helloderrling-blog

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The waiting game - New Transfer date

A long overdue hello to you all.

Things on our end are going well - albeit crazy. I’m loving my new job and my new team - and have the opportunity to travel to Amsterdam with them in May for a conference!

Because traveling that long after transferring embryos is a no no - we’ve had to push our date again.

The new date for transfer is June 18.

Things are still going well - focused on protein intake - herbs - acupuncture and all the things. Now it’s just a matter of time.

More to come soon!

[helloderrling-blog]

Micro-Update

We were supposed to do our embryo transfer today but unfortunately we’ve had to push back to March / April.

I’ve started a new job with an amazing team - but the company isn’t as kind with their maternity benefits as my previous one.

In order to get my piddly 2 weeks of paid maternity leave and qualify for FMLA - I have to be employed a full year. So we have to time the implantation to deliver just after mid January of 2019 in order to take advantage of our benefits.

So - we are on a holding pattern for awhile... focusing on health and nutrition and making changes to the house to get ready for our wee ones.

I have acupuncture tomorrow and can’t wait!

More to come!

[helloderrling-blog]

Polyp removal and Embryo sexes!!!

First, the happy stuff. Because of the genetic testing we are able to determine the sexes of the healthy embryos. We have two boys and one girl!!! We would be thrilled with any combo and while we are grateful to have this information - our prayers and energy remain focused on a healthy pregnancy and healthy little one - no matter how they pee.

Now for the less exciting bit:

During my mock transfer - the doctor discovered a small (5mm) polyp inside my uterus. This little bastard has to come out before firstbaby can go in. Should the polyp break off or get torn etc it would cause bleeding and that would be bad for firstbaby.

I’ll post an update tomorrow after I’m out and at home resting. Would appreciate any prayers, good vibes, happy juju you could throw my way.

Good night, beloveds.

[helloderrling-blog]

You can save your stink eye for someone else...

My sweet T and I went to go see “The Shape of Water” - and missed our doctors call about the genetic test results. (p.s. That movie is stunning - go see it.)

As we are sitting in the theater I have my hand over my phone trying to read the voicemail translation - once I see the phrase “calling with your results” I am up and out of my seat with a quickness.

On my way down the aisle - I get the stink eye from some clown who is frustrated that I’ve obstructed his view for 2 seconds while I pass. I whisper “save it for someone else piss pants!” (I don’t even know where I got piss pants - it just came out)

Later - I’ll delight you with a list of things not to say or do to a woman going through IVF - on that list will be “Give her the stink eye while she tries to be respectful and leave the theater to check on the status of her embryos she’s sacrificed just about everything to get”

After some finagling I was able to log into our patient portal (which is like hacking into Ft.Knox when using a cell phone - RESPONSIVE DESIGN PEOPLE!) to read her message and nearly knocked someone over with my sudden jumps of excitement.

THREE! THREE! THREE!

What does that mean?

Well, out of the 4 blastocysts we sent out for genetic testing, 3 came back and are good to go! Meaning, 3 of them have the right amount of chromosomes. The company we used is called EmbryVu - give them a google and I’m sure they can explain it better than I can.

The fourth came back inconclusive which means, it may need to be retested at a later date.

The take away here is this is AWESOME NEWS!

Note: The point of the testing is NOT to identify down’s syndrome babies. It IS to identify the embryos most likely to make it to a live birth. (I had someone tell me “Well at least you won’t have a downs baby”)

We are HERE for the babies y’all. All of em. Babies with Downs are true gifts, as are all little ones, and should God bless us with literally any baby we would be grateful. We trust that this journey and (hopefully) the child/ren we end up with is/are part of a larger plan. There’s only room for love and gratitude. The end.

[helloderrling-blog]

A moment of silence... for my lady bits and baby room

Today we did the mock transfer. A process I describe in the previous post.

Everything went well, our doctor was amazing as always. She did find a polyp which has to be removed before we can transfer - so I’ll have to undergo a polectomy sometime between now and mid January.

This process is done with a little tool that swoops in and cuts it out of your uterus, and requires sedation.

And let me just take a moment to talk about sedation.

Sedation, is proof that Jesus loves us y’all. Because let me say this to you, having robots and hands and ultrasound wands and catheters and speculums paraded in and out of your lady garden on the reg is uncomfortable at best and take-your-breath-away painful at worst.

During todays procedure I had a moment where everything went white and I thought I might pass out - but we got through it.

So tonight in your prayers, please have a moment of silence and send some love to my uterus, and to all the nurse anethicists out there who administer sweet and holy sedation.

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of a vaginal ultrasound or a mock embryo transfer - take a gander at the tools of the trade below - and then, please join me in another moment of silence for my gumba pot.

[helloderrling-blog]

Mock transfer day!!

Today is mock transfer day! Our doctor will go through the process of embryo transfer using (what I think is) a salene solution. This allows her to take measurements and see if there is anything that needs to be accounted for in my uterus etc.

We have sent our 4 blastocysts off for genetic testing. This allows us to select the embryos with the right amount of chromosomes for implantation.

We should hear the results at the end of this week, mid next week.

Also, side note - I resigned from my job yesterday and am very excited about the future.

Lots going on! Bring on 2018!

[helloderrling-blog]

Egg Update and ER Visit

So a few days ago we learned that we have a total of 4 blastocysts that have been biopsied, frozen and sent off for genetic testing.

That’s great! I’ll take 4 - and according to our doctor they all looked to be in good shape!

In other news - I’m a slow healer. The procedure left me with some pretty serious abdominal pain which is finally all resolved.

Over the last few days I’ve had some chest pain in my right shoulder. It hurts when I inhale, sneeze or laugh, and I can’t sleep because I can’t lay comfortably.

So today - I saw my regular doctor who I love, she sent me to urgent care for a chest x-ray, urgent care found some elevated blood levels that they feared meant I had a blood clot, so they sent me to the ER for a CT scan.

So today I’ve had:

3 blood pulls and 1 IV IN THE SAME ARM

1 chest x-ray

1 CT scan

1 pregnancy test (really guys???)

1 EKG

1 vaginal ultrasound

1 abdominal ultrasound

3 freezing stethoscopes

3 different doctors hands on/in various places of my body

3 different gowns

3 times getting dressed and undressed

I’m mentally/emotionally exhausted.

The determination? Nope.

Everything came back normal. So we will count our blessings, load up on ibuprofen and pray for a few solid hours of sleep.

Please say a prayer that the doctor who reviewed my CT scans this eve didn’t miss anything.

Sleep well friends

[helloderrling-blog]

Sunday Blastocyst Update!

2 have already been biopsied and frozen.

The remaining 6 were not quite ready yet but we suspect they will be tomorrow - and our doctor said she would call us then.

Next steps after all are frozen and biopsied are genetic testing - more to come about that soon.

[helloderrling-blog]

Coming down off of the hormones makes me want to go and hide. I’ve had very little response emotionally to them (except for one or two unavoidable go-to-pieces). I wish I could wear a sticker that said “I’m really sorry if I snap at you, my body is readjusting after weeks of hormones! I’m sure you’re lovely. Have a nice day!” So instead I’m going to do like one of our sweet cats pictured above (she hasn’t quite mastered hide and seek). I might be in my paper bag for a bit.

[helloderrling-blog]

Post retrieval nighttime meds. I can’t wait to when I get back to just taking vitamins.

[helloderrling-blog]

I hope my eggs are warm enough...

There’s a weird feeling that comes after realizing a part of you and your love is not within arms reach. I find myself wanting to go sit with our ... cells.... whisper words of encouragement and tell them how much they mean to us and how happy we are that they are here.

I know we can’t even see them except with some kind of aid but I think about them often... it’s so cold outside I hope they are warm enough...

And for the record, yes I get that they will be frozen soon and yes, I’m sure I’ll worry about that too...

[helloderrling-blog]

Egg Update!

Our doctor just called- of the 8 that fertilized, they are all dividing nicely.

6 are considered “good”

2 are considered “fair”

none are considered “poor”

So that’s good news!

Our next update is Sunday when we find out how many made it to the blastocyst stage. Then we will send them off for genetic testing.

[helloderrling-blog]

Quick update - Fertilization

8 of the 11 eggs fertilized!!!!

Yay!!!

[helloderrling-blog]

Quick Update!

The doctor got 11 eggs today! She just called and said that all 11 were mature and able to be fertilized!

I am really sore and have been in bed all day.

Will post more later!

[helloderrling-blog]

Retrieval DAY!!!

Retrieval day/ Harvest day is here! Finally.

And it couldn’t come any sooner - I can feel the twins (ovaries) all the time now. They wake me up when my bladder is even the tiniest bit full. I can feel them when I walk and it’s uncomfortable to stand for long periods of time.

We will see you on the other side! Please send prayers!

[helloderrling-blog]

So, what are the next steps?

Where we’ve been:

The injections I’ve been taking have been to open up the follicles to allow as many eggs as possible out when we force ovulation.

I’m not sure how wide follicles are usually, I would guess just a few mm. Normally when you ovulate, only one follicle will reach maturity and boot out an egg. (If two mature and both release eggs and both are fertilized - that’s how you get fraternal twins). Because we are doing a mass harvest, we want as many mature follicles as possible to get as many eggs as possible.

Tonight:

We triggered - which means we are forcing ovulation. The doors are open and those little buggers better head on out!

Tomorrow (Monday):

I have labs to look at my LH level - to make sure my body is responding to the trigger and booting out the eggs.

Tuesday:

HARVEST DAY/ Retrieval Day!

I’ll go under general anesthesia for about 30 minutes while my doctor goes splunking for eggs.

She will remove about 30. Those 30 will be fertilized with Ts contribution and then they will incubate for 5 days to form blastocysts. Not all 30 will form a blastocyst - so we may only end up with 10 or so viable embryos. More on that in days to come...

Then...

At day 5 the embryos will be frozen - but just before the big freeze, a small grouping of cells will be removed from each embryo to send off for testing - this will help us improve our chances of a live birth.

While the incubation is happening and the cells are being tested - I’ll begin the process of readying my uterus for implantation.

The implantation won’t actually happen till early 2018 - during which time we will thaw and transfer the healthiest of the embryos based on the test results (one or two - we haven’t decided yet).

This is more of a high level plan and I’ll expound on each step as we get to it.

Thanks for sticking with us everyone! Your prayers are powerful and we truly feel the love!

[helloderrling-blog]

Days 11-14 - Recap and TRIGGER DAY

Happy Sunday loves.

The last few days have been a lot of the same. Shots, huge ovaries, heart monitor skin irritation, heart palps.

My doctor said that my ovaries are now resting behind my uterus which is why I can feel them every time I take a step.

This morning I had a final follicular ultrasound check and we were cleared for Trigger! Take a look at that huge ovary below!

The black spots above are the follicles, measuring an average of 20mm across. The white webbing is the ovary separating each follicle (I think).

Usually my entire ovary is the size of one of those black spots, so they are each roughly the size of baseballs now - and super sensitive.

Also, only one shot this evening! So we will take all those wins and say a huge THANK YOU to all the beings and powers that helped us get here so far.