helloimjenfield

[helloimjenfield]

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

[helloimjenfield]

so it turns out great tits can and do kill and eat both other birds and small mice when food is scarce, particularly during winter, and i just cannot get over this picture. it looks like the kind of photo hunters take with their kills. i’m losing it

[helloimjenfield]

i eat 15 apples for breakfast then drive myself to the hospital just to watch the doctors get blasted backward into the drywall bc they cant withstand my aura

[helloimjenfield]

[helloimjenfield]

This dude that works at my local taco bell says "tacotastic" and when i asked for a chalupa he said "beef steak or chicken which are you pickin"

I asked for as many fire sauces he could give me and he said "sure i dont pay for it" and the first time i saw him we asked if he was doing ok and he said "no i work here"

[helloimjenfield]

disney peaked when they named that sky high character Warren Peace and that’s on that

[helloimjenfield]

gender reveal came back negative

[helloimjenfield]

Rhino so happy to see his caretaker he gets the zoomies 

(Source)

[helloimjenfield]

i literally forget among us is about voting out a killer alien/killing crewmates like i get so caught up in my tasks its the whole game to me. like fuck yes wire simulator 3000 this is it baby

[helloimjenfield]

when you’re watching a movie and u recognize one of the actors in it from somewhere but u haven’t watched any of the movies or shows listed on their imdb

[helloimjenfield]

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[helloimjenfield]

This is from “Old Gays Try Grindr” and i’m dying

[helloimjenfield]

I don’t know who made this, but thank you for making me cry laughing this afternoon

[helloimjenfield]

Cleaning with ADHD all about momentum. Its like being a shark, if you stop moving you just straight up die.

[helloimjenfield]

goth gf this and goth gf that. where were yall when i was getting bullied in middle school

[helloimjenfield]

No offense but life is all about reading books, kissing girls, being nice, and eating strawberries

[helloimjenfield]

Your fourth most recent emoji predicts how much crazier 2020 will get for you