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Listening To Yourself

This will be a long one, but you asked for it 

Okay, I’m assuming that you know the importance of listening to yourself which is why you overwhelmingly voted for this post so I won’t delve into that. But I will outline two important reasons and follow them up with why you find it hard to listen to yourself to enable you to reflect and guide yourself down a different more introspective path. 

Firstly, it is fulfilling. Ultimately you know what is best for yourself and if you’re able to listen to yourself then you’re on your way to a fulfilling life. 

You will no longer be an obstacle in your own success story. 

Secondly, it is necessary. You have an internal voice for a reason, it is your guiding force and it is the way your spirit communicates with your physical body and your environment. If you listen to it you are living in harmony with all aspects of your person-hood.

These are a few of the possible reasons you may not listen to yourself at all or enough. 

1. You do not trust yourself: If you trusted yourself wholly and truthfully you would follow your own advice. It is not difficult for you to listen to a trusted friend so why is it so difficult for you to listen to your own self? Do you not believe that you know what is best for you or what you should do? 

 2. You are not honest with yourself: When was the last time you were candid with yourself about your weaknesses, your capabilities and your goals? If you are not being truthful with yourself about what you can truly do your thoughts and actions will never align to enable you to manifest the things you desire. So you’ll fail the same way multiple times and grow to resent that voice.

3. You don’t believe you can: Sometimes you don’t think you’re capable of achieving what you set out to - so you never even try. You don’t think you’re smart enough, organized enough, have enough time or have thought whatever it is through enough. You struggle with feelings of personal inadequacy that limit you. You are enough, and you can - don’t forget it. 

4. You don’t think you deserve it: This ties in with the previous point. You do not believe you deserve good things or positive change in your life because you “haven’t done enough” or “achieved enough.” Little known fact, you always deserve goodness in your life, whether it is from changes you make or the universe conspiring for you and making life a little easier. 

5. It is inconvenient: Up and changing things in your life is not fun or easy. You are safe and comfortable with the way you do things now even if they are wildly ineffective because it has been your choice to live your life that way. You know there are better ways, you think about the better ways all the time but you never move past just thinking. If you broaden your thinking and visualize the long term impact these changes would make in your life then it is delayed gratification. The inconvenience will be well worth it. 

This is not an exhaustive list of potential reasons but it is comprised of reasons I see that affect a lot of people. 

These are also reasons that you give as excuses because you know you’re being lazy and you know listening to that voice would require energy that you may not be ready to dispense. 

This post is loud but I sincerely hope its helpful x

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Gratitude

Its very easy to get caught up in apologizing for your assumed ineptitude or your well known weaknesses but as much as saying “sorry” is impactful and can have a profound effect on your relationships- it is more important methinks to be grateful. 

When you’re blissfully overjoyed by minuscule things like your hair growing half an inch or having an early morning class cancelled, more than momentary happiness engage that feeling and purpose it. Gratitude is much more than saying “thank you.” It is about respecting the environment you’re in, appreciating your emotions and acknowledging the incredible piece of heaven you’ve received. Gratitude is learned, it is one of those things (like patience) that you know you want, should and need to display but may not know how, or feel you fall short so here are some things I have been painfully trying to incorporate in my mostly mundane life to show myself and my surroundings gratitude:

Listening, paying keen attention to the way people engage with me and appreciating that they chose to share with me whatever it is they have chosen to share. 

Mindfulness, actively understanding that everything that I am experiencing and living through is because it is a lesson that I will come to understand. Actively appreciating the incredible beauty in activities I thought were time wasting like sitting in traffic or walking leisurely during a break.

Praying/Meditating, as a deist praying isn’t necessarily asking God for anything but being thankful for the moment, the circumstance and the history that has molded the person you are growing to love. 

Love, giving love and receiving it. Telling my family members that I love them before I sleep or giving someone way on the road (which if you know in our Nairobi that is a love language kusema ukweli) and my current favorite, stopping people from littering.

Forgiving myself, sometimes the easiest thing to do is make yourself the bad guy and punish yourself for slacking on your workouts or allowing yourself to get hurt the same way over and over but those are all human experiences. Remind yourself that you are always worthy of love and pardon your mistakes- punishing yourself is regressive, mean and you always deserve better.  

I sincerely hope this helps you to take careful steps towards being graceful and grateful in all aspects of your life!