hpwot

[hpwot]

I would like to congratulate greta thunberg on being the only funny person on twitter

[hpwot]

Wrong: Ada Lovelace invented computer science and immediately tried to use it to cheat at gambling because she was Lord Byron's daughter.

Right: Ada Lovelace invented computer science and immediately tried to use it to cheat at gambling because that was the closest you could get in 1850 to being a Super Mario 64 speedrunner.

[hpwot]

Just walked out of the new Superman movie and that might be the best superhero movie I've ever seen? More thoughts to come when I get home later but I am REELING

[hpwot]

James Gunn’s thesis statement for his Superman is simple and effective: "Be good. Do good. Be human despite the bad things. That is the most punk rock thing in a world so stoic and cynical."

And that’s how it should be. That’s beautiful, the new Superman movie is beautiful.

[hpwot]

excuse me for stating the obvious but like. james gunn outright calling superman an immigrant and doubling down on it when he got backlash (because he IS an immigrant, that's the point of superman) + the in-movie dialogue of "aren't you going to read me my rights?" "you're an extraterrestrial, son. you haven't got any rights to read." + the violence of his arrest and how they torture and mistreat him unapologetically, all under the guise of "protecting america", in a film releasing during the onslaught of violent ICE kidnappings and abuse... yeah it's really no wonder right-wing knobheads are crying about this being woke. they're being forced to look directly at the reasons one of the most notorious heroes of all time would not be on their side. and that's only ONE of the reasons this movie covers

[hpwot]

Ok, imagine you're comic accurate Clark Kent and you're a working-class immigrant raised on a farm. You grow up and dedicate your life to helping people while being a total malewife to your Pulitzer prize winner girlfriend. You're despised and targeted by an unethical, megalomaniacal billionaire who thinks his intellect and his power and his wealth entitles him to your inherent abilities and the adoration you've earned through years of nonstop altruism. YOU WERE CREATED BY TWO JEWISH MEN IN THE 1930S

And then people complain about a movie about you being too woke

[hpwot]

[hpwot]

(Superman Spoilers)

Lois Lane ragebaits Superman during an interview, pours half a container of sugar into about 4 ounces of coffee and dictates an article taking down lex luthor while driving a hovercraft. They nailed her. We are so back.

[hpwot]

I absolutely adore how normal Clark's parents looked so normal. I realize the ideal of them is a strong farmer and his wife and that might be a beautiful older woman and her sturdy handsome husband. Nothing wrong with that. But Martha and Jonathan Kent in this movie were the kind of older couple I'd see at the grocery store in my own small-town. The kind of people at the community hall and auction grounds picking up hay bales for the cattle.

They were warm and just so normal it almost surprises you. They also don't resemble Clark at all which I think is important in driving home the fact that they aren't his biological parents. He stands out amongst them it's so clear he's different and special even. And my god do they love him.

The way they call for him and sit on a rusty bench outside the creaky screen door. That feels like home to me having grown up on the prairies. How authentic they feel only grounds Clark even more. It feels less like a dream or idea of a perfect farm family and is more two people who tried their best and will bake apple pie with calloused hands full of love

[hpwot]

once again thinking about krypto bothering tim out of love (because tim is important to kon and therefore krypto must watch over and hang out with him, since he is kon's favorite squeaky toy).

i just know that sometimes krypto is in kansas and tim is in gotham, and then tim opens the fridge and suddenly krypto is in his kitchen. he doesnt know how krypto got in. there isn't even a dog shaped hole in the wall or anything! tim just opened the fridge and then closed the fridge and then went EEP!!!! and jumped 4 ft straight up because Suddenly There's A Dog Behind The Fridge Door. Waiting. Wagging.

because krypto just knows that sometimes treats come out of the fridge and so um maybe the fridge tim opened might have a treat in it. for krypto? has tim considered that? treats come out of the fridge and so um clearly tim opened his fridge because ummm he wanted. to give a treat. to krypto!!!

now tim doesn't keep dog treats in his fridge. he doesn't really know what to do here. he was just getting a zesti. but krypto is gazing at him with big expectant eyes and wagging his tail and shuffling his paws so politely.

so tim's like. uh.... and uncertainly offers krypto the zesti in his hand. do you... want this..?

krypto bites through the can and now theyre both soaked in zesti. (krypto shakes off vigorously) okay. tim and his kitchen floor are soaked in zesti. krypto is happily eating the metal can. honestly, tim, what did you expect here

[hpwot]

bad dog!

twitter

[hpwot]

fathers casually dropping the craziest lore of their lives in the middle of a conversation

[hpwot]

Adult Swim making an unholy amount of sense.

[hpwot]

Marcille is so funny to me. she's such a bait and switch. when we're first introduced to her you see this cute girl who's totally distraught at everything Laios does and you think she's gonna be the tropey token girl in the party who does the healing and stays out of the fights and has to be the designated Team Mom. but that's not Marcille at all. she's only on healing duty because Falin isn't around. she's a frontline attacker and she's constantly thinking about murder and explosions.

dungeon meshi really said "so there's this incredibly powerful black mage whose signature spell is "explode your skull" and she loves necromancy and is wanted in 5 countries. she can heal in a pinch but when she does it, it hurts, because there isn't a gentle bone in her body" and then she looks like this. i love her so much

[hpwot]

Genies can only grant wishes that are things that an ordinary person could do, just better and faster. The jinn are the creations of a divine being, and so they are part of the divine plan and cannot defy the natural order of things; a wish granted by a jinni can’t turn the day into night or the sea into yogurt, but if you wish for a temple to be built, a jinni will build it by hand, the way men do, and have it done in a day.

If you need a wish granted that defies the natural order you gotta catch a leprechaun, because no god was involved in their creation whatsoever. They just kinda showed up one day in the nineteenth century. The Aos Sí have no idea what their deal is

[hpwot]

I don't know why people think Danny would disagree with Batman on the no killing rule or why he'd be aligned with Jason on anything. Danny doesn't even believe in killing people who deserve it and even if he did he's a 14 year old boy. He believes in petty revenge of course but that's hardly the same as cutting people's heads off.

I feel like this fandom is more interested in voicing their own personal grievances with Bruce (though many of them don't read the comics) then writing Danny as the character he is. I'm not saying that I don't do that as well.

I just feel like sometimes people are writing Dan and not Danny. Danny at the end of the say is a average teenage boy. He's selfish sometimes but at the end of the day he's a good kid. He's not going to go on a murderous rampage on the Joker even preemptively especially if he has never met the guy before. (You guys know the fics im talking about. It's so common for Danny to see Danny met the Joker and immediately kill him just to gain Jason's attention or something) Danny hates clowns, I get it. But if seeing a clown is enough to make him lose touch with reality that's an awful portrayal of the character.

I don't think it's that big a deal at the end of the day to write fics like that. The problem is when fans start to think that's the default or that it's in Danny's character. At the end of the day I'd never write Danny killing someone. Not even the Joker because that's not his place. It's not his story. I'd never robe that from Jason or Bruce or anyone who has deep connections to that clown. Danny had his enemies and I'd be pissed to high hell if my worst enemy was killed by some guy I had never met. That would the most anticlimactic ending with no real resolution. No facing my demons up close or moral questioning. Boring. That worst part for me. It's boring. I've seen it a thousand times and it still just as boring as the first. It's not cleaver or insitful.

I miss when we talked about the layers of Danny. Now it's either "Danny is just a little gremlin who wants to make trouble." or "Danny is full of trauma and misery and he doesn't trust anybody." Its never "Danny is a complex character who isn't perfect and he can be a petty little shit sometimes. He loves his family and friends and is willing to extend the olive branch to those he sees as needing help even if they have hurt him."

The show was all about Danny growing into his hero role and helping others. He isn't a calluse vengeful monster. He can forgive. He can control himself. He is just a kid! He isn't VLAD! He isn't DAN!

[hpwot]

Huge thanks to Richard of the Order of the Blade for throwing me around!

(If you’re in the UK, consider checking them out! The order are a combat school with a really fun and welcoming ethos)

And as always, more bows, swords, and nonesense on Patreon