hetacesarevalid

[hetacesarevalid]

Hey, are you alright?

Hi anon! I don’t know when you sent this, but I figure it’s worth answering: Yeah, I’m fine! 

If you guys are wondering where I went: The long and short of it is that one day my queue on this blog ran out and I never really got around to filling it back up. 

This blog was founded by a friend of mine to combat ace exclusionism back in like 2016, and I took it over when they didn’t want to run it anymore. I ran it for a bit, but at some point I realized that positivity posts like the sort made and reblogged here just weren’t very effective for me. Too sugary, I think? Nothing wrong with that, and it helps a lot of people, but it’s not quite to my tastes. So I unfollowed most of the other positivity accounts I was following and reblogging from and started looking for the sort of thing that actually helped me. I didn’t mean to just vanish, but I’ve always been a bit lacking in the object permanence department, so, uh... Accidentally dropped off the face of the Earth here without any real note as to where I’d gone. Oops.

Some posts on this blog got notes recently, so I figured I’d dust off the askbox and make sure you guys knew that nothing happened to me except aging! I’m doing very well, actually! Thanks for your concern!

[hetacesarevalid]

Let’s talk about the fabulous aromantics out there

[hetacesarevalid]

I have a lot of love for aro ppl tonight

[hetacesarevalid]

PLACES TO DONATE AND SIGN TO SUPPORT BLM

(Do not donate money to change.org, none of their funds go to their petitions or organizations)

I Run With Maud - a fundraiser for the family of Maud to support them financially and seek justice. Ahmaud Arbery is black man who was chased and gunned down by two white men. (donation)

Minnesota freedom fund - raise money to bail out minnesota protesters (donation)

Official George Floyd donation fund (donation

The heart of a chef - Help pay for a black chef’s medical expenses

Justice for Sheku Bayoh - A black male who was taken into police custody and never returned home (petition)

Justice for Jennifer Jeffley - A black woman who was arrested at the age of 15 for a crime she did not commit (petition)

Abolish prison labor in the US (petition)

Free Willie Simmons - A black man serving 38 years for stealing $9 (petition)

Free Siyanda Mngaza - A young black woman sentenced to 4 1/2 years for self defence (petition)

Drop all charges against trafficking survivor Chrystul Kizer - A black woman incarcerated for using self defence against a trafficker (petition)

Justice for Zinedine - A black woman who was r*ped and he walks free. (petition)

Justice for Joāo Pedro - A 14 year old black boy who was shot in his home by the Rio de Janeiro police and died. 72 bullet holes were found in his home. (petition)

Justice for Sean Reed - A young black man who’s life ended after excessive violence by the cops against him while he was unarmed. (petition)

Justice for Breonna Taylor - A black woman, an award winning EMT who was killed by police in her home after an illegal unnanounced drug raid. They went to the WRONG HOUSE. (petition)

Exonerate Eric Riddick - A black man who was sentenced to life in prison for a crime he did not commit in 1992. There was no physical evidence. (petition)

Justice for Elijah Nichols - A black man who was attacked by a predominantly white fraternity party, stabbed his attackers in self defence, and is now incarcerated for it. (petition)

Justice for Emerald Black - A black pregnant woman who was attacked by the police for having bad registration tags. She was stomped in the stomach causing her to miscarry. (petition)

Justice for Amiya Braxton - A black child who was hit by a car. No one took her case serious and the driver was not charged. (petition)

Justice for Belly Mujinga - A black woman who was attacked while she had COVID-19 which likely lead to her death.(petition)

Justice for Tamir Rice - A 12 year old black boy who was shot and killed by officers for playing with a toy gun. The officers were not charged. (petition)

Justice for Andile Mchunu - A missing black man who was last seen beaten by a group of men. (petition)

Disbarment of George E. Barnhill - The man who decided to sit on the case of Ahmaud Arbery. (petition)

Criminal charges against Travis and Greg McMichael in the murder of black jogger Ahmaud Arbery. (petition)

Correcting a wrongful conviction against Kyjuanzi Harris - A black man who was arrested without cause. He has been in prison for 9 years now. (petition)

Justice for Darrius Stewart - A black man who was killed by a cop for a mistaken identity. (petition)

Reopen Kendrick Johnsons case - A black man who was killed by a man through a jealous fight over a girl. The autopsy revealed that his death was not accidental, the man admits to murder, yet the case is closed. (petition)

Raise the degree - remove bail for Derek Chauvin, the man who killed George Floyd (petition)

Exoneration of Albert Wilson - A black male wjo was sentenced by an all white jury 12 years for making out with a white woman in a bar. (petition)

Julius Jones - An innocent man set to be excecuted in oklahoma (petition)

Junk the anti-terrorism bill- a bill is trying to get passed calling protests, mass mobilizations, and political activities “terrorism” and trying to make them illegal (petition)

Justice for Darrius Stewart - a 19 year old who was gunned down by a white police officer (petition)

Free Wis. teen facing life in prison for killing her rapist (petition)

Justice for Alejandro Vargas Martinez - A black 15 year old who was shot 7 times while walking to school (petition)

I need to share this right now so I can eat but i will add more later! I DON’T care if its not ACNH. If this bothers you, unfollow me. I couldn’t care less. It bothers me how little I see donation and petition links on here, i have a good amount of followers on here, so see this. sign them.

Please sign them ALL. It really is NOT that hard. And share so others will do the same.

[hetacesarevalid]

We really need to address the fact that women aren't more likely to be asexual than men. Ace men are more likely to be closeted especially to themselves because society tells them that they must be sexual/are sex obsessed/be attracted to people and in particular women. And it can be extrememly difficult to look at yourself and say "wow I guess I'm not the way society says I should be".

Ace men deserve mad respect for figuring themselves out.

[hetacesarevalid]

Happy Valentines day everyone! I decided to make a comic about something I’ve wanted to talk about for a long time, which was my relationship with romance while being on the Aromantic spectrum. Sorry for the length, enjoy!

[hetacesarevalid]

Is there any bloggers who also talk about being an ace of color?

here’s a quick list;

asians; sexualization with an asian face, this blog has a collection of diverse asexuality comics and here’s one of them, anger w/ the ace community, yellow fever, vietnamese agender, chinese, another chinese, “I cannot separate my asexuality from my race”, japanese, and of course there’s my stuff

latin@; when colored acephobia gets really wild, Identity Formation among Asexuals of Color by Aasha Foster, Amelia Walker, Austin Eklund, &Melanie E. BrewsterTeachers College, Columbia University, Asexual Latinas & How Latina Stereotypes Hurt Them, the power of invisibility, “You can’t say you’re asexual and Latinx without someone speaking over you”, “ It went against everything latinxs are expected to be and it is everything I am. It gave me this freedom to realize I wasn’t broken”, 

black; tired of discourse, “ya’ll’re gonna hear what my black ass has to say” blvkandasexual has said a lot of really good stuff, everything’s tagged so u should read, racism in the lgbt community, ““ur not ~oppressed~ its just prejudice” is the same thing my mother had to hear post civil rights era, and what I have to hear doubly today”, being a black ace woman, “Some gorgeous woman isn’t going to come up and share her life with me. Some gorgeous man isn’t going to want… what ever I am”, “my most relevant issue as a POC as well as ace is the constant sexualization towards me”, 

there’s tons more, believe me. lacking context of racism with acephobia leads to shit like this and i hate it, so this is important

[hetacesarevalid]

Ace Week Is  Approaching!

Do you have your ace swag on hand for a proper celebration?

If not, the Seattle Aces & Aros Shop can help!

Buttons!  Stickers!  Shirts!  Pens!

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!

We’ve got your Demi Pride needs covered, too!

AND THAT’S NOT ALL!

Get some Gray-Ace Gear, too!

And it looks like Zazzle is having a 25-50% off sale on most items, ending the 11th, so act now!

https://www.zazzle.com/store/seattleaces?rf=238545785965645485

ONE MORE THING…

We also have a Redbubble Shop with different designs!

https://www.redbubble.com/people/SeattleAces/shop

Proceeds go to support the Seattle Aces & Aros!

[hetacesarevalid]

Dude the symbol for us lithe should be a piece of charcoal on fire, because it would have all the colors of the flag and charcoal is a type of rock which is what lith means, can you create some art for it? I’m shit at drawing

You, my friend… are a genius!

So, something like this perhaps?

[hetacesarevalid]

[ID: The Grunkle Stan meme. Grunkle Stan from Gravity Falls looks at an image that says “aspec/lesbian solidarity”. In the first panel, he says “Oh, this-”, and in the second panel he says “This is beautiful.” End ID]

[hetacesarevalid]

I feel like the blogs that focus on specific a-spec identities don’t get as much attention as other a-spec blogs do so I wanted to make a list just so y’all know what’s out there.

Grey:

@just-graysexual

@confessionsofagraysexual

@grey-and-ace

@finding-gr-ace

@greyro

@greyro-problems

@shades-of-grayro

Demi:

@demi-romantics

@thedemiexperience

@demisexual-kingdom

@fall-in-love-with-a-demisexual 

@dateademisexualpersonwho

@demisexualspaceace

@being-demisexual

@demisexual-polyamory

Lith/Akoi:

@lithromanticproblem

@lithroinhighschool

@lithro-akoiromantics

@anonymousakoiromantic al

@lithroballofsunshine

@lith-life

@lithakoi

Quoi: 

@quoiromanticfacts

@quoiromanticthings

@quoisitively-queer

@wtfromantics-blog

Flux:

@aroace-flux

@arofluxblog

@arofluxsupport

@arofluxsuggestion

Please feel free to add to this list, I’m sure I didn’t get everyone!

[hetacesarevalid]

I hardly see any posts aimed towards asexual mlm and I just want them to know that they’re amazing humans who are so awesome and deserve all the validation the world can offer.

[hetacesarevalid]

Demisexuals! You don’t need to feel bad about saying you were asexual before you realized you were demi! This is why we’re a spectrum! Asexuality/aromanticism is complicated—otherwise there’d be strict definitions for the words. No reason to feel bad, lovelies. Nobody blames you for it because we all understand how hard it is to figure this stuff out. No guilt necessary! You’re doing wonderfully. Keep it up! 💕 💕

—

Great message! Thank you for the submission! Here’s some bonus love from me. - Rose 

┏┓   ┃┃╱╲ In this ┃╱╱╲╲ house ╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love ▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate ╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲     Anyone who shifted     their a-spec label💕 ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲ ▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

[hetacesarevalid]

Happy pride month to all the aces and aros who are constantly being told that this month isn’t for you!

Happy pride month to all the aces and aros who are constantly being told that your experiences aren’t ‘enough’ to make you queer! Who are constantly being told by strangers that your own lived experiences are actually just misogyny, or internalized homophobia, or literally anything other than what you say it is!

Happy pride month to all the aces and aros who are constantly being told that your identity isn’t a real thing, that it’s just a phase, that it’s only a ‘symptom’ of something else that can be ‘treated/cured’, or that you’re just looking for a way to ‘feel special’!

Happy pride month to all the aces and aros– whether or not you’re sex/romance repulsed! Whether or not you are currently in or have pursued those kinds of relationships in the past! Whether or not you still enjoy those things, but experience them differently than everyone else!

Happy pride month to all the aces and aros who’ve had people in your life try to ‘fix’ you or make you feel guilty for not feeling the same things they do! I’m sorry you had to endure that kind of treatment! You don’t deserve it, and you’re wonderful just the way you are!

Happy pride month to any aces and aros who feel that your ace/aro-ness is tied to other factors, such as trauma, or neurodivergence, or anything else! That doesn’t make your lived experiences with your sexuality any less valid, and I’m glad you’ve found the language and a community that gives you a sense of belonging, acceptance, and understanding!

Happy pride month to all the aces and aros who are also queer in other ways, and are constantly being told to leave your ace/aro-ness at the door when you enter queer spaces and dialogues!

Your struggles are real, your identities are valid, your voices matter, and I’m glad you’re here!

💚🖤⚪💜

(Exclusionists don’t interact! Make your own damn post, or better yet, have a long hard think about why you hate an entire demographic of people who have been told by Heteronormative Culture that they’re ‘broken’ and should feel guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed about who they are so much!)

[hetacesarevalid]

There are so many things that white asexuals (like myself) can actively do to make things safer for people of color within the asexual community that are really pretty easy changes to make that there should be no excuse to implement them, such as (but not at all limited to):

Don’t assume western and/or white-centric history narratives of asexuality are universally applicable to everyone within the asexual community. Listen to non-western / non-white narratives, and let people of color speak. 

Don’t deny that racism exists within the community. Recognize that we are socialized into a racist society, and that our own attitudes and behavior can be racist regardless of our intention. That can trickle into our community. 

Don’t just “sit on the sidelines.” Stand up for people of color within the community who are being abused when they ask for help.* Stand by people of color when they express intra- / inter- community issues relevant to race.

*You can reach out to someone who is being attacked by someone else for whatever reason, but take care what you say/do. It’s wise to ask someone who is being hurt what you can do for them so it doesn’t get worse.

Don’t support known / vocal racists within the community. Every community surrounding orientation seems to have white supremacists. Don’t give them a platform, even if you happen to agree with them on things unrelated to race.

Don’t ever compare race based movements to movements surrounding sexual orientation and gender if you’re white. Those are not struggles we can co-op, and doing so demeans their purpose. 

Don’t assume your needs and experiences as a white asexual are the default. The struggles asexual people of color face will be unique to them, as being both asexual and a person of color is often more challenging. 

Don’t insert yourself into spaces that are specific to people of color. These spaces were created out of need, because issues relevant to them are frequently undermined in popular discussion.

People of color should not be continually burdened with having to tell us these things. All it takes is to take a step back from “me” centered discussion within the community, to realize that everyone within this community has their own needs. Respect that. It doesn’t divide us. It makes the community better. 

There may be frequent and unfair “criticisms” of asexuals collectively that is really just thinly veiled hatred (sometimes not veiled at all), but don’t let that fool you into thinking that we can’t do better. We absolutely can, and we absolutely should. 

[hetacesarevalid]

i hope all my aspec friends here are having fun celebrating pride month! i love you, you’re gonna do great things!

[hetacesarevalid]

Aromantic flag