iam-constant

[iam-constant]

Reasons why the Batman Lego Movie is arguably one of the best movies of 2017

Batman blankly says the lines of “Man in the Mirror” by Michael Jackson and claims it as his own quote.

Uses every opportunity to call Robin “Master Dick” and still manages to keep a U rating

Patrick Stump writes and performs a heavy metal song both praising Batman and outing him for tax evasion

Proceeds to make 3 Suicide Squad jokes/references with 2 of them calling it stupid, then proceeds to use it’s plot for twenty minutes

Kite Man is there

The Bat Family bond by blowing up the Eye of Sauron

Voldemort, the Wicked Witch, Daleks, Jaws, the Gremlins and the raptors from Jurassic Park are all there for some reason and it’s never explained

The Justice League throw a party without Batman and he gets sad

“you’ve been union jacked”

Mentions Iron Man to remind you that Lego also has the rights to them

Puts in loads of pop songs to remind you that Lego bought the rights to them too

Actually makes a reference to Dick Grayson being able to speak Romanian

Has a genuinely amazing soundtrack

Is great and honestly if  I had the money I’d have already seen it 5 more times

[iam-constant]

Better End

#12

- Hey, there princess. – You slowly open your eyes. – Dream anything good about me?

- What… happened?

- You know, just the usual. We fell apart badly. – You try to sit up on the rock bed, I reach to help you.

- Don’t touch me…

- What’s wrong? – I guess, I don’t get any time off.

- What’s wrong? Are you fucking kidding me? You’ve been messing with me all this time?

- What are you talking about? I’m as confused as you are right now.

- You didn’t seem confused at all and he admitted it. You were the one that beat my…

- Wait what? That was true? - Shit. - Fuck… is he really dead?

- Don’t play dumb with me… You did it. And no, he’s not dead, but he was really close. - Your irritated voice is not the best sound to hear, especially when it’s irritated because of me.- He even told me it was you, I didn’t believe him. I came here to talk to you and I find you dead.

- I’m sorry OK? But I’m not playing… I swear, I had no idea princess.

- I told you already, stop fucking calling me that. – You tried to stand from the bed on the left leg, but it gave out. I helped you stand. – Fuck off, already… and stop playing around, I know what you are doing. I know you want to make yourself look good, so I’m the evil one.

- Look, I have zero clues what you are talking about. And if I wanted to make you look bad, I’d stop at the part where you broke up with me, but I’m trying to help you stand right now OK? So can you like help me back a little?

- I don’t need your help and what the fuck is wrong with my leg? I can’t properly move it.

- Yeah OK, I admit, that was my fault…

- What do you mean? – You sit back on the bed and raise the leg. – Why are my clothes all red and why do I have a scar on my leg? – You look at me with the angry eyes. - Did you try to fucking cut off my leg?

- Don’t be ridiculous, I wasn’t trying to cut your leg off. – You roll your finger along the scar. – I tried to cut mine, it’s just the “worldmaker” somehow altered the thread and connection, so you received the injury.

- What the hell is wrong with you? – You scream at me. - You tried to cut your leg off? Why can’t you just act normally for a second?

- Oh, really? Here, of all places you expect me to act normal?

- It would be nice change of pace for once. What were you even thinking? Why would you ever consider cutting your own leg off?

- Well, what do you expect of me? You were unconscious and I was just trying to get you out of this place. I have to somehow lock the door from the inside, so the douche doesn’t follow. But I can’t do it, because we’re tied up like this. Marg said that the thread can’t be cut so I thought cutting my leg off would work. I’m statis, it wouldn’t even hurt me. How was I supposed to know it would end up like this? – You looked at me for a second and noticed the blood on me.

- You’re all soaked in blood. – Your voice went down a bit. I must look like shit. – How long was I out?

- I don’t know, at least an hour or so. – I called out to “worldmaker” to bring a mirror and it did. I looked inside and boy do I look red. My hands, arms, shirt, jacket, jeans, even my hair and face is drenched in your blood. I guess I wasn’t feeling any of that, when I was trying to attach your foot back.

- An hour? – You look back at your ankle. – Look at this. You ruined my favorite socks and jeans.

- Hey, I love those socks and jeans just as much and it hurts me even more than you know to see them like this.

- You don’t even… You should just clean yourself.

- We don’t have time for that, Mr. Douche is probably looking for us. I’ve been moving the night cave around, but he’ll find us eventually. We need to do something.

- Do you have any plan?

- None, whatsoever. I was hoping you’d ask “worldmaker”. You know, the way you used to.

- What are you talking about?

- Well you know. It always listens to you in some weird way. Remember it would help you create things that were needed.

- That’s your plan? To hold a putty in a hand and hope the “worldmaker” helps? Another you seemed more prepared, he knows a lot about fighting in here.

- I know, he even knows how to fly.

- And you don’t? You still haven’t learned how to fly?

- No… Which is fucking lame. I tried like bazillion times, I fall on my ass every damn time.

- It’s the first thing I learned, the easiest trick in here.

- I know, you told me that every time I fell.

- Well, whatever. Did you even try the putty?

- Yeah, it didn’t work.

- You know, whatever will be created, if something will be created, it’ll be another puzzle.

- I know, it’s really hard to pin the reason why the world creates what it creates, but maybe we get lucky this time. We could use some right about now.

- OK, but I think you should start thinking about other options. – You close your eyes and call the “worldmaker”. The ground rises as a small pillar in front of you and stops near your hand. You pick up the clay that is on the pillar and hold it with both hands. For a couple of seconds, nothing is happening. – I think it’s not working… – Then suddenly, the putty starts growing, transforming in your hand.

- You give up too easily. – Clay takes shape and it’s familiar but not in the good way. You look at me, as the putty finishes transformation. You throw the object away. It’s an iron crowbar.

- What… What does it mean? Why would it create that thing?

- I don’t know. – I look in your eyes. - But are you sure. It was the “worldmaker” that created it?

- What are you talking about?

- Well, you’re obviously still angry with me, so maybe…

- Oh, you think just because I’m angry with you I want to kill you?

- Uhh… It happened once, it can happen again.

- Oh, fuck you. – I walk towards the crowbar and pick it up. It looks like a simple iron bar, nothing unusual.

- What am I supposed to do with it now? Hit it over my head? It just always has to be a puzzle with you.

- Yeah, blame everything on me. That will help a lot.

- I’m not blaming. – No matter how I turn this bar, it’s not making any sense. – I’m thinking that “worldmaker” is on your side.

- You know that’s stupid. It doesn’t have sides.

- Well, it create a crowbar that you crowbarred me to death with when you were asking for help. Why?

- I don’t know that. Maybe it’s saying to kill the other you?

- If we kill other me, there will be no body for me to go back to. And we can’t even move properly, this thread is making everything harder. You can’t fly away. – I touch the thread, it’s warm.

- It’s that woman’s fault. I was against it remember?

- Yes I remember. But if it wasn’t for this thread you’d be gone ten times over already.

- That’s also true… - Thread in my hand suddenly started losing color and warmth, in the end it disappeared.

- OK, seriously. It’s totally on your side now… - We stare at each other surprised.

- I’m not… - Suddenly the ground started shaking. That must be the douche. I look at you. - What are we going to do?

- You get out of the “worldmaker”, I’ll deal with my own demons.

- You can’t kill him, you just said it.

- Don’t worry princess. I’ll improvise, like usual. – I take the key out of my jacket and I give it to you. – Here take it. I’ll lock the door behind.

- You’re going to need help. You can’t win against him.

- I’ll manage don’t worry. – You look me in the eyes as the roof of night cave opens up and lets the sun in. – You should really go.

- Nobody’s going anywhere… – I hear my own voice. – Not without my say so. – I look around but I don’t see anybody. – You both stay right here.

- Princess, when I say run, run towards the entrance and don’t look back. I’ll hold him off.

- No, I’m staying…

- For what reason? You have your life outside. I’ll deal with this imaginary problem on my own, now leave. I don’t need you here, trust me. – You look at me.

- Fine, I’ll leave. But don’t die or do something stupid OK?

- Well, I did both already, so… – I smile at you to get some courage, you smile back at me. - Ready?

- Yes. – I call the “worldmaker”, I don’t know where the douche is exactly so I push everything, except the entrance away. The cave splits, at first it seems like it’s actually growing or we’re becoming smaller and smaller. – RUN, NOW PRINCESS! – You start running towards the entrance, but suddenly a pillar bursts out of the ground, it almost hit you.

- You stay right there, you are not running away. – Douche is in the air. – Look at me now, LOOK AT ME!

- DON’T STOP PRINCESS, KEEP RUNNING. – I pick a boulder and throw it towards him, It missed.

- I SAID, LOOK AT ME! – You are still, running. He’s creating obstacles to stop you, I have to somehow get his focus off you, but he’s in the air, screaming out all his rage. It thunders and the sky goes dark again. The rain starts to pour down. I throw another boulder at him, but it stops right in front of him and the douche stands on it. It’s like I’m no match for him. – LOOK AT ME! – I have to change the strategy. – ANNIKA! - Deafening sound of thunder breaks. - LOOK AT ALL THE MESS YOU’VE MADE. – The lightning almost hits you. That’s it douche, Now you’ve done it. I launch myself in the air and this time he took notice, but it was too late. I grab him with the both hands and drag him away. – What are you doing? She’s getting away… YOU MORON, YOU CAN’T EVEN FLY.

- But I’m a pro at falling down. – I hope you left already princess. We both fall on the ground, but the ground is too soft. It’s like a cushion. He must have managed to change it, before we hit the ground. I roll away and hit the tree. He’s on the ground in front of me. As I try to stand up I feel the pain in my arm.

- I know you’re probably thinking, “But, I’m statis, why does it hurt”? That’s because I created it just for you. – I look at my arm. A blade is pierced through it. That douche bag, he must have done it in the air. I fall back on my ass. He stands up and comes close. – The blade kills statis, do you feel how it makes you disappear? – I try to take the blade out, but he pushes it back.

- Aaaaah…

- Oh, that hurts doesn’t it? Do you want it to stop? Don’t worry… - He whispers in my ear. – It will end soon. And you won’t like the end.

- It doesn’t matter, she left already.

- You think I care? She’s just a bonus. First priority for me is to get the body… - He’s playing with the blade and it’s not feeling that good.

- What do you want that body for? You have it already… why does it matter if you get the old one?

-  Oh don’t tell me, you forgot that too. When the dumbass split us, he left some memories just for himself. One of which is about “worldmaker” and how to connect it with the real world. - What? It can be connected to the real world? When did I learn that? -  When I take the body back in my control, I can be the fucking god of the world. Don’t you see that? Whatever I want will happen. So that princess of yours can run all she wants to… there is no way she can hide from me.

- Oh boy, you really are a chestnut, aren’t you. That’s like the lamest evil theme as it gets. World domination, really? I mean are you trying to make us look bad? – But he’s right. We both forgot something important.

- You can joke more, it always amuses me. But this blade… - He shakes the blade. – Will erase you. – Then suddenly a blue mark appears on his face. When I understand what it is, I start laughing. – Why are you lau… - His eyes cross and he falls back on the ground.

- I guess it’s your turn to have your head smashed in. - I grab the blade out of my arm and I stand up slowly. Another bruise appears on his face as he screams.

- Aaaah… What is happening?

- I guess, princess figured it out. - When I hit the douche injury transferred to the body, there was no reason, why it shouldn’t work backwards. He shoved his face in his hands. I walk up to the douche with blade in my hand and start looking for a key in a jacket. I find it and call the “worldmaker” for the second entrance. The one, that douche came from.

- But you can’t kill me. She can’t kill me. I’m you. – I turn my back on douche and open the doorway.

- I know, I don’t think she can’t finish the job. Not this time. So, I’ll have to get my hands dirty. – I look back as the douche jumps on me. We both stumble out of the “worldmaker”, we’re in some weird apartment. I drop the blade and fall back. Douche is hitting me with all his anger and rage.

- You are the problem all along, you were the reason she left. Not me, you are the reason… - His fists don’t hurt, but I’m losing statis each time he hits. I have to do something. I cover my head with one hand, I see the blade. I reach out to get it, but it’s too far. -  She loves me, she needs me… - I’m trying to hold him with one hand, still hoping that I’ll reach the blade. But I can feel it, with each hit I’m slipping away, I can’t hold. I close my eyes… and that’s when I feel a blade in my hand. As a reflex, I swing it with all I have without opening my eyes. Punching session stops… did I do it? I open my eyes and see the douche with a blade stuck in his head. He’s dead for good. I push the body off me and get up. I look around the place. It seems strangely familiar, but I don’t remember exactly and I don’t have time to examine it. I go towards the entrance to “worldmaker”, statis is worn out, I can barely walk straight. I enter the world. The weather is better, it’s sunny with no chance of rain. I have to find you, I hope you stopped beating the slouch. I walk towards the rivertea and I see you princess. With a crowbar over your head. I think I’m having Deja vu.

- Princess, it’s done. You can stop now. – You look back and crowbar falls from your hand on the ground. I look at the body, it’s pretty bruised up. – I thought you left for sure.

- I was going to, but then I decided to stay for the kicks.

- Hah… you’re always welcome for that. – I look back at the body.

- What happened? Is it really over?

- Ye, it’s over. I just needed something sharp to get the argument through the thick skull of his. – I look at you. Your eyes are teared up. Ready to produce some of the highest quality water. -  Don’t worry, you did what you had to, you actually saved my life.

- Are you going to get inside now? - You point at the body.

- Yeah, I probably should. – You walk towards the body and put the heart back in the chest. – Are you sure this will work?

- Yeah, if I know anything about myself. There is no way I’ll keep sleeping instead of seeing you.

- How romantic. – You fix my hair.

- Will you stay for a while? – You nod in agreement.

I walk up to the body and touched myself. (God that sounds naughty.) I feel the breeze, lifted off and drifting in. It feels natural, like before. Then I get a slight discomfort, It’s trying to push me out, I feel the pain and all the bruises. It’s fighting back, but then I feel it, somebody is calling. I push as hard as I can, and I manage to get a hold of it. I open my eyes as they encounter yours closed, your breath falling on my face. My head resting in your lap.  I don’t think there will be any amount enough for me. I’d die over and over if that’s what it takes to keep you coming back for me. You pull back and look away.

- Did you just… - You smile with that foxy smile of yours.

- Don’t get any funny ideas. I did it because I had to… How are you feeling?

- I’m good, bit beaten up. But I’ll be good. I do have this weird feeling, like the clothes are too big though.

- You can just get new one.

– Well then, I guess that’s it princess. I’m alive again.

-  Yeah? How does it feel?

- It hurts a bit when I think.

-  Ha-ha. I guess your humor is still dead. – I’m staring at you. – Stop looking at me like that. - You cover my eyes with your hand. – What are you plans now?

- No plans, just another day to live by. - I grab your hand and kiss the palm.

- Eew… Seriously, what’s with the hand fetish?

- I have only one fetish princess and it’s for you.

- I don’t know. You used to kiss my hands a lot.

- Well, that’s because I knew they would eventually have to kick my ass and I was just hoping they’d go easy on me. But they totally didn’t.

- And now it’s romantic and tragic.

- I told you, I do this lame stuff only for you princess. – We sit under the tree for quite a while, I could take roots here. But I feel you want to move. My body is almost healed. I don’t want to, but I raise my head.

- Did you remember what happened? - You ask.

- Yes, I remember. It wasn’t as much fun though.

- Why did you do it? Why did you split yourself up?

- Oh, I didn’t do it. I wouldn’t even know how to do it. It was the “worldmaker”. I think it just got fed up with my wallowing in the sadness and created an enemy I could fight for you. It tried to give me better reason than what I was left with.

- And what was that if I may know? – You force a smile on your face.

- That you left me for another… – Oh how I hate these moments, when something I say makes that adorable face look sad.

- I…

- Don’t… you probably forgot the reason “why” already. It doesn’t mean that there was none at the time. – I stand up. -  Come on, I have something to show you. – I help you get up and we walk for a second to the mountain top. – You see that big tree at the horizon? – You nod. - I made some new rules to the “worldmaker”. I got to play around with the perspective.

- What does that mean?

- Look. – I position my hand, so that it looks like I’m holding the tree. The birds fly away from the tree in flocks as I grab it and take it out with roots. I clean it a bit.

- Wow… that’s actually really cool.

- I know you’re too cool for the flowers, so… – I give you the tree.

- It’s beautiful, but it won’t follow in real world. It will disappear.

- Than I’ll get you another one. – You hug me, we stay like this for a while, and then I say something lame again. - I love you.

- I… I have to… – You hug me tighter. Your voice, it sounds so lonely, so tired.

- I know princess. – We only get a day in paradise. – I didn’t say it to hear it back. – I let you go. – I want to thank you, for helping me… live I guess. – I call the “worldmaker” and it brings the entrance. – I know you have to go… I think I’ll be here for a while, creating some interesting worlds. Who knows, maybe you’ll take interest in one of them. – You look at me with those sad eyes, you seem lost again. - Hey I know it’s dumb and all and it’s a fool’s hope all over again. But I just can’t stop thinking about it princess.

- About what?

- You know, how they say that third time is the charm. – You smile.

- How… how can you be sure? – I start laughing.

- Sure? I don’t have to be sure princess, remember? I’m in love. – You start laughing too. – See you around, princess. – You turn around and go through the door. The entrance is closed and the wind only blows from west. 

This is it princess, it's not the best I’d want for us, but it's the end I can live with. The better kind of ending, out of all the other, the one where it’s not really…

                                                 The END

[iam-constant]

[iam-constant]

Better Ends

#11

Back in the days of my unfamiliar self I had this trick that I used when I was feeling bad. I’d imagine worse kind of a situation for me.  Like, if I was having a broken heart or just a really shitty day, I’d imagine how it would be to have a sword or a spear jammed in my chest, or I’d imagine how somebody in worse state than me was begging to switch lives with me. Usually it helped, but then suddenly it didn’t. Swords and spears didn’t hurt enough and I just couldn’t care about the rest. All I could think about was how strange this pain was. It took some time for me to get used to it.

I remember that one time, when I was feeling weight of the world on my shoulders crushing me. I had to see you. I was hoping you’d at least be doing better than me. So I went to the bar that I knew you’d be, didn’t really care that he’d also be there. At least I’d see your smile and it would make me feel better, the way it always does. But all I got from there was a lot of confusion. I mean you were the one that left, the least you could do is be happy. But no, you had to be sad. I swear, I wasn’t planning to stay through that whole hell, but I couldn’t leave. I sat right in front of you and that tin-man, killing myself slowly. I turned back couple of time to look at you, but he was always in the way, kissing and hugging you, the way I was supposed to. So I stopped looking back all together and got the beers ready to swallow me. Each time I got remotely close to feeling bad, I’d chug it down hoping it would help. But it didn’t get better, not even slightest. The more I drank, the sadder I got. There was nothing there to fill myself with. Every time I walked to get the beer, I’d throw glance to see how you were doing, just to piss myself even more. What the fuck princess? If you won’t tell me why you left, at least tell me why are you not smiling? I don’t understand, if you won’t smile I will…I’ll laugh, I’ll laugh loud, I’ll laugh like crazy so at least you don’t get to see how fucking sad I am.

With all the magical power, we seem to have lost the basic ones princess. We don’t talk the way we think. Oh, our careless lives. I miss them so much. It could have just gone the way it should have. Me telling you - you can’t imagine how much I love you. You’d be ready to hear it and maybe, just maybe even properly say something back to me. Then I’d have the biggest and dumbest smile on my face stuck and you’d hide yours to keep it cool. Why couldn’t it be like that? How many times do we do things the wrong way princess? When should we start making it right? Can’t we just agree that we fucked up on a planetary scale and leave the rest behind? Why don’t you tell me what makes you mad, sad so that your knight in the rusty armor will try to work it out? Or do I have to see you feel bad without a way to help you? Is that the punishment you’re giving me? Because, I didn’t deserve that, I didn’t deserve that at all… It doesn’t fit the crime princess.

If you could just say it out front. If you could just tell me what you’re thinking. At this point I’ll even take a puzzle. So tell me. Am I the one making you sad? Do you want me gone out of your life? I’ll grab that old bag of mine, I’ll go on other side of the universe till my feet bleed so you don’t have to see or think of me again. Or maybe I’m born that lucky and you want me around? Because, I… I really want to be around you … even though you hurt the shit out of me, even though it bleeds my heart dry, I want you stinging all the more for it. And I can’t think of a single reason that would ever make me change how I feel about you. And that says a lot more with how creepy my imagination has been lately.

Creepy enough for me to think I’m going to chop off my own leg. I mean I know it’s a statis, but it’s still a leg of mine. I sit on the ground and put the right leg in front. I wonder for a second if you wake up to stop me. But I don’t have time to think about this. I raise the axe, which the “worldmaker” created, over my head. I don’t know princess, isn’t this what you want? To get away? You are probably angry with me now. I’ve somehow landed myself in bigger shit-storm than before. You must really hate my guts. Once again I’m the asshole with good intentions. The label that glued itself on me I can’t seem to rip it off. At least I’ll try to cut it off. I swing the axe with all strength down on my ankle, right above the thread. The axe hits the leg, but I don’t feel anything, because nothing happened. The ankle is still there, so is the label. I look at you, your face all bruised up from the earlier flight is healing. And suddenly, your calm sleeping expression changed to pain… I have a horrible scare in my heart, “did I…” I raise cloth of trouser around your ankle and lower the sock. I’m looking at it right now, as the bruise starts appearing right above the light thread. You start to moan in pain as my eyes get all blurry. I did it princess… I’ve found myself a breaking point. I’m making it rain and your socks are getting wet because of it. “Somebody, please… right now…” I lower my head and put it on your ankle. I don’t know exactly, but I think this is called weeping.

- I’m sorry princess, I fucked up again… I’m so fucking sorry… - I kiss the injury on your ankle. - I’ll fix it. Don’t worry, I’ll… I’ll fix it… for sure… - The blood started gushing down from the wound, I wrap my palms around, the cut is deep. I beg anybody who listens for you to not wake up, so I don’t have to hear you cry and scream. I call out to the “worldmaker” to help me. I won’t let go of you, until the wound is healed. After an hour my feet fold in on themselves and I sit on my knees. I put my head near your feet.

How did I not see this? What a fucking knight you got dealt with, right? I look at you, your face is struggling to express the ache. You must be having a nightmare now. I wanted to help you, but only thing I’ve successfully repeated so far is to make you hurt. Now that I think about it, you stuck around for too long princess. You should have never called on me second time. Now that the jokes are told, we see that, all that is left around, is a sad jester with a rope long enough to hang himself. God I fucked up, so much. I have to somehow get through it, I have to exercise that asshole douche out of this place.

I’m so hell-bent on saving you, I don’t even see that I’m hurting you. I’m sorry princess, but it looks like you’re stuck with this roach of a creature. I can’t leave you, I don’t want to, not for the death of me. You’ll have to bear with me, just a little longer. I can see it now…I let go of the wound, it’s almost healed. My hands are all bloody, I grab the key from my pocket and call the “worldmaker” to bring the entrance here. As it does, I open it with the key. I can see Margot’s place on another side. I walk back to you. Your face looks better, but I can still see mark of the wound on your ankle. I pick you up in my hands.

- There we go princess, it’s all right now. It’s going to be all right now. - As I’m about to cross the entrance I stop, realizing, that I can’t go over there and I don't think I can lock the door with the thread. - What do I do? What do I do, princess? You know I fucking suck at it, but I’m still trying to do the right thing for you, for us. I don’t even have a clue, what the right thing is anymore. I just really don’t want to leave you again and I’m in desperate need of our everyday counseling. I know if we talk about it, we’ll figure the right thing together, princess. Please, I can’t know these things without you… Please wake up.

[iam-constant]

Better Ends

#10

What is the ultimate goal that you have set for yourself? What makes you to get up every morning? It’s getting obvious that the rest of the world is as clueless to the purposes of life as we are. So why are you still listening to them? I’ve been tired of them looking at us, like any of them have an idea what we are. I know they should have never got to you. I planted a doubt in your mind and I then let the world fight you. That was my mistake; I’ve been seeing a lot of those lately. But you used to see through me so easily, I thought you’d see through all of it and just never stop doing that. I guess I was wrong, you got bored or you got tired, in both ways you gave up on me, like the rest of them. I just got too heavy to hold. You probably told them every bad thing you could remember about me and then you listened to them say all the things you didn’t want to hear. Were you expecting any argument from them that would make me look good? Because none of them had to say good things, no they all they had to do was beat me down. After all, they had to get you away from me; I am the strangers who hurt you. But you knew me, so you probably tried to protect me, right? Did you have anything good to say about me? Perhaps you didn’t say it out loud, but tried to save the image of me in your heart, in secret from all of them? Because, that’s what I’ve been doing for past 7 years. When anyone said something bad, like it was just a payback from you, that you just fooled around me or that you never even gave a fuck or that I should just forget you. I protected you each and every time. I told them all, you weren’t that kind of a girl. No, not my princess, she’d never deliberately hurt me, no. She’d get scared, she’d get mad but she’d never wake up with a thought of hating me, of forgetting me. She would never raise an iron bar over my head to hit me with. No, she wouldn’t … She would never make the same mistakes that I did… she wouldn’t…

Do you remember that dream I had about death, the one where it pronounced me dead? The next day I felt strength that I’ve never felt. I guess it’s right, what they say. You only get to fully experience life, because death exists; you love even though it hurts just right and you joy because there is sadness. But I think if you are missing one, other is automatically cancelled out. So it’s obvious why I’m so hell bent on living, and why I’ve been in so much pain lately. Have you been hurting as well princess? Are you also interested in why, like I am?

Well, the truth is I don’t know. I don’t know why it has to be you, or why it has to be me. (I guess it doesn’t, or so you've been repeating over and over.) I don’t know why it can’t be anybody else. I just know, OK? You don’t really get time to ask when you are falling, do you? For all I know, it could be your unbelievably adorable face, or that funny smile you make every time I joke. It could be the softness of your skin that melts my hands or it could be that quick kiss before you left me. It could be your aftertaste, or it could be how comfortable I feel with you. It could be those cute socks you wear or it could your taste of clothes. It could just be those scars of yours, that I wish I could heal with a kiss, or the eyes I never want looking away from me. It could be the feeling that we understand each other, or how right you fit inside my arms. It could be the overpowering smell of yours, or the voice I keep hearing in my head over and over. It could be the image you drew inside my head, or it could be the strength I see in you that I lack. It could be thousand more reasons I got, or it could be the ones I don’t. I am curious too princess and every time we’d meet, I thought I’d figure out the “why”, but I always forgot. I’d just get lost in the moment. I forgot to ask you princess, why me? (Why not?)

At least now I know the mistake that you and the rest of them bunch have made. It’s putting points in the wrong graph, when the answer was the easiest one around. You probably all called me stupid, but you underestimated the level of how fucking dumb I actually am. I mean, have you seen a seagull with confused eyes looking around the beach, and though how clueless it is to the baked fish? Yeah, that’s how clueless I was to you and the surroundings. While we’re around the subject of me being baffled, I should say that I’m absolutely lost on what is going on.

There is three me in here already and I can even hear your thought that one of me is enough. It’s going to get real tricky to talk, so I should probably name them something other than me. The one on the ground – I’ll call him the slouch, he seems lazy enough. The arrogant prick in front of me seems like a bit of a douche. Let’s call him douche. Well it’s obvious, I’m still me. So yeah, let’s do this. Let’s try to figure out, what kind of mess I got my head into.

- Oh right, there is another me. – I looked at you, you look scared.

- I’m not another you, we look similar that’s all.

- OK, what’s makes you so different from me?

- Well, for instance I’m not a dumb fuck… - Oh great, he’s an asshole too. - …that doesn’t understand when he’s being used and fucked around like a chew toy.

- What the fuck are you talking about? – He came one step closer.

- I’m talking about your beloved princess. – He said mockingly. I look at you.

- Any idea, what he’s talking about princess? – He smirked. No answer from you.

- Oh she knows it, she knows it all.

- What do you want?

- What I want? – He pointed at you. - What I want is for that wh… - I know what he’s going to say, my body moves instantaneously. I hit him in his nose, he falls back on the ground and I feel anger and pain resonating. I felt it as I touched, it almost sucked me in, I could feel all the memories that are dying to get back together. – Aaah… motherfucker. That hurt…

- Princess, I think this will get too complicated. – Douche stands up. – Get behind.

- Well, you’re dumb as usual. – He cleaned the blood from his nose. – But you should be more careful, you might damage the dumbass too. – He pointed at the Slouch, his nose was bleeding too. It seems like, when I hit the douche the slouch gets hurt too. That will complicate my plans to get back inside the body. - The rules in “worldmaker” are different from outside world. Who would have thought?

- What do you mean?

- Well, I killed you outside, to be precise I killed myself and nothing happened to me or the body here.

- The fuck? Why did you do that? You were the one that shot me?

- You don’t remember what happened, do you?

- Why would I be asking you, if I did?

- How convenient for you to forget everything you don’t like. That sleeping dumbass, he ripped his soul apart from the body, because he wanted to forget some of the pain that the high princess of yours caused. Most of it, he put in a new body, but not before ripping away the anger and hate… – Could he’s be talking about the part that that I bit off the heart? – …and blessed me with life. How nice of him to ignore it all again.

- Wait, what’s your problem with me? If all you say is true, I didn’t ask for any of this to happen. Why did you even kill me?

- Well, one of the reason would be you annoy the hell out of me. You have no anger, no backbone, you are a fucking degradation, a worm I feel like stepping on. – OK, at least it’s clear, douche is mental. He looked at you. – Another and main reason is that I thought I’d get back inside the original if you were dead and get back everything missing my way. It didn’t work. I was pushed out again and again. You somehow survived, but now I know how to get rid of you.

- Your talk is scary and all, I give you that. But I am statis and we’re in “worldmaker”. You should know, there is no death here.

- Oh, you poor soul. I’ve had 2 month to live in here and I already know more than you do. Why do I have to kill you, when I can erase you? – He grabbed a dagger out of his jacket. – You can create anything here. Like a dagger that erases existence. – He laughed. I have the worst evil laugh, I’ve ever seen in my life. - It’s so much clear now. This has been a race all along. That dumbass wants to know, which one of us has it right. The one that stays gets the body.

- I don’t think that’s how it works douche. I don’t think it’s a fight. – I don’t remember the truth, but I’m sure I couldn’t just create a real body in “worldmaker”.

- Of course it’s a fight.

- Look, I understand your fists are itching…

- Oh, oh… that brings back some good memories. - He looked at you. – How is your boyfriend? – I look at you confused.

- What is he talking about? – You are shaking and “worldmaker” creates the squirrel mask on your face. Come on not again. – Princess? Get it together, what is he talking about? – No answer from you again, you just stand there.

- I didn’t want to divulge my existence just yet to you, so I went around her to get the key. I thought she would just give it. I mean, she wasn’t using it after all. But when I got there, I had a bit of run in with the guy and I taught him couple of my best moves.

- What? You did what? – No…

- Remember how she said we could totally kick his ass? Well I did and you’re welcome.

- What the fuck are you talking about?

- I think he should be kind of dead, right princess? – I just hear you scream and then boulders flying towards the douche. Fuck, what did I do? The ground is shaking and I fall on the ground. I look at you, you are standing… no, hovering over the ground. I stand up and run to you. – Princess… I’m… is this true? Did he really…

- Of course you did… – The sound of douche coming from the top. He’s over us flying. How is he? I never get the hang of flying. He’s holding dagger in his hand. - …and you felt really great while doing it. – More boulders fly from ground towards douche, he dodged them all. You started to go higher.

- Wait princess… - You are not listening at all. The thread on my leg pulls as you drag me up in the air. There is a great joke about hanging out right now, but I guess it’s not the time. Do you not even feel the pain in your leg?

- Oh my god, this is so priceless… - I hear the laughter of the douche. – You are still a toy to be played and destroyed.

- SHUT THE FUCK UP. – I scream at him, I need to do something faster.

- Don’t worry, I’ll help you. She’s not the only one with the magic tricks. – The wind started to gain strength and suddenly there are huge tornados all around, the sky got darker. – Now, one for the show…

- PRINCESS, WATCH OUT! – The tornado rips a tree out of the ground and it’s flying towards us. You fly higher to dodge. It almost hit me, but the thread got caught up and it dragged both of us down. I close my eyes as it throws me around. I’m statis, nothing will happen to me, but I’m worried about you. The tree hits the ground, it makes horrible noises of destruction.

When I open my eyes I’m stuck in branches. I get up and touch the thread on my leg. It’s going down I fall on my knees and break away the debris. I find you and get you out. You’re unconscious, but you are alive. Thank god it’s really hard to die in here. For now we have to hide. He’s been planning the fight for too long. We never had the need to know these things. I get you on my back, I think we should go to the night cave. I walk a second or two before I get to it. Thank god for fast travel too.

The cave was your creation. It’s a place we could sleep around if we felt like it. The ceiling has lighting stones that make it look like the sky filled with stars. It should be a good place to hide, I can change the location. I enter the cave and close the entrance with a boulder. Then I call the “worldmaker” and it shifts the cave from here to far away. It will not take too long until douche finds us. But it will give us some time.

God damn it, I keep doing these stupid stuff. I put you down on the softrock bed and remove your mask. What should I do? I don’t know what I should do… But I know, I can’t keep you tied in like this. I have to somehow cut the thread. Margot said that we can’t cut it. I guess there is no other choice. I look at my leg. I’m thinking about it. It’s not like it’s going to hurt, I hope. I sit down, next to the bad. The “worldmaker” creates something similar to an axe. I pick it up, I’m breathing fast. I don’t even need the air, it’s just a reflex. This is it I guess, I can’t live myself tied to you forever. Not when it’s hurting you this much. I’ll just have to chop off my leg.

[iam-constant]

[iam-constant]

Let me tell you a story about you and me…

Cr.: Chiara Bautista

[iam-constant]

By Chiara Bautista.

[iam-constant]

Better Ends

#9

You know that, I’m not really a religious person. I won’t say I don’t believe in something more than just drinking and sleeping, however I don’t believe in the all powerful imaginary friends people have been telling me about. But the concept of someone watching me has been repeated so often in my childhood, that I still have this vague notion in my mind, that I’m in a TV show. While I admit the story is not half bad as it sounds, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m about to be permanently killed off to boost the ratings.

It’s not like I have anything to complain about though. I’ve seen fates of unfortunate souls, which had worse life than me. Now that I’ve successfully died couple times, I can surely say it’s not that scary. Still, I’ve had a lot more fun playing at living. I’ve had the most fun, when I played it with you. Crying havoc with emotions and devotions, and after we’d heal with some hard potions. You also had some fun right? Or was it all to impress the depressed? I can’t even know the simple things like this. I mean, I remember you liked the games in general. But did you actually enjoy playing them with me? If so, care for another round? This time, we could play something old fashioned.

Are you any good with chess? There is this situation in it, called stalemate. It’s when the player has no more valid moves left. When this occurs, the game ends as a draw. Now that I’ve lived through similar kind of experience, I consider this situation as a losing for both sides. So I freely declare myself as a loser in front of you, but do you even care? I can’t see, It’s that damned mask of yours always letting you hide. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the hang of the feelings you swing around with, but damn you look beautiful on that chair in the air. There is no rope holding you; No, all the ropes are around me. One on my right leg is pulling now, I think someone’s trying to get away.

I hear screaming and swearing. I open my eyes to the familiar ceiling. I’m getting fixed in Margot’s basement again. Something is tugging my right foot.

- What did she do? What is this, what did that bitch do to me? – Well that’s a sight of a person I’d ever think to see in the morning. You were lying on the floor. I sit up and I felt like something was bound on my leg. I looked at it.

- What is going on? – There was little thread coming out of my ankle and it was somehow connected to your ankle. – MARGO? Margo are you there? – I pulled the thread.

- Aaa… that hurts, I already tried pulling it. It won’t come off. It’s coming out from the inside of my ankle. What did that crazy bitch do?

- Don’t worry she probably had a reason for it. Why are you on the floor? Were you going to run off again?

- Of course I was. You thought I’d stay?

- I didn’t think you’d stay, but I hoped you’d at least say goodbye before rushing out.

- Get this thing off me, why did she even chain me up? I want to leave.

- Well you aren’t going to. – Margo came down the stairs. – You’ll have to stick around for a while. How are you feeling prince charming?

- I’m good. What’s with the ropes and threads? Care to explain?

- She’s a psycho. – Your anger strikes again.

- Psycho and a doctor that helped both of you and had next to no sleep, while pregnant. So cool off your hot head or you’ll see I’m not as anger less like him. – I got up from the bad.

- Ouch. Calm down both of you. Marg, why are we tied up? Can you explain?

- It’s for your statis. Remember that part girl? You let him nether? I had to keep your statis here and since god knows why she has the best soul call, I linked it to her. That thread is statis connection, it’s like a cheat. We’re lying your statis as if you have a body.

- How long is this thread going to last?

- When you get a body back.

- Marg, I don’t know how long that will take.

- It will take long enough don’t worry.

- I have to go… - You pulled the thread again, I walked to you wanted to help you get up. – Don’t touch me…

- Calm down, I’m just trying to help.

- I don’t need your help.

- What the hell is wrong with you? I don’t understand.

- I need to go and your friend just tied me to your leg. Why do you think I’m angry?

- Hell if I know… Marg can you get that thing off?

- I can, but I won’t as I said. I’ll do it, when you find a body that you lost because of her. But not a second before and lady you can stop trying to rip it off. You can’t cut it, it’s not a matter, it’s statis. – You looked at her annoyed. – Now I’m going out I have a job to do. I can’t do anything more for you so do the rest on your own.

- Don’t worry I’ll work it out.

- You told me not to worry yesterday and then you died, again.

- I’ll luck it out this time for sure. I think I know what I’m doing.

- I hope you’re right this time.

- You are going to leave me tied? I said I need to go. – OK, what the hell did you dream about?

- Too bad, you left him to nether. I don’t forgive as easily as he does and I get the feeling you were the reason he died second time too. – You looked down. – So, you will stay by his side until you fix him.

- I could probably manage on my own. – Am I really that weak?

- Stop talking, OK? I don’t like this either, but you need her. You said you wanted to talk and I need to hurry out. So work out something, I have to run now. Oh and, if you’re going to leave the house, leave the extra key with Mike.

- OK Marg, I’m sorry I made you worry again.

- I know you are. Just try to have a decent body next time I see you. OK?

- OK. – I smiled. She walked upstairs, I heard the sound of the door.

- You probably love this now. – Still cranky, curled up on the floor.

- Well, if I’m being honest yes. Just a tad bit. But that’s because I missed you. Look, let’s try to figure out how to get myself a body and you’re in the wind again.

- How are we sup… supposed to do that? – Oh, you voice cracked. – Don’t you remember? – You started crying. - I smashed your head in with a crowbar. - You’re remembering it, you managed to go through it just because you were crystallized, but now when you remember it. It’s probably really hard.

- Hey, hey it’s OK. – I sit next to you.

- I can’t believe I actually did it. I keep seeing your face and blood and brains. It’s too much… I can’t take it anymore…

- Don’t worry about it, I wasn’t even alive at that time. I didn’t feel any pain at all…

- No? – I wipe your tears.

- No I swear, soul and body was bound with some kind of a wristwatch Marg gave. She said I was animated. And one of your amazing swings hit it and I was statis after that.

- Still, I killed you...

- You just have extra memories princess. Let me take them away. – The scar near your temple, I pull from it like I have your memories inside my fingers. I threw them in the air. – See? Poof, they’re gone and forgotten.

- You’re so stupid. – You laughed.

- See, now that laugh is another story. Are you feeling better?

- Yes, I’m better. – You wipe your face.

- Good, because I have to tell you something.

- OK.

- I found a body inside the “worldmaker”.

- What? A body? Whose body is it?

- See, that’s the weird part. It’s mine.

- You have another body?

- I’m not sure. Something really weird is going on right now. I think something is wrong with “worldmaker”.

- What do you mean?

- Well, you know the rules. World inside the “worldmaker” can’t effect the one outside.

- Yes, the ground rule.

- Ye but, I somehow ended up with another body after I left “worldmaker” and I’m missing a bit of memory.

- Wait, are you saying you created a new body or something?

- I don’t have a clue. When I was trying to get inside the body, I got some memories back. In the memory I was in “worldmaker”, but it was all weird. It was dark and raining and everything else was frozen in time. Have you ever seen anything similar?

- Actually yes, once. - You look at me confused. - I think something similar happened, when the second key was created. I was inside and I was feeling really bad, it was after the first breakup. - Ah, the start of all my misdeeds. - That’s when it got really dark and started raining. I got scared and ran outside as fast as I could. When I got out I had two keys in my pocket.

- Wait, you said that the old lady gave you both keys.

- Well, I lied about that part. But I didn’t think much about “worldmaker” giving out second key.

- So, it somehow creates things and changes rules. Oh by the way, the Mirror of many reflection is broken.

- What? Why? I loved that mirror.

- I broke through it, from “worldmaker” to the alley I found you. I think “worldmaker” altered the mirror to let me get to you.

- Do you think it can create a real body?

- I don’t know. But I think we should go in and figure it out.

- OK. Let’s do that.

- Are you ready, princess?

- Far from it prince. – I smiled.

- OK, let’s go. – I took out the keys from the jacket pocket and walked up to the doors in the basement. I fit the key and turned it twice. – Here we go. - We walked in together. – Smell of Mexican potatoes.

- Oh, I’m so hungry. – You put your hand on your stomach.

- Care for some potatoes?

- Let’s get to your body first.

- OK, as you wish. – We walked for couple of seconds and got to the river tea banks. Right beside the tree, sleeping prince is resting.

- What is this? Why did you do that? – You touched my face, the one on the ground. – It’s sleeping.

- Yeah, I know.

- Don’t you think literally ripping your heart out is a bit over the top?  And why is your mouth so bloody? Did you bite your heart?

- Well, I don’t remember. But I was feeling really bad at the time.

- Wha...what’s your plan now? How are you supposed to get inside there?

- My plan is to just ask nicely. If I know anything about myself, I can’t refuse waking up when you’re right here. – I kick my boots.

- How cute. What are you waiting for?

- I just wish I had done something. - I’m having doubts.

- What do you mean? With the body?

- No, I mean shown you how I actually felt. Look at me, sleeping with my heart out. I always had the feeling if I had told you everything that was going on with me, you’d stay. But I did nothing at all.

- What are you talking about?

- Well I just got depressed and let you off. Didn’t give much of a fighting chance to us, to properly figure things out. It burned me a lot, especially on the nights, they were the hardest.

- Is that why you were drinking a lot to forget?

- See, this is why I wanted to talk. You misunderstood so many things. I wasn’t drinking to forget, I was drinking to remember. – I put my heart back into the chest cage. – Why the fuck would I ever want to forget you?

- I don’t know, maybe because I made you angry?

- Being angry is waste of time for me, and I was mainly angry at myself. I mean I didn’t even tell you how I felt.

- OK, you keep repeating yourself, but that’s not true.

- What?

- You told me you loved me.

- Wait, what? No, I didn’t. - My head started to hurt. - I was just too scared to do the right thing... - Something is wrong, I’m remembering. - ...and never had the courage to tell you. – I remembered the talk I had with Ms. Bulkin yesterday.

- But you did, you liquored up and told me you loved me. I didn’t believe you, because you were drunk, but I guess you forgot anyway.

- No, no way. I got drunk a lot, but I wouldn’t forget something like this. – Shit, something is wrong, I could feel it. You noticed my worried face.

- What’s wrong?

- I think I still have gap in my memories. Not all have come back with the body.

- Well, maybe it’s the side effect.

- That’s not the only thing. I talked to Mrs. Bulkin the day I died and it doesn’t add up. I remember, she told me that I mixed up the floors before you got there, before I died and I was really angry.

- So? It was really weird to see a floor gone, but we’ve seen weirder things.

- Ye but, I’m the one that asked Nether to take the floor. How did I forget? And why was I angry?

- Maybe you were just stressed or drunk... - You’re getting scared.

- Maybe, but I also have the feeling I’m still missing a part. – That’s when I feel the wind changes. – Princess, the winds have changed the direction.

- So what?

- The wind always blows from the entrances, when the it changes directions, it means there is a new entrance opened. I think we have a visitor. – You looked at me terrified.

- Princess, I have my key right here, who has your key? Who did you give it to?

- I… I don’t know. – I hear the leaves and grass sounds. Someone is here.

- You know, you know everything… - I hear familiar voice from the woods. - You’ve known everything, but you were scared too, that’s the part you’re missing. – It’s a he, but why do I recognize his voice. – It’s that or you didn’t give a fuck about me at all.

- Step outside, who are you?  - I call out.

- You don’t recognize me? – He comes out from the tree, I stand in front of you. I’m also standing in front of me.

- Don’t you know me? – I look at him in the light, I can’t believe this. It’s another me, what the hell. This is clone wards all over again. – I’m you. If you don’t understand, it’s all right. It was kind of hard to figure out. This dumbass over here, fucked it up again. - He kicked the sleeping me. I guess I’ll be having one of those classic me, myself and I awkward conversation now.

[iam-constant]

when you watching anime high af and the paranoia sets in

[iam-constant]

Better Ends

#8

Here I go down the rabbit hole again.

You know this “no speaking” thing we’ve been doing, really isn’t working out for me. I’m kind of mad at myself, for how it slipped right through me. I never even notice how hard it was getting for us to just talk. You paying too much attention to what I said, on the other hand I paid not enough. I mean it was right there. But that’s what happens when you live a fools lifestyle, you actually become one. The role takes over.

- Are you alive back there? – I moved my back as if I was fixing the way I was holding you.

- Yeah…

- Are we back to no talking again?

- I don’t know. You’re just as silent as I am.

- Well, every time I say something, you make me feel like I’m destroying the world.

- That’s true, you are.

- Ouch, how cruel.

- But that never stopped you before. You should joke about how world made you feel bad and it is revenge plot or something like that. Just shrug it off like always…

- I still do that on the good days. But now I get off days too. That’s when I think I’m getting at the end of my funny bag.

- Well, that’s because you’ve been out of practice for too long. It’s your fault… you let your bag get filled with sadness and self pity. – I can feel how you grip tightens. -  All you had to do was just move on and let go.

- Are you sure you’re talking to me? I mean move on? Let go? What kind of healthy life style is that? Where is my beloved self-destruction?

- Then don’t blame me…

- I don’t… I don’t care about the blame game at all. It’s just that when I’d see you doubt and leave some breadcrumbs behind, I’d always follow them. But then the trail would disappear midway, like you changed your mind. And, when I tried talking to you, you’d make me out like I was crazy for seeing them.

- What are you talking about? I never…

- That’s how it seemed to me anyway. That’s how it seemed, every time I asked to meet you and you said no.

- I was with someone else…

- I know, I know. I just never quite moved on as you did. I was never the moving type if you remember. Even now… I never stopped seeing stuff and it makes everything worse or rather better. Like, I walk the streets and on every corner, on every turn, I expect to see your smiling face or I hear your voice. But when I turn around you’re not there and it just breaks my heart all over again.

- How is that any good any at all? It seems depressing.

- Well, I’m not scared to be depressed. I welcome it with open hands and open heart. Shit, after some time I even became addicted to it, it’s like I need another hit. I’m the love junkie I guess. - Heh… yes, that’s right I said it.

- This is so wrong, on so many levels.

- Really? For me it makes perfect sense and the rest of the world can suck it for all I care.

- You’re still living in the past, you should…

- We’re here. - I stopped in front of the house.

- Yes, we’re here and you should think about now.

- No, I mean we’re here. This is the house of my friend. – I knocked on the door. – Listen, no matter what happens, don’t tell her what you did. OK?

- Don’t worry I won’t. - I hope this goes better then I imagine. - Who is she? One of your lovers?

- OK, you can say you killed me, just don’t say that. Or we’re both done for.

I heard footsteps of Margot as she approached the door. It opened with a screech. At first she didn’t see me as statis.

- Hey Marg, sorry to wake you so late. I need a bit of help from you.

- It’s you again? What happened…. OH MY GOD…. YOU ARE STATIS AGAIN. WHAT HAPPENED? WHY ARE YOU DEAD AGAIN?

- Marg, calm down. I’m fine, I think I have the way out…

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU ARE STATIS AGAIN, I ASKED YOU ONE THING AND YOU DIED AGAIN.

- Marg, look. There is no way of helping me, but you can help her. – She just looked at you and calmed down just a bit.

- Is that her?

- Yes…

- Yes, it’s me… - You didn’t like when you were talked about I guess. – I’m sorry to put you in this kind of situation. I’ll understand if you don’t want to help us.

- Oh, so it’s us now? – Marg looked at me. – It took two of your death, for you to become us. Did you die because of her again?

- No Marg. She had nothing to do with this. I think it’s the gang, I just found her in the alley. It’s a long story. Can we come in?

- Yes, come in, come in. We should go downstairs. –  We entered the house and went down to the basement. – Lay her down there. – She pointed at the bed I woke up earlier. I slowly laid you down on the bed. – What’s wrong with her?

- I think she had too much crystallizer. She was out as I said and her eyes were purple.

- Crystal, huh… Anything to do with meeting you? – I shrugged.

- OK missy, tell me how are you feeling? – She looked at you, seems angry.

- I’m feeling weak, I can barely move. – Margot put her hand on your head.

- It’s your soul. It’s exhausted, you pretty much made it hold breath for too long. It’s symptoms of crystal abuse. You also have slight fever, I’ll give you some potions, that will re-energize you. You should get some rest for a while, sleep it off here. You’ll be fine.

- Thank you, I don’t think I can do anything other than that.

- I’m not doing this because of you so don’t thank me and you can just try not to take the drug next time, but that’s none of my business. You kids work through it. Potions are upstairs, I’ll bring them down.

- Thank you Margot… - I should really make sure to pay her somehow.

- Oh don’t thank me yet mister. I’ve got half a mind kicking you with a shovel. - I’ve had enough of that. - What happened? How’d he die? – She looked at you, but you looked away.

- She wasn’t there, I told you, it’s probably the gang. They saw me and finished the job they started.

- All right, if you’re not going to say… - She went upstairs.

- Well, I guess that should work. – I looked at you, you had tears on your face. – What’s wrong? Why are you crying?

- You are so stupid, all the fucking time…

- I think we agreed on that a long time ago. That’s nothing to cry about.

- You’re so… - You turned your head. – Can you wipe my tears? I can’t move my hands.

- Sure thing princess. – I wiped your tears. – Don’t worry, Marg is the best. She is the one that brought me back into my body today. I was sleeping in this precise bad actually.

- Yeah, after I let nether take you… I remember.

- Yeah, still not cool. – I laughed. – I guess, you got tired of kissing me.

- Shut up. You being this dumb, makes me want to punch you.

- Well you being this close makes me want to kiss you. – I look at you.

- Don’t you even think about it, I’ll bite your lips off.

- I think I’ll call it worth. Well actually, if you bite my lips off I would call it wof… but you’d get it.

- This… this is the reason why you should die again. – I heard the footsteps.

- Marg, do you need help?

- No, it’s OK. - Margot came down with potions and walked up to you. – Drink this, it will help. – You drank the potion. – It’ll make you sleep now, I’ll bring some blankets. – You looked at me.

- I’ll be here don’t worry.

- No… what about soul call? – You asked almost whispering.

- Oh, now she cares. – Margot on the strike team. – Why did you not care, when you left him on the brink? What’s your problem anyway? He’s been…

- Marg, Marg… She needs some rest now. - I stand in front of her.

- And there is your knight again. You both fucking deserve each other. – Your head is turned away, are you crying again?

- Marg, I think you had something for statis?

- Yes, Marg has to fix now, that’s all you ever do. Come broken here…

- I mean it’s an illegal clinic so…

- Don’t be a smartass… You know what I mean. - She looked at me really pissed doing the whole stare down thing. I always win, it’s really hard for her to stay mad with me. - Yes I have something for statis, you big doofus. - I win. - Lie on the next bed, I’ll measure the statis strength first. – I laid myself next to your bed  while she picked something out from the drawer. Seemed like a huge needle.

- Wait you’re not going to stick that thing in me right? – It was really big.

- The one I stuck you with today was way worse trust me and you won’t feel physical pain anyway. – I lie down on the bed next to you.

- No pain, but it still scares the shit out of me. – I turn my head to see your eyes teary. I sit up and clean them again. – See even she’s scared of that huge ass needle. - You smile and it’s way better than what I’ve been imagining. I see your eyes are closing, it’s probably elixir working. You whisper something, I didn’t hear.

- What did you say? - I bring my head closer to your head.

- Don’t leave. – And then you kiss me on my head.

- Come on princess, if I could do that… - I’m dead, you killed me and let me die just today, but I’m still happy because you kissed me on head. How the fuck do you do that? Yeah, that’s probably 4 more years of lingering on to go… 4 more month to dream about you and a weak of awesome feelings. Seems nice. I lay back on the bed feeling just great, that’s until Marg hits me with that huge needle in my leg. – Aaahhh…. what the hell Marg. You have to warn me first.

- Stop being a wimp. You;re dead and it doesn’t hurt. – She took the needle back up and looked at it. – Huh, that’s weird... fully charged. You should be wiped after carrying her here.

- I feel fine thanks. – Smiling my face off. – What’s the plan? How do I keep statis? I need to wake up tomorrow. I have something important to talk to her about.

- Well if it’s so important… - She filled the needle with some potion. - … this will help. – She injected it in me.

- What’s is that? I can have potions in statis too?

- It consists of static shuffles. It will put you in sleeplike state.

- Wait how is that going to help?

- It won’t help you. – I feel dizzy all of a sudden. - It will help me, help you and you’ll probably be against what I have to do. - I feel sleep getting to me, that thing works really fast.

- W… wai… don’t harm… her… pl… please… - Man I never know what Margot will do. I really hope she won’t harm you. But she isn’t that kind of a person, and she knows if something happens to you I’ll never forgive her.

- Sleep already poor prince.

My head dropped down on a pillow. I look at you, your eyes closed, you’re smiling. I wonder what are you dreaming about? Is it perhaps a little dream about me? I guess, I can I sleep with a bit of hope. I want to look at you more, but I can’t hold my eyes open. I’m starting to drift away, I wonder if statis even get to have dreams. I see a familiar smile. JACKPOT!

[iam-constant]

[iam-constant]

someone give these kids a break or I’ll most likely die reading it.

[iam-constant]

#fujimi lovers

[iam-constant]

Better Ends

#7 (WIP)

It was around noon of the second day, when I felt something was really off. Just like you said, I had this dumb joke that I knew would make you laugh, you and that cute butt of yours, but of course I couldn’t (Pardon the pun). By the end of the day my mind was full of jokes and puns that nobody would understand. So I just sat home in my couch and imagined us walking down the street. I said all of the jokes to the imaginary you and fell asleep. I dreamed about you, wasn’t much of a dream. You were hugging me, telling me how you missed me, I was saying the same. Then some faceless creature entered the room. You run to him and I feel like I have to act cool, I can’t just show you how beat I am. Then I wake up in a sweat, freezing and shaking like a leaf. I have a fever and my stomach is all messed up. I actually got physically ill from you leaving me. Look how weak I’ve made myself.

It was the worst week of my entire life. Fever and my mind overtuned was as good of a combination as fire and gasoline. I was constantly feeling nauseous. Only bliss of the moment was when I took shower, after some time that stopped working too. First week almost tore me apart. It was fun to watch myself wallow in misery.

I remember thinking if you’d seen in how much pain I was, you’d take me back. But it was getting clear from day-to-day, you wouldn’t take me back, not anytime soon. Your mind was all made up and crystallized to cut me clean off. Realization of this was the second deadly kick into my almost broken spine. Did you even hear me crack or did you believe my smile?

From that point on, it was one day at a time. I just force myself to make the circle back to my bed. I’ve paid all the weird people to see me sad. They’d all say it’ll eventually get better. But it didn’t, not the way I wanted it to. Well, anyway. You’ve had enough for now with the misery image of mine.

Now, what kind of problem do we have here?

After the images of the past forgotten have flooded the mind of mine, I was kicked out of the body again. That’s second time my body refused me to live. This might look odd to the strangers, but I know I’ve made it work extra for too long. Standing over it, I can’t seem to feel anything but pity towards it and myself. While I was trying to get in control, it tore the heart out again. What a miserable bloke.

- Ollie, I don’t think that body wants me back. It’s all bent and I don’t think I fit anymore. – Owl flew on the tree that I was sleeping under.

- I don’t think it’s the body sir, but you clearly don’t feet. Like, you are missing a part.

- When I was trying to get the control, I came across a weird memory that I don’t think I had before.

- That concurs the idea sir. You truly are missing a part of yourself.

- I think so too Ollie, the body won’t receive me without it.

- May I ask what you remembered, sir?

- I remembered I was in too much pain outside, so I came inside “worldmaker”, but this place was weird too. It was dark and raining, felt like everything around was frozen.

- I don’t remember such a thing sir and it’s impossible for it to be dark or raining in “worldmaker”. Maybe you were in nightcave sir.

- No it wasn’t nightcave, it was entire place, something was different. I need to talk to her. She’ll probably know what’s going on. – Then I remember the problems. – But I’m still dead. Shucks! How should I get out? - I’m in nether now and the key binds to one door. I can’t open another one from inside.

- You can just call her sir.

- I don’t think that will work. I could barely get a hold of her, I don’t think she can hear from nether. Also I don’t think she has a key now… Hmm… – I could be stuck here for a while. Then I remember. - The Mirror of many reflections. Ollie is it still here? I remember she left it here. – We used it to contact outside world. You can change the reflection of mirror to any reflecting surface of the outside world, I just have to find one that reflects her.

- Yes sir, you are right, it’s still here.

- OK, I’ll bring it here. – I focus my mind and call “worldmaker” to bring the Mirror here. I heard the sound of earth shaking and mirror forced out from the ground. – Now, let’s look for the princess in the magical mirror. -  Last time I remember, you were behind my house. There is a window in front of the fire escape. I open up the mirror and look through it. I notice my body head smashed in. I’ve seen better days. Blood puddle. – Now, where did you go? – I notice the footprints, you stepped in the blood. I should follow it. As I do I notice mirror on the other side of the road and swap images. I see some drunks looking at me, and then looking behind; they are confused how I’m reflected, if I’m not there. I don’t have time to be discreet I swap mirrors, puddles, sunglasses and other stuff to follow you. I catch up and I see you in the allay unconscious, laying down. I’m scared now, I hit the mirror and try to call on you. No answer. I switch to the window of a foreclosed shop, I’m looking down on you.

- Princess? Can you hear me? – I hit the mirror harder. – Princess. – I scream.

- Sir, calm down. She can’t hear you. The only way you can contact her is to steam the mirror and write on it.

- I know goddamn it. – I’m really hitting the point of desperation where it doesn’t matter. I can’t just look at you. – Let me through. – I call out the “worldmaker” as I hit the mirror with my fist.

- Sir, it’s impossible, you can’t cross through the mirror. -  I’m not listening, who the fuck would? I grab a rock and start kicking and hitting the mirror. – Let me through. - I’m crying it over and over. I can feel myself break, I need to be there when you need me. There is no way I let you down again.

- Sir please calm yourself. The mirror can’t be broken. It’s made of a…. – Everything silences and darkens. I don’t pay much of attention to it. All that matters to me is you. I ready the stone in my hand and hit mirror with all I have. The mirror breaks down and I fall through. I smell the familiar scent of polluted air. I’m looking on my hands. The rock that I was holding has disappeared and I’m holding the key. I don’t have time to figure this now. I put it in my pocket. (In your face Ollie, you don’t know everything.) I run to you and grab you up. I remove the mask. I see your face emotionless, unconscious and so peaceful. I feel like, I’d kill anybody that would try to disturb your sleep. I open your eyes and see that they’re all violet. You’re crystallized… of course. How much did you take? I’m scared, but a bit happy. You couldn’t just kill me, you were just emotionless.

- Let’s go princess. – I lift you and carry you on my back. You’re almost weightless. (I could carry you for life and I wouldn’t notice a thing). – There we go, time for some piggy back ride. -  I think we should go to Margot. She’ll be really pissed at me, but she can help you.

We walk in the deserted streets of the midnight, nobody there to help. After about 20 minutes I feel that I’m about to receive a call from nether, I don’t get much time. I look around, its way past midnight. No one is around. I stop.

- Princess, I think I need you to help us a little. – I sit you down near the wall. I know it’s over the top lame to kiss a sleeping princess but I need the call now. Besides, I can always ask for forgiveness later, right? I take a knee in front of you. - We’ll probably laugh about this, someday. - Getting closer and closer to your sleeping face. I feel the scent of your hair pinching my lungs. I close my eyes and kiss you. I know it now. I could live a life only by kissing you and it would be a life well spent, but I shouldn’t get too greedy. Statis got stronger, this should be enough for us to get to Margot. As I’m about to let you go, I feel your hands around me so I wrap mine around you. It’s almost instinctive. I pull you closer.  Kissing you like my life depends on it, (It actually does.) like we’re only people alive. We’re back in time and it’s me and you against the world, but the world got nothing on us. If I could, I would end it all here, it would be the perfect end for me. But it’s not the end, just another pitch perfect moment of our life. The moment passes. I don’t want to, but I have to let go.

- Hahaha… you shy little squirrel. I thought you were out for good. – I look at you, you look away. You still have purplish eyes. Still under a bit of influence of crystals I guess.

- How did you get here? You should be dead.

- Well, you know me. I have to play a hero, when you play a damsel in distress. – You slap me really weak. You really have no energy left.

- Ouch? What’s that for?

- That’s for kissing me, when you know that I’m with somebody else.

- OK, first of all, I had to come back from the nether to help you, because you killed me. Not cool by the way princess. And second of all it was life, death situation. I didn’t even feel any pleasure.

- You shouldn’t fucking kiss a girl when she’s sleeping.

- Sleeping beauty will disagree. – I look at you for a second and then it’s time to go. – OK, princess we need to go. You’re not looking good and I mean it as in health issue. I totally still have hots for you.

- Oh my god, can you stop talking? I don’t need help, I can go on my own. – You tried to stand, but you didn’t quite make it. -  Why are you smiling like an idiot?

- It’s good to see your fighting spirit after all the time. I really missed it.

- Whatever.

- And there is a word I missed even more. – I turn around. -  Come on, I’ll help you out. I was taking you to a friend of mine.

- Is he a jackass like you?

- Well he is a she actually and she’ll be pissed about the fact that I died again today, so don’t tell her that you accidentally crowbarred my head a lot. – You don’t say anything, just grab onto me. – I stand up and start walking. I feel your heartbeat on my back. It’s getting faster and faster, you want to say something.

- Are you mad? – You ask finally.

- About what? You letting nether take me or killing me? – You don’t say anything. I just walk for a while. – I’m not mad princess. I’m just sad from time to time, when I see you not helping us when I think you can. That’s all. – A bit of silence of the road.

- I didn’t know. I thought you used crystal. I was hoping you could laugh it off, you told me you’d laugh it off. You told me you’d be fine, over and over.

- I know princess, but now that I’ve looked over the past, I think I was saying that to myself. If it’s any consolation, it didn’t help. – Another moment of silence on the road.

- Why didn’t you use crystals? Why did you get feelings now? – I can’t do it princess. I have to tell you, I’m about to make you sad again. What a scumbag.

- Well I was going to you know. It’s not like I couldn’t. I was about to write it down as another failed attempt of mine to charm you, but then, I thought about seeing you on the road crystallized. You’d have no sadness on your face no regret and I didn’t want to see that at all. At that moment I knew, you didn’t deserve a guy that would show no sadness on his face or feel good after you left him. You didn’t deserve a guy that would just laugh it off and be fine. That guy shouldn’t be cool and composed or crystallized. He should be broken irreparably and hurt, crying his heart out. Cursing the day he let you go. So it happened on its own princess. I got shot, stabbed, punched and kicked. Hah… It just took a few deaths of mine, no biggie… But I managed to do it. I felt really fucking bad, but I got that perpetual cynic smile off my face. But in doing so, I think I went a bit over my head. Because right now, I can’t think for the death of me, if anything else other than you will ever make me feel better. – I could feel the sadness in your silence. Those better not be tears on my back. No it’s probably the rain. Then I hear your faint voice.

- It’s not fair. It’s just so unfair. I was waiting and tried to be with you. Why are you saying all of this now? You’re making me feel bad and all wrong.

- I know princess, I know and I’m sorry. I just thought there for a second that nothing bad had happened between us. The last thing I actually want is to make you feel bad.

- You say that all the time… – Your voice cracked, crystals must have worn off. – But everything you do makes me feel bad…

- Princess, I’m…

- Don’t call me that, stop calling me that. I hate it when you call me that. – You hit me on my back with your weakened fists. I can hear your tears as they fall, but I’m probably imagining it like the rest of this. – I made you everything. You’ve never actually loved me at all.

- Be careful with what you say princess. – Man you really know how to tear a man’s heart.  – Maybe one day, I’ll actually start believing it.

[iam-constant]

#dramaticdeath #lastmanonearth