hubertbreast
hubertbreast
hubert b
28 posts
he / she
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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House md is such a trip because House and Wilson are standing cock to cock, tip to tip, packer to packer, emotionally and physically. House's employees have a polyamorous codependent relationship while also being at each other's throats constantly. Foreman's so represssed they think he's gay, Chase is so sexually active that he can't possibly be straight, Taub and Kutner scissored, Cameron's probably gay but she has a job to do so she isn't going to think about it too hard, Thirteen is bisexual and went to jail once. Everyone has used drugs recreationally at least once. They break into everyone's home then insult the state of their home and then diagnose the patient based on a "That's so Raven" vision that House has. They shouldn't have been doctors, they would all thrive better as Waffle house employees that leap over the counter to fight customers.
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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greg house stays in the closet so he can say faggot and have people get offended by it
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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House would have figured out what’s wrong with Will Graham after nearly killing him and would have been like oh yeah also your therapist has been feeding you poison chicken soup that’s why you’re getting worse, probably should check his freezer too the guys not subtle with the cannibalism. But it’s easy to miss all this when you’re getting bent over the therapy chair instead of sitting in it.
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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truly nothing about house md prepares you for wilson. he's fucking insane. he's been divorced three times. he's the only person who can scheme just as well as house. he gives a patient his own liver bc he felt bad for him - a patient who didn't even know wilson's name. btw. he noticed a patient had depression bc he never mentioned his grandkids. he starred in a porno. he dosed house with antidepressants for several weeks. he allowed his boybestie and his gf to share custody of him and didn't even try to stop it. house told him to buy a piece of furniture that represented who he was, and he bought a $4000+ organ for house. he was gonna torpedo his career to talk abt euthanasia bc one of his patients suffered longer than he had to. he let house move into his 1 bed apartment bc his therapist thought it'd be a good idea. this man would do anything for anybody if they let him. he'd fucking quit his job to save a snail off the sidewalk. bro is not normal in the slightest
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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House would treat two gay patients like shit and get sued for being homophobic and cuddy would go "he's not homophobic, he treats everyone like that!" which does not hold up in court so instead he's like how can I be homophobic when I have a boyfriend? Wilson stand up. Everyone would turn to Wilson (who had ZERO warning about this) and he'd stutter before glaring at House and stand "yes, House is unfortunately my boyfriend"
Then they'd walk out of the courtroom and Wilson would chew him out which House ignores. Cue 3 days layer when Wilson says House needs to clear up they lied about being gay to get him off (ha) and they're not actually dating because he is NOT getting any dates like this. House would walk into the hospital cafeteria and yell "ATTENTION EVERYONE. Doctor Wilson is not my boyfriend." Wilson would nod for 2 seconds before House follows up with "because we're engaged!" and Wilson can't even be mad because why did he think for 2 seconds that House would make it easy for him
House would try to use this as an opportunity to demand less clinic hours (think of it as a wedding gift) which he does not get because Cuddy knows exactly what's going on and she thinks it's hilarious but she needs his ass working
Cuddy: yeah? You two are a thing? How big is he?
House: 5.3 inches
Wilson: how the FUCK do you know that
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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let’s commit medical malpractice with mama
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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i know the idea of 'hear me out' type posts is weird non-conventional attraction but i also have a fascination for the people whos 'hear me outs' are conventionally attractive characters from the most OBSURE media. like if you were asked to name a sexy character and your first thought is the girl from a mostly forgotten 1980s canadian animated scifi musical im gonna be way more intrigued by whats going on in your brain than if you had said like. the dragon from shrek yknow.
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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hannibal is so cringefail because how do you successfully get away with literal murder and cannibalism for years all while being a well respected sophisticate and food connoisseur and then risk it all for a guy covered in dog hair who is also an asshole and also wants to kill you real bad
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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Okay, let me ramble.
My personal headcanon is that Abigail was a very fragile and easily sick when she was a little child and that's why Hobbs was so obsessive with his daughter and so his love ultimately became toxic.
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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one of my favourite genres of character is , specifically a doctor or scientist who is So deeply evil coded but they're a member of the good guy team & actively helping. & theyre not even a reformed villain theyre just like that. going hehehehehee in their dark scary lab while developing an device that will actually help a lot of people
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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I believe wholeheartedly that neither Will nor Hannibal can use the internet properly.
Hannibal: Look at this, Will *sends AI video of a dog fishing* Hannibal: This is all I ever wanted for you. For both of us. Will: it's beautiful Hannibal: *sends another AI video of a dog and a deer dancing to Tchaikovsky* Two animals, never known to communicate with each other. So far from humanity, yet so understanding of each other in their shared experience. Music, wonder, passion and glory. A symphony of understanding that no other man could even fathom. Will: the dog has too many fingers it must have a genetic disorder Hannibal: Strange, unusual. Just like you.
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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let’s hide the body with mama
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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Who made this edit, it's the most valid one
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:
transition
bdsm
iron supplements
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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hubertbreast · 3 months ago
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bro last night was totally redacted! last night was fully expunged from the record. bro, do you... can you remember last night? what did we do...? what did... did we hurt someone? bro? why won't you look at me? what did I do...? whose blood is this...? bro...?
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