haileesmith69-blog

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Hailees Daily Dose

It’s been a few days. Moving forward.  I’m a woman, mother, survivor and warrior. I have fought for everything I am in this life.  Each of you are the same in your own lives. What do we do with these things? The best we can.  Most days, I do ok. I have my down days. However, I put my best face on every day possible and kick this crazy worlds ass. We only get one life, gotta do our best every day. No matter what the odds are or if they are for or against us. Each of us are unique and beautiful in so many ways. Usually we don’t recognize all that we carry inside. Including our strengths and weaknesses that complete us.  Personally, I am very hard on myself. I never seem to be quite enough. I acknowledge that I have no fear. I’m​ outspoken. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I’m soft hearted, kind and empathetic. I have a hard time letting people in my inner circle. I also fight some real battles internally but I am what I am. I’m good with that. I do the best I can with what I am made of every day.  Really, that’s all we can do. So my message today is this:.  Remember how important you are. Pat yourself on the back for all that you are. Not what you aren’t. Learn from your mistakes. Be kind to others. You don’t want to fight their battles. Don’t be judgemental, you could be in their shoes. Be grateful for all you have in this life. Live everyday like there’s no tomorrow. Last but not least, love others. Love yourself. We only get 1 of US as well as only 1 life. Step out of the damn box. Come in sliding sideways and laugh until you cry. Do these things because at the end of the day, we are still who we are. Magnificent, amazing, beautiful creatures who live on the most awesome planet in the universe. We are Super Heros battling wars, surviving negative and always searching for positive.  Get out there and be the best YOU – you can be because the world needs you as much as you need it.  More love. Less hate.  H

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Love this!

Completely understand

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Hailees Daily Dose

The old saying behind every dark cloud is the sun, or our darkest hours always come before the light are there to help us remember there’s always hope. Some days I call bullshit on all of the above. I know I am not alone however that should be a sign to each of us to slow down and breathe. 

We’ve all had our share of bullshit in this life. Some of us more than others. Some seem to outwardly appear that they’ve never experienced anything adverse. No matter which end of the spectrum you fit in, adversity is a necessary evil in our lives. 

Imagine your version of a perfect world then, imagine yourself in someone else’s version of a perfect world. If we were living someone else’s dream quite frankly, it would suck. I want to be the author of my own story. I want to decide how it’s told and how it will end. I’m sure my version is an extremely different scene than the picture in your head. I have repeatedly said that I am grateful for my own crappy life because it could always be someone else’s. I will stand by that until I can no longer breathe.

When life starts caving in around you, remember, it’s ok to be upset and frustrated. It’s ok to be angry and hurt. We have to work through our emotions and issues to help us problem solve. The important part is not getting so far down that we get lost. Anyone who says they’ve never been to that place is a damn liar.

Pride can and will hold you​ down if you let it. We are all so different. Some people have a hard time admitting they are human, vulnerable and need help. I am very guilty of that very thing others, not so much. It’s hard to remember that we impact other people’s lives when we humble ourselves and reach out. There’s a hundred things I could go on about here, but you get the point.

Accept the negative, look for the positive and do something with it. See the world in color. Make your life your own story. Be your own hero. 

At the end of the day, it is what it is, and it’s what we’ve done to find the light in our own crappy life because it could always be someone else’s.  

More love. Less hate.  H

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Hailees Daily Dose

Thoughts for today. I'm going off my story tonight but have other words burning inside. My God, my higher power, how far does rock bottom ​go?! I'm screaming out. Please answer​ me. My world has been shattered. These are the words that won't stop eating at me.  We live in such a beautiful world. Surrounded by beautiful places and people. I live on the belief in the good and in hope and change yet everything fights me harder the more I try. People are generally good as a whole, the same yet so different.  Then there's the few...the few so filled with hate, anger and greed they will destroy another's total being without one thought. No regret. No remorse. Pure evil as we know it. These are empty, cold bodies that enjoy feeding off of fear and hate. How sad this is to me.  I'm reminded of the words in the song "Suffocated" by Daybreak Embrace "I'd hold my breath forever to suffocate the pain I hold Inside"  "led by the lies-hate has become what we stand for." Truer words have not been spoken. That is indeed what we are surrounded by at times. I've been known to say we have become little more than monsters. It's true and it's time it stops.  I know we need trials and adversity to grow, but there is so much destruction by a small group of people. Why?! I'm not capable of being that way. I don't understand how people can live inside of themselves.  Today, my whole world changed in an instant at the hands of another once again. I don't know why I continue on this path, but I refuse to give in to the ugly.  Life is beautiful. People are generally good. I will keep holding onto the hope that we will find more of what we have lost in this world. More love. Less hate. H

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Hailees Daily Dose

Sitting here this morning, it occurred to me that I needed to say thank you alot more than I do to my higher power. If I look at myself realistically, I can be very ungrateful. After all, I have a roof over my head, food on the table and my children never go without anything and are in good health. Wow. What more could you honestly ask for?  I found that I am pretty selfish.  I always want better. Everyone does. I am utterly, completely human. 100 mistakes a day and all that  comes with that. It’s who I am.  My intentions are good but maybe I shouldn’t ask for so much. In my self search today, I realized that it could be the way I am looking at things…. I am more grateful than I sound and have alot more to be grateful for than I outwardly speak. Make sense?  Every morning I get up, I get the privilege of listening to the world wake up. I get the privilege of seeing the sun rise. I am especially blessed with the privilege of being a mother. My kids, who each had the world against them, were placed in my care and I have provided for them with so little struggle compared to some… I wake up in a home and place without war, with heat, water and electricity. Free to  speak and be heard. I can do what I want, when I want. I’m free of so many things that so many women live through every damn day.  This may seem redundant in ways but sometimes we have to go back to the basics to see what’s really going on right in front of us. It’s easy to get caught up in things. Wanting better for ourselves or our children isn’t a bad thing but just as there are positives to every negative, perhaps we should stop looking so hard for something better if our basic needs are being met.  Anything of value is worth working for so, if we focus on doing the maximum we can with minimal resources, we most certainly would be enlightened to just how much we have. We may be able to recognize how much we take advantage of things and become our own creators of our own incredible, beautiful lives regardless of the amount of money we make, where we reside or what social status we fit into.  Life is an incredible journey. It’s full of many things. Ups, downs, things we don’t understand but I want my story to told in such a way, that I never got so greedy and ungrateful, that I didn’t recognize just what I did have. I want my story to be a wonderful adventure, a fairytale and love story. It’s time this girl step back and read the rough draft of her journey. Honestly, I already have what I need.  More love. Less hate.   H

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The old saying behind every dark cloud is the sun, or our darkest hours always come before the light are there to help us remember there’s always hope. Some days I call bullshit on all of the above. I know I am not alone however that should be a sign to each of us to slow down and breathe.  We’ve all had our share of bullshit in this life. Some of us more than others. Some seem to outwardly appear that they’ve never experienced anything adverse. No matter which end of the spectrum you fit in, adversity is a necessary evil in our lives.  Imagine your version of a perfect world then, imagine yourself in someone else’s version of a perfect world. If we were living someone else’s dream quite frankly, it would suck. I want to be the author of my own story. I want to decide how it’s told and how it will end. I’m sure my version is an extremely different scene than the picture in your head. I have repeatedly said that I am grateful for my own crappy life because it could always be someone else’s. I will stand by that until I can no longer breathe. When life starts caving in around you, remember, it’s ok to be upset and frustrated. It’s ok to be angry and hurt. We have to work through our emotions and issues to help us problem solve. The important part is not getting so far down that we get lost. Anyone who says they’ve never been to that place is a damn liar. Pride can and will hold you​ down if you let it. We are all so different. Some people have a hard time admitting they are human, vulnerable and need help. I am very guilty of that very thing others, not so much. It’s hard to remember that we impact other people’s lives when we humble ourselves and reach out. There’s a hundred things I could go on about here, but you get the point. Accept the negative, look for the positive and do something with it. See the world in color. Make your life your own story. Be your own hero.  At the end of the day, it is what it is, and it’s what we’ve done to find the light in our own crappy life because it could always be someone else’s.   More love. Less hate.  H

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Hailees Daily Dose

Thinking about the universe and all of the endless possibilities we have right before our very eyes. What remarkable, huge, vast experiences​ out there we each have waiting for us to reach out and grasp hold of and live. It's a truly mind blowing thought. For me anyway. We are each aware of the things meant for us but what do we do about it? A few of us actually see our paths clearly and jump right in going after the whole package. Many see what our paths are, but stick to whatever is " safe" in our lives. A few of us see our paths and work halftime to get where we want then quit when the terrain starts getting steep. Most of us are well, dreamers. Procrastinators all the way around of sorts. Then there's me. I can actually admit that I have been all of the above. What the hell happened with me? I am most definitely unique and have gone on all of my own paths, in mostly uncharted territory, every unbeaten path I could find. Still do, with not one regret. I guess in an odd sense, somewhere in my mind I just want to be immortal. Immortal by the definition according to Sigmund Freud. Freuds definition of immortality was: Being loved by many anonymous people.   My entire life all I have ever wanted to do was a make my mark on this world by making a small difference in this beautiful, chaotic, sometimes shitty life we live in. I've tried to do this by being good to people. Being empathetic. Standing up for the underdog. Being a voice. Giving my time and love to others. I've tried to make others see their worth, importance and beauty.  I realize now, that I have spent a lifetime doing this because I never had those things in my life. I hate to see people feeling exactly those ways.  Earlier this year, I was really struggling. I decided to do a project to try to help myself understand my own value and wanted other women to do the same. It was a thirty day project and in the end, had over 200 people participating in it. It was a very spiritual, self realization journey for me personally. At the end of the project, I realized that indeed, I was wanting to be immortal by Freuds definition.  In the search of finding myself, it occurred to me that as messed up as my life had been, I had already been living immortally. All of the thanks, the hugs, the grateful tears, the surprised smiles, seeing people, beautiful, amazing people, with incredible stories, at their very worst being so humble and grateful for such small acts of kindness from a big fat nobody. Me.  I have seen the chain reaction my acts have caused. I have seen or spoken to a person once, one time and had 100 I love you sentences in return for payment. I am indeed a very wealthy, immortal person who just recently realized that I have been looking for something that's been right in front of me my whole life.  I'm not trying to sound arrogant nor trying to brag. My point behind all of these words? We only get one life. Live it, love it, don't sit idle without doing your part and last but not least, love yourself enough that you aren't searching for the amazing person you want to be that's right there - Inside of yourself.  Grab life by the balls and be your beautiful, unique self. Do everything that you are afraid of. Love people for everything they are. Not what they aren't. Especially you. You are perfectly imperfect. You are worth it. You are loved. In fact, YOU ARE FUCKING IMMORTAL. ❤️ More love. Less hate.  H 

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Hailees Daily Dose

I am a few days behind. I got very sick and had some deaths in my family. Trying to get back on track. The things that have been going on in my life have been quite a reality check. I'm a big preacher of of acceptance of all people. I am guilty of not being able to do that very thing. My father just died. I had very mixed emotions about that. He was a good man to many but not his family. To some of us, he was little more than a destructive, hateful monster. I repeatedly tried and forgave him over the years. When my mother died, I tried again. He chose to cut his daughters off and marry my mother's niece. He had been her uncle for 40 years.... I couldn't accept that for many reasons. The biggest reason being my children. I won't go into alot of detail but after marrying her he became a total stranger. In his death he was an even crueler human being than when he was alive. He has torn any shred of decency, empathy or feeling I still had for the man. Many times I wished he didn't exist, but then the day came. I cried. I couldn't understand why I would still care for such a hateful man but he was my father. At 48 years old, I found myself crying because I couldn't understand why I still wanted his approval. I cried because he didn't protect me. I cried because I wanted a father even after all the years of abuse. Even in his death, he couldn't be a decent human being and acknowledge his own children. What a sorry excuse for a father. There only 2 things I am grateful for. 1- was the life he and my mother created. My life. 2- The day he found me left for dead and rushed me to the hospital saving my life by only minutes. Those 2 things sometimes have been more of a curse than a blessing but I have perseviered and had many beautiful experiences in this life. I have always stated that I wouldn't change a thing and I've lived through some shit. However, tonight I am recanting that statement. If I could change anything in my life, it would be the past 5 days. I would change the way I have treated myself. I would give myself some credit for being the amazing, beautiful person I have become regardless of the journey I have had. I would allow myself to hold that grudge and hate against a man who was little more than a monster in my life. I would not have given in to his one last terrible play on my heart and very being. I try to see the good in all things and all people. I always believe in change, hope and love. The truth of the matter is, no matter what good I do in this world no matter how hard I fight for change and advocate for others, I will always be a hypocrite of sorts thanks to the monster that lived under my bed and is forever stuck in my head. This is as real as it gets. Keeping it real folks. Yet I still have faith and believe. More love. Less hate. H

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Hailees Daily Dose

Everytime I think things are calmed down and in order, life throws a high fast pitch   that blows me away. The past few days have been chaotic as hell. Just a couple of months ago​, I thought we were may be on the way to some form of normalcy. That was wishful thinking. "What is normal?" For my family "normal" is a constant chaos at every level. I can handle some of it to some degree, but even our business life has turned into being a personal mound of unnecessary bullshit. There's no room to breathe.  I am a big preacher of my belief in Karma and finding the positive in every negative. I'm ​a big talker of life is a beautiful thing...The truth is there's a whole bunch of everything opposite I believe in, going on in my life. I'm about to sound like a total hypocrite,but I'm also a big believer in keeping it real and this is as real as it can get. A couple of weeks​ ago, my biggest battle was what to have for dinner. A week and a half ago, my big battle was getting paperwork together for something that has been repeatedly done.Irritating, but not life ending. One week ago, my big battle was all my internal bullshit I constantly battle mixed with a series of little things that became larger problems than necessary. Three days ago, life started spiraling out of control at speeds a normal person can't imagine. My temporary " normal" was short lived. The 5 year business battle is once again going full force, no hulls barred nothing is excluded, everything is open season, a walking target...Even the kids are at risk. I triggered so bad the other day, I thought I was going to die. I physically couldn't even move. Living with anxiety, depression and PTSD are already an adventure all of their own without adding any extra stress. Throw in a child who is an addict and can't stay clean or out of jail, an ex husband who is a narcissistic psycho that is playing every card to keep me under his thumb along with the eight children I have and you get a crazy mess. I am a good person. I am the best person I know how to be, yet it's just never enough for the world I live in. I have been making changes to better things, but I always seem to be the one who gets the joker in the deck.  Today I asked this question: "Does it look like I have a sign on my forehead saying go head and f*** me over? Seriously?!" One of my friends responded : " if you feel like you are wearing that sign, then I would say you probably are. If you want something different, change the sign." That was my reality check for today. You know what? He was right. I put alot of thought into the matter and it was oh so true. I need to send out the signal that I want to receive, not a signal saying go head and screw me over. I tried to change the pattern for today. It was too far gone. Tomorrow however, is a new day. The kind of day I will grasp and lead it by the horns. I need to quit letting other things, events and people dictate my happiness. I'm the one losing out. Not them.  Beginning tomorrow, I will regain control of things at all cost and I will continue being the​ one who calls the shots in my life. Time to put on my superhero attitude and kick some ass.  ❤️

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Hailees Daily Dose

Yesterday was the most perfect day I have had in a long time. I went shopping for a couple of new outfits and accessories because it was my birthday and I could. :) I ordered a Marzipan Cake. Very expressive but that's my once a year special treat. We had a barbeque for dinner and while I watched a movie, the kids taught themselves how to play poker. Lol As I sat and watched, it was a breathtaking moment. Sound odd? Maybe, but it really was. There sat 6 of my 8 children. The 2 youngest just observing...For just a few minutes, there was no arguing, no nit picking just a bunch of kids (My Kids!) learning and playing a game together.  This was a significant moment for me because I could see their happy faces and hear their laughs. I saw them working together to problem solve. The best thing I saw was my crazy little wild bunch enjoying each others company. For that moment, my heart melted. I could see that they do indeed love each other and would take care of each other if they needed to. That's a very comforting thought. The things that make me smile... I could have every physical thing in this life and I would trade it all for moments like these. The quiet consulting and debating, the giggles and sarcasm rolling off of small tongues.The roar of laughter when they each discover that they knew the answer to their own questions or held the winning hand...  This is as close to Heaven as it gets. ❤️ It's the little things we take for granted. 

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Hailees Daily Dose

I try to be a lover of life and people. I keep telling myself that the good outweigh the evil in this journey we travel. There are things that I don't understand and probably never will however, I continue to keep searching for all of the questions unanswered. I believe in a higher power. God. I think that we are arrogant to believe we ( the humans)  are the only race that lives. There must be others. In all of this, I also believe that our higher power knows what we need to grow and I appreciate that but I don't understand the heartbreak and pain that we must endure.  What's the point in that part of that therory ? I have suffered so much loss in my life. What haven't I got yet ?! What more could there possibly be?  I have watched people suffer through painful, life ending disease. I have witnessed people live in disease ridden bodies for years. Every day, is a blessing, yet painful reminder of the challenges they personally face....Why would such a loving caring higher power do this to us?  Why do some of us live in such hell on Earth? I have been pushed to every limit and I still get back up. I have had another try to take my very life who also took my child's life. I have been beaten to the point I had to be identified. I've lived a life that is full of hate, torture, resentment, abuse. I still stand back up. I start again. I've lost everything I have worked for. I spend alot of time serving others. When I really needed someone to save me. I've saved others so many times at so many different levels. I fought wars that weren't mine. I have been tested beyond what most can't even imagine. Yet, I've worn a smile on my face when I couldn't stand the thought. I've lived when I truly wanted to die. What things couldn't I have learned?! Are you hearing me? My higher power. Do you hear me?! What more can I do to prove myself​ worthy to live a peaceful, happy life? I will continue to see the good. The hope. The love. I serve others no questions asked because I know what it's like to be in their shoes. I do so willingly because I've always wondered what it would be like to have someone by my side during my trials. During my life I have been made to feel like I am not worth the space I take up just by existing. When will I be worthy of being a person that someone will love and support me just the way ​I am? When do I get be the one that is all another sees and loves unconditionally? When?! There is only one entity that can answer these questions. Are you listening? Are you there?

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Hailees Daily Dose

I’ve spent hours already today trying to say the right words to express all that is on my mind. I’m just going to put it down as it comes out… I’m really struggling saying goodbye to a friend who had no idea how much she meant to me. She was one of my heroes and one of my biggest supporters personally. She encouraged me to be that one voice and to fight relentlessly for the things I believed in. There has been 1 only other person in my life that could compare. I don’t write or speak of him often because it’s easier not to, but today I am going there. These are words that are long over due… August 1 of this year, we would have been together for 30 years. You left suddenly one day 7 years ago. My life hasn’t been the same since. In some ways, it’s been much better but other ways, I will never heal. The first time I saw you, you almost wrecked your car staring at me… I remember it like it was yesterday. You had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I miss looking into them. You were everything I ever wanted. Everything I needed. Then you became a monster. You hurt me every way imaginable. You held me captive physically and emotionally. You almost destroyed me. I loved you anyway. A few years after our falling out, I still wanted and needed only you. We tried again.The second time around things were different. There were parts of you I hated but I couldn’t walk away. I stayed. I held on. I believed in you.  Our family came along. You were an amazing father and husband for a short while. Your health started being a problem. The corrections made you worse. You began your self destructive ways leaving me alone to raise our children while you took pills and drank your life away alone in a room. I hated the person you became. An empty body living on addiction throwing your life away.  One day, you stopped. You fucking left me alone to raise our children. You left me in a financial mess with nothing. You left me alone to find out about your daughter you told me didn’t exist. You left me alone to face your drug dealer. You fucking left me like this yet I loved you.  Even in all of the bullshit you loved me. You looked at me like I was the only woman in the world. You loved me regardless of my faults and flaws. The least you could have done was loved me enough to let me live in peace after you left. You didn’t. The last words I said to you weren’t I love you. They were angry words. I hurt all of the time….You could have hugged me and said goodbye but you didn’t. You popped some more pills and drank your alcohol. You went Into that room and never came out. I hate you for that. I couldn’t save you. You couldn’t stop. What a mess.  I’ve lived for 7 years without you. As miserable as things were, I wish you could see our beautiful children. I wish you could see the great men our sons have become and the beautiful,  amazing young ladies we have. I wish for many things but the thing I wish for the most, would be for you to let your children know that you loved them more than your addictions.  Our children don’t know that you loved them. They barely remember you but the memories they do have aren’t pretty. They are memories of of a father who drank himself away in a room separated from our lives. How dare you do that to them. To me. You didn’t even say goodbye. I loved you anyway. I still do. I miss the way you looked at me. I miss football Sundays. I miss it all – yet I hate you still.  I wish your last days would have ended different than they did. I’m finally at peace knowing you aren’t suffering anymore. I’m at peace knowing you can’t destroy yourself anymore…The least you could have done was say goodbye. 

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Hailees Daily Dose

As I sat in thought this morning​ I was drawn back to the days of living in Honolulu. It was an amazing life. The warm breezy air lightly touching your face, the soft sand where the ocean meets your feet and the sun casting its beautiful rays across the entire scene. I long for those carefree days again. 

Life was such a simple amazing time during that period in my life.

I would spend hours just gazing at the beauty around me and soaked in the peace my heart and soul felt. That is where my heart will always be. One day, I will return there hopefully with someone who loves me and spend the end of my days enjoying those same things.

Don’t get me wrong.I can’t complain about the life I have..It is truly amazing. I have eight wonderful kids that give me so much more than I could ever do for them, I have lived a life that’s so much better than some people.. Some people dream of having my life. I get that. What I don’t have is the peacefulness inside of myself that we all long for. 

I say these things knowing all too well that if I want change, I have to make it for myself. It’s my belief, that we each get caught up in wishing for certain things that can’t happen unless we grab life by the balls and go for it. When we decide to take that step, we have to go balls to the wall 24/7. It’s a big project if you’re looking at it from the outside in..But, like anything else, where there’s a will there’s a way. 

Don’t under estimate yourself. Quit finding reasons that something can’t happen. Find reasons and ways to make those things happen. You are in charge of these things. Go for it! We only live once.  JUST DO IT!

If we don’t take risks, put ourselves out there, we never grow. It’s all too easy doing the comfortable, predictable things. Step out of the damn box and start living. Time is counting down.  :)

Get out of the zone and make your dreams happen. Life is a beautiful amazing gift. Don’t waste any more.  ❤️

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Trump/GOP Sinking Like The Titanic

If there ever was a movie that epitomized the two political parties in the United States of America, it is the 1997 movie, Titanic. Leonardo DiCaprio plays a young, talented artist who wins a ticket on the greatest ship in the world. DiCaprio represents the Democratic Party. He is compassionate, motivated and tries to do the right thing for friends and strangers. Billy Zane’s character represents the Republican Party. He is a rich, spoiled, condescending white male who has no empathy for anyone who is not a millionaire.

On Friday, March 24th, it was the first day of the GOP sinking or to use the movie term. Their ship has been hit by an iceberg. That iceberg is the failure to repeal and replace Obama Care. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan said in a press conference, “There is a big difference going from the opposition party to the governing party” Think about that statement. The GOP’s leader, for 8 years, admitted they were not for the people, they were the OPPOSITION PARTY. 

When the Russian’s stole the election for Donald Trump, Ryan had a press conference and said, “Welcome to the united GOP.” They were so united, they couldn’t even get their health care bill. Something they wanted to 8 years. If Obama Care fails it will be because of The GOP sabotaging it. Marco Rubio implemented a law that was released right before the election to raise the premiums. These “Risk Corridors” were intended to help insurance companies if they take on too many sick people.” So, the GOP leadership strategically planned to have insurance rates to go up in October so it can help them get their candidate elected.

The GOP are being loyal to a man, Trump, who has a 37% approval rating, and it is only going to get worse. Let us look at the 4 campaign promises that Trump and the GOP have not delivered on

Trump said he will replace and repeal Obama Care almost from day 1 = Failure.

Trump said he had a secret plan to defeat ISIS in 30 days= Failure.

Trump’s Muslim ban part I and II have proven to be unconstitutional= Failure.

Trump said Mexico would pay for the wall=Failure.

Remember when Trump said to his followers that they are going to be tired of winning all the time? There are rumors in Washington have already indicated that Trump’s budget is DOA (dead on arrival.)

With the Russian ties being revealed daily by the likes of Rachel Maddow on MSNBC and Scott Dworkin (@funder) on Twitter. The GOP members will be jumping ship like rats. One thing for sure, Rep. Devin Nunes, cannot be trusted to lead a competent investigation. He was on Trump’s transition team, and he has proven that his loyalty is to Donald, not the American people.

The GOP has proven one thing over the past 2 months, they are only good at destruction, not creation or as Sarah Connor said from the 1991 movie Terminator II, Judgement Day,” men like you built the hydrogen bomb. Men like you thought it up. You think you’re so creative. You don’t know what it’s like to really create something; to create a life; to feel it growing inside you. All you know how to create is death and destruction”

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And listen to #TheFullMonte Podcast Monday and Thursday at 6 PM

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Hailees Daily Dose As most of you know, I am built with alot of attitude and sarcasm. It's who I am Lol. Although I am made that way, I have a very empathetic soft hearted soul. I am a writer, a speaker, a photographer and advocate. I'm also very guarded yet I am am open book as to who I am. I battle mental health issues. Physical health issues... It's who I am no apologies. You take all of those traits, shake them up and I am the result. This sounds like a pretty complicated person... I can be, but in all of the chaos that creates me, I wouldn't change a thing. Each of you are the same but different. That's one of the greatest, most beautiful things we've been allowed to share in this world. It takes all of us to make the world go round....What an awesome thought! I can't imagine a world where we were all the same. We could never grow or learn. We wouldn't be able to experience joy, happiness or love. How sad that would be! On the flip side, we also wouldn't experience disappointment, sorrow or pain. As much as it sucks sometimes, these are necessary things that help create each of us and make us the amazing creatures we are. We all face adversity. Some more than others. We have things happen to us that change who we once were, things that change our whole life path... It's what we do with what we are given. Life wasn't planned to be perfect. It was planned in a way that we could grow and learn and become OUR piece of this grand masterpiece we call life. We each have so much to offer. Each of us carry such an important role in this journey. I can't express that enough. I'm going on about all of the same stuff I have said before but today instead of for others, I am serving myself these reminders. Things have been really hard lately, at one point, I was ready to give in. Just quit. Throw everything away. For what? I am not sure specifically but what I am very sure of, is the reason I stayed. I stayed because my children need a mother. I stayed because it finally sunk in that my journey isn't over yet and I need to finish my story. I can reach many people by just being myself. If I take myself out of the equation, it changes someone elses path. I don't want to be responsible for that. My higher power has a reason for me. It's my job to see it through. Today, if you are struggling, try to find a positive in all of the negative. Take stock in who you are. Look at yourself with a loving attitude and evaluate yourself in the same way you care about others. YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE LOVED. I am so grateful to have such a variety of beautiful people in my life! I am truly blessed. Take a step back my friends, look around you in a new light. If everyone did this, imagine the change we could make. ❤️ More love. Less hate. H

[haileesmith69-blog]

Hailees​ Daily Dose The world as we know it is in a crazy chaotic mess. We live in a time where people have become little more than selfish monsters. We have forgotten how to care for our neighbors. We have forgotten about priorities. We have lost all sense of family and the importance of spending time together. Hugging each other. In this day and age, it's about the things we have. Keeping up with the Jones family in our neighborhoods. We need to get back to the basics. Where a handshake is a mans word. Where helping the sick and disabled is just done. Taking care of our own in an appropriate manner. We need to go back to the times of family meaning something important. We need to take it all back.  Children need to be taught respect and responsibility. They need to be taught work ethics and general understanding that we are all supposed to be equal. We are human beings that all deserve respect and kindness.   We need to learn trust and understanding and acceptance of ALL people regardless of race or color. Our world is becoming more and more divided. It's time my friends to let down those guarded things we allow to divide and separate us. We are one race. Human. It's time to unite and pick each other up instead of tearing each apart.  The world would be a hell of a lot better place if we did. More love. Less hate.