he-who-reads-until-dawn

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

i want devices that are functional and hardy and i want them to last and fuck the rest of the shit i dont need. my ds and 3ds can lie in sleep mode for months if not years and i can pop them open and they've still got two or three bars left. my old phones in high school could go days without a charge. if i leave my nintendo switch on the floor for a few days doing absolutely fuck all nothing i will turn it on and it will cry to me mother i am dying. i am dying mother. and i tell him he'll never be half the man his brother was and he can't hear me because he's dead

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

dont tell any of my friends or mutuals but....their ocs are really cool.................

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

Oh! Mutual would love this post

> looks inside

>I found it because mutual rebloged it

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

Lowkey we should create a giant manmade blood device to attract ticks away from humans and its a giant blood container that pumps like a heart and emits phermones that attract ticks and mosquitos and we should call it Mother

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

do you think toby ever got inspiration from his fans

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

Same energy as "We popping the BIGGEST bottles when Makorra happens tomorrow"

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

Walking around my neighborhood wearing my sick as fuck custom T-shirt that says "I STEAL EVERY FRIENDLY CAT I MEET WITH NO REMORSE I DO IT ALL THE TIME DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK I BEEN HERE FOR YEARS KEEP THAT BEAST ENCLOSED LEST YE FACE MY LIGHTNING CAT GRASP" and smiling politely while my neighbors' indoor-outdoor cats gently trot down the sidewalk towards me as the neighbors themselves read my shirt with a growing sense of panic.

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

A wet pussy and eyes full of love 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

You cannot say that a top grossing artist is "feral" or making you "feral." You are listening to the Billboard Top 40. You are very domesticated.

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

Shout out to that guy from Florida talking to my coworker about wanting to take his sail boat through Lake Superior in November. He was planning on a little trip and my coworker was like hey man I don't know how to tell you this but you will Actually Die

*Lake Superior, in the far distance*: yes yes yes yes yes do it yes yes

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

Something funny about another wave of actors who starred in Harry Potter films coming out against the Supreme Court ruling - and therefore JK Rowling who funded the campaign.

[he-who-reads-until-dawn]

When you’re on your way home from the club but one of you almost died