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June 6, 2025— typing it here because im too lazy to write. Ang cute nila Jules at Alf for taking those recog pics. Even though I have no parent with me, I'm glad I have those to commemorate my achievement. I'm really grateful for people like them. I hope that God blesses them with people like them too.

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I've denied myself my true nature for so long, that I only deem the present one tolerable. But must I be content with tolerable when I can begin to summon her that used to live in me?

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I saw my former crush yesterday, and I remembered poetry. I first saw him during first year of college. I remember pointing him out to a friend, and he said that he has pretty eyes. I only smiled. Truth is, he reminds me of a gentle wind too scared of becoming more, of being seen. But there is strength in there, a happiness and contentment in solitude. Once, during ROTC, we had to walk in this rope course with no safety belt or net whatsoever, that I lost courage and back out. But then as luck have it, we were in the same group. I saw him look at the tree, went up the rope and did the course with quiet excitement (if there is such a thing) and finished it beeming with happiness, that I felt courage come back. Needless to say, I was able to do that rope course, and throughly enjoyed it too. Honestly, I don't know why I'm sharing this, but that I was a troubled to see him looking altered yesterday. Now that we're moving on 4th year, he look tense, pressured and stressed. That gentle creature. I hope life will be kind to him :(

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Sorry, I can't look you in the eye. You will see the yearning there

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"With you. I would have been happy with you."

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It has been written a long time ago who we are going to rip our hearts for, and offer it to. You see, this is the beauty of love. The lover can never be owned because they choose to give. No one can ever force love out of a person. A heart can only be a gift, not a slave. Even a jailed bird tries to reach its lover using its song.

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Joy Sullivan, from “Soup”, Instructions for Traveling West

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I was so socially depleted earlier, as if all my energy was soaked up like sponge to water by some kind of vortex that I had to ask for hugs. I'm so glad my friends are there.

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Today is a core memory for sure 🤍 #PEERSYNC farewell party. I love 2025

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Hi sweet cheeks, why are you sad? Here, let me give you a hug. There. Do you want it to be a little tighter? Okay. You got it. You want to sleep in ny arms now? Close your eyes, my love. You will be okay

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: How about you? What are your struggles as a pastor's kid?

: upholding the reputation.

(a conversation i had at the rooftop last week)

sometimes i wish I could skip church when im not okay so i don't have to mingle with people. Or be allowed to go to church, but not have to do anything aside from listening to the Word and worshipping. There are moments, like today, when i wish going to church meant just plain seeking God and feeling His love. Don't ask me what's wrong. I'm just tired. That's all. Tired. As if everything in me wants to not get out of my room and face anyone.

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the archive of almosts.

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Marcel Proust, from a letter featured in The Selected Letters of Marcel Proust