harpviolinti

[harpviolinti]

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[harpviolinti]

Der Herr, der Allmächtige sieht alles. Auch eure Unterwäsche aus Mischgewebe, ihr kleinen Sünder.

"Und lege kein Kleid an, das aus zweierlei Faden gewebt ist." (3. Mose 19,19)

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Ich sollte aufhören, mich zu wundern wenn ich in der Bahn erkannt werde. Aber dass ausgerechnet die Schaffnerin Fan von mir ist, das ist mir noch nie passiert. Anyway, @marc-uwe-kling-official, wir haben dank deinen Büchern gerade 60€ an Schwarzfahrgebühr gespart 💪

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Wenn Sie ein Gewürz wären, welches wäre das?

Weißes PULVER :)

pulveriges BOOM BOOM

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[harpviolinti]

A reminder alert popped up.

"Oh," the Supervisor said, "it's time to check in on Sol-3 again. Szrpt, can you handle that?"

Szrpt bowed a frond. "Yes, of course."

"Don't forget to reset the killer asteroid if the sapients pose no threat."

"Once!" Szrpt bristled. "I only forgot that once!"

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Ich distanziere mich hiermit von der CDU/CSU. Bitte entfernen Sie mich aus Ihrem Parteinamen oder es wird rechtliche Konsequenzen geben.

[harpviolinti]

“Are you the witch who turned eleven princes into swans?”

The old woman stared at the figure on the front step of her cottage and considered her options. It was the kind of question usually backed up by a mob with meaningful torches, and the kind of question she tried to avoid.

Coming from a single dusty, tired housewife, it should’ve held no terrors.

“You a cop?”

The housewife twisted the hem of her apron. “No,” she muttered. “I’m a swan.”

A raven croaked somewhere in the woods. Wind whispered in the autumn leaves.

Then: “I think I can guess,” the old woman said slowly. “Husband stole your swan skin and forced you to marry him?”

A nod.

“And you can’t turn back into a swan until you find your skin again.”

A nod.

“But I reckon he’s hidden it, or burned it, or keeps it locked up so you can’t touch it.”

A tiny, miserable nod.

“And then you hear that old Granny Rothbart who lives out in the woods is really a batty old witch whose father taught her how to turn princes into swans,” the old woman sighed. “And you think, ‘Hey, stuff the old skin, I can just turn into a swan again this way.’

“But even if that was true – which I haven’t said if it is or if it isn’t – I’d say that I can only do it to make people miserable. I’m an awful person. I can’t do it out of the goodness of my heart. I have no goodness. I can’t use magic to make you feel better. I only wish I could.”

Another pause. “If I was a witch,” she added.

The housewife chewed the inside of her cheek. Then she drew herself up and, for the first time, looked the old woman in the eyes.

“Can you do it to make my husband miserable?”

The old woman considered her options. Then she pulled the wand out from the umbrella stand by the door. It was long, and silver, and a tiny glass swan with open wings stood perched on the tip.

“I can work with that,” said the witch.

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She halted before the sphinx issued a challenge and set up camp. She hung a sign from her tent:

"The answer to the riddle - 2 silver"

After a dozen travellers had passed safely, the sphinx called out. "Do you also sell riddles?"

"I have one no man had solved."

"Will you sell it?"

"For a kiss."

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"The sign said 'shepherd wanted'?"

"Yeah, but I must tell you we've had trouble with wolves..." The farmer looked up. And up. "Er. You're a dragon?"

"Is that a problem?"

"You won't eat the flock?"

"I wouldn't eat a hoard."

The farmer nodded. "That's the right attitude. But no sleeping on them!"

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my theory is dragons kidnap princesses for the same reason they hoard gold and other treasure, which is the perceived value and the bragging rights thereof. however, unlike precious metals and gems, human attractiveness is way more subjective, so you end up with dragons calculating the most valuable princess to nab and getting frustrated when their math doesn't check out...

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I'd be pissed, too. I love figs.

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At least, that’s what I keep getting told! 😉