helioooss

[helioooss]

what other things do you collect besides those figurines? also what are ur thoughts on normal people by salley rooney?

i collect perfume and legos and 0/5 hot wheels lmaoooo

i enjoyed reading normal people - beautiful, complex characters and so hauntingly human. there’s class disparity between the two, which imo is the main root of their unhealthy connection.

knew i had to get therapy after reading and watching it, goes to show you can’t find love in other people if you don’t leave any for yourself.

[helioooss]

life update

[helioooss]

LOL @ everyone freaking out over lara being on tumblr when there is literally a filipina in the group. we are wattpad and tumblr enjoyers!!!!! CHANCES ARE SOPHIA IS HERE KEEPING TABS ON YOU 👀

i hate that i didn’t think of this, like this should’ve been my own thought from my own brain. i agree with you though, the only person i feel would be brave enough to read fanfics is piya

[helioooss]

Hi heliossss, why don’t you write smut? I feel like you’d be good at it bahaha

ahh, i don’t feel comfortable at the thought of it - i can’t think of people i don’t know in that way. respect to the writers that do, though <3

[helioooss]

SO you cook? what’s your favorite thing to make?

my first real job was in a restaurant and i was one of the (miserable) cooks, head chef was an alcoholic who made us take whiskey shots at the start of shift.

my favourite thing to make is this pasta i forgot the name of:

sauce: tomato paste, 300ml of cooking cream, 150ml of water, a fuckton of romano, a sprinkle of parmigiano, salt and pepper to taste

lots of garlic, add spinach, cherry tomatoes, throw some dried basil in too. paprika for colour if that shit looks pale. ++ chilli flakes if you’re not white

pan-fried chicken breast. butterfly and coat it in whatever fucking spices first plzzzz

whichever pasta you prefer. dip the chicken in the sauce for a good 15 minutes once made (like on low heat in the pot). if you’ve plated it and you’re feeling bold enough, throw a tablespoon of straciatella on top then garnish with dried basil (or fresh or fried) and chilli flakes

i’ve had an ex break no-contact just to ask for this chicken pasta recipe, i told her to get fucked

[helioooss]

where’s the chicken pasta recipe??? i want to try it

i’ll reblog it for you!

[helioooss]

hi my babyyyy

i tried your chicken pasta recipe and it was fucking amazing. do you have easy breakfast recipes by any chance? would love to try another one :))

i’m glad you liked it! hmmm, with breakfast (only if i’m feeling fancy, usually just have a morning coffee), i rotate between these four:

1. butter croissant, cut in half. one side is a spread of cream cheese, the other with basil pesto. add tomatoes, hot honey ham (any kind of deli meat will do tbh but the heat balances the heaviness of the cream cheese)

2. butter croissant, cut in half. add basil pesto on both sides. then, cut cherry tomatoes, bocconcini and arugula. glaze this with gourmet balsamic vinegar (it’s literally called a gourmet glaze and is thicker than the normal one); either in the sandwich or the plate

3. this one’s my all time favourite — buttered sourdough, dill and garlic yoghurt, poached eggs. top with crispy sweet potatoes and krunchilli. you can add any leafy greens with this. and i usually love adding spanish chorizo with it

4. simpler one: sourdough, cottage cheese, sliced or smashed avocados and eggs over medium. add a fuckton of salt and pepper

[helioooss]

WOOOAAHHH HELI YOU CAN’T JUST DROP THOSE TEASER BANGERS WITHOUT NOTICE 😟😟🙏🙏🙏😍… i can smell the pain and yearning in those teasers btw

🦐🦐🦐 do u remember me 🤔

hi shrimpy!!! i do remember you, its been awhile

and i got bored last night, i’m sorryyyyy

[helioooss]

these are the fics that will never see light of day anytime soon…all katseye.

1. your song, part three (completed, just too lazy to find sophia photos and too scared to commit)

2. college au — sophia’s pretty fucking mean (80% complete)

3. divorced exes stuck with each other (40% complete)

4. sophia is going through it and wants to break up with reader, but the latter has no clue (60% complete)

5. short story - meeting daniela again after a breakup. reader has bad anxiety. the idea came during a rough week…so the entire thing’s just about my thoughts tbh (90% complete)

6. daniela runs away from the fame and meets reader in a small aussie town (70% complete)

7. VAMPHIA, my favourite. worked on it for a long ass time and then lost interest. (very long fic, only 70% complete)

8. sophia and y/n were once hollywood’s favourite couple. they’re forced to work together when they’re casted as the main characters for lara upcoming’s film

[helioooss]

yearning but in a filipino way where i’m lying on a duyan and listening to love songs through a tinny radio

[helioooss]

a little rant if that’s okay, ive just been going through so much recently and it helps when i get my feelings out

ive been feeling so much parasocial longing towards aespa, jimin or winter mostly. i long and yearn for them, to where i wanna be friends with them. i want to know them outside of their entertainment industry, their workplace. i want to build a bond that isnt fan based. it’s stupid, it’s unrealistic, and impossible.

the sane part of me, that little voice in my head, whispers, “this is unhealthy. these idols are better off as concepts than as something more. if it was meant to be, you would already be in that industry, or have connections to them”. i find myself wanting to get closer to them, such as training and learning something that would someday make us cross paths in a professional environment so it isn’t weird, but i know it was never meant to be to begin with. yet, i can’t seem to stop myself from aching and yearning for something. it hurts even more knowing that it’s not real love, and i don’t know them, they don’t know i exist.

worst part, this feeling hit me like a wrecking ball. i had been fine, until now. ive liked twice for a while, and aespa as well since debut. it was never like this. up until the dirty work release, everything was okay. i had gotten back from vacation and was awfully jetlagged, so i took time for myself to rest and spend some time on my phone. then it suddenly hit me, this feeling of grief and yearning for them. i feel so depressed and sick. i hate feeling this way, because the sane part of me tells me everything, “they don’t know you exist. you will someday find love and dedication that is reciprocated”, and the pain just starts all over again. the feeling that, these people exist in the world but you will never ever make contact with them on a personal level. they will forever be this concept you see online. i hate this feeling. i hate myself for it. i dont want it.

wow, this is quite heavy and folks get really mean about parasocial fans…which, sometimes, is needed, you know?

i’d say this is just another season in your life - it will pass, like things often do. but the more you feed that longing, the more you anchor yourself to something you can’t have.

it’s important to acknowledge that your mind is playing tricks on you, there’s probably a gap in your life that longs for connection and warmth and your brain latched to the easiest fantasy. you’re in a hole and you need to get out and snap the fuck out of whatever trance you’re in. starve your stimulus - block them on everything if you have to.

lastly, live your life and yearn for wonderful humans who actually have space for you in their lives because you have two choices right now:

1. you can either keep nursing this ache until it rots your real life

2. you can put it down and start building something better for yourself today

anyway, i love you and i’m sorry if that was a little mean.

[helioooss]

also…the way you all came to tell me all about lara is so adorable. i miss you already 🤍

helios did you see that lara might be on tumblr? we told you someone recommended your account to her

hehe

she better tell sophia i can cook and clean; play housewife if need be

also, thanks for all your well wishes everyone! still undecided whether i should keep the stories public or not

[helioooss]

did she say anything about it? should be all good if she didn’t

helios did you see that lara might be on tumblr? we told you someone recommended your account to her

hehe

she better tell sophia i can cook and clean; play housewife if need be

also, thanks for all your well wishes everyone! still undecided whether i should keep the stories public or not

[helioooss]

helios did you see that lara might be on tumblr? we told you someone recommended your account to her

hehe

she better tell sophia i can cook and clean; play housewife if need be

also, thanks for all your well wishes everyone! still undecided whether i should keep the stories public or not

[helioooss]

oh to be loved the way you write about love

i hope you find a love that is patient and kind to you, exactly how it’s meant to be. don’t you ever settle for less 🫵

[helioooss]

i was v confused when google told me mors non est finis meant "no bite is finished"

it's not french tho is it.

it’s a latin phrase which means ‘death is not the end’. it’s so fitting for the angsty ending, isn’t it? i have it tattooed on me

[helioooss]

soooooo incredibly grateful for blessing us with your work and for free too. i cant even begin to tell you how much i love them, i love feeling new things when i read it 😻 what are some things you’re grateful for today?

aww, this made me smile. today, i’m grateful for:

waking up and having a meal with my family

abundant wine

having the choice to sign up to become an organ donor

all 1,400+ of you