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❝ dad said if i manage to get straight As on my next report card, he'll get me one. now, i'm too old for baby toys like the switch 2. but really, i just wanna spite dickey. ❞

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❝ my BITCH mother hasn't mentioned a goddamn thing about the switch 2 yet ! i swear, if she doesn't get it for me, i am NEVER speaking to her again ! ! ❞

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❝ Four months. It's been four months since you were last here, & you couldn't go one fucking day without drinking ? ? ❞ Bill bitches behind clenched teeth, holding Aaron's glasses in his oily hands. Aaron's noisily vomiting into the toilet bowl made Bill want to snap the glasses in half.

❝ I shouldn't be fucking helping you. In fact, I'd let you throw up all over yourself if I knew mom wouldn't get pissed at both of us for dirtying the carpet. ❞

Aaron rises from the the toilet bowl, shaking, heavily heaving. In his head, Bill's words were going off like a gun, the bullets ricocheting against every part of his skull, worsening the terrible migraine he had. ❝ Leave me alone, Bill ! ! FUCKING HELL. ❞ He urges demands, reaching for the toilet paper to wipe away leftover vomit on his lip.

❝ No — ❞ Bill snaps, ❝ I wouldn't be cramped up in this shitty bathroom with you if you hadn't been fucking drinking behind mom's back ! You've barely said a fucking word to me today, & now I have to help you when you wouldn't — ❞ His grip on the glasses tightens, threatening to break them regardless of consequence. ❝ Man, we could've been reading comics instead of this shit ! I have the latest issue of Absolute Batman & — ❞

❝ I'M NOT FUCKING FIVE ANYMORE ! I grew — I grew — oh god . . . ❞

❝ Aaron ? ❞

Despite the slip of concern in Bill's voice, Aaron doesn't respond. His head drops back into the toilet bowl, continuing to hurl. Even though he wanted to be insulted, Bill wouldn't bother with a response to Aaron's outburst. Worry is settling in, & that makes him angrier than anything else.

After a harrowing moment, the puking finally dies down. Aaron rests his head on the toilet lid, too intoxicated & exhausted to care about hygiene.

Bill reaches out, lightly tugging on the cloth of Aaron's sleeve. ❝ . . . C'mon, Air. Let's get back to bed. Mom's gonna be pissed if she sees us like this. ❞

❝ 'm too sick, can't move . . . ❞ Aaron groans, his heavy eyelids shutting.

❝ Oh, no you don't. Don't make me drag your sorry ass back to the bedroom. Aaron, I fucking swear — Aaron ? Aaron ? ! ❞

No matter how hard he shakes him, Aaron doesn't respond — he's out cold. Bill retracts his hand, & sits there in silence for a moment. Overwhelmed with worry, & consumed by frustration that he will have to find a way to drag his brother back to bed.

Without thinking, Bill snaps the glasses in two, & chucks them at the wall.

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❝ Actually, if Sabrina WAS aware of our existence, she would totally be all over me & she'd ignore your ass ! ! ❞

" Man, that's the saddest thing I've heard all day. "

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❝ maaaaaannn, i wish sabrina carpenter was aware of my existence . . . ❞

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❝ Oh, you have GOT to be fucking with me. Surely, you've heard of Pokémon, right ? ? Nintendo ? ? Gotta Catch 'em All ? ? You vaguely resemble one for fuck's sake ! ❞

𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐬, 𝐧𝐨𝐝𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐝𝐬–! And then pauses... " ..What's a mewtwo? "

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❝ I'm not always frowning ! ❞ He was, most of the time. ❝ & if I am frowning, it's thanks to all the IDIOTS online ! Y'know how many FAKE, dumbass fans I get into arguments with ? ! SOMEBODY has to school 'em ! ❞

"I mean, not really no?"

He shrugged, "Not like I'm totally guilt-free of being on social media or something, catch up with my friends or look at dumb videos, but you do it a lot. Which is weird because I feel like you're frowning most of the time you care to look at a computer or phone."

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@shining-stxrs sent . . . "I cannot believe a girl liked you before any of us." shining-stxrs (josh for bill about meg lol)

Bill snorted, smug ass smile on his face. ❝ You can't POSSIBLY mean that, Joshzilla ! Obviously outta all of us, I'd be the best candidate for a girlfriend. I'm handsome, smart, badass, & uh . . . oh yeah, I weigh less than Jabba the Hut. ❞

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❝ When was Harley even a biker chick ? That aesthetic would fit Catwoman more. At least she's a babe that wears leather, y'know ? ❞ While browsing, BIll tossed a packaged Red Hulk figure across with disinterest. Soon a child's yelp followed, but Bill was too annoyed to care about anything else at the moment.

He stopped searching through the aisle for a moment, a loud but bitter laugh was forced out. ❝ Not to mention how she gets rewarded EVERYTHING now ! Remember that crap about her being a member of the Batfamily ? ? All the MORONS online was applauding that. ❞ Spotting a James Gunn Superman figure he wanted in someone else's cart, Bill took a moment to snatch it while they weren't looking. Afterward, he looked back to Meg to continue with his raving.

❝ Oh, Harley has EARNED this, ❞ he ' quoted ' in a high pitched voice of mockery. ❝ Bullshit ! She ain't earn NOTHING ! DC only did it 'cause she's fan favorite. It happens with EVERY character like that. Deadpool Kills The Marvel Universe, Harley Quinn Screws Up The DC Universe. Gimme a fuckin' break. ❞

Bill paused. Considering what Meg had said, hard to keep up with all the ranting. ❝ . . . Yeah, you're right. I guess there aren't many truly evil chicks in Batman. Catwoman, Thalia, Poison Ivy, Harley . . . they're all like, antiheroes at one point. ❞

For a moment, Bill thought about the implications, before he resumed browsing the shelves. Somewhat looking for what Meg wanted.

❝ What's the point of making a Jester character & taking that away ? It's like taking away the cat motif out of Catwoman. ❞ Again, Bill tossed another figure. This time it was a Harley Quinn funko, based on her modern appearances, of course.

❝ Heh. Maybe I'll be Joker then. No way I'm dressin' as Ivy. ❞

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Meg huffed. Not mad at bill for ranting but to express her own discontentment with the state of one of her favorite characters. "It's like she's harley quinn in name only now! I mean if you looked at her now in these comics if you didn't know her name would you even be able to tell that's harley? The only thing tying her to her clown roots is her bleached white skin and colored hair. Now her getup is some biker chick."

Apparently her new friend had been rubbing off on her. She felt more comfortable to speak her mind. "Oh and not to mention they act like because she's not with the joker anymore suddenly she's a good person and everything bad she did was supposedly because of him and only him. They do this with so many female villains. They get turned into anti heroes if not outright heroes. Their tragic backstory excuses everything they did because girls can't be bad people apparently."

She spoke with annoyance in her tone. "I loved her as a villain and if you ask me getting rid of her classic outfit was a huge mistake. It was her best outfit! You look at her jester suit and you get that's harley quinn." She spoke crossing her arms over her chest. "Ugh I'm hoping they have some vintage harley collectables here that might make me feel better. I am so cosplaying classic harley when comic con comes around."

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❝ i can do whatever the FUCK i want ! i can do whatever i want ! i can do anything. i'm like mewtwo ! ! ❞

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anonymous asked . . . Bill what’s your favorite Batman movie?

❝ Nothing, & I mean NOTHING will ever top The Dark Knight. Look, The Batman might've been pretty fuckin' badass but it was still NO The Dark Knight. As edgy as Paul Dano's Riddler tried to be. He was still a big fuckin' crybaby, can't even be COMPARED to Heath Ledger's Joker. And really, Batman & Joker are my favorites. Of course, I enjoy many Batman villains. But nothing gets better than Batman vs Joker. ❞

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Omg, you're active again! My friend who's still on Tumblr saw your blog and brought it up to me because I still love Eltingville and I was like "no fucking way!" We used to write together! I'm not currently active, but I was happy to see you around. I had a great time writing with you and loved our threads so much. You're the reason I read the actual Etingville Club comic and I still love the series to this day!

Thank you so much!! It may seem like I had Disappeared again but uhhh I had an Eventful last month and I was mostly keeping to blogs I'm more Active just 'cos hoooo stress !!! And I'm keepin' this mostly low activityy.

And it's SOOO FUNNY !! Because Eltingville Club is oddly so very popular rn with lots of fanart!! But back when I first wrote Bill, quite a few ppl were like you! Never read or even heard of Eltingville Club until seeing my blog! Heck, it's funny how many ppl thought Bill was my OC.

Heeell, I remember there was barely any fanart at all back then. Now I see quite a lot, that gets a lot of attention too! Heck, I've seen Bill x Jerry art. That's like my OTP, and I would've NEVER seen ship art of them back in the day haha!! It's so cool.

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@shctupmeg sent . . . “Um hi I’m meg! I’m bill’s girlfriend. It’s really nice to meet you!” Shctupmeg for both boys

Aaron wasn't expecting much with this visit — maybe another fight with Bill — but what he WASN'T expecting was to meet a girlfriend. Bill had a girlfriend ? ! BEFORE HIM ? ! No, no way . . . it just wasn't possible. Already, Aaron was trying to create explanations in his head — which was a little too easy, because he was high as hell.

❝ Wha ? Is Bill payin' you or somethin' ? ❞ " Fuck off, no I'm not " - Bill injected, Aaron continued on though. ❝ Orrrr . . . are you a . . . fangirl ? ❞ He pronounced the word as though it was a slur.

❝ Howww about . . . reading some of my graphic literature ? It will . . . it will make you never wanna read a comic book again. ❞ Aaron leans forward to a tote bag sitting aside the couch, he starts digging through it.

❝ Yeah, you'll never read a comic book again 'cause you'll end up tearing your eyeballs out after reading his garbage. ❞ Bill added.

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@shctupmeg asked . . . “Shouldn’t I meet your brother? I mean since I already met your mom and sister.” Shctupmeg for bill

He grumbles a bit. Of course, it's to be expected. He's sure she's seen the photos, & spotted the twin that looks almost identical ( aside from a large nose difference ) & became curious. He's sure many people would be . . . well, if he had made any more friends than Meg. After all, he knew the rest of the club since they were kids -- they've already met Aaron, back when he was cool. But Meg ? She hasn't met him yet. Bill didn't think he'd want that -- no, Bill DEFINITELY didn't want that. That crazy, no good bastard would be filling her head with what ' actual art ' is. He couldn't let anyone try to stray her away fandom.

❝ You wouldn't wanna meet him, he's a jerk. ❞

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@shctupmeg sent . . . “I thought maybe I could pick what we do today. It would be a nice way to celebrate my birthday.” Shctupmeg for bill

❝ Your birthday ? ❞ Bill was never good with birthdays -- how many times had he pissed off Josh for forgetting his ? Bill was also not good at letting others lead. But . . . he had finally gotten a girlfriend, & he didn't want to speedrun losing her either.

❝ Uh . . . sure. What do ya wanna do ? ❞

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@maddmuses asked . . . "Ya really like bein' online a lot, huh?" (Conner to Bill)

Bill allows himself to look away from his phone to pass Conner a confused glance. ❝ & you don't ? ? ❞ He asked, as though he was the normal one.