iambatoots

[iambatoots]

July 6, 2021

Sharing my random thoughts in my everyday life right now. Im in a situation that I dont feel anything. Hindi ko alam ano bang purpose ko in life. Im in a zero level of motivation keme. Pinipilit ko maging positive and strong in my everyday life but uuwi ako from work with a super lonely heart and mind.

[iambatoots]

Loving you is the best thing I've ever had.

8mons ago you've entered into my life. You give me butterflies everytime you gave me attention. Everytime you call me " myloves " and then 1 time tinimplahan mo pa akong kape. I remember also yung day na hiningi mo number ko and I really dont know bakit ko din binigay. Siguro kasi nung day na yun yung kwenentuhan mo agad ako about your father, nagtaka din ako kasi hindi pa naman tayo ganun ka-close para magkwento ka ng ganun. That's why nung hiningi mo yung phone number ko hindi na din ako nagdalawang isip, binigay ko din naman agad. Sabi mo pa " mcdo ilalagay ko " bakit mcdo pa kako dapat jollibee kasi syempre mataba ako pero ang banat mo nun " kasi love ko to " Grabe! Nadali mo ako sa banat mong yun. 😏

September 1st that's the first time you called me in my number and that's the first time na hinarana mo ako through phone. One of the kilig moments ever. Then it became a habit every morning you called me, kwentuhan and harana through phone kahit na busy ako sa work, I make takas para lang makausap ka. ( buti nalang hindi pa ganun kahigpit si LX sa phone before ) and then 1time inaaway kita sa phone hanggang sa nasira yung string ng gitara at ako ang ginawa mong rason sa pagkasira nun kaya kailangan kitang samahan bumili ng string na yun. I considered it as our 1st date and I know it's Oct 7, we went to Quiapo Church before buying that string thing to your guitar. And what's excite me more for that day is that you are buying some fruits for my papa because you are finally meeting my family for the first time. ❤ I witness how you respect my parents and how you care for them. You are truly a blessing. And then one of the happiest lunch ever yung makasabay kang kumain sa labas ( literal na labas kasi labas ng bahay 😁 ) chopsuey and pritong isda, nakakatuwa lang kasi ikaw kumakain nung ulo ng isda ko. Ang sarap sarap mong tingnan kumain, nakakagana din talaga. And you stayed until 6 to 7pm. Saraaaap! 💞

Every morning hinihintay mo akong dumating sa Arayat, sabay tayo magbebreakfast or having a small talk before akong pumasok at bago ka umuwi.

Every monday morning na papasok ako laging may letter sa DTR ko.

Sometimes you surprised me by giving me some chocolates and put it in my bag.

You keep saying im pretty kahit na hindi ko feel itsura ko.

Sinusuyo mo ako everytime na nagtatampo ako sayo.

Sinamahan mo ako 1time manood ng sine dahil gustong gusto kong panoorin yung movie na yun.

Sinama mo din ako 1time sa game mo para mapanood kita maglaro.

Everytime na uuwi akong late lagi kang nandyan para ihatid ako kaya nga kahit out of the way na yung lugar na pinuntahan ko basta cubao area, I still want to go home with you first bago ako umuwi sa totoong bahay ko.

Lagi mong kinakamusta yung parents ko or I should say my family.

And all of your clothes na pinapahiram mo sakin everytime I have trouble from what I wear that day kaya naipon na sa akin mga damit mo.

And then 1click everything change. I know you're in pain that's why I understand all of your actions. But sometimes im tired but I keep fighting for us, I keep saying I'll stay until you're healed. I know I dont have any rights to demand, to make any complain because I really want to do this to you because I REALLY LOVE YOU, SO MUCH! I know im going to lose this battle between me and her. But you know what I considered myself a winner because I know you love me also hindi nga lang same nang sa akin but I know you love me.

And for all the people na malapit sayo or I should say na mga taong minamahal mo is napaka-blessing talaga. I really want to meet mamang noon pa man kasi nga diba sabi ko I really want to thank her kasi may bunso syang napalaki na napaka-bait. I really want to meet also your siblings. And nagawa ko din naman pero hindi nila ako kilala kung ano ba talaga ako sa buhay mo. Ewan ko pero gusto ko mameet lahat ng mahal mo. And na meet ko din yung isa mo pang mahal. Napaka-blessed nya, sana lang kapag binitawan na kita ng tuluyan wag na wag ka nyang papabayaan, mamahalin ka pa rin nya sa mga oras na nagiging mahina ka.

You dont believe in Luck coz you always told me it's a BLESSING. And yes! You are a totally blessing in my life. You dont change me, I change myself not because you told me, I change because I want to.

You are my happiness. Im still looking forward having a future with you and to become a Mrs. Cuaresma and build our own house to live with our 5jozel's, our little business, a roadtrip with our bagets, a different kinds of adventure, bonding with your family and my family every Sunday. And to grow old with you and having an apo's.

ILOVEYOU TATAY ♥ I will continue loving you until my lifetime. Maybe this is not our time but I know if it's God's will it will surely a happy ending for us.

[iambatoots]

“I want to write, but more than that, I want to bring out all kinds of things that lie buried deep in my heart.”

— Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl (via goodreadss)

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“I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.”

— e.s. (via selectables)

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I’ve never wanted to runaway and not come back in my whole life until this very moment. I regret I went home, I should’ve let myself have fun, drink and get wasted.

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[iambatoots]

MORE QUOTES HERE | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

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That’s the best thing :c

Love - Gaspar Noé (2015)

[iambatoots]

I miss the old me. I was full of dreams and thoughts. I could talk a whole goddamn day of what I want to do with my life. I’ve got love and inspiration. Unlike now, I’m just an apathetic person that’s living every day of her life because she had to.

[iambatoots]

PLEASE READ IF YOU’RE STRUGGLING.

I’d like to start off by telling you that you’re not alone. And I know, that’s the oldest line in the book, but I mean it, I really do. Because so many people are going through very similar experiences like yours right now and I know that this is hard, I know that you’re in a dark place, and I know that you’re struggling more than you can even put into words. But please believe me when I say there are lot’s of people who understand your pain. Maybe it’s not the people who you wish would understand, but I can promise you, there are people who get it. You can get through this. You are strong and this is just an obstacle that you will overcome. I have so much faith in you, and you are strong enough to make it through these tough times. 

[iambatoots]

Sometimes, you need a beer and a couple of cigarettes to regain and calm yourself from all the bullshits and fuck ups that life is throwing at you. You somehow needed to feel the heat of the alcohol rushing through your body and to taste the rusty flavor of your favorite liquor. To feel the nicotine in your system and to watch the smoke swirl with the wind. To forget all the toxic people that’s been ruining you and repeatedly let you feel that you’re not good enough. To pause everything that you’re doing that doesn’t make any sense anymore and to just give yourself a little time to be unoccupied and free. Sometimes, you need a beer and a couple of cigarettes to realize that you really don’t have to live for those people. You live for yourself.

// 1:16am (via chasinqeuphoria)

[iambatoots]

Life hacks/Tips Here

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I don't stalk, I'm investigating kambal! 😂

RULE NUMBER FUCKING ONE: DON’T FUCKING STALK.

[iambatoots]

👌

As I get older, birthday parties are less about presents and more about presence

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If you’re not willing to risk it all, then you don’t want it bad enough

(via chinitangmakulit)

[iambatoots]

story of my fucking life

Me: I won't let it bother me I won't let it bother me I won't let it bother me

Me: *lays down to sleep at night*

Me: It bothers me, actually it really fucking bothers me, so let's lay here and think and stress about it instead of sleeping.