hellboundbutsleepingsound

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

liberal muslims ‘understand not everyone in a muslim household has the same liberty as you’ challenge. liberal muslims stop undermining and speaking over people hurt by the very ones who follow the same religion as you do. liberal muslims understand we can have a simultaneous conversation about islamophobia + violent bigotedness and the essence of islam + the harm it does to many people whose voices and stories are not heard for fear of being labeled islamophobe.

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

hey just came to update: religious people are still out there being Dummy Stupid as Fuck Thick 

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

sometimes i think about how different my life would be, had i not been raised in this religious cage. i think about the opportunities i could have had, the happier i would have been, the better life i could have led. i think about the comfort of having supportive parents, ones that know who you are and not just the perfect outer shell they expect of you. i think about how less damaged i would be, how much better i would be equipped for dealing with the outside world. now it’s time to grow up and i’ve spent so much of my life disconnected from society and hiding myself from people who’d harm me if they knew what i truly felt and i’m so scared. i’m plagued by the thought ‘it would be so much better if i just...stopped existing’. but i don’t want to die. i’m just tired of every single day feeling like a struggle, every single a vacuum that i have to exist in until...better days come. until i can leave. but it seems so far away and some days, it’s so tempting to give up. the irony is though that i am terrified of dying. i don’t believe in manipulative allah but the concept of hell is drilled into muslim kids before they can even go to school, no? do this, do that or else...and my family have always been quite descriptive with the wonderful punishments allah has waiting for sinners and non believers. it makes me wince so hard when i hear them telling my younger siblings. bc at this moment it’s just a ploy to get them to obey allah or whatever. but when they’re older and can reason for themselves, when the gravity of following islamic rules or going to hell sinks in, how many of them will be scarred and plagued with gruesome nightmares like me? how many of them will find it hard to sleep and recite shahada before they sleep...just in case they die in their sleep and hell is actually real? i feel helpless and anxious. anyway i’ve digressed so much but i always think of the life i could have had had this one not been robbed from me. sometimes that anger motivates me. to work hard for myself and get away. to come to a point in my life where i’ve completed my education and can support myself and live out of their abusive clutches. but most days it’s crushing and i can’t function. these dark days seem endless. 

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

i can never stress how frustrating it is trying to explain to ‘modern’ or ‘liberal’ muslims how islam has oppressed you when they’re dead set on their ‘islam is peace/islam is liberal’ narrative and even refuse the to entertain the idea that their perfect religion is a fraction less than so. they always go back to blaming the victim, “no it’s how you chose to act, how you chose to live, your family was like that, not every muslim family” and yet how many people that grew up in muslim families, especially female, have the same stories to share, the same oppressive lifestyle they were subjected to? but stay willfully blind and deaf i guess. ignorance is bliss.

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

hello, it’s that time of the year again where it’s even more unbearable living with muslims and i’m here to post about how awful it is every single day

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

miracle stories

it's funny how my mom tells me "real miracle stories" of people being punished/rewarded on earth before they even get to the afterlife in hopes of getting me to be more religious. the most recent one is of a girl who started listening to music at the age of ten and apparently that pissed off allah so the girl got cancer and her body started rotting(?her words, not mine) and we should stay away from music because it's the devil's instrument. yeah mom, your god is nasty and punishes ten year old girls. for music. totally makes me wanna worship him more.

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

AMAZING

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

finding the beauty in everything, especially the littler things, will help make life so much brighter

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

One of the greatest prison people live in is the fear of the wrath from an invisible being in the sky.

(via question-everythinng)

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

Now we’re just two strangers. Who once knew each other very well.

wyddershyns  (via wnq-writers)

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

Overly strict parenting creates sneakier kids. Punishing your kids for telling the truth creates better liars. Or people more afraid to tell the truth than to tell a lie. Invading your children’s privacy creates lifelong crippling trust issues. Over pressuring you child to succeed creates life long anxiety. And when failing those expectations destroys their self confidence. Ignoring your children can create emotional dependency and abandonment issues.

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

i watched this a while back and my heart just broke. some people on this planet are so despicable. that woman’s son pissed me off the most

I just watched this documentary. It’s about what the domestic workers in the Middle East go through. The kafala system needs to stop.

[The Secret Slaves of The Middle East - https://youtu.be/jb_pBhWi1YM]

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

#GrowingUpWithStrictParents

- All jokes turn into a lecture, and get mad when you don’t joke around with them.

- I literally can’t change in my own room cause I’m too scared one of my parents are going to barge in my room without knocking

- Having to use headphones every time you’re on the internet to avoid parents coming in and making you turn the computer off.

- Dealing with their hypocrisy. Like no joke, my mom told me all I have to do is eat, sleep, and study for the rest of my life, so I wouldn’t waste my life.

- When one thing goes awry in the house, all hell breaks loose.

- Saying no to all your friends’ invites because your parents won’t let you.

- Learning to lie automatically because there was no privacy in your life.

- Literally rules about rules

-  "I always love you, but I expect you to behave in this way,“ or, “I know you can do better.’”

- Yelling about how stupid you are, but then expect you to be happy two seconds after.

- Complain that you don’t study enough, even if your grades are perfect

- Complain you don’t eat enough, but call you fat.

- Scarce communication.

- Nagging. Dear lord, the NAGGING

- Not allowed to do the things you want, just what they want.

- When you do get to hang out with your friends, you need to collect all their parents’ phone numbers.

- Getting really confused when you see your friends get to go wherever they want.

- Doing all of your work just so you won’t need to experience the horror of your parents yelling at you.

- All your decisions were made for you

- Making you study certain subjects so you’ll be what they want you to be when you grow up. 

*All these points are from personal experiences* 

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

do u ever daydream about decorating ur first apartment bc i do

[hellboundbutsleepingsound]

no offense but as someone who often had to be veiled/wear ‘modest’ clothing (hair coverings, long skirts, long sleeved shirts) for her religion,,,,, like ,,,,, i really kind of hate head coverings/the hijab/whatever else. not that i hate women who i see wearing it and like if its your choice to wear a fuckin niqab then sure. go for it. do your thing. 

but ive heard too many stories from ex muslim women about how they were forced to cover themselves and faced possibly being thrown out of their homes if they took it off. like you can’t fuckin tell me ‘oh its just a choice!!!!!!’ when you look at all the abuse and discrimination and literal murder that women who choose to unveil themselves face. 

and i know the rhetoric thats used to defend the hijab/other ‘modest’ clothing. i was raised in the extreme fundamentalist catholic church which frankly isn’t that different from islam. at least when it comes to doctrine on modesty. that women’s bodies are ‘pure and sacred and should be covered.’ that the hijab/modest dress is used to ‘protect and honor women.’ in my religion i was told that i had to cover my hair when i went into church because it was too distracting for the men in the church to see my hair. i was told that if i didn’t dress modestly, i committed a sin not only by dressing immodestly but also by tempting the men who saw me. that i was responsible for their lustful thoughts towards me. i was told this when i was as young as nine, ten, eleven years old. i took this shit to heart. i really believed in it. and for years and years i really did willingly dress modestly, because i didn’t know anything else. but once i (thankfully) got out of that religion, it felt so liberating to be able to wear whatever i wanted and not worry about whether my skirt came to my knees, or whether my neckline was two fingers’ width below the base of my collarbone. To be able to not feel guilty about “well the OFFICIAL guideline of the church says that shirt sleeves should come to the elbow but it’s so hot today i hope i don’t go to hell for wearing this t-shirt :/” like ,,,,, i honest to god do not believe that a woman who is really raised as a free, independent person will want to cover herself head to toe in cloth and hide herself away from the rest of the world. like, think whatever you want but to me the image of a veiled woman, of a woman dressed modestly, is not the image of a free and independent and liberated woman. the two are not equivalent. the two are antithetical to each other. ‘modest’ dress has nothing to do with women’s liberation. the hijab, the catholic church’s standards of dress for women, whatever religious dress code instated by men to control women that you can think of (there are so many!!!!!!) none of them are liberating and none of them deserve to be defended as liberal or progressive.