Text
sorry for not answering messages for three thousand years i have. Stew. in place of a brain. you know how it is
84K notes
·
View notes
Text
My disciples are lowkey starting to annoy me
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
AHHHHHH OH MY GOD JESUS CHRIST OAHH HHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK ok nevermind. i got over it
28K notes
·
View notes
Text
if i was a bug i would find you every lifetime just to die in your drink
118K notes
·
View notes
Text
Your job shouldn’t be your first priority,that weird lesbian on tumblr should be.
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
its true that romance amd friendship will not solve everything but. objectively speaking its very hard to get sad when you can say 'lets go get cake tomorrow okay' and someone will go get cake with you. like there is some good at least. you know
74K notes
·
View notes
Text
(playing chess) queen takes knight? like right now? promise??
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
saying something you know will make people laugh. And they do laugh.

119K notes
·
View notes
Text
when i go get groceries i keep seeing like a $6 giant carrot cake and i don't need it at all but every time... oh i feel weakness within me
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Any idiot can like something thats good. It takes a real genius to like things that suck ass
70K notes
·
View notes
Text
hey man it was wonderful to giggle with you tonight…
19K notes
·
View notes
Text
Why are bad things happening to mutuals. Nothing bad should ever happen to mutuals. Stop. #ilovemymutuals
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
no one wants to come over and watch six hours of television anymore
2K notes
·
View notes