He/They | Retired Sixth Ranger Streamer | 32 years https://www.twitch.tv/headlessphoenix_
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You didn't pre-order that figure that had a pre order window of 2 weeks 6 years ago and how it's $700 on ebay
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Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.
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Already know I wanna send this to people on June 1
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your unreliable narrator fucking bit me
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Sometimes fiction doesn’t have a moral to the story. Sometimes fiction points at something and goes “Ever thought about THAT???” And you look at what it’s pointing at for a bit.
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I still can't believe that Tommy "Karate" Pitera, the mafia boss who was also a karate champion and who killed people by doing karate on them, was a real person. That's not a combination of traits a real guy has. That is a Metal Gear character. That is Chuck Norris playing the heel in a Bruce Lee movie. But no, there was a time not that long ago when people on the mean streets of Brooklyn might whisper "Hey, watch out for Tommy Karate, he'll kill you with his bare hands" with the gravest seriousness.
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Do You Think God Stays in Heaven Because He too Lives in Fear of What He's Created
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Yeah I get this way whenever I buy fancy snacks for myself too
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the real danger of spending too much time with friends is you stumble out of ten days of happiness and good food like oh my god THAT was real life. my job means NOTHING
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