haroldherberthawkins

[haroldherberthawkins]

Phew! The semester is officially over (for me at least)! Sicily is sounding very appealing as I sit perspiring under this hot Roman sun. I shall definitely be going for a bottle of wine in centro tonight, Caffe Peru will hate to see me coming! One thing I must say I love about Italy is when there is a tabacchi in a bar! So efficient and convenient, unlike the buses. A summer of rest and relaxation should be greatly beneficial to my new incoming students in September.

[haroldherberthawkins]

Trusty Iris! It’s a miracle what students will do for extra-credit! Forget extra-credit she will most certainly be receiving 100 for the whole class! That trusty Book of Knowledge was my final hope to get close to my darling M again. However, it would seem the students managed to get through to me, straight through to my heart where I keep my dear Mirabella. All those years of reading through reams and reams of folkloric and ancient myths all in the hope one day I may stumble upon something! Alas, I did. Though I realised I will never be able to bring M back. I feel as though I could potentially soften my hand slightly, I can’t expect genius from every student! My oft badly-received jokes aside, I have some making up to do to some of these students, tipples on me this summer! All that plotting and for what! I think from now on I should stick to my spiked coffees and confectionary, reading for pleasure not obsession! Perhaps I’ll find a new project? Learning to cook properly could be interesting, I’ll have to pick Nonna’s brain. I could retire to Sicily for the summer… rest my weary bones in the sun before the madness resumes again next semester.

[haroldherberthawkins]

Phew! Today is my lucky day. That wretched “wellness” event has been cancelled…Good thing I had a word with some of the organisers to really ham up how terrible the weather was and how these are just unfit circumstances within which to host an event. Ha Ha. I feel I performed a valiant act of community service - who on earth has time for ‘wellness’ events during final week! Honestly, kids these days. Sometimes I think stress is lost on them.

[haroldherberthawkins]

The days are getting hotter, as is my anger at these bloody students taking liberties with school property! My ears are burning as the whispers in the corridors... I cannot believe this. It's time to take matters into my own hands once and for all!

[haroldherberthawkins]

What on god's green earth are these prying students doing nosing around with this mysterious tall tale. It's just enfringement after enfringement, I can't bloody believe it!

[haroldherberthawkins]

I can sense suspicious rumblings from the stairwell, it’s perturbing me greatly. Perhaps I’ll have to put my monocle to use and inspect....once I’ve finished marking the reams and reams of final paper drafts on my escritoire.

[haroldherberthawkins]

“Double, double, toil and trouble” to quote Shakespeare’s Macbeth – to which I say too right witches! It couldn’t epitomise how I feel any better. The mood is uncanny and inscrutable, words I would normally use to describe myself, but not today, the mood is too unsettling for me too!

[haroldherberthawkins]

Dear lord, how peculiar, the breeze blows wayward this afternoon and something is awry. My usual tricks aren’t working and my spiked cappuccino isn’t quite hitting the spot. My usual prickly temperament has worsened, the listless students most certainly aren’t helping!

[haroldherberthawkins]

Goodness gracious! Another influx of delinquents… Campus seems to get busier and busier by the second. I must say it increasingly whets my appetite for a tipple come 5 o'clock. Do as I say not as I do students!

[haroldherberthawkins]

Curiouser and curiouser… I detect the smell of some pesky students sniffing around the mystery of the Catacombs under this fine institution. Rome has the largest number of catacombs in the world, why don’t those dimwits obtain some creativity and go elsewhere! My rage was fleetingly mitigated by a lemon sherbet and a wee dram. Once the effects of my remedies had passed, I descended back into a state of vexation. Why on earth have they chosen now to become curious? If only they could display such intensity in my ancient history classes. Bothersome flies the lot of them! After another tipple I resolved to conjure up a master plan. I must throw them off the scent… Perhaps I could punish them all with detention or spike their coffees with whiskey, they sure as anything can’t handle even a taste of my Glenfiddich without collapsing. After all Ancient Roman rulers ingested small doses of poison daily to develop immunity! How great a harm can it really be…I could offer them a contaminated piece of my precious confectionary, or else let them run riot on those pesky mobiles! Rotten things those tardice-like telephones. Alas, I may be in quite the spot of bother do I not find a solution imminently. I am hell bent on concealing the catacombs for myself, after all those halfwits wouldn’t know what on earth to do with such knowledge – it’s well and truly wasted on them. I bet they don’t even know how to bloody spell catacombs! Over my dead body will these youths infiltrate the fountain of my knowledge. Not when I am so close to making an earth-shattering revelation. I shall be the emblem of brilliance. I am adamant…it’s all I have…

Alas, my catacombs stay safe another twilight, but for all one knows not for long.

Until next time trusted logbook.