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Yandere Alphabet↬Phainon

Warnings: General Yandere themes, Discussion on topics such as Abduction, Coercion, Stalking, Emotionally Manipulative Behaviors, Social Isolation, Non-graphic depictions of violence, Gaslighting, Unbalanced Power Dynamics, Suicide (one mention) and Unhealthy Relationships. Some spoilers for Phainon's lore. SFW.

♡ Word Count: 6304

♡ Yandere Alphabet prompt credits to @/dear-yandere. artwork credits.

♡ Note: This was more of a personal challenge that I've been wanting to do for a long time but, never got to because no character managed to occupy my thoughts that hard. But Phainon did it lol. Please excuse any unintentional errors and enjoy<3

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

In Phainon's case, the question we should be asking is how does he not show affection. See, Phainon's notable characteristic that is often mentioned by others in game — the one that qualifies him to be the World-bearer — is his ability to imbibe everyone's hopes and wishes and carry them along ‘as if’ they were his own.

However, when Phainon falls in love, truly and wholeheartedly ; the experience that will be borne of that phenomenon is something that is his and his alone. For the first time in his life, his desires and dreams cannot be traced back to someone else, he isn't striving for something that was incipient from another's wishes. For the first time in his life, he's enticed by selfishness.

This new discovery makes him feel both uncomfortable and… fulfilled, strangely. The discomfort is prevalent in the initial stage, when he's still trying to digest the fact that more and more of his priorities are shifting their tone from plural to singular. Sure, it unsettles him when an event that he would previously want to include all of his friends in seems much more desirable to celebrate with you only — but, it also feels… natural to want to do so with you alone.

Perhaps that's just because the exhilaration is always more active in the beginning, curiosity nudging his young heart to explore this fresh territory. Of course, as time proves next, it wasn't simply a case of hormones.

So, how does Phainon cope with this love that is so particular to him? Ironically, through the very same quality that he'd been so conflicted about, by imbibing every piece and aspect of yourself that he's observed and you've gifted him, until you become an integral part of his personality, so to say. And when he's made you take reigns over his every thought and action, his affection will spill forth — in his words, in his silence, in his gaze and in the way his body becomes spellbound when you're around.

Phainon is not someone who remains tethered to one or two ways when it comes to giving love, he constantly switches between every method known to mankind. But some things are repeated more frequently. He loves to talk to you, wants to hear your voice again and again until it becomes something he can hear with clarity even in his dreams, he memorizes your idiolect by heart ; so that even if Ciphera herself were to take on your appearance, he'd know immediately that it's not you. Denying him your voice is one of the fastest punishments you can give him.

He also views physical touch as particularly valuable. He doesn't really realize how touch starved he is until that first brush against your fingertips and all of a sudden, his thoughts are spiraling into far more dangerous territories. This is another aspect to his burning desire to know about every minuscule detail about your being. He wants to know and he wants to be the only one to know about every crease and ripple on your skin. So that even if he goes blind, the image of you may be the clearest one in his mind.

He likes giving gifts, but not empty ones. Every one of them must have some sort of meaning behind them and he always anticipates that you'd be able to deduce what they are. He wants to go on so many adventures with you and he can turn even the most mundane chores sound like an adventure, bear no doubt in that regard. Not that he's going to impose menial chores on you while he's still very much alive with functioning arms and legs. Every morsel of your attention and every minute of your time that you give him is a blessing to him and he doesn't wish to be deprived of this boon, ever.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

When it comes to dealing with external forces that inconvenience you, distress you or come between you two, Phainon has very little concern for his Hero image. If it was something that was causing him problems? He could and would bear with it. But when it comes to the people who he cherishes, he's willing to go miles and it's you we're talking about.

This case of being empowered to do something that may or may not be morally just in behest of his love for you is rather problematic, actually. For one, it makes him even more reckless and two, the person he's doing it for will likely not appreciate it. That's fine by him though. In his head, he's laser focused on the fact that the harm he's doing to someone else is merely a payback for the harm that person has done to you, or to the ‘bond’ you two share. That thought process protects him from giving into the itch that his conscience begets.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

In my opinion, Phainon would not abduct his darling. He, however, does isolate and confine.

Regardless of how careful you might be with him, he's going to teeter close to these roads sooner or later. It may begin rather harmlessly. ‘That person you were talking with gave off odd vibes to me, just saying.’ Everyone knows how much of an amicable fellow Phainon is, if he is saying that there is something off about someone… it's probably in your best interest to be wary of them, right? Your group of friends unintentionally said or did something hurtful? He's been holding back his tongue for so long! They obviously don't know how to treasure you, why don't you hang out with his friends instead?

The extreme form of this is when he resorts to confinement. Get hurt enough times to the point where you can't dismiss it as being clumsy anymore, an assassination attempt made by the Council of Elders or worse, a penumbra of Flame Reaver around you? He's going to make you move in with him, to the safest house designed in the history of Amphoreus probably ; every lock tested, every nook tethered with Aglaea's golden threads, every inch baby-proofed.

You can't even get mad at him at that stage, because he looks so out of his element. Rest and meals neglected, thoughts of your safety constantly whirring in his head, hyper-aware of everything yet exhausted to his atoms. It's a pitiful picture.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He certainly can. For example, uprooting the weeds (read: troublesome people) from your life, assuming that this isn't something you told him to do. It's just in his nature to handle problems that he comes across and because he cares for your mental peace. That, or he has beef with that person in regards to you somehow. Constant surveillance is also something he imposes and he tries to keep you unaware about it for as long as possible.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

That all depends on you. If you're someone who's proven themselves to be capable of providing a safe space for him, the chances of him baring his secrets to you may increase. Offer him gentle touches, understanding words, a feeling of peace and although he'd know very well that you possess a separate motive, his desperate heart that longs for every morsel of your affection might humor you with a few confessions.

In general, Phainon is someone who's much more accustomed to hiding away his fears. But just because he's used to shielding them from the eyes of everyone doesn't mean that the metaphorical jar containing his doubts doesn't exist — cracks and splinters sing of the way his fears overflow from their containment. Poking at him about this is a gamble (and not one I'd recommend) especially if he hadn't consulted you about it himself.

When the matter of being vulnerable in someone else's presence is concerned, being aware of those vulnerabilities is the precondition. Phainon is an interesting case in this regard, at his very core, he's aware of how unhealthy his attachment is and how he's basically destroying himself and much more by loving you this intensely. But this awareness is buried beneath layers upon layers of justifications ; he has to, what is essentially gaslight himself into believing that this is normal, this is protection, this is just his pure love because it'd kill him otherwise.

Confronting that truth, confronting all his fears all by himself and worst of all, letting go of you would ruin him. Far, far more than nurturing this delusion because he's simply spiraled too far away from the edge of sanity and you are the only factor keeping him anchored from losing it completely. So, he'll believe in the ruse until he's turned it into the truth. He'll smile and laugh and wave off your or anyone else's concerns. He'll persist until you, too, have accepted the rationale carved by his hand.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He'd feel very hurt. Regardless of how many layers of reasoning Phainon may try to use as shields, a part of his conscience will always question the rationality in his behavior. Any resistance from you, be it verbal or physical, is validating that part of his conscience that he keeps on pushing away. It's an acerbic reminder that he's teetered too close to the point where you look at him as less of a hero and more of a monster. You'll be surprised at how quickly his self-deception comes close to crumbling completely, because the structure upon which he's relying on to stay sane is incredibly fragile.

Luckily for him, his expression always twists into something that morphs his inner guilt into fitting his primary narrative by itself. Phainon has accolades in the art of looking like a kicked puppy. It's near impossible for the average person to guess the actual complex back-and-forth that is happening in his head, hell, Phainon himself doesn't process the nuances of it. So, you're most likely to think that perhaps you've overreacted this time. He looks hurt enough to make your heart tremble, enough to make you question yourself and enough to earn your reluctant cooperation.

This pattern needs to be repeated just two times before Phainon is also abandoning that voice in his heart, convinced once more that he's in the right. By the looks of it, you're on the exact path that he wants you to tread and you won't be able to realize what you got tangled up in any time soon.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

It's not a game, it's his fantasy. In a world that is doomed with destruction, dreaming is the easiest escapism. Phainon weaves visions with the threads of his desires at day, tries to bring those dreams to reality throughout it and ruminates about those dreams when he falls unto slumber. He wants to be yours so badly and he wants you to be his — in the most ‘natural’ way possible, like in those romance stories.

“Escape attempts” have a different meaning when it comes to him. He isn't actually restraining you, he's simply pining you in place with the weight of his name, his titles and his power. He's amused by your attempts… until he isn't. When does this happen? Hard to predict, could be any day where he decides that he's had enough and simply wants to embrace you close to his heart while the world goes to hell or whatever.

If he's in a good mood or if his hold on his patience is still in tact, he won't even take your escapades seriously! It's play to him, he's eager to see what surprising tactic you'll use to evade him, in fact. Escaping from conversations, date attempts and physical initiations are okay to an extent, at least when he's still in a humorous mood. That is only because he's confident that he can catch you with his skills anytime. Trouble occurs when he feels a rift in this confidence.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Probably if he were to emotionally withdraw abruptly, just when you were starting to get used to him or had even returned his affections. It's not that he falls out of love, he could never even if he tried to. It's just that he can resort to distancing himself emotionally from you if life's hardships kept on piling up on him continuously and somehow, the repressed guilt from all his sins would manage to infect his thoughts.

You'd never realize how much Phainon's smile had aided in keeping you somewhat sane until he stopped smiling altogether. It's unnerving beyond words to see the man whose whole being brightens up at your presence, so gloomy and strings of ‘you deserve better than him’ suddenly spilling forth from his lips. This is more of a phase and it will pass if you can be patient, because again, Phainon can never stop loving you even if he tried.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

From the moment Phainon's admiration starts to take shape into love, a dream would begin to haunt his every breath ; you and him, beneath the sky of a bright, sunny day as gentle winds ruffle your hair and guide the wheat fields to dance along their rhythm. You'd fall asleep leaning on his shoulder and he would laugh fondly at his little sleepyhead, gathering you in his embrace and cradling you close to his heart. No monsters, no Black Tide, no cruel prophecies.

Waking up beside you every morning, lazily going through the rest of the day tangled up in each other's presence and going back to sleep with you in his arms. Sharing laughs with friends and family on the weekends. Maybe, with time, a small bundle of joy would further illuminate his home, or more. Regardless of what he becomes, this singular vision always keeps him tethered.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Jealousy is a reflection of one's own insecurities. Typically, love brings with itself a fresh set of insecurities, or triggers old ones. So, jealousy is bound to be enticed in even the most mentally stable person at some point. Phainon is someone who doesn't often get back as much as he gives to others, something that he's learned to accept. But just because he's reluctantly accepted it doesn't mean that he never wishes someone would. With his darling, this ‘giving’ is even more amped up and that subconscious yearning to be given just as much love also develops.

So naturally, when he notices that his devotion isn't exactly being reciprocated, he becomes frustrated. But he'll always give you the benefit of the doubt first. He tries, he tries so hard to be understanding and considerate about your boundaries, he really does. He doesn't really have many good coping mechanisms in general, besides swinging his sword at a hundred more Black Tide creatures.

The best way to describe jealous Phainon is through passive aggression. He might not say it outright, but everyone and their dromases will know of his displeasure through strained smiles, clipped words and rigid body language. It's unnerving to see the usual jolly and polite hero frowning that hard. No one wants to even walk wrong in front of him when he's like that. He doesn't really intend to, but in the end, he makes everyone (including you) feel just as uncomfortable as he does from his rigid demeanor alone.

His jealousy can be triggered through almost everything, but nothing makes him feel as livid as when someone other than him makes you laugh. Phainon prides in his sense of humor and his ability to make people smile! Whenever you're with him, he doubles down on his efforts, as if he was trying to Pavlov you into associating happiness with his presence by the amount of serotonin he tries to entice. So if he sees that exclusive position being threatened, he feels miffed, starts seeing red even.

Phainon gets jealous of things you wouldn't even think someone would be capable of getting jealous of — the wind that brushes past your skin? He wishes that was him. The Chimeras you coo at and give head-pats to? He's glaring at them from behind you and is going to research whether it's possible to turn into a Chimera for a day the moment he gets home. Your pillows and blankets? Titans, he wishes those were him. That mosquito that had the audacity to bite you? Lucky bastard. The list goes on.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

With you, he's typically on his absolute best behavior. His smile is noticeably wider, his laughs don't feel forced, his speech is much more bubbly and overall, he simply looks like a man that's in love. Due to this, it might be difficult for you to believe any contradictory statements about his demeanor from elsewhere. Even if someone may try to sneak in questions to you about what you really feel about him or if you notice any suspicious stuff about him, you may not think too hard about them. Because Phainon is very dedicated to making a good and lasting impression on you. He wants to be someone whose words you'd believe in, who you'd trust and want to rely on in all times.

You have no idea how much power you have over him, everyone else does though. He could be in the middle of a heated negotiation, but the moment you're in the vicinity, he does a 180° and is rubbing cheeks with you like a lost pet. He could be in the midst of a bloody battle, both of his legs chopped off and he'd still crawl to you from across a field and ask if you are alright.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Phainon is one of the Yanderes that tries to follow the traditional route. He'll first try to be your friend, then he'd reveal his romantic interest, a few months or so of courting to ease you into the relationship and then he'll bend down on one knee — at least, this is his preferred route.

If you don't meet each other by chance and he happens to know of your existence first, he lets his attraction marinate for a while. He needs a somewhat clear idea about you, for which he'd need to learn as much as possible. Then he'd plan a rough draft about how he intends to take things from there in his head, which expands all the way to your joint retirement plan by the way. Rule of thumb, if there's capacity for him to have control about how things will go with you, he isn't going to be comfortable with the spontaneity route.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Asking that question to Phainon himself is going to give him an identity crisis on spot. Assuming that ‘true colors’ here refers to a side of Phainon that he actively tries to hide from everyone, even his darling to an extent ; yes, it is different. But if you've observed Phainon a bit, paid attention to his speech, how he acts under pressure, it's also not very surprising to discover that Phainon has a side that is contradictory to his usual sunshine boy image.

Phainon carries burdens from his past, the ghosts of many loved ones and he keeps them hidden under that veneer of a cheerful smile. The more someone does this, the less control they actually end up having over that ‘side’, allowing it to slip through at times.

At least, his fellow Chrysos Heirs have a good idea about this matter. And they also know that your existence works as a good panacea to his woes. So, you can kiss the chances of being helped by the majority of them goodbye. They might call him out at times but, at the end of the day, they need their Deliverer — preferably sane.

The common people don't even see anything wrong with him (they idolize him even), you increase the chances of being dubbed as the irrational one by resisting his most ardent amative advances, in fact. Sooner or later, you will start to question your judgement as well.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Phainon is actually very bad at enacting the usual Yandere punishments, because he's weak for you. If he's ever done anything harmful to you, know that it was unintentional, or that it wasn't ‘Phainon’. He's incapable of doing anything hurtful to you on purpose without causing a flood with his tears or dying a bit inside first. One look at your sad eyes, or any indication of fear and he's already dropping it.

But that doesn't mean that he never gets ruffled enough to want to let you know that he doesn't want to see a repeat of whatever it was that disturbed him. So, he opts for more ‘harmless’ punishments, as they appear on the surface.

His go-to is ‘engulfing you in a bear hug suffocating enough to squeeze your fighting spirit out’. He has the speed, strength and stature to do much worse, you should be smart enough to pick that hint up. Another thing he likes doing is cuffing both of your hands together. You're annoyed by him? Mad at him? Can't stand his face at the moment? Oh, what travesty! Now you're stuck shoulder to shoulder with him and the keys are nowhere to be found either! It's as if even the universe itself is telling you that you can never and should never leave him.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

The first right that's going to be taken away from you is your right to your privacy. Unless your meeting was through a mutual serendipity and Phainon happened to know of you first, he isn't going to immediately approach you, oh no.

As mentioned before, he needs at least the rough draft of a plan and to illustrate that, he needs information. During that period where all he has are fantasies of walking side by side with you, any piece of information he can get his hands on about you is as important as sustenance. First the citizens' records, then the words of people that know you and at last, a more involved approach.

He's your usual case of trying to justify it with things like ‘just in case’ ‘to make sure you aren't a dangerous individual’ ‘it's his duty as a Hero to know about the states of the citizens’ etc. And when he's certain that you're someone worth pursuing, someone he must pursue in fact, the excuses shift. Now, it's more about matters regarding your safety. Where do you tend to be at this time of the day? You aren't wandering around dangerous places, are you? He just has to monitor your every move, otherwise he might claw his organs out due to the sheer anxiety. It's also a bit of a competition to him. It happens unconsciously and it makes him feel prideful, to be the person that knows the most about you.

After you two have gotten entangled enough, to the point where people have begun to associate you with each other, your name and identity will begin to be replaced by his, slowly. Though this one isn't really his doing, he does end up fanning the flames indirectly. You realize a little too late that dedicating victories to you, bringing you up in almost every conversation and always trailing after your shadow had a more profound impact upon your identity than what you'd assumed.

There's the matter of your claim to your personal space as well. Physical space is one thing but your mental space will not be spared as well. After all, you didn't spare him. It's not just a matter of feeling your skin under his fingertips, or the pleasant signals that flood his brain when he gets to have his hands on you — he wants to be so in a certain radius of your being that whenever he is away, your heart will be restless, that even other people will feel as though something is wrong, you without him by your side just looks wrong.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Patience is a gamble with this man, sometimes you win, sometimes he wins, sometimes you both lose. It's like his ‘patience’ is in a constant state of superposition, it's both there and isn't there, you wouldn't know unless you probe.

What Phainon excels in is being tenacious, stubborn. Not to be mistaken with patience, but you can't be blamed if you do. If he has a clear goal in mind, he's excellent in persisting until he's achieved it. But this isn't the levelheaded path, he's sacrificing bits and chunks of himself just to keep that fire burning within him and to push forward. Self-destructive, but it gets the job done.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Never. That answer is plain and simple. At least in the cases where you somehow manage to escape or leave him, he can still comfort himself with the knowledge that you're out there somewhere and there's still a chance for him to correct the mishaps, make sure there won't be a third attempt.

But if you died? That is his singular, most dreaded nightmare come true. This is the man that when he wakes up in the middle of the night, his first instinct is to check if you're still breathing or not. Phainon has thought about how he'd cope with your departure countless times — because everything and everyone must face death and he hasn't liked even one of those hypothetical scenarios.

On the outside, he looks petrified, a statue of disbelief frozen in time. He isn't willing to accept that you're just… gone like that, he always said that Thanatos themselves would have to wrestle him if they wanted to take you away and he's going to do exactly that. He'll search the River of Souls for millions of years if necessary, he'll bring death upon Thanatos themselves if necessary, he'll do anything, anything if any grain of sand, anyone in this wretched world could promise him that it'd bring you back.

But if that isn't possible and you're just gone for good forever? Then to hell with this world, he's going to first destroy everything and then himself ; in his eyes, nothing holds value to continue existing if you're not a part of it, not the universe and certainly not him.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Yes, guilt is a ghost that will never cease haunting him, even if you return his affection. Just the simplest impedimenta that he might have to use to keep you safe prick at his conscience, in moments where it's just him and his thoughts ; be it a tactful wordplay to distract you or the pinnacle of the degradation of his sanity, confinement.

But does that mean he's willing to let you go? Titans, no. Guilt is something he's accustomed to carrying, from when he left the graves of Aedes Elysiae to the prophecy that has penned down his solitary destiny. But the possibility of losing you, when he could've prevented it? That would end him for good. So, he'll linger at your feet, for as long as possible.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

A mix of his childhood and just the overall state of Amphoreus. He's already experienced the taste of losing everything that he held dear once, of having to cut down and bury the bodies of his loved ones with his own hands. The cries of the dead still echo in his ears whenever it gets too quiet. Phainon had once thought that he wouldn't be capable of harboring affection ever again. His sense of attachment had gone askew with the end of Aedes Elysiae. But truthfully, he's never stopped grieving for his home.

If Phainon really does fall in love with you, to such an intense degree moreover, that'd mean that you're truly special. It'd mean that you're capable of soothing his wounds with your presence alone, that you're capable of making him want to dream again like he used to when he was a little boy. This process, all this mind-work that goes inside Phainon doesn't happen as easily as I'm describing it.

Once Phainon becomes attached, he does so terribly, to the point he wouldn't even imagine is possible. And he doesn't want to sever this connection, this new fantasy that's empowering him to take on the mantle of World-bearing with renewed vigor. He now has someone who he wants to protect more than anything, he wants to carve that blissful future and he wants to walk into that sea of flowers at the end of the west winds with you. So naturally, he has to do anything that is required for that future to come true.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

As discussed in “Fight”, Phainon would be hurt by any act that runs contradictory to what he expects from you. He just wants to make you happy and feel safe ; screaming, crying, withdrawing from him — all of them are like harsh slaps that tell him that he's failing brilliantly in that field. The worst part is that he understands why you're behaving that way and can't fault you for it, he definitely deserves it, in fact. He should be treated worse for whatever nonsense he's been doing.

And when his attempts to calm you down with that lifeline, that he's doing it all to protect you, no longer works, what does he do? He cries. He breaks down as well. All the guilt and shame and emotional weight crushing him in an instant of unintelligible apologies drenched in tears.

The hero that always comforts others, always prioritizes others first, the man who'd forgotten how to cry in funerals, on his knees under the pressure of his feelings. Not even the most hardened heart could remain unflinching before that sight, I believe.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

I am in firm belief that Phainon would not abduct his darling. Simply because he has more options available, enough resources and connections to bind you by his side and to make it all seem like the biggest coincidence ever. His heart is always pointed to empathize with others first, this feature is even more intensified for you.

It is not to say that Phainon never has the thoughts, sometimes all he wants to do is to wrap you up in his cape and hide you away. But they're just that, thoughts that he dismisses upon realizing that you would not at all like him if he were to do that.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Phainon's biggest weakness is… you, so, exploit yourself if you want to escape his grasp I guess? But you need to be something of a master manipulator and extraordinary actor to be able to actually succeed. Phainon is by no means unaware of how much power you have over him. You could get him to do anything by pulling at one or two of his heartstrings and he'd let you use him. So, Phainon does keep his guard up a bit in that regard.

You'd need to start slow, make the transition to acquiescence seem normal so that he doesn't immediately get suspicious — making the process lengthy. At a smaller scope and to have any bygone whims met, the easiest option is a kiss. To the cheek, to the neck, to the hand or to the lips it doesn't matter. You just need to give him a kiss, make his brain short circuit and slip away in that interval or, get him to agree to whatever it is you want.

Using affection is a risky method though, since it's essentially just reinforcing an existing addiction. You'd think that you're satiating that hunger little by little, but you're merely fanning the flames by giving him a taste of the whole he could have, if he just… keeps on clinging to you. There is no guarantee for when kisses to the cheek will not do the work anymore and he will demand a higher dose. If you find yourself here, consider kissing the dreams of escaping him farewell instead.

There is something else that works, though you need to have a bit of control over words to execute it: guilt-tripping. This is something Phainon feels in ample amounts even if he seems meticulous in hiding it. Target those doubts, twist his words, throw in the tears and make sure to squeeze his heart. If you're lucky, he might just bend for good. After all, the one thing Phainon can never stand seeing is you being unhappy.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Emotionally? Yes. Which is because he is hurting tenfold and hurt people hurt others, one way or another, eventually. Physically? No. He may get carried away in moments of intimacy, leave indents of his fingertips on your skin or bite a bit too hard at times but, actively trying to inflict physical harm on you is the stuff of his nightmares.

He's not unaware of the difference in strength between you, his thoughts often wander and intrude upon his conscience. Bluntly speaking, he could snap your bones with his bare hands or do worse. At moments when paranoia bleeds into reason, staining it with thoughts of you leaving him behind and dying somewhere all alone — he muses if he should just… break your leg, so that you won't be able to leave. But as it is, his mind has expertise in sprinting down the road of overthinking.

Let's assume he did just that, but what if and Titans forbid, the house catches on fire and you have to run? What will you do then? So, these thoughts remain as intrusive fiends.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Phainon is a reverent type, through and through. From the moment the seeds of love take root in his heart, you become the centerpiece of his universe, the orbit which guides his path, the missing piece of his psyche, the factor that allows him to be more than the prophesied hero, the Deliverer or the vessel of destruction.

Your every word is scripture, every glance a blessing, every breath a miracle. Your every wish is his command, something he must see fulfilled, even at the cost of his life. A smile, for your gaze to remain ever so gentle upon him is all he asks.

Phainon has devoured a litany of texts, has learned to weave words to ensnare, captivate and make anyone's heart ache and yet, he can't put into words just how intensely he feels his love for you. It can be seen though, in the way he both dares not to cross the steps to your altar and can't help himself in the end.

Probably crawling into your ribcage, taking the place of your heart and living there would satiate him — or you could do that with him. But since neither are quite possible, he'll be content to be by your feet, or beside you (if you would allow it), his body, heart and soul all surrendered in offering.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Phainon can be a bit… masochistic in this regard. You'd think by the intensity of his feelings that he wouldn't last more than a month before he's approaching you, but he can surprisingly pine for an impressive amount of time. It's not that he wants to, it's just that he'd much rather execute that encounter he's illustrated in his head with perfection. In this pursuit, he may have attempted many times and had withdrawn last second until the events pushed him to a point where there was no backing out anymore.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

He definitely has the skills to do so. But I don't think he can consciously do it. Knowing full well that nothing good will come out of crushing everything he loves about you and leaving you a shattered mess that will just hate him for eternity? Just the idea disgusts him. He wants you to keep being happy, make you happy, he wants to protect you from all the dangers of the universe and he wants you to return his love, too. The prospect of breaking your spirit runs contradictory to everything he stands for when it comes to you.

But yes, it's not something that's impossible to happen with him. He's destined to lead a turbulent existence, it's not unnatural if you end up getting caught up in that chaos and break apart. Regardless of how it happens, Phainon would never forgive himself for it.

#icymi :>#thank you so much for the love on this post <3

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harmonysanreads · 9 days ago