hopelessgrunt-a

[hopelessgrunt-a]

Hazy Prologue

Where was he again?

Everything feels so hazy. Whatever it was he did, it sure wasn’t agreeing with him now. A terrible habit, really, but he knew better than anyone else that he was incapable of taking proper care of himself to begin with.

...Still didn’t help his situation, that was for sure. 

Better rack whatever brains I got left. First, he’d need to start from the beginning. Or, at least try to. The more and more clear it became, the more the thought seemed to slip out of his mind.

This is worse than tryna recall dreams. Not like he frequently had good ones, but- ugh, he needed to stop getting distracted. The man feel on to his back, slamming against the sandy shore below him.

... Sand. What was it about sand that- oh, for fuck sake. Right. That’s how that started, wasn’t it? Vincent allowed his eyes to drift to a close, and as the sound of the waves tickled his ears, his memories flowed back through the rivers in his mind.

[hopelessgrunt-a]

 The beach was nice.

He wasn’t quite sure why he enjoyed it so much. He didn’t much like sand. He hated how it got between his toes, and he wasn’t about to step outside wearing socks with sandals. He wasn’t really the best at swimming. Rarely would he step out to swim with his feraligatr, Caesar. It was relaxing, but it usually ended with him trying to hold on to the gator to prevent from slipping under.

Was it the waves crashing against the shore? Was it the smell of salt water? Whatever it was, Vincent found himself returning to this place quite often. Every time he felt something was going awry, every time he felt that he needed to run away, and from what, he wasn’t sure, he’d find himself back here.

There was something about the beach that blocked out all the noise. Something that made him less anxious. Something that made him feel at peace.

His muscles relaxed, and no matter what, he could let out a deep breath, and he could feel warm. 

His energy may disappear, but at the least, he felt safe here.

...

The buzz of his phone catches his attention. He hesitates for a moment before picking it up.

[SMS | Don’t Answer] -> Can we talk?

Smash.

Nevermind. He hates the beach.

[hopelessgrunt-a]

Mhm. We’re done here.

Heading over to my personal and archiving cause I been here too long and once again I remember why I hate a lot of y'all.

Might be best to focus on art anyway and I’ll stick with RPs on discord. At the least, over there I don’t have to see people that think making racist caricatures is a debatable offense. 

[hopelessgrunt-a]

“Sure sounds like some shit some white boy would say.”

[hopelessgrunt-a]

Oh, is everyone stripping?

Okay. He may as well join in. Off go his shorts, wristbands, ect., and ending with his shirt. The bara tiddies are exposed once again,

[hopelessgrunt-a]

cataleya-takahashi:

“Hm?” Hearing the unfamiliar voice, Cataleya turns to look up at an equally unfamiliar face. Well, whoever he is, he’s clearly a grunt based on how he’s dressed. “Let me guess, you needed something from the kit, yeah…? Konani!”

The Raichu smiles at her sweetly.

“Clean this all up and put everything back the way you found it, please.”

With a nod and not so much as a hint of protest, the Pokemon raises its paws, using its telekinetic power to lift all the medical supplies off the floor and make it float back into the metal box. And, as instructed, it’s all organized!

“Rai~!” Konani squeaks, holding the first-aid kit out to Vincent.

Oh no, it’s cute.

Vincent seems to pause, just for a moment, to stare at the raichu with the crate in its grasp. It takes him a moment to realize it, before he grabs the kit from the pokemon before him. He nods his head stiffly, accompanied by a soft “Thank you.”

He grabs the roll of medical tape and sets the kit back down before he begins to wrap up his hand. This shouldn’t take long, for he was no stranger for this type of injury.

[hopelessgrunt-a]

divinaemater:

         “If it helps any, s’no’ like a date-date. Jus’ a get ta know each oth’a kind’a thang. Curious ta see how well we get along in tha’ regard s’all.” If they were incompatible, then that’d be that. Apath just had a hunch they were following.

                                                      “Bu’ fantastic! Cool. Erh–so, like, I meant righ’ now. I’m bad at plannin’ thangs ou’. If ya’d rath’a postpone fer a bi’, tha’s fine, I did kind’a come out’a nowhere wi’ ‘tha’. Oth’a’wise, uh–lemme see yer arm? S’easier ta use Teleport ta get where I wanna go.”

                                They could walk, sure, but it involved quite a bit of hiking and they weren’t wearing the right kind of shoes for all that.

“A platonic date?” He’s not sure if he’s heard of such a thing, or, at least if it’s been called a date. But, he supposed it was far from a problem.

It appeared he didn’t know much about them, either. Apath’s next comment definitely through him for a loop. With furrowed brows and crossed arms, he became half tempted to ask them to stop fucking with him.

Despite, he slowly unlinked his arms and extends it for Apath. this is far from the strangest thing he’s heard, or seen.

“If you say so.”

[hopelessgrunt-a]

A big hug, a smooch on the cheek, and a Mewsmas present: a well-crafted leather cigarette case, designed to clip to his belt or inside his bag and hand-tooled and carefully dyed with a bright, stylized Feraligator playing the air guitar. "Time for stop carryin' around that mason jar."

Oh. This felt just a bit sudden for him. Vincent wasn’t stranger to Plumeria’s affection. He appreciated whatever form it came in, and this was no different. However, something about this was a bit different.

The last thing he had expected was.. a present? 

His eyes inspected the leather case, his fingers gently gliding across the case. It looked incredible. Did... Did she make this herself? Or did she buy it? He wasn’t sure if he cared in the end. Something about this.. It felt.. warm.

He remains silent, just for a moment. A single tear streams down his face, one he quickly tries to wipe away with his free hand. Without warning, he wraps Plumeria into a tight hug.

“Thank you.” The quiver in his voice is unmistakable.

[hopelessgrunt-a]

[hopelessgrunt-a]

Not sure if I'll do threads today. I know I owe a response to one person, but if I owe you one, like this post.

[hopelessgrunt-a]

             if you’re gonna hit me, hit me  ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ                         cause you better  knock me out  the  𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝  time

[hopelessgrunt-a]

Incomes a drunken Apath, throwing their arms around Vincent and giggling up a storm, unsteady on their feet but all smiles either way. "Hiya!" Chipper as can be, they pepper his face in smooches.

Woah woah woah, that was so sudden. He’s no stranger to Apath’s random affections, nor does he ever mind it. He can tall how excited they seemed to be. He may as well just let it happen.

Not like it wasn’t sweet for him, either. Apath kisses give Vincent life.

“What you so excited for?”

[hopelessgrunt-a]

Shaky hands inch towards the door nob, turning it slowly and pulling the door open. Don’t creek, don’t creek. Good. He steps inside, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible.

There are no lights on in the house. None that he can see. He can’t hear any snoring. Maybe he was out drinking again. If that was the case, then Vincent would be home free. But, it’d be foolish of him to get cocky. He wasn’t in the clear yet, not till tomorrow morning.

Go to your room. Change your clothes. Spray them with some Febreeze. Anything. It should be covered by the sound of your fan. Go to bed immediately. No bathroom, no shower. Those could wait till tomorrow morning.

Slow, he begins to step towards the hall. The carpet muffled his footsteps just enough for him to get by-

Click. 

Vincent stops dead in his tracks, his head whipping around to the living room across. The lights had suddenly turned on.

“Where you been, boy?”

Shit.

Answering was a trap. Every inch of him screamed “lie,” but that never works. That is, when he can even get a word out to begin with. But silence wasn’t good either. Silence would be taken as a sign of guilt, and with any scent of weakness, his father would pounce and eat him alive.

“I asked you a question.”

Should he tell the truth? It was outlandish, even for him. But, how far should he stretch it?

His father rose from the couch and made his way closer. 

Time is running out, Vincent. Act. The time to act is now. Just. Say something. Anything.

“I joined a gang bent on world domination and makin a new universe.” The words parted his lips with the straightest face he could muster.

There’s a pause, momentarily, and then laughter. Not genuine laughter. Vincent could feel his anxiousness worsening. He wanted to move. He wanted to run back out. He didn’t care about the snow. He’d take his chances freezing to death.

“You think you funny, huh lil nigga?” His father’s words cut deep. With his face now close, Vincent could smell the alcohol on the man’s breath. It almost made him gag. But he dared not to. “Don’t lie to me. Where the hell you been?”

“I told y-”

“Shut the hell up. You know damn well you lost your mind tellin’ me some nonsense like that! It is 2 in the mo’fuckin’ mornin. You ain’t got school tomorrow, but that don’t mean you gon’ stay out to god knows what hour of the night.”

There’s a brief silence. Vincent only nods in response, but he dared not speak.

“You been smokin’ again boy?”

Vincent shook his head. 

“Boy, fuck I say ‘bout lyin’ to me?”

“Dad! I ain’t lyi-”

Smack.

A sting seeps throughout his cheek, spreading to every corner as quickly as possible. Vincent shuts his eyes, his hand instinctively reaching up to clutch his cheek. A single finger raises, pointing to Vincent’s face. He couldn’t see it, but he could feel his father’s scowl against his skin.

“You know damn well not to raise your voice to me. I know you been smokin cause that’s always why you out, runnin’ round with that fast ass girl Jasmine, doin’ lord knows what!” There’s a pause, just for a moment. His father turns around and walks back into the other room. “Don’t know what the hell wrong with you. I ain’t raise you to be like this.”

“You didn’t raise me at all!” A mistake on Vincent’s part. He’s not sure why he shouted. He knew it would only lead to more trouble. His father whipped his head around almost immediately. 

“What you just say boy?”

“You know you heard me!” Every inch of him was screaming to stop. And yet, he continued. “You ain’t do nothin’ but hit me and yell at me! Momma was the one who raised me, and because of you, she gone! Because you can’t be keeping your fucking dick in your pa-” 

Mid sentence, he stops. His eyes widen, and he immediately ducks. Just in time for a bottle to fly over his head. The shattering glass against the wall made Vincent flinch. As he raised his head, he saw his father inching closer.

No.

His hand instinctively reaches to his coat pocket. Where is it? Where is it? Wrong side. He switches his hands. His dad was getting closer, quick.

But, he stops, and his face turns pale. Slowly, his hands raise into the air. He dared not move, for the shaky hands in front of him were packing heat, and he knew he was the target. “Where you get that thing, Vinny?” He asked, a sudden tremble in his voice previously absent.

The click of the safety releasing allowed the feeling to sink in more. Vincent took deep breaths, slow tears streaming down his cheeks. This was real.

“Funny how it ain’t ‘nigga’ no more, ain’t it?”

‘If you wish to join our ranks and be rid of the emotions that chain you, you must be willing to take the steps that will potentially be life threatening...’

“Vinny. Answer me.”

Oh, so he was scared now? He, in that position, with that tone, had the nerve to talk down to him still? Vincent swore to Arceus above, he hated this man. This man that tore his family apart. This man that took away his dream, and stained any imperfection he left at the door by request in Vincent’s own blood.

‘Furthermore, if you are not ready to die for this cause, this organization will have no need for you.’

“Vinny. You know me now. It’s ya pops. Quit foolin’ around, okay?”

His hands grew steady, just for a moment. He could hear the words echoing throughout his head, once again. He could take his life back. He could make sure that no one like this every hurt him anymore. He would be free of the fearful nights of silence, the draining of his emotions making it hard to focus on anything, or care for anything. He would get him back for all the nights he made momma cry, and make herself sick worrying about him.

‘Take your first step, young man. You know what you must do.’

“Vinny-”

Bang.

--

Vincent slowly opens his eyes. Had he dozed off on the beach again? Possibly. Caesar appeared to be done playing around. But, that seemed a bit quick. He didn’t appear to be all that wet.

Perhaps the water was too cold for him?

Vincent takes one more deep breath and whips out his phone. It was getting awfully late. But.. he didn’t feel like heading back to Po Town. Not yet, at least.

Perhaps he wouldn’t return, not till Christmas is done and over with. It was neither a holiday, nor a birthday he wished to celebrate. Never again.

[hopelessgrunt-a]

Character Development Questions: Hard Mode

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

What does your character like in other people?

What does your character dislike in other people?

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

How does your character behave around children?

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

How does your character behave around people they like?

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

[hopelessgrunt-a]

SHORT AND DIRTY NSFW SINDAY MEME

😏 For a drabble of a sex scene between or muses. 😳 For some lines of dirty talk my muse likes to use/would like use on yours. 📲 For some sexts my muse would send to yours. 🖼️ For 3-5 gifs of how my muse would have sex with yours 🔮 For my muse to confess a fantasy they want to do with yours. 🛏 For my muse to tell yours about a naughty dream they had involving yours. 💋 For my muse to admit to yours the things yours does that turns them on.

Add + to combine any of these together!

[hopelessgrunt-a]

@divinaemater

For a moment, he thought he had heard something wrong. He was far from a stranger to their embrace, but he never quite expected it to escalate, or if they wanted more of him than what was offered.

He may have asked for a ‘come again’ or a ‘say what now,’ in any other instance. However, Vincent had not known Apath to be a liar, nor was he one to turn away a chance to get cross faded.

“A’ight. I fuck with you. Let’s do it.”

[hopelessgrunt-a]

warning: linked article contains discussions of mental health and mention of suicide.

this is a really good article about the phenomenon of scapegoating, in which members of a family or community choose one individual to blame for that group’s dysfunction. 

the scapegoat is usually a group member who identifies the toxic behaviour of others and is then bullied into silence by the toxic individual or abuser and those who support them (it’s very common for such people to surround themselves with people they do not mistreat either because they don’t feel it’s necessary or to build a support network for just this purpose)

yes, i said community, even though the article only discusses the phenomenon in terms of families. though it isn’t as often examined, scapegoating does occur in all kinds of groups, and the roleplay community is no exception. i have personally been scapegoated many times in my life: first by my mother’s abusive boyfriends who blamed me for their alcoholism and anger issues, then in a polyamorous relationship where i was told by one of my partners that our other partner’s abuse of us was because i wasn’t good enough.  signs of scapegoating include:

being shamed and toned policed for not ‘expressing yourself appropriately’ when you are angry or upset about being hurt by someone else;

being held responsible for the words or behaviour of other people;

being told that you need to act a certain way for the sake of another person, e.g. to make them less angry or to make them feel better when they’re upset;

being told ‘i don’t want to take sides’ in a situation where you are being hurt by another person;

having your anger, sadness or resentment at being hurt framed as ‘just as bad’ as the actions of the person hurting you;

being shamed or treated as a burden because others ‘have to support you’ when you’re upset over being mistreated.

scapegoating is very real and intensely painful and it happens in communities and friend groups all the time when there is toxic behaviour present. sometimes it can be solved through careful assertion of boundaries, if all individuals involved genuinely care about whether others are being hurt. this is unfortunately rarer than it should be.

in other instances, one may need to enforce low- or no-contact with the individuals in question. fortunately this is more easily done with friends than family from a logistical, if not an emotional perspective.

stay safe out there, friends.