowance and she has zero skills so she came up with a new easy way to make money: scamming people. Your muse is one of her unsuspecting targets. Or maybe she does suspect something…

“Excuse me, miss, do you have a moment? I’m collecting donations for Saint Mary’s orphanage.” Holly put on her best and brightest smile as she approached the woman sitting on the park bench, drinking coffee. The woman looked like she wasn’t in a hurry, and Holly figured she had at least a 50% chance she could convince her to hand over some of her hardearned money. Money that would definitely come in handy, now that her parents had stopped paying her for sitting on her ass and doing nothing. After her third D- this semester, they finally decided to put their threats into action and punish her low grades with financial deprivation. A bit of an overreaction, in her opinion, it wasn’t like they were strapped for cash. But her father insisted. So here she was, looking for ways to get money out of unsuspecting strangers. She couldn’t get a job. She wasn’t qualified, and she was not flipping burgers or sweeping floors. Not after a life of luxury. This seemed like the easiest way to make a quick buck.

[h0llyalexander]

"Totally", Holly nodded when Mina assured her that there was always something fun to do on a saturday night. Nevermind the fact that for the past few saturday nights, all she had been doing was just sitting by her computer, trying to think of what to say whenever Mina would come online. That, and trying on several outfits for their first meeting. Because even though it wasn't romantic, she still wanted to look good.

"I can't wait to see you dance", she chuckled, because during their chats they had talked about the fact that neither one of them knew how to shuffle. Holly was not a big dancer anyway but when she tried to practice the move, it just felt ridiculous. But...she still wanted them to dance together. "Maybe we can do a dance battle. I've been practising, so I'm not an easy target anymore. Oh and...I almost forgot, but..."

She paused, hesitating for a moment before she took something out of her pocket. It was a small gift, something she already bought weeks ago for Mina, even though she wasn't sure back then whether they would ever meet. She didn't even know if it was still appropriate to give it to her. But it was just a small thing, so it should be fine, right? "It's a keychain", she revealed as she handed over the carefully wrapped gift. "It has two little pom-poms. You know, because you're a cheerleader?" She chuckled, but it was a bit more nervous laughter now because as she said that out loud it was starting to sound stupid.

　　　❝ i-. right okay. ❞ she had a bit of an urge to side eye the other woman at how quick she was to agree. but, mina brushes it off. if she thinks a little too hard about it, it'll be obvious that mina herself was majorly deflecting. and if there's one thing she hates to do it's try to dig too much into that. no. it's locked away safely in the corner of her mind only to creep out when she's had a few too many drinks or stays up past three in the morning, thank you very much.

❝ just friends then, yeah. you seem cool and all. ❞ and very much like how the boy she thought her boyfriend was. . . which makes sense considering holly is actually him. but it doesn't help to untangle the confusion in her head or chest. ❝ right, right the party thing. ❞ mina mumbles, trailing off as she trails a nail in circles on the table. would spending time together before she's had time to unpack everything be a good idea? no. and yet. . . ❝ that sounds fun. i can find something. you know there's always something going on on a saturday night, ❞ she laughs softly and lets her gaze go back to holly.

[h0llyalexander]

"Of course!", Holly cut Mina off before she could even fully finish her sentence, a nervous giggle quickly following her statement. "Oh my God, me either! Like, I guess I see why you would think that but really I'm not, it was just like...well it started as a prank kind of thing, but it just got out of hand. And then I realized you are actually really cool and we could be friends. That's all! So like...yeah, don't worry, we can just be friends." Even though she was laughing, she felt a bit sour saying this. Because even though she wasn't gay, maybe there was some small part of her that had been hoping for more.

But at the same time, she realized that this was kind of her own fault. She couldn't really be mad at Mina for this. And she really did care about her. So maybe they could be friends, after all. She just didn't want to lose Mina from her life, so she was already relieved that she was open to still keeping in contact. "So, anyway, um...the last time we talked online...we talked about going to that party together...do you still want to go?" They talked about doing so much stuff together—going to the movies, going swimming, going bowling. But they also planned to go to a party together, and Holly had been looking forward to that the most. Because if there was anything that would help smooth over this whole awkward situation, it would be booze and fun party music.

　　　❝ right, so you just lied about half of everything i know about you. . . ❞ mina's tone isn't accusatory, not really, more dry than anything else. she had half been expecting something to be wrong with jacob. it's just that she'd been expecting it to be something that she could either look past or use to finally get over him - her. her mind reminds her of the fact as she eyes jacob holly for a few more seconds quietly.

the brunette tries to ignore the warmth growing in her chest at the thought that maybe holly did care enough about her to set this whole meeting up at the place she'd only mentioned in passing but loved to go to. lips roll in tightly as she takes a breath in through her nose. ❝ look j- holly. you're . . . you seem sweet. and we can be friends ?? i guess but i'm. um. you know. ❞ her voice lowers a bit, as if the lie ties her tongue up too much to be able to say it at full volume. ❝ i'm not gay - or- or whatever. it's cool that you are, i'm not judging. but i just figured i should put that out there. ❞

[h0llyalexander]

Holly couldn't exactly blame Arna for freaking out. This entire situation felt like a surreal nightmare to her, and she was the one who decided to do this. She couldn't even imagine how Arna must be feeling. But there wasn't a lot of time to think about it. They- she needed to get rid of the body. Much to her surprise, Arna was offering to help. She didn't say it in those words, but it was kind of implied in her question and that made Holly feel even more guilty. She never wanted to involve Arna in the cleanup process...God, it was so morbid. Why did she think she was gonna do this and be able to wrap it up all neat and tidy? She completely underestimated this whole thing.

But she was not completely unprepared. She had brought several trashbags and borrowed a circlesaw from the community shed, under a fake name. Just in case. She’d also brought gloves, although she completely forgot to use them and they were kind of useless anyway, because before everything went down she'd touched Silas' face and his hands a few times. It didn't go much farther than that. She took her top, but it was only to distract him, a way to get his attention off of the knife she plunged into his chest as soon as he was within reach. It was probably the messiest way she could have done things. She anticipated that there would be blood so she had also brought a spare change of clothes.

"Okay, it's okay, we're okay...", she heaved a little bit, trying to calm herself down now. Because she knew what needed to be done. She turned around, entering the elegant open kitchen area and washing her hands in the sink. She tied her hair back, tears brimming just behind her eyes as she dug through the duffel bag she'd brought and finally put on her gloves. She grabbed the trash bags, quickly spreading several of them across the floor. *A little fucking late for that, but whatever.* At least the blood had stopped spreading. But the worst part was not done. Arna arrived just after Silas passed, she hadn't had the chance yet to properly cut him up. Oh. Oh no. Holly could feel her stomach turn, sour bile rising in the back of her throat and threatening to spill at the thought of carving up Silas' body. So disgusting... She should have just given him pills. Why, why hadn't she just given him pills so he could pass out? But there would still be a body. And there was no way she could carry it all by herself, and...she stopped.

Still holding a trash bag in her hand, she turned to look at Arna. Maybe...maybe she didn't have to cut him up. If it was the two of them, they could probably carry him out of here. Into the woods. They could bury him there. Not that he deserved it. But it would be a lot less gruesome. She closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath, before she opened them again and looked Arna in the eyes. "I didn't wanna ask you this...", she started, struggling to even come up with the right words. "But I don't wanna use the saw on him. I don't wanna use the saw at all." She was not some fucking butcher who got off on this shit. Even if she hated him, she wasn't that twisted. She just wanted his body to be out of the picture, somewhere in the forest, away from their lives. "I only brought it because I can't carry him alone...but..." She trailed off, not quite daring to ask the question that was really on her mind.

There was relief somewhere deep deep in her, but it was currently more than overshadowed by the shock and panic of being faced with a literal crime scene. Seeing the apartment she'd spend years of her life in turned into a bloodbath, though it had often felt like a cage, seemed to be bit too much for the blonde. It would be a lie if she said she'd never thought of hurting him, and she'd had ample reason to do so throughout their marriage, though she'd never had it in her to actually follow through. She'd been too terrified, too complaisant to actually follow through.

The neighbours... wouldn't do anything. The neighbours were used to the banging, screaming, and smashing that came from their apartment at all hours of the day and night. They'd called the police a couple of times in the beginning, but Silas had always had a charm to him that meant he could easily weasel his way out of most anything. After a while, not even the sight of Arna's bruised face would get a reaction from the building's residents. Maybe they were afraid of him too, but he'd convinced her they'd known all along she deserved it and if she deserved it, why would they interfere.

She didn't have to look at him, but she also couldn't help herself. Wide eyed and flushed with the heat of panic, Arna just sat there and stared at his mangled body trying desperately to make sense of the odd shape of him, the pallid colour of his skin, the angle at which his left wrist had folded under the weight of his hip. She could see the tips of his fingers turning blue, her hand flying up to cover her mouth as another wave of nausea washed over her. Having rid herself of her coat and jumper in a desperate attempt to stop feeling like she was suffocating, she was left shivering in a barely there slip of a tank top, her flesh speckled with goosebumps scattered like stars amidst the cloud formations of bruising and grazes.

"Am I..." Finally her gaze shifted towards Holly. "Oh... yeah... I'm fucking freaking out Holly! What... How... You..." There was no words. Or there was too many words and they refused to organised themselves into a sentence as she scraped backwards across the floor, using her body weight to slam the front door shut, her foot shoving the sweater she'd been wearing into a puddle of blood as she did so. "Fuck..." They would have to get rid of him. They'd have to leave before anyone found out. Before the police found out! "Holly... What are we going to do?" Arna was on the verge of crying, fingertips pressing into her own forearms as she tried to get her shit together. "We're... this is... this is a crime... we're criminals!" She hadn't been the one to do it, but not even for a second did she consider a version of the future where they wouldn't have to face the consequences together. Suppose that was what love was, in a twisted, fucked up way.

[h0llyalexander]

Make a assumption about my muse and see how they react! Anything goes!

[h0llyalexander]

@markedbytheuniverse my reply to this because the reblog got all messy.

It wasn't quite the response Holly had been hoping for. She had been hoping that Arna would be more relieved, but she just seemed scared. Was it the blood? Oh God, it was the blood, she should have done this in a less violent way. But Arna was never supposed to find out like this. Holly's plan had been to clean everything up before Arna would ever come home and then tell her later. She didn't want to confront her with this bloody mess. It was horrible. If it weren't for the fact that she hated this man so much, she would have felt even sicker looking at his remains.

All throughout the murder, Holly had just repeated to herself, over and over again, that he hurt Arna. Like really hurt her. Put bruises on her. He was the kind of man who would never get better, the kind who was going to either end up in prison or take Arna's life one day. He had to die. Again and again, she repeated that to herself and now he was on the floor, covered in a pool of crimson.

Arna yelled at her again and Holly panicked a little. "Shhh! Shhh!", she shushed her again, holding her finger to her own lips and wildly gesturing towards the window. She spoke in a hushed, frantic tone: "Arna, please! The neighbors!" She felt guilty, looking at Arna's terrified face, she truly did. This was so not how she wanted things to go. But it would be a disaster if the neighbors were to come over, she was covered in blood! She had no way of explaining all of this.

"Please, just...just sit down, okay? Just let me clean up, you don't even have to look at him. I didn't want you to have to see him. God..." She grimaced, her gaze briefly flicking over to the corpse on the floor. Even now, she felt a flicked of anger looking at him. He was dead, there was no more chance for him to hurt anyone but her hatred for him ran so deep that it surpassed even death. She turned back to Arna, stepping closer, but then halting in her tracks when she realized how much blood was still on her hands. She didn't want to get any of this on her. She had to wash them. Wash this whole room, get rid of his body.

But she was still worried that Arna was going to freak out and run away. That could also be a disaster. "Why does your face look like that? Are you freaking out? Tell me you're not freaking out right now because like, I really need to clean up this mess and I promise everything is going to be okay but you can't freak out on me right now Arna, please", she was rambling, mostly because she herself was starting to freak out a little bit now. This whole thing went so different than she had planned it in her head.