heldrish

[heldrish]

4am or so

wake up, facetime you

It’s time you, tell the truth

follow your heart, it’s what I do

ain’t playing this year, that’s how we do

And you always knew

In you, I get away

From these problems

“Don’t call him..” I bet your friends say

But baby, it ain’t Monday

Keep your clothes on

but still open up, and trust

“You’re too much” I know

I been told before

Idk

[heldrish]

How could you, break my heart in half

despite all my past

tell these drugs I’m bacc, tonight

how could you not forget my past

2 pills down, you’re taking my time

Praying for a sign

Write your name on a bullet, You going through my mind

Fake love, fake trust, fake friends

I know, what it’s like to be alone

I want you and you know

How could you, break my heart in half

despite all my past

tell these drugs I’m bacc, tonight

How could you play with me

feels ecstacy

But you don’t wanna settle, down with me..

You’re used to heart breaks, I see

but I need.. I need need

somebody to love, somebody to trust

It ain’t easy I know, I kno’

I ain’t the one that u want

this ain’t love, tf did you thought

Disney isn’t a place for a girl like u

[heldrish]

please be clingy with me i need it

[heldrish]

sometimes i wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river

[heldrish]

Carry On

I fucking hate to be awake at night.

My demons come out to the light, I don’t feel like being alive.

All I do is hurt myself more.. I’m destroying myself. Please someone kill me. I wait for the end..

[heldrish]

1:01 🌙

When I’m with you, everything feels so amazing. The birds sing so beautifully. Your eyes shine like the sun shines. Everything is so calm. But at the moment you go away from me... life becomes my biggest nightmare. I love myself but I just don’t wanna go through this pain anymore. I don’t wanna be alive but I won’t kill myself.

I just don’t know what to do.. I need help, I need comfort, I need love. I am in need of everything you could offer. You’re the only one who inspires me to continue with life. The only one who loves me. The only one who would probably do anything to see me happy.

What can I do to keep on going? I’m just a 17 year old who doesn’t have a job. All I do is go to school everyday and I do almost every sport you could think of. I’m a good athlete, that’s all I’m good at. What can I do? Who do I go to? Where do I go to? I don’t know. I just don’t know.