hesmellslikefreedom-blog

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Matt Murdock/Daredevil photo collage- been down a Netflix rabbithole.

Pictures are from Google (don’t sue!) but the words and editing are mine.

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Dean | SPN 14.12

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on castiel and john winchester

in the wake of the 300th ep promos i’ve seen a few posts and comments demanding that castiel should punch john on dean’s behalf. which just does not make sense to me. at all.  the following is likely an incomplete list of reasons cas has no reason to harm john:

dean is a grown-ass adult. yes, he has issues stemming from his upbringing and the mistakes his father made. but he is now a forty-year-old man who is healing and learning new habits. he does not need anyone to hit his father for things that happened twenty and thirty years ago.  i very much doubt dean would want anyone to hit john. certainly not cas.

john winchester was the original righteous man of prophecy. friendly reminder that he held out for over a hundred years under alastair’s knives, and if he’d given in at any point, castiel’s garrison could have been sent to retrieve him instead. it could have been john with an angel’s handprint burned into his skin, not dean.

john was only in hell because he sold his soul to save dean’s life. he got a super raw deal from azazel, too. not even enough time to say goodbye.

john saved dean’s life again at the devil’s gate in wyoming.

castiel also knows how much of john’s life was jerked around by forces beyond his control. if anyone knows about making bad choices and hurting loved ones under extreme circumstances, it’s cas.

in the end, despite all of his failures and mistakes and the burdens he inadvertently laid on his sons, john winchester gave dean and sam the skills that would keep them alive for much, much longer than any hunter could rightfully expect.

castiel is just not the type of vengeful asshole who’d disregard all of the complex emotional minefields in play because he wants to get in a cheap shot at dean’s father. whether you ship destiel or not, cas is not one for slow-burning spite of this kind, especially since he can empathize on a lot of levels with the all-around suckfest the winchester family has endured.

was john a bad father? oh yeah.  should his sons have the chance to interact with him in a way that might heal them better than advancing the cycle of violence? yeah.

this has been a production of my ricola sugar free lemon mint cough drops

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A Winchester reunion ( this took about 3 days to finish and it turned out better than I expected )

Im exhausted now

( Please do not repost on intagram or pinterest without permission ) 

@flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @kellyn1604 @i-am-negan-trash @hughxjackman @winchester-reload 

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I was just crying during the episode just like you my fellow fandom friends and then when Sam crushed the pearl and camera just showed Dean’s shudder… that scene broke me… i started sobbing… i came here for a good time, a nice fluff 300th episode and some good looking Winchester family and they yeeted my heart into pieces… i want my money back… (it was an amazing episode tho)

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Can we have a support group for who has been scarred by the last episode?

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Supernatural-Thoughts

Scrolling through my feed at saw @jensenscomedyelbows posted a “Supernatural 21 Questions” on her thoughts about Supernatural. Thought I’d do something similar since some ideas have been collecting dust in my head for some time.

SPOILERS up through current season 14.

1. Sam or Dean?

It would have to be Dean. I feel like I am more like Dean and so I tend to take his side on a lot of things. He’s a good brother and a big bad hero. Sam is a wonderful character, but as a person with trust issues, I found all of the angsty lying/ not being truthful, especially prevalent in seasons 2-8 a bit much for my personal tastes. I will admit Dean can be an asshole at times. Dean’s also got a wicked sense of humor that I love.

2. Do you ship Destiel?

No.

I think it’s sad that a platonic friendship is seen as more than it is or ‘queerbaiting’. I also don’t think there’s any reason to change the canon sexuality of characters that have only been portrayed one way.

3. Favorite Season?

I really like seasons 1-5. A bit simpler, no huge divine influence and there was still some semblance of the “monster of the week” episodes, which I enjoyed. Not everything was angsty.

4. Least favorite season?

Probably season 6 or 8. Sort of “what do we do now?” when the writers are trying to scramble together a storyline after the previous season has a bombshell.

5. Favorite Episode?

11x04, “Baby”. I really loved the cinematography and the chance to see the Winchesters removed from the soap-opera drama that can be a bit over the top. Also the reverse 180 is goals. A really sweet episode and I’d love to see the writers do something similar again. It felt like a look at how the Winchesters really live.

Also 5x16 (i think), Dark Side of the Moon was a great episode. The beginning with the fireworks and Knocking on Heaven’s Door makes me tear up every time.

6. Least favorite of TFW?

Probably Cas. His character has changed so much and just isn’t really useful to the show anymore.

7. Character you’d like to see resurrected?

Bobby- the real Bobby, not the knockoff. I think it’s nice that we get a semblance of Bobby back, but I can’t shake the feeling that he, Charlie, and Kevin were just brought back to make viewers happy, and I don’t like that pandering.

Bobby was such an important figure to the boys- he was their real father and I think he acted as an anchor to both of them. He kept them both sane and rational ( for Winchesters, anyways.)

8. Character you’d wish had stayed dead?

Probably Mary. While I do feel she has recently had a bit of a redemption arc in season 14, which has slightly redeemed her in my eyes, I feel as though her death is a central part to what makes Sam and Dean (and John) who and what they are. I felt like her character was handled badly upon her resurrection and I found it skeptical that she would have treated her sons as she did.

9. Thoughts on Nick?

Please get rid of him. The story is trite, clichéd, and overall craptastic. I don’t really like side storylines and Nick’s isn’t especially interesting- I kept thinking they would kill him off or some equivalent but it hasn’t happened yet.

10. Thoughts on Jack?

A controversial character, for sure. I was definitely wary of his character for some time (even now, I think there’s a chance he could turn bad if that’s the way the writers take him). Wasn’t a huge fan of his resurrection a la Castiel, but I suppose the writers knew they couldn’t kill off the beloved baby. I don’t think the writers, and some of the fandom, were right in putting pressure to make Dean accept Jack. Dean had been controlled by another supernatural being, Amara, just the year before. I’m sure that was on his mind. Also there was a really quick turnaround (3 episodes, maybe?) between Dean willing to kill Jack and being Jack’s ‘dad’. ( If you can’t tell, I am very defensive of the way characters are written and don’t like when they act out of character). I do like Jack, all in all. Still not my favorite character, a bit like Castiel in my opinion.

11. Thoughts on Season 14?

I’m really glad to see the fulfillment of season 5 with Dean being possessed by Michael. (I mean, not really happy, but you know what I mean!) I wasn’t at all surprised when he returned in the mid-season finale, and I was glad that they didn’t pull a Demon Dean quickie. Michael’s gonna be a big bad for this season, and it’s refreshing to see Sam and Dean have to “realistically” deal with a problem. I’m optimistic for the rest of the season and I’ll be curious to see how Supernatural continues to run.

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and I'm still in the dark cause I can't seem to find the light alone

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@deancreationschallenge | princejackles ↳ Prompt: Man in the Wilderness - Styx

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Like, Dean had to know this would make Sam suspicious, but he just couldn’t leave without saying good bye to his brother. Dean was so close to crying just before he hugged Sam. And Sam immediately knew something was wrong. They just know how to break our heart. 

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Happy Birthday Dean Winchester!

Some old art and sketches💕

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Have you noticed how every character not named Dean gets a chance to stand up for himself on supernatural, gets sympaty and empathy after they go through traumatic experiences? Gets a chance to process their trauma without show ignoring it?

Sam got a season of hand holding and coddling after cage, got plenty of opportunity to rage and cry after Gadreel possession and got to walk out on Dean during that therapy session. Cas got to beat Dean up after losing his angel privilege, got to stay and heal after he took Sam’s cage memories, and recently got sympathetic treatment after he betrayed Winchesters and housed Satan.

I won’t add everything every character has gone through coz that’ll take hours to type, but in general, most characters gets their trauma acknowledged by the show and they are given the opportunity to process and express their feelings, they’re given a chance to heal.

Every character but Dean.

And you already know why Dean will never be given that chance. You already know why he will never be treated with kindness. The show even spells it out for you.

Because according to Sam(and the show) Dean thrives on trauma. He’s different you see, you’re basically doing him a solid by hurting him, coz he likes it and probably asks for it. No need to show the aftermath or even pretend to heal him coz he thrives on trauma.

It’s just so convenient isn’t it? Makes writer’s job easier I guess.

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are you in college?

i am in pain

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Christmas Spirit

Lil drabble by me about our favorite brothers and Christmas. Summary: Sam tries to get Dean to celebrate Christmas with him. Dean, as per usual, is stubborn.

No pairings or warnings.

Inspiration: #30 from @writer-w-magic ‘s 100 winter prompts edition: Supernatural (“Can you shut up? Hellhounds sing more quiet than you!”)

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The peppermint coffee creamer sat on the shelf, front and center, when a bleary-eyed Dean Winchester opened the fridge early one morning in late December. He groaned and shoved it out of the way, blindly groping around in the fridge.

A take-out box found its way to his fingertips eventually. He opened it and sniffed the contents, judging them to still be good. He was eating the cold cheeseburger when Sam, bright eyed and bushy-tailed, appeared.

Sam raised his eyebrows at his brother. “Cheeseburger for breakfast? Really?”

Dean opened one eye lazily. “Peppermint low-fat sugar-free coffee creamer, Samantha?”

Sam opened his mouth to retort but thought better of it. He simply shook his head and went to the fridge, retrieving the scorned creamer. Dean watched as he poured himself a cup and poured a generous helping of the creamer into it.

“Want some?” Sam offered.

Dean grunted noncommittally in reply.

Sam poured some for Dean and set in front of him. Dean gave the coffee a sniff, before taking a cautious sip. He shrugged and set it down to finish his cheeseburger.

Later, Sam watched Dean swallow down the last gulp of coffee. “So.”

“s’ alright.” Dean admitted grudgingly. “Awful sweet, though.”

*

*

Then it was the music. Sam had managed to fill the bunker with Christmas tunes non-stop, and yeah, Dean could appreciate some Twisted Sister rendition of O Come All Ye Faithful, but for crying out loud, Michael Bublé and the likes were getting real old.

Sam was always humming some tune, when they were driving in the Impala, or cooking dinner, or even sorting through stacks of books. He rarely sang, and when Dean was awakened early one morning, he found out why.

Muttering obscenities under his breath, Dean kicked the covers off and made his way down to the showers. The music got louder as he approached- Mariah Carey… All I Want For Christmas is You.

“Jesus Christ, Sam.” Dean swore and knocked on the door loudly. “Can you shut up? Hellhounds sing more quiet than you!” Sam’s yodeling stopped abruptly.

Dean nodded in satisfaction and he shuffled on down the hallway, back to bed.

* * “Alright man, what’s up with you and the Christmas?” Sam looked up from the book he’d been reading. “Nothing.” “Sam.”

“What? Not allowed to celebrate around here?” Dean considered this, taking a sip of the whiskey. “No, it’s just… last time you acted like this, I was taking the fast lane to hell. Why now?” Sam shrugged. “We don’t really celebrate Christmas. I thought it would be nice to celebrate for real once.” “Why start now?” Sam sighed. “Why do you have to be so negative about everything?”

Dean finished his glass and poured another one, watching the amber liquid as it shone in the lights of the Christmas tree Sam had put up earlier. “Never liked Christmas.” He said quietly. “We don’t…” He trailed off.

Sam kept quiet, waiting for him to finish.

Dean sighed and bit his lip. “I dunno, man, Christmas just never is a good time for us. It’s supposed to be for family and shit, and…. we’ve lost a lot,Sam.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah.” “You go ahead and celebrate.” Dean looked across at his brother. “Don’t let me stop you.”

“That’s not the point.” Sam said resolutely.

“What?”

“I’ve been doing this for you, Dean, trying to help you out of this funk you’ve been in.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, Sam, give it up.” “No.” Sam replied sharply. “You can’t just fix everything with alcohol.” “You can fix a helluva lot.” Dean finished the glass and walked out. * * The next few days leading up to Christmas were quiet. Sam played very little Christmas music. Dean ignored the decorations hung around the bunker and they avoided any talk related to the subject.

Christmas Eve came, and Sam rapped on his brother’s door.

“Yeah?” Dean’s reply was muffled. “I’m going out.” “Where?”

“Church.” Sam replied pensively.

Dean opened the door. “You’re going to church?” Sam nodded. “Service is at 7. If you wanna come…”

Dean scoffed. “Why would I do that?”

“Okay. Sorry. I’m going.”

The click of Dean’s door echoed down the hallway.

 Sam accepted his candle from the usher and found a seat near the back of the small church. Yeah, things had changed throughout the years. Maybe his faith wasn’t like it had been. Even so, Christmas was still important for Sam. It was something to hold onto. He settled in comfortably as the program began with the words of the prophet Isaiah: “For unto us a child…”

The service drew near its end with a final scripture reading. The door creaked open quietly behind Sam. He remained still but tense, listening as footsteps drew nearer and nearer-

“Dean?” He whispered, surprised, as his brother slid into the pew next to him.

Dean shot him a be-quiet look. “Needed some supplies. Figured I’d drop in.” He shrugged uncomfortably, fidgeting with the candle in his hands.

Sam hid his smile.

The music for “Silent Night” started, and one by one, the candles were lit. The small church was illumined with a soft golden glow as people sang.

People began to sing quietly, their faces warmed by the tiny lights of the candles. Mothers hugged their children, and fathers held them in loving arms. As Sam looked around, softly singing with the congregation, it was as if love and light shone warmly in the faces of all in the small church.

“Hey.” Dean whispered.

“What?” “Remember that time when we sang for that old alcoholic fart who dressed up as Santa was a demon?”

Sam chuckled lowly. “Yeah.”

Dean grinned and turned back to his bulletin. The organ swelled and music filled the church to its brim as the last verse began.

“Silent night, holy night, Wondrous star, lend thy light…”

Sam started in surprise as Dean sang. His brother’s baritone voice was actually quite tuneful and pleasant. Yeah, the pitch was a little shaky, but it was damn better than anything he’d ever heard in the Impala. And Dean had a bit of a smile on his face as he stared down at the hymnal.

Sam smiled to himself and joined in the chorus.

* * The smell of cinnamon wafted through the bunker early Christmas morning, making its way into Sam’s room. He stretched slowly and got up, sniffing the air. “Cinnamon? He questioned aloud. Tossing a shirt on, he followed the scent to the kitchen, where Dean was pulling a pan of cinnamon rolls out of the oven.

“Merry Christmas.” Sam said, walking in.

“Hey. Merry Christmas.” Dean said, poking at the rolls.

Sam blinked in surprise. “Cinnamon rolls?”

“Mom made ‘em every morning for Christmas… figured I could whip up a batch.” Dean said noncommittally. “That’s…impressive.” Sam said to his brother’s back.

“What, you doubt my culinary skills?’ Dean jested.

“Uh, no?”

Dean pulled the mitts off his hands. “They’re done. There’s some frosting in the fridge- get it out, will ya?” Sam obliged and watched as Dean spooned it over the rolls. It melted slowly, dripping over the sides of each roll. Dean smiled triumphantly and licked off the spoon.  

“Want some?” He offered the frosting bowl to Sam. Sam shook his head. “I’ll get some eggnog.” He offered.

“Spike mine!” Dean called.

Sam chuckled. “Merry Christmas, Dean.”

“Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!”

 THE END

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With iron wings and rust, he is Icarus falling once again | p.d (via lostcap)

Sam version

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I’m seeing a lot of people call Cas and Dean Jacks’ dads, but Sam more of an “uncle.”

Can we backtrack here for a moment?

Sam has always been there for Jack. Since the moment he was born Sam has been protective over him, and fighting for him. Dean was the one who wanted to kill him. Dean was the one who was thinking he’d go bad, but Sam saw the light in Jack. He believed that they could raise him into being a good person, and they are. He is.

Cas has always been Jacks’ dad, since before he was even born. Sam was Jacks’ dad as soon as he listened to his instincts. Dean was Jacks’ dad the moment he finally decided to be apart of his life and give him a shot.

Sam does not deserve to be down graded when it comes to his relationship with Jack. He even said, “He’s our kid!” Sam is an amazing father, and I’m so proud watching him raise his son.

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Okay, bullshit, Dean would have fixed the tape deck several times over by now.