hayvyah

[hayvyah]

Ruminating upon disgust

The prohibition of nature and the overflow into perversion

Disagreement over "nature" and what is 'human'

The normative agreement to conceal nature and the disgust at a great many natural unfolding events

Once the concealment is normalised the distinction between the natural and the perverse is blurred.

The lowering of the human and the outlet for every kind of overflow

Are held in myriad ritual forums

But the root natures, constrained by ritual, are elevated

The 'human' identity is transferred onto the ritual, as a machinery above nature, and this machinery is the baptism of what is considered 'human-normalised'

Identity, linked with the tools of nature's 'overcoming' creates the social pressure of normativity which in turn promotes the overflow into perversion, which is preestablished within normativity

That this is then illconsiderably held as nature, and not perversion, inverts the relation to disgust, as identity belongs to the machinery, the machinery removes the element of disgust from the perversion and 'man' - identified as the user of tools - is elevated above the human, above nature, and perceives, with horror, not their own monstrous activity, but only through being 'above nature' their own identity as ~human~

[hayvyah]

No longer every morning

I won't turn in my bed to the warm

Lost bubbles sweet

Flavour wheet

Not water

True grain

Coffee milk

Granular

Carpet drips stain

Teeth and beard

And lips and I've

Got a dream to hide inside

Before I call on you to face

[hayvyah]

The opposite of a scavenger

Upcycling

Reality in what hits around

Perceptions unbound

By the ear of the beholder

Feeling memories withholding

Of the sentimental purity you're scolding

All your sympathies to jack

You've got nothing

Nothing

[hayvyah]

progress has more in common with novelty and openness, than with the power of Truth to negate falsehood

The decimation of culture ought to alleviate the need for war

War over the novel, often rebellious, reversal of values, which is typically the means to progress of thought

The value is not obscured, unless perceived as novelty for the sake of novelty, which is a misnomer to a genuinely open mind.

All progress in thought has been novelty, or a reversal of prior thought, and these movements have been considered heretical or an afront to 'established' values.

The end of culture, the rise of freedom of thought, ought to further liberate new view points, but we aren't there yet.

The desire is for Truth to intervene, but progress is not this intervention, progress has more in common with novelty and openness, than with the power of Truth to negate falsehood.

[hayvyah]

I fully don't believe in revenge, but I feel like me carrying on as normal is enough for people to think I'm into revenge

I mean, no, work on your communication, tell me what you think I'm doing wrong, instead of just expecting me to change my coping strategies because you start deliberately stressing me out

[hayvyah]

I still believe in statements that have multiple meanings, whenever those meanings are complimentary to each other.

Even in the knowledge of the 'tradition' of statements made with two deliberately separate meanings, which are intended to produce or work upon the schism inherent in their incongruity.

I realise though, now more than ever, that where there is normativity around a particular interpretation, a statement having more than one meaning acts to create a schism in thought.

But, needless to say, I see this schism as one with the potential to liberate, constructively, away from normativity.

Without simply being an effort to induce schizophrenia or create a normative shift.

The idea of the normative shift ought to be understood in parallel to the idea of conspiracy, whether it appears as a joke about santa claus, or as a single to criminal activity.

[hayvyah]

Broke my phone

At the red light

On the bus

Social anxiety

No trains

Imma piss myself

Better than being at home

Collecting succubi

I don't wanna catch them all

But there's this one i like

[hayvyah]

Kill me quicker oh lord

Dying is not my favourite part

But have me live until the next layer of good

Or perhaps my own bleeding through into me

With love

Neither beyond nor unto death

Of you through me

Or me through you

But of me unto some other

By God I truly wished to love

And loved to wish

But wasted my life

All the want

Into desire and sex

With no one at all

[hayvyah]

The number of people who are a man first and a human being second

The gender supremacy where "human being" is always secondary to gender

[hayvyah]

What i put on the block

The time it took to rot

A way I never thought

Made sense to you but not to my

Who you fooling?

Hell it's not me

Who you're fooling

They're fixing to end my

They're tryna kill

When it rots then folksll see

Meanwhile it's on the block

And fools who want to kill

Point their shit at me

Because of you

Because of you

Happy lieing

No holiday

Life is fun

Getting old living on a lie

[hayvyah]

Strange that the pain stops sometimes

Every minute I'm amazed

How i ever

[hayvyah]

I'm close to shrugging off my name

The fat on my body is a testament to how much of my past is resting without any angle into a future

Where can I swim?

What name will float?

No...none, but remembering a calling in general

I'm missing this

[hayvyah]

Neuro typical people being like:

Oh you're right, slaughter houses are like death camps, I guess that means the holocaust wasn't that bad

Meat tastes good therefore Hitler wasn't all that bad.

This is literally how neuro typical people think.

If you compare something clearly evil to something normalised they will relativise the evil thing before they so much as begin to doubt the normalised thing.

[hayvyah]

Because I think evolution was driven by viruses, I'd never thought before about its limits coming from a point at which the macro deviated from the micro

But yeah, this is obviously a point

[hayvyah]

I just googled "monk of the primordial mother"

And the ai response surprised me

But right after that Google be like, Christian Rightwing such and such

[hayvyah]

Sometimes i can't believe how frequently my instincts to pursue social interaction inject themselves into my existence

The negativity of having someone to avoid is the bread and (in terms of cultivating and attitude of not caring) butter of being cool and indifferent to it.

Indifference isn't considered toxic, and maybe it is, but culture is like that, I'm only happy being weird, and that's triggering for a lot of people.

I'd argue that being triggering and being toxic aren't the same thing, and that normalisation confuses the issue by creating a shared 'unreflective space'.

But the grounds of any shared space does require some cultural touch stones.

And the fact that wherever these touchstones exist, they are abused makes for the presence of doubts, and doubts being triggered, or else moral sentiments, which abusers will milk, which, understandably ornaments them as triggers.

Even identifying them as weaknesses, because the given culture doesn't value them as strengths.

I want social contact. And that is where the lowest common denominator comes in.

So I try to source as much elevated content as I can, but no one I've ever met shares my sensibilities, so debasing myself becomes the real bread and butter.

And being indifferent to it doesn't last. Because it doesn't meet my actual needs...and suckily i feel the same way about politeness, even though i do respect certain elements of it's ethical function, making space for others, this is just another thing which tends to leave me vulnerable to abuse.

Comedy seems like the safe space. Even though irony ends up ringing more clearly there, than any where else.

[hayvyah]

I think in the future that the early 2000's movies won't read as gross anymore, the irreverent attitude will read as satirical and 'meta'

And there's even a deep truth to this, but, the fact that such 'meta' stirring is misinterpreted in it's own time and actually lends an ironic determination to the people being satirised, is a devastating flaw in the medium of comedy itself.

Of course not all of the movies 'contain' the development of stirring the 'meta' and birthing the ouvre. But in the future this distinction will be harder to see and the whole ill-equated genre will be painted, more often than not, as with the same brush.