howweforgot

[howweforgot]

sorry i’m late, professor. im disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis

[howweforgot]

Journal Entry #1 What makes me feel alive...

Rain, city lights, driving on the highway on the way to somewhere interesting. loud music, nights out when you don't have to go home.

I feel alive when the car windows are down, the rain is pouring in, and a city full of headlights are illuminated far earlier than normal. I feel alive when the loaded power of nature to completely change a day is felt in force by something that we have no control over. I love the way the simple, natural occurrence of rain can force a civilisation categorised by crushing nature under concrete and neglect, to change everything. It can ruin or make plans, flood a city, soak just-dried laundry, send children home with wet clothes, end a picnic- and there is simply nothing that can be done to stop it. Rainy days are raw and uncontrolled and free, they are relaxing and they remind me that the world will turn long after I'm gone, and that I am alive and living now and must do all my living while I can. 

I feel alive when I stop and look at city lights, and am reminded of the millions of other people living alongside me. The pinprick brightness spread across the city and speckled through the suburbs, indicating windows and cars and streetlights, showing that people are living and moving and spending their lives in millions of unique ways. It makes me feel alive to remember that I am 1 in 6 billion different lives, and it is entirely my choice how my life unfolds. 

I feel alive when the music is full blast, driving 100ks an hour down some highway leading somewhere. Going away for new experiences or to visit friends or go on a holiday- either way its exciting and the spirit of adventure is there. 

[howweforgot]

Its odd that when I started planning this new blog, I had a thousand and one things that I wanted to say, and write and do, but now that I have it made I cannot think of a single thing to say. I feel like I should write a short story, or haphazard thoughts and ponderings, but I have nothing. All I can say is that this time I hope to not chicken out of posting for fear that people won't like it, because in reality it isn't for anyone else but myself, so it shouldn't matter who does or doesn't like it. Its funny how much control over our lives we can give complete strangers without them even knowing…