hardbender

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follow my art on insta

(C.B)(4.5.19)

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Modern gyaru

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• Out with the Old in with the New •

🌿

JakalaksJournal

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penguin motivation 🐧

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why is that people screaming “listen to both sides uwu” are always the people only listening to one side and trying to get the other side to shut up

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A Virgo once told me I can be as sad as I want just make sure I’m still doing things and that has changed the way I view everything. I’m like it’s fine that I’m sad right now but let me go be sad at hot yoga and be sad while I’m taking my vitamins and be sad while I’m learning ceramics and while I’m completing my tasks. This might sound like depressing but for me it’s so elevating. Bc I know in like, December for example I will be able to look at how much I’ve expanded myself n it won’t matter that I was sad in August because sadness doesn’t stick. It’s what u do that shapes your life. And I kept doing things. And I shaped my life

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ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

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“Money can’t buy you happiness” is propaganda from rich people to convince the poor to be satisfied with less.

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Laicise - v - Withdraw clerical character, control, or status from.

Duplicitous - adj - Deceitful

Castigate - v - Reprimand (someone) severely.

Altruistic - adj - Showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others; unselfish.

Infarction - n - Obstruction of the blood supply to an organ or region of tissue, typically by a thrombus or embolus, causing local death of the tissue.

Dysphagia - n - Difficulty or discomfort in swallowing, as a symptom of disease.

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switch your mentality from “i’m broken and helpless” to “i’m growing and healing” and watch how fast your life changes, for the better.

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the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance

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Guide to: Intrusive thoughts.

💛you are NOT your thoughts💛

1. Intrusive thoughts are common. Around 2% of the population live with unwanted recurrent and distressing intrusive thoughts, images or impulses.

Some examples of intrusive thoughts:

• Intrusive thoughts or mental images of harming/killing ones spouse, parent, child, or self

• Repeatedly worrying that one has or will physically assault another person

• Repetitive thoughts that one has said or written something inappropriate

• Mental images or thoughts that one considers sacrilegious or blasphemous

2. They cause distress because of the meaning. Often we question , what it means , are we bad?, am i going to hell? (no ur not bad and ur not going to hell! Remember you can’t stop a thought but you can choose what you do with it! Try to replace it with something happy if you can, like your safe space or happy place.

3. Intrusive thoughts are Ego Dystonic, This means that the thoughts are the opposite of what you are! They are contrary to your true nature.

4. Be assured you are NOT alone, my friend 💛 Intrusive thoughts are often kept secret due to the nature of the thoughts. Everyone experiences them so you are not the only good person to have a “bad” thought!!!

p.s. My inbox and asks are ALWAYS open if you guys need to talk about anything ! please do not be scared because I am your friend and I would never judge you 💛

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me: today is going really well and i don’t trust it some shit: *starts happening* me: ah there it is. the Fuckening™

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Finals week vibes ⚡️

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A Really Fucking Vulgar Guide to Not Losing Your Shit in College (Condensed Version)

Bitches love to put things into lists. Moreover, bitches love numbered shit. Here’s some numbered shit in list format to help you not suck in higher education. You’re welcome.

1. Go to class. Like 210% serious. I don’t give a shit if you’re a get by on nothing, A+ slacker. You’re fucking paying for this crap so you might as well get the services owed to you. Take your ass to class even if you zone out 99% of the time. You know 1% more than you did when you walked up in there. Congrats, asshole.

2. All that free time you have during your first week of classes? Make it your bitch. Don’t just print the goddamn syllabus and be like all done. No motherfucker. Take a good fucking look at that assignment list. What’s due next week? Yeah, do that shit now bc I know you don’t have anything else to do. Then when you’re coughing up a lung six weeks into the semester and don’t feel like getting your ass up to do that calculus homework, you’ll remember this week. You’ll remember that you’ve been a week ahead this whole damn semester. Pat yourself on the back, ass wipe.

3. Prepare yo self. No seriously. You got notes to print for class? Sure you could be like all those other bitches and just shove them into your backpack, or you could actually /prepare/ for class. I’m talking looking that shit over, identifying key concepts, getting a decent grasp of the material before your ass is even in class. You a STEM major? Yeah, make this kinda shit your life because now class is like one bomb ass group review session. Again, you’re welcome.

4. Snack like a motherfucker, but save that junk food shit for the weekends. From now on, you are a fucking health guru during the week or if you’re a slacker like me, at least on the days you have class. Fruits? Hell yeah. Pack some of those. Mind wandering in class? Snack on some apple slices. Can’t stay awake? Keep eating some almonds or some shit, but don’t be that bitch with the potato chips. Just don’t.

5. Read. Yeah, you heard me. Read and I’m not just talking assigned reading. I bet my left butt cheek that your campus library has /something/ of interest to you. Commuting and don’t want to drive out there? Library databases bro. We’re in the digital age, motherfucker. I’d bet my other butt cheek that the shit you want is in a nice little PDF somewhere. But na man, you thinking maybe you want to go into computer science? Check out computer science books and eat them up bro. You don’t like reading them? Probably not the field for you. You a biology major in your second year? Yeah dumbass. Time to break out the bio books and not the ones your professor is shoving in your face. Amaze your friends and teachers with your out of class knowledge. Be a fucking star.

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Recently, I have been reflecting a lot about myself and my personal growth from the past year. This year was tough for me, academically and personally. And many, many, many things have not gone my way. So, I uh, I have kind of failed a lot this year? I think I have failed more in this past year than in the previous nineteen years of my life. I failed at my new job, I almost failed calculus, my grades have struggled all year long, I had to withdraw from my summer class, etc. As hard as this year has been, I definitely think I am a better person now that I am on the other side of it. I am so much stronger than I was June 29th of last year. I have had to grown up a lot, and learned some “big girl” lessons. So here are my thoughts on dealing with failure, in school and just in life in general,  and how to tackle all the messy emotions that come along with it. 

1.) Remember: college is a tough environment. 

Most of my friends and acquaintances are all tirelessly working towards some impressive end goal (graduating, getting into med school, getting an internship). Many of my friends are also in hard programs, and must be at top performance at all times. I attend a competitive university, and so it really does seem like EVERYONE has their life together. Everyone I know has big dreams/goals/plans. We are all trying SO damn hard to succeed at our respective fields, and it can be hard to always be around successful, overachieving friends. Most of the time it is great– I have a great support system and I love to see all the great things my friends are doing…but

It can be so hard to not compare. It’s hard when everyone seems to have everything working out for them, and I don’t. Especially when I feel as though I put in an equal amount of effort. It is important to remember that first of all, it is impressive that you are even in college. You would not have gotten accepted into your university if you could not have handled the work. It is important to remember in school, that everyone goes through their struggles. Some struggles are just more apparent than others. 

2.) It’s okay to not be perfect. 

I know this can sound cheesy, but it is true. I struggle with perfectionism. I always feel like I need to be in top performance mode for school, but somedays, I just can’t be. I get tired, or sad, discouraged and stressed, just the same as everyone does. You aren’t a robot, and you can’t just go-go-go without stopping. Sometimes to you need to stop and take a break. It is okay to rest. Resting is not quitting. It is not failure. 

3.) Reflect and learn from what happened…then MOVE ON. 

I honestly think this is the most important point. It’s very important to look back on your past mistakes and think “What could I have done differently?”…Could I have studied more effectively? Could I have started planning earlier? Could I have been a better friend? Use your failures to your advantage– learn something from them. This is how you better yourself. 

However, after wallowing in self-pity, and dwelling on whatever happened, move on. It is now in the past. It is done. It is hard to not be hard on yourself. Nobody is perfect. No one should expect you to be perfect, and you should not expect that of others. 

4.) Failure is necessary.

Failure is the scary part about “putting yourself out there,” in every aspect of life. But, it does make you a tougher person. I have failed a lot in my life, but I can say with confidence that I have more grit than pretty much anyone else I know. I throw myself at my goals, but only get the desired results half the time. That is life. Life is not fair. I have such a steadfast grasp on what I want to do with my life, and I refuse to let any obstacle overcome that. My failures have made me realize how badly I want to achieve my dreams. If you are not comfortable with failing, then you are going to miss out on a lot of life experiences. It’s going to happen to you, no one is immune. 

Well, I hope anything I said comforts at least one person. If anyone else out there isn’t having the best time, remember: it’s okay. You are doing enough just by trying. Go do great things, friends.