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it's good that we're saying "i don't feel guilty about pleasure im not Catholic" but we also need to start saying "i don't feel self-righteous about being overworked I'm not Puritan"

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Actually, I have a really complicated relationship with the word “love” because of how christians twist and redefine it. They say, “love isn’t a feeling, it’s an action,” and I might agree with them, except that what they actually mean is, “love is doing what I think is best for you, despite or even against your own wishes.” They mean, “love is coercion” and “love has no boundaries” and “love needs no consent.” They mean, “I know best,” they mean, “I won’t listen,” they mean, “I will hurt you if I think your behavior, your being, your nonconformity justifies it, and I will tell you it’s for your own good.” And everyone’s a sinner, so everyone, in a sense, is fair game. But most especially the heretic, the lapsed, the queer, the addict, the slut, the nonbeliever, the racialized & criminalized & poor. They say, “god is love,” and “god knows best,” and “I am god’s hands.” And they say, “god loves you, whether you want it or not.”

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Have that pathetic crying session. It will save you

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Say what you will, but Satan never threatened to burn me alive forever for not loving him.

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re-shunning

saw this post at just the right time... OP describes her family's toxic cycle of shunning her then wanting her back in their life then shunning her again, over and over, as a 'yo-yo' effect and unacceptable emotional abuse. she plans on cutting ties for good, now that she has a child.

and yeah i just... feel so comforted by this. it's very grounding to know it's not just me dealing with family that does this. these people really think it's okay to abandon you... again and again and again... just because their cult leadership says it's fine. i don't have a child, but my inner child is in so much pain waiting for them to leave, and is so devastated every time. it's happened twice already! and though i never let any of them back in as close as before... now that i sense a third time coming up? i already have decided that i will be cutting off all family members who have never apologized for how much harm they did.

it's that simple. they are willing to hurt me on purpose. and that is just not OK.

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Any other Ex-JW artists find their realistic art style is unreasonably influenced by My Book of Bible Stories and Learn From the Great Teacher, or is it just me?

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So I was scrolling ExJW Reddit…

WHAT DO YOU MEAN TOASTING AND BIRTHDAYS AND HOLIDAYS ARE A MATTER OF CONSCIENCE

I suffered being an outcast for my entire life only for them to go “teehee it’s your decision” immediately after I got to leave

I mean I’m glad they’re changing for the sake of harm reduction but at least apologize to us old people first jesus fucking christ

EDIT: THEY UN-BANNED ORAL AND ANAL SEX WHAT THE HELL

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Love does not intentionally hurt another human.

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“A meek person is willing to make difficult changes when provided concrete proof that cherished beliefs are wrong” so none of you then…or is it that if you don't look the evidence doesn't exist? Lol. Lmao even

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jws can toast / clink glasses together now apparently

previously not allowed bc it was originally a practice meant to dispel evil spirits or whatever, but now it "doesn't hold that meaning in today's culture" so it's fine to do (unless it personally upsets your conscience)

like. lol. lmao even.

utterly fascinated at all the things being changed lately but the reasoning on this one is really standing out to me. so like as long as enough time has passed that the origins of any particular practice have been forgotten by mainstream society, it's totally cool to partake in it right? how long until jws are allowed to say "bless you" when someone sneezes? if we all collectively choose to forget that john the baptist was beheaded can we get birthdays back on the table??

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i can truly relate to this it's so hard... last christmas i spent 100% alone and offline and it really hit me that yes the cult was cruel but it prevented us from forming other connections. and making new connections from scratch, figuring out who to trust who likes you etc. is hard enough as a person with a healthy upbringing... it's even harder as a person with a past and with triggers so few others understand or can empathize with.

i don't know you op, but deeply hoping you find your people. 🤍 in the five years i've been "physically out mentally out" i've only made three long term long distance connections from scratch, that have lasted. most new friendships don't last, and that's normal for everyone but it's so hard when you have so little. (the friendships that have worked out best are those i've reunited with who are also ex-jw!) not sure of any of this helps but just want to send some encouragement and 'i hear you, hang in there' sentiments your way x

god. I’ve always known it would be hard but I didn’t think I’d be alone for this long. It’s been years on my own after being shunned, and I’m still just that: on my own. I desperately need close connection I need PEOPLE in my life. People I can talk to.

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I found something I'd be unreasonable offended by when I PIMI lol

"they're marketing coffee to kid what's next!?! Alcohol? Drugs? Sex? Think of the children"

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you absolutely must choose yourself this time

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Some months ago I was talking with my dad about how leaving was traumatic for me, and he didn’t get it really, but it’s like… Dude, once I left I didn’t see or speak to 70-90% of the people I was raised around, ever again. I didn’t hear from anyone. The mother of two childhood friends died last month and the last time I saw her was on a Sunday five years ago. That’s traumatic man!

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so much has changed since i last needed this blog. i got out of that household. i made new friends, i dated, i networked... i have a community now of nonreligious lgbt friendships... (not a group! but several individual people who can see me... whose actions show me they care...) i've even hashed things out and had difficult conversations with family who are pomo and pimo that eventually reached out to me... who apologized... and managed to build a new relationship with them from scratch... meanwhile, i hear watchtower has changed their rules, to avoid being held accountable for all the pain and death they are responsible for. beards are okay now? and so is women wearing pants. talking to disfellowshipped family members is 'no big deal' when just two years ago it meant you were in league with satan himself. i hear rumors that they're even lightening up on speaking down on queer people... it's baffling. and i wish i felt relieved for all the lives that that will save... but i don't. it feels like they're getting a better mask. that everyone suffering will be even less believed now. and also, it feels like... i do not really care as much as before. my jw family is talking to me again, after ignoring me while i almost died. but to me, they are permanently apathetic and cruel. i don't respect them. i don't miss them. so. i don't always care. i feel so much more at home in my body, my clothing, my hair, my experiences. i've had romantic relationships, i've gone to secular celebrations and funerals. healing is this wonderful thing to experience, tangibly. but healing is also... so un-fucking-linear... i find myself just stopping sometimes, wracked with exhaustion... full of grief and anger... and suddenly i miss everybody. but i'm confronting this sense that nothing that has happened to me can ever be made right. best i can do is breathe. cry. journal. cry. work out. cry. vent to my therapist. take my meds. cry. try to counteract injustice whenever i can... cry... and honestly? caring about others will always feel as easy as breathing. caring about myself is finally starting to feel easy too. i can admit i feel discouraged, demoralized. i can hug myself tight, let emotions rock through me. i can keep it moving. i know the world keeps spinning. i am so far ahead from where i was. and even if where i want to be still feels so far, it is objectively closer than it's ever been.