iamdoingbetterthanieverwas

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

Once again wondering if I’d be better off single. He hasn’t done at full week at work since March. He also hasn’t helped in the house beyond doing dishes (once they have sat around all day) or about half the laundry.

He has no idea how much I’m doing or how much work from my actual job I have to do. He works 36 hours a week (except he hasn’t for weeks!) and during this pinch point I’m actually close to 72 hours or more the last 3 weeks. Which I realise now is literally double his hours. He doesn’t commute. Doesn’t make dinner. Doesn’t even think about dinner in advance of 7pm.

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

Can’t post this on main but I literally just witnessed an Israeli I follow make the claim all Americans have the reading comprehension of 6th graders. Meanwhile, said poster eats propaganda 3x daily and defends genocide on here.

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

I think my baby is a boy. It’s weird the boys are always my low key favourites at work, like when I think back to old classes I remember the “naughty” boys most fondly of all, but I can’t imagine having one in my house

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

I know it’s insane but I swear to god I can feel this baby. Nothing definite but I feel like when I stand up it rolls about and my tummy feels weird.

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

Why are all people in all work places quite so impossible? Does anyone find colleagues easy?

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

does anyone know if anything will ever be okay again

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

I can’t get over how AWFUL I was over Christmas. My husband’s family will never forgive me.

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

I actually have 2 LHs readings above 0.3 already this month 😭😭😭

I will loose my mind if I actually ovulate 😭😭😭

Please please please!!!!

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

stress reading IVF statistics

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

Stupid thoughts about stupid work during the holidays

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

Also just found out friends are having twin girls in March.

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

I’m hiding down the side of the bed wishing to be anywhere but here. I think I need to go away for a few days. I need to be allowed to feel what I feel and not be policed and forced to seem happy and make his life easy.

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

Im in Crisis. Wishing I didn’t exist. Wishing I had a cupboard I could climb into and hide from him in. I wish I could not be here. I wish we weren’t about to hit 2 days of public holidays and being trapped together.

I keep thinking about divorce.

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

I am very evil. This is Why things don’t go my way. I am Evil and don’t deserve good things. I need to be kinder and better and good. I am bad.

[iamdoingbetterthanieverwas]

Like why were you so happy when you thought we were too young and she was younger? When you thought we were not stable enough? When she and her husband are always relying on hand outs? They couldn’t afford the god damn nct class for fucks sake! Why did you think they were ready and we were not? You are my greatest regret. I regret hanging around for you to pull your shit together. I regret letting you move in. I regret letting you drag me down to your living standards. I regret seeing your lack of ambition and thinking it would improve. I regret letting you shout at me and not shouting back. I regret wasting all this time with you when I deserve better.