heart-of-wool

[heart-of-wool]

Omfg fasting is for suckers I went through all of that and I'm still 94 lbs this is bullshit

[heart-of-wool]

If I walk into one more wall I'm going to cry

[heart-of-wool]

My head hurts my head hurts I keep dropping my phone I keep dropping everything it's so tiring just typing my head hurts so bad 68 hours done only 4 left then I can weigh myself but then I have to wait for a while to eat omad noooooooooooo I went out to the kitchen and the pantry and I smelled so many things.... peanut butter and barbecue sauce and donuts and cookies.,,,,.. I can't see my eyes hurt I think they're dying

[heart-of-wool]

I'm sorry for saying so many mean things my head hurts so bad I have a headache it really hurts it's okay only 25 hours left of fasting,,,,, three day fast done soon I told you all I've been getting right,,,,,,, no appetite at all I don't know if I even want to break the fast because I don't feel good I want to sleep I'm so sleepy goodnight everyone I hope I wake up

[heart-of-wool]

Gained so much during exam season but im back down to 95 lbs I hate myself so much all for nothing because im failing my geometry class and there's only one week and two days left of school I hate myself so much I hate the world everyone is cruel every person is a horrible cruel killer everyone's a disgusting killer rapist I hate you all none of you know how much I hate you you're all disgusting I'm even more disgusting I gained up to 102 pounds during those stupid exams I'm not just disgusting I'm fat I show no restraint but I'm getting right with the world now I'm losing so quickly again I'm blessed this is meant to happen it's happening so fast can you all say the same you're not getting right why can't you all get right so we can all stop suffering I'll take all your sins on my shoulders and die for you all if that's what it takes to fix this evil world evil evil evil that's all I have to say about you all you're evil disgusting disgusting disgusting evil evil evil I hate you I hate you I hate you you you and I hate me me me now I'm all alone no one will care if I'm gone there has to be something I'm missing no one cares about me get right you all need to get right with it all everything wrong omg I hate you all I need to get down to 80 I just need to get down to 80 and I'll be somebody then I'm nobody now I've been nobody for so long I'm losing it all I'm losing it my head always hurt my eyes feel weird it hurts so bad to open my eyes my neck hurts too I always feel so nauseous I have to give it all back to god so I can be made better again because I've ruined it all

[heart-of-wool]

I'm so sad

[heart-of-wool]

Biggest lies told in 2025... I love my mom sigh look at what she does for me I really am a bad daughter

4/5/2025

Angry at people • People angry at me • Everyone is angry

Hello hello,, I know I'm posting late but I totally forgot to post last night. Yesterday was good up until dinner. I had a great omad dinner (who knew a bacon ranch queso wrap from sonic was only 390 cals???) and then my mom started talking about my eating habits. I tried to play it off as stress but idk if she believes me but now she is mad at me. So now I'm mad too,,

I don't know how to possibly hide this now because she said she would be hounding me about eating and so far she has. I still haven't eaten tho. I think if worst comes to worst I just won't care. No one can force food down my throat. So whatever ends up happening I will just continue to not eat. But maybe I won't eat dinner omad now because even though she's never done it what if she puts extra butter or oil or something in it??? She was talking about me needing calories or whatever. I don't think this is an impossible thing for someone to do.

Now I am feeling paranoid. I don't want to eat dinner if there is a chance of it being tampered with. I can hear them talking about me in the kitchen. I'm just a hellhole of stress, I'm slowly killing my mom with stress, she's going to have a heart attack or whatever she says and it'll all be my fault. I'm the worst daughter in the world. I'm not doing this to be beautiful now I'm doing this because I hate myself!!!!

That's really all I have because I'm just angry. Here is a picture of omad goodbye lots of love

[heart-of-wool]

I would be so happy if I could eat a nicely roasted pig head right now I want to take a big bite out of a crunchy ear

[heart-of-wool]

4/5/2025

Angry at people • People angry at me • Everyone is angry

Hello hello,, I know I'm posting late but I totally forgot to post last night. Yesterday was good up until dinner. I had a great omad dinner (who knew a bacon ranch queso wrap from sonic was only 390 cals???) and then my mom started talking about my eating habits. I tried to play it off as stress but idk if she believes me but now she is mad at me. So now I'm mad too,,

I don't know how to possibly hide this now because she said she would be hounding me about eating and so far she has. I still haven't eaten tho. I think if worst comes to worst I just won't care. No one can force food down my throat. So whatever ends up happening I will just continue to not eat. But maybe I won't eat dinner omad now because even though she's never done it what if she puts extra butter or oil or something in it??? She was talking about me needing calories or whatever. I don't think this is an impossible thing for someone to do.

Now I am feeling paranoid. I don't want to eat dinner if there is a chance of it being tampered with. I can hear them talking about me in the kitchen. I'm just a hellhole of stress, I'm slowly killing my mom with stress, she's going to have a heart attack or whatever she says and it'll all be my fault. I'm the worst daughter in the world. I'm not doing this to be beautiful now I'm doing this because I hate myself!!!!

That's really all I have because I'm just angry. Here is a picture of omad goodbye lots of love

[heart-of-wool]

when i’ve had nothing all day so i have enough c@ls to spare for a sweet treat

[heart-of-wool]

La chica delgada son las que elijen de modelos, las que deleitan vistas, de las que hablan en canciones y peliculas, son las que se mueven con gracia, las que pueden ser cargadas y abrazadas con delicadeza, son las que las que dominan en las tallas de ropa, son las de aura divina. ¿No deseas todo esto?

[heart-of-wool]

Ana April is upon us,make ana proud she has been there for you,she wants to see you win she wants to see you thin she wants to see you prettier don’t let her down she’s been counting on you,ana loves you she is comfort she is power she is thin itself and through her you will be.

[heart-of-wool]

4/4/2025

Feeling better about omad • Not feeling better about symptoms • Can't think

Hello!!!!! I've been so so out of it... good thing maybe because that means it's working!!!!! Bad thing because I feel very bad,, anyways, I'm a big fat liar and I couldn't help myself so I weighed in today instead of Sunday... today I am 93.2 lbs! Wowow!!! Passed the first goal weight of 95lbs!!! The next gw is 90!! 3.2lbs for that, shouldn't take very long, maybe a week or so if there's no plateauing.

I am finding it very hard to think..... my brain is very empty. I feel like I'm walking through a dream,, and I keep running into everything. Need to support myself on walls or objects when I'm standing still. Constantly feeling so lightheaded and tired. It's okay for now because I haven't been able to go to school because of all this storming outside. But when I am back at school I don't know what I'll do,, Also I've been feeling very cold. One of my least favorite symptoms is ana freeze.... I hate being cold.

Today I got out of bed and felt very nauseous. I almost vomited and could barely walk.... had to lay down on the cold floor for a bit before being able to stand. My face felt very numb. Everything I do is at a snail's pace, I'm sooooooo slow. I don't know how many cals I eat during dinner omad, but it's definitely not much...

And that's a good thing!!! So I've been feeling much better about omad. Looking at how much I've lost, already passed the first gw.... I think dinner omad is going well. Also I've found a new love for iced drinks and pouring my Diet Coke into a tall glass. No more cans of half finished colas lying around now, plus fun foam drinking. I got to eat another mini cupcake for dinner..... I have a very big sweet tooth. I love sugar and sweetness!!!! Luckily, we have plenty of sweets around the house, so I have lots of options for dessert. Lifesaver mints are only 15 cals each, so I could eat one or two, maybe even three!!! We have those little dumdum lollipops, only I think 40 cal, I could eat one for dessert,, lots of popsicles which are low cal, lowest cal popsicles are 15 cal pedialyte ones, highest cal are I think around 90 cal pineapple ones, all viable desserts!!! Even one Oreo is 90, so I could eat one if I wanted.

I know that dessert is kind of fat behavior, but... I would like to have some happiness. With this illness, you have to find little things that make you happy, and those who don't often, to be very blunt, кiII тнемsеlves so i will find things to be happy for. I get so excited for it, I was so excited for the cupcake this morning, I had to smell them for a little bit... smells so so delicious. A nice delicious dinner and a nice delicious dessert makes me so happy. Something to look forward to,, I just wish it wasn't so late in the day, because when I did 5pm lunch omad I was only suffering a few hours in the morning and okay for the rest of the day. Dinner omad... it's okay.

I am seeing noticeable improvements in how I look!!!! I can see my ribcage even when relaxed, hipbones are clear to see, collarbones look divine,, smaller waist is very nice, and I'm looking much smaller from the side, much thinner. I'm still feeling fat in some areas, stomach, arms, legs,, if you can pinch it, you can lose it, so I am working on losing it.

I think that's all for today. I don't know when I'll weigh myself again, maybe actually Sunday this time. I liked the big decrease in weight this morning, it made me very happy. So, let's hope for more weight loss for me and you if you'd like, lots and lots of love, heart-of-wool ♥️🐑

Also here's a pic of what i ate for dinner tonight (minus mini cupcake)!!

[heart-of-wool]

You can lie to yourself, but the scale won’t lie to you

[heart-of-wool]

4/3/2025

Symptoms • Cravings • Weather

Hello hello!!!!!! Today there is no weigh in. I decided to wait until I think Sunday to weigh in. Today was weird... the weather has been so awful. My street is totally flooded so no school today. I've been so sleepy and light headed all day. That's a good thing, because that means the amount I'm eating is little enough to work.

Today my omad was a bit of wonton soup. I also had a mini cupcake for desert. The cupcake was 90, and the rest is estimated 250+ cals. So not too too bad.... I'm not feeling horrible about it and I'm not feeling super fat so that's good!!

I don't know if I'll be able to go to school tomorrow. The weather is really awful. I'm happy about cupcakes. I don't get nice low cal treats like that much and I'm not a binger so I don't have to worry about it at all. One every day or two after dinner is enough!!!! It's something to look forwards to so I'm happy!!!

I've had lots of cravings for sugar and sweetness lately. I would love lots of chocolate and cakes and I would really enjoy a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.... anything sweet really... but that's just too bad for me!!!! I can eat one sweet thing a day if I get one, and if it doesn't fit into my cals then I can either omad it or not get it at all!

I think not eating is very simple,,, you just don't do it!!! If I want it badly... I can smell it, but I just don't eat it!!!!! To eat something you have to make the choice to eat it, pick it up, put it in your mouth,.,, isn't it so simple to just not do that? So I don't!!!!! Even if I kind of want to..... I watch those eating sweets mukbangs. It's okay though!!!

I don't have much else to say. I feel kind of weak and I don't even want to type much because I'm so tired. Lots of love, heart-of-wool!! ♥️🐑

[heart-of-wool]

PERFECTION IS ACHIEVED THROUGH CONSISTENCY

PERFECTION IS ACHIEVED THROUGH CONSISTENCY

PERFECTION IS ACHIEVED THROUGH CONSISTENCY

PERFECTION IS ACHIEVED THROUGH CONSISTENCY

[heart-of-wool]

4/2/2025

I'm fat

I don't really know what to say.... I haven't weighed in because I'm so nervous. I've suffered trying to count cals with the ai scanning of a few different things, and every one estimated 400-500+ I'm genuinely so obese. I don't know if I'll be able to handle dinner omad any more. I will have to exercise very very intensely. I can't take it much longer I feel so so big like this, I want the comfort of my oatmeal and tuna and apple and egg!!!!!!! I think tomorrow I won't eat dinner and I'll try my old omad. I don't know, all I know is that I'm probably getting so so very fat by the way let me know how much you think this is I didn't eat all of the chicken I mostly just ate the skin and a bit of the meat messy update because I'm so frazzled over this lots of love heart of wool