i-cant-sing

[i-cant-sing]

I'm gonna miss Colin :( Poor thing

Colin is suffering from alcoholic liver cirrhosis atm

[i-cant-sing]

Will Baldwin ever come back in the series, Just asking because it feels like that is not the last time we will see him?

You say it like I’m holding him hostage (I am)

[i-cant-sing]

You know I'm giggling picturing Baldwin in readers time, no no no not him growing up but if that time machine brought us to the right time and him to modern times and just imagine reader was a massive geek loser with a bunch of posters having to explain to him😭

“Is this your chamber?” He asked as he walked into your room, while you scrambled to lock your door and pull down the curtains, lest anyone sees him.

“Is that me?” Your blood runs cold as you hear him faintly gasp from the bedroom and you dash in.

Baldwin’s unphased by your attempts at trying to push him away from your board, where there are multiple pictures of him pinned. “You have a shrine of me in your room.”

“This is not a shrine!” But it’s like he’s not even listening to a word you’re saying, his eyes glazed over at the board.

“This is devotion.”

“It’s not devotion, it’s like… aesthetic appreciation. Of history. With maybe a little bit of… admiration. And thirst. I MEAN THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE—” Baldwin is grinning widely under his mask.

“Do you lie to all kings? Or just me?” He finally looks at you, further adding onto your embarrassment. “I do hope that I’m the only one privileged enough to be in your chambers.”

“Are you asking me if I bring other men into my bedroom?” You narrow your eyes, attempting to remove the attention from the board. “What, are you jealous?”

He stares into your eyes, no hint of amusement in them. Then, he slowly raises his hand to remove his mask, setting it aside and looks at you.

His lip quirks up. “I’m not jealous, angel. I see your devotion, and not just from my shrine there.” He leans down, closer to you. “I see it in your eyes. You dream of me.”

“Dreams? I have insomnia-” But he cuts off your attempts at brushing him off.

“You honor me with your heart, even if your tongue fears to confess it. Do you know what that does to a man unloved?” He whispers, and you try to shrink away until your back hits the wall.

“You- you weren’t unloved.” You say and a wave of softness washes over his face. “I was, until you came along…” he murmured.

Avoiding his blue eyes, you looked to the side as you told him how he was popular with time. “You’re… a legend. People have only ever spoken good about you. About your acts. You’re a hero-“

“Is that a painting of me without my top?”

“Stop-!” You try to cover his eyes with your hands but he just grabs them with one hand and pins you against the wall.

“It’s adorable to see myself through your eyes.” He smiles, his dimples appearing as he tucks a strand of your hair over your ear. “And to have an angel as my devotee… I’m honored.”

He sees your eyes widen before you narrow them and look away, your face turning red and he chuckles, pulling you to him as he hides your face in his chest.

“I’m not obsessed with you, you know?” You mumble. He hums, swaying you a bit as he pets your hair, consoling you. “Mmhm. I believe you, darling.” He kisses the top of your head. “Y/n?”

“Hm?”

“Why is my face on your pillow?”

Later:

Baldwin: “So why is my face on your pillow?”

Y/n: I use it. Wanna see?

Baldwin, lust washing over his eyes: I would be lucky-

Y/n, proceeds to punch pillow over and over again: so when I’m studying and I need to learn complicated things, I act like I’m teaching to this pillow- well you, and I’m the emotionally unavailable father who needs to teach you math😌

Baldwin:

Y/n:

Baldwin:

Y/n:

Baldwin: can you order me a pillow with your face on it? I think I can show you how to use it correctly😏 *gets smacked in the face by the pillow*

[i-cant-sing]

have we thought that jtr could be from the ottoman era? it could be mehmed

He’s not smart enough to pull that off

[i-cant-sing]

Cadbury doesn't get paid enough for all these 🤣

I mean, Silas has pretty much had given up all his assets (mainly the FitzGeorge estate) and other remaining wealth to Cadbury before he left to be a cults sacrifice, and he never asked for it back, so really- Silas gets his allowances from Cadbury and Silas enjoys it now because he doesn’t have to make responsible financial decisions now, not since you died. He’s going to make Cadbury age prematurely at this rate because he just asked his butler for money because he wanted to make a catapult that would yeet him across the gate.

[i-cant-sing]

more yearning silas pls mother

“What about me????!!!!” Cadbury screeches at you all, his hair wild and bags under his eyes from the insomnia of keeping Silas from dying. “That little shithead-! That depressed money wad is finding new ways to end his life- oh and he’s getting creative! He’s SO creative! Do you know I spent the entire night with my fingers down his throat to make him puke the hot chocolate that I thought he mixed with a fuck ton of sugar but ended up being POWDERED PILLS?!” he runs a hand through his hair and cackles humorously. “He told me he was going out for a swim! He didn’t tell me he was going with ricks stuffed in his pockets! I had to pull him out of the ice cold lake! I still feel the chills in my bones!”

You cleared your throat nervously. “Well, he’ll be stable eventually-“

“Stable?!” He yelled, eyes wild. “That’s for horses-! Oh god, oh jeez- fuck! That shithead told me he’d go for horseriding- he’s going to get himself trampled, isn’t he? FUCKS SAKE-!” He stormed out to the stables, muttering about war being easier than this.

[i-cant-sing]

ttau indus valley / ancient south asia next 😛😛

We had a whole chapter on Indus Valley in history class when I was in grade 5, and somehow all the teacher taught me was about the great drainage system they had going on😭

[i-cant-sing]

What does thou beautiful writer mind think of Ancient Greece as our next bus stop?

Achilles and Patroclus have been on my mind all year long 🥰

Not into Greek mythology for this au because I feel like we should focus on mortal figures

[i-cant-sing]

We need more Baldwin and y/n 😤🥹 will not stop believing he will come back 😤😤😤😤 they are destined together

How Baldwin sleeps in heaven knowing he’s going to be living rent free in all yalls mind for the rest of time:

[i-cant-sing]

What if the next place y/n travels to ancient Mesopotamia or the Song dynasty of China as some ideas

Oh hell naw. I’d need to study both of these eras and there’s just so much history with both eras, I don’t have the time rn for that

[i-cant-sing]

ERMMM DAWG HOW DARE YOU!!! SILAS IS MY SHAYLA AND WE JUST LEFT HIM LIKE THAT OMLLLL IM CRYING WATERFALLS 😭😭😭😭

Silas is my Shayla too cause I just can’t stop thinking about how he’s gonna be feeling that Y/n fucking died in front of his eyes- his only family??? That he has failed yet again???

Like I can picture him just being in his study alone, drinking and looking up with glistening eyes, realising that God is not as merciful to him… that he wasn’t allowed to keep the one good thing in his life that he fought so hard for.

His work, life- everything had completely lost all meaning the instant you died. And he can’t even give you a proper funeral because you were burnt to ashes in that godfrosaken place. He knows because he looked for your body in the rubble. Oh and just that act alone was a whole another world of pain. Look for your remains? His wife’s? Every time he pushed a rock side, lifted up a wooden beam and peeked under, he felt his soul leave a little. He’d be relieved whenever he didn’t find anything, but he saw you die in front of him. When that burning beam fell on you and JTR, he saw it.

He let Cadbury search the rubble while he sat outside, smoking. What is he to do with your remains if he does find them? Is he supposed to brush up the ashes? Or scoop your mangled remains, more than likely now mixed up with concrete and wood? And then what- dump them in a coffin?

God must really hate me. He exhaled a puff of smoke. Of course He does. Why else would he take everyone I’ve ever cared about from me? Why would He make the woman I love die in front of me?

Why would He make me bury my wife?

Silas spent months later to bury his pain. He’s taken up drinking, smoking and every illegal substance there was to make him stop thinking about you, but it seemed to only onset hallucinations of you. And at some point, his body didn’t even react to the effects of these drugs, he was still sober, even in dangerously lethal doses.

He’d stare into the distance with his red rimmed eyes, knowing full well that the girl in front of him is just a hallucination. You’re not real. You died. So he doesn’t react when you giggle, when you call him. He doesn’t move when you sit next to him, lean your head on his shoulder. He knows you’re not real.

Doesn’t mean it makes it any less painful. He wishes he could delude himself into believing you were real. He wishes he’d go mad and chase shadows that are not there. He wishes he could lose his mind and wipe his memory of you.

If I can’t have you, then why can’t I forget you? Why can’t he be granted this one bit of mercy? Why can’t he forget about you?

Silas could care less about living or dying then. He’d go silent while your hallucinations accompanied him as he ingested a bottle of poison, as he’d pick a fight with a gang to beat him, as he jumped into cold river with heavy rocks tied to his body, all in effort to join you. Or at the very least, focus on trying to survive/that he’s going to die, in order to forget about you for a few moments. But no, you still haunt him.

Cadbury would be the one to save him everytime, he’d yell, he’d scold, he’d cry whenever he saved Silas, who would only apologise for worrying him, his tone apathetic. His butler would ask what he can do to help, but Silas doesn’t know how to explain that he only want you back.

[i-cant-sing]

You've really pulled my leg I thought it was Baldwin, I was like dying thinking it was him I was so happy and then it turned out to be Older Silas, I can't- I MISS SO MUCH

Even though I enjoy pulling the carpet and surprising everyone, I think if I was one of u guys, I’d fucking hate the author for the 10000000 plot twists omg even I have a hard time keeping up😭😭😭

[i-cant-sing]

Snow I'm really worried about young Silas tho 😭 dude was ok dying before but now after seeing the reader "die" in front of him what if he kills himself or something 😔

Thank God someone cares about that😭🙏

[i-cant-sing]

Part 15 is amazing, you write so good. I wish I could write like that. Anyway maybe we can go to China or Japan next part 😎 Or we can go Roma period.

Next part is not in the works rn, so I’m open to all ideas (I have an idea that I want to do but I’m open to other eras too”

[i-cant-sing]

I'm still half expecting Baldwin to come back. Like every arc he's just... Haunting the narrative... MENACINGLY.

Hehehe ok delulu girly🥰

[i-cant-sing]

Okay another thing i wanna mention is- i love how the yanderes (love interests?) kinda paralel eachother. (They don't i'm crazy BUT HEAR ME OUT ISTG)

Baldwin and Benjamin are quite obvious. I mean i thought about it even before chapter 15, Benjamin was way too sweet and blonde it lowkey made me suspicious and BAM. HE'S THE MURDERER HE'S DELUSIONAL HE'S A CRAZY CHRISTIAN RELIGIOUS FANATIC. Same exact thing happened with Baldwin YOU AREN'T FOOLING ME. Also Benjamin being a Baldwin fanboy is cracking me like welcome to the club ig??

Salahaddin and Ibrahim, the mentally stable and safest Muslim duo tbh. They weren't obsessive they actually wanted us to be safe and be loved by them, giving us the personal space that we need. They were the comfort zone of their respectable chapters and i loved that. Green flags. Too bad they got overshadowed by the red flags bruh

Mustafa and Silas, not in the love sense (hell, nobody can match Silas in that) instead they both got this "i have to humble my relatives to avenge my mother /and sister" thing going on. They both did it by kinda killing their relative so it paralels even more lol

Mehmet and Henry on the other hand have the capacity to actually cause direct harm. The capability of physically hurting or threating us yk, worst kind of yandere idc they deserved the beating they got

As a honorable mention Barış and Scarlett almost got the same personality?? LMAO not even your average fictional spoiled brat have this level of sassiness. They both get a kick out of insulting and making things harder for us (average mosquito behaviour) and both lowkey pimp girls to nobles <\3

Ik i'm probably tweaking but while looking at their character plot points at 3 a.m i had a vision 🥀💔

You know what? That’s a really good observation. I didn’t plan on it. And you know, if I had more time and motivation, I would’ve done a better job at all of them being even more distinct yanderes (I guess I could do that with some side stories and oneshots/drabbles)

[i-cant-sing]

That recent chapter got me FUCKED up like whilst I was reading i kept throwing my phone and shit that wasnt just a chapter it was a whole emotional roller-coaster ride where idk if I should enjoy it or throw up bcs there was so many twists.

Thank you🥰🥰🥰