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I do love the monsterfucking & romance genre so so much, but I refuse to get into the monster shifting bullshit. So he's a werewolf or a dragon or a vampire or [insert any monster here], which is great, awesome even - but you only find him hot when he shifts to his human form?? weak. pathetic. you need to open your mind I don't want no oiled up, dehydrated, tiktok thirst trap looking ass dude with the most generic haircut you can possibly imagine. when I say I want to fuck the monster I mean THE MONSTER

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comments are turned off on this and i know it was a bloodbath in there

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he just nutted in me and his leitmotif changed key?

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I wish there was a narratively satisfying way to justify picking Sten to fight Loghain over the Warden and Alistair because the way he responds to getting chosen for the duel by actually smiling a little, saying "Finally" like his sole goal in life has been to beat Loghain to death in front of a live studio audience and then heading off for that standoff/quickdraw cutscene is very cool

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i don’t know how to explain to you people that no matter what a country’s government is like i do not and will not support the US indiscriminately bombing that country’s civilians and i don’t know why that’s a controversial take tbh

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imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora

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don’t kys, you never know when a new type of wet pathetic character is about to be introduced to you via tumblr.com/dashboard thanks to your mutuals

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revealing yourself as monstrous and inhuman and expecting me NOT to fall in love? ok….

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I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.

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Me when I see all my mutuals mention anything about their characters.

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starts talking about my emotional state with 2 degrees of abstraction instead of 7 and the sniper across the street who i pay to keep me in line fires a warning shot thru my little hoop earring

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pyramid conspiracies are so funny cause like yeah theyre extremely impressive feats of engineering but its not like. crazy unbelievable. i think even as a kid if you asked me how i thought the pyramids were built id be like "i think they probably cut rocks into rectangles and stacked them. it probably took a very long time." aliens or power plants would not remotely be on my list of options yknow.

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my roommate got amongus ejected from a polycule a few years back and shes always told the story as "i started argung with one girlfriend so she manipulated my other girlfriend to turn against me." and while i dont know how true to life that version of events is i do greatly enjoy imagining the polycule equivilent of the kings evil advisor whispering in their ear grima wormtongue style. its got a flair to it.

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It will get cold again eventually. The summer will not last forever. I’m not doomed to live in this unbearable heat for all eternity. <- said while gripping the countertop so hard that the tile is starting to crack

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i hope luigi mangione is proven innocent & gets to sue a ton of companies for slander and win & i hope he gets enough money to rebuild his life and get any help for his chronic pain that he needs & i hope he’s able to disappear from the public eye entirely if that’s what he wants

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