iamn0tdansmith

[iamn0tdansmith]

sem título by czechoslovakia on Flickr.

[iamn0tdansmith]

The aquarium was a charming way to spend time with Rinan,

 despite her underwhelmed expression Dan had just slightly picked up on when he’d suggested it. Making her laugh at his silly mistake was easily his favorite part, that and seeing the thousands of colorful fish on display. Watching them swim to and fro was like admiring a moving piece of abstract artwork. He’d enjoyed their day together so far, but he hadn’t been expecting there to be any awkward silences or arguments. They were silly things, meaningless topics that they’d had to ‘agree to disagree’ as they conversed during their day. Dan reminded himself that it was normal, they were only just starting to get to know each other, and it was the first time they were spending time together outside of a bedroom. Still, once they had gotten to the fair and she’d excused herself to the bathroom, Daniel was almost relieved to have a moment to be able to text Kyle about his day. He felt like he was on a first date with a stranger, and he sort of was. He knew he loved her, though; the chemistry they had was too real to deny it.

Dan had been looking down at his phone for mere seconds when he was crashed into from behind, his phone tumbling to the ground from his hands and him stumbling backwards to meet it. He landed flat on his ass, the impact resonating through his body. It took him a second to catch his breath and find his phone, and when he finally saw what had crashed into him, he was stunned. Someone ran him over with their bike.

“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright.” He’d replied, only to be asked the same question again. The concerned young woman was beautiful, even as she knelt in the dirt. Dan chuckled then, standing up. His butt was a bit sore, but he was fine. “No worries, only hurt my pride.” He smiled at his own joke. “Partly my fault, anyway, I was looking at my phone.”

“I’m so sorry. I really should pay better attention.” The girl said. She really was stunning. The multicolored lights from the booth next to them reflected brightly off her silvery hair.

He repeated that there was nothing to worry about, and when she started scrambling to pick up her things, he helped her. She almost seemed surprised that he’d stopped to help her out, and he felt a twinge of sadness. No one should be surprised by kindness; it should be the standard. As he gathered her things; which consisted of many pet items, Dan noticed a pair of yellow eyes staring him down from her backpack. He took a literal step back, and for a second he didn’t know how to react to the sight. “There’s a cat in your bag.” He stated finally.

The girl introduced him to her cat, who’s name was Ash, like it was a natural, regular occurrence. Daniel wanted to laugh out loud. Instead, he scratched the kitty on top of his head, right between his ears. When she had gathered all her things, she got back on her bike, leaving Dan in the dust with another apology and passing farewell. He watched her as she biked away, and that’s when Rinan showed up next to him.

“Rin, oh my god, I can’t believe you just missed that.” He said when she got his attention. “I just got knocked on my arse by this girl on a bicycle, and she had a cat in her backpack?” The end of his sentence sounded like he wasn’t even sure he believed his own story. He reassured Rinan he was fine when she showed concern, and he continued to tell her about the weird cat lady and her bike. He couldn’t wait to tell Kyle about it, too. Needless to say, this girl had really left an impression.

The rest of the evening went on without issue or accident, until the two were in line for the Ferris wheel and Rin just walked off, saying she needed to take a call. They weren’t far off from the front of the line, but Dan didn’t even have a chance to protest; Rin had already slipped through the metal bars of the fenced line. If he was going to be honest, Dan was a bit peeved. He wasn’t at first, he trusted that the call was important and she had to take it, but the closer he got to the front of the line, the more he felt like she had just ditched him. He had reached the steps leading up to the wheel, there were only six people in front of him. Dan spotted her next to the cotton candy stand and caught her eye. He tried waving her over, but she just turned around, her hand blocking her ear. Soon, there were only four people in front of him, then two. When it was his turn, the worker asked him if he was alone.

“Well, no, but…” Dan looked around again, but Rin wasn’t there.

“Just get on,” the worker said, shooing him onto the cart. Dan heard him call for any other solo riders, and a second later there was someone else with him. He still stared down at the crowd, looking for Rinan and only briefly spotting her before the cart lurched forward.

The sun had begun to set. Bright streaks of yellow, orange and magenta bleeding into indigo painted the sky, matching the rainbow colours on the Ferris wheel. “Oh wow. What kind of coincidence is this?” A familiar voice came from beside him.

It was the cat lady from earlier, and Daniel’s eyebrows shot up. “Obviously a crazy coincidence, but I’m not the type to believe in those.” They laughed, and he was surprised all over again when she introduced herself as Coal. An interesting name, but he didn’t say so. He figured she had heard countless comments about her name, and he wasn’t about to add onto it. Besides, he kind of liked it.

Seeing the golden light reflecting in her deep brown eyes, he was struck again by her beauty. Guiltily, his eyes shot away from her, but just as soon he looked away, his gaze was drawn back to her. Rinan was waiting for him on the other side of the wheel, but Coal had his attention. “I’m Dan,” he introduced himself, and they shook hands in a semi-formal way, giggling together again. He was surprised by how relaxed he felt. This was an extremely awkward situation, but it felt like anything but. “I see you left Ash at home?” He commented.

“Yeah, he’s afraid of heights.” She replied jokingly, and the two were laughing again.

“Coal and Ash. Are your names another happy coincidence?” He teased. He wasn’t proud to be mentioning her unique name after all, but he couldn’t resist bringing up the connection.

At this point, they were up at the top of the wheel, and it stopped there for a moment. The two of them stopped, wordlessly admiring the most gorgeous view. On one side there was the gorgeous sunset, and on the other side the deep, dark blue of night was closing in, filling the sky with stars. Dan rested his hand on the bench, which touched her hand just ever so slightly. He didn’t move his hand, not minding the touch. They sat together in comfortable silence, and Dan’s attention shifted to her. While she stared out at the view, his eyes kept being drawn back to her face.

The Ferris wheel lurched again, and they were on their way back down. Daniel suddenly felt down, knowing this would likely be the last time he would see this girl. Still, it was no coincidence that they’d run into each other twice in one night, but he didn’t feel right asking for her number. After everything he’d been through with Rin, it wouldn’t be fair. He was still on a date, after all. At that moment, his phone buzzed, with a text from Rinan. A scowl formed on his lips. She was ditching him, for real. Her text stated that something had come up, and she needed to leave the fair. He couldn’t believe this.

They were almost at the end of the ride when Coal spoke again. “So, this might be totally random and out of line, but can I give you my number?”

Her boldness surprised him once more, and he noticed that this was kind of a pattern with her. Almost everything that came out of Coal’s mouth was a pleasant surprise. Maybe he was feeling petty after being ditched by Rin, but he obliged immediately. “It’s random, but not at all out of line. Here,” he handed her his phone, displaying a ‘new contact’ page, and watched as she not only entered her number, but texted herself from his phone so she’d have his number, too. He liked that; being on an even playing field, if that’s even where it was heading. Dan had never felt so torn, but he was relieved that whatever happened, he’d have a way to contact this girl that made him laugh.

 ------

 Alex Turner sat in the rooftop terrace of the bar with his bandmates, a couple of their girlfriends, and a few friends. He was surrounded by people he cared for, but he only felt like the group was complete once she walked in. Rinan, who was even more stunning every time he saw her.

“Rin! Love, over here!” He called, waving her over to their booth. She joined them underneath the trellis which dripped vines of flowers and greenery. It was a really quite charming place. He handed her a drink, which she immediately took a sip from. “I ordered you your favorite when you texted.”

She had let him know she’d be coming sooner than expected, but hadn’t explained why. Alex didn’t question it, though, and he was secretly a little bit glad that her date with Dan ended early. He rest his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a kiss on her forehead.

Alex lifted his glass in the air. “Here’s to Rinan’s big Billboard win, and many more! You deserve it, Rin.” Everyone cheersed to his toast, and the embarrassed smile on her face made him grin. While she was normally so stoic and tough, Alex knew her well enough to know that she didn’t give herself enough credit for the work she did, and he was going make sure she knew just how amazing she was.

“So, how was your night?” He was genuine in his question, and while he was curious to know why her date ended so early, he mostly wanted to make sure she was alright.

[iamn0tdansmith]

“Meet me here tomorrow?”

 Dan tried to hide the desperation in his voice. He didn’t want her to leave. It was already so late at night, he wished they could just curl up in bed together and laze around all day. Unfortunately, they had lives and responsibilities and they both had other people they needed to deal with, somehow. He hadn’t heard much of her phone conversation with Alex. If she had shut herself away in the bathroom, it was probably for a reason, and after all the shit they’ve been through, he wanted to respect her privacy.

           They kissed again, and he offered her a ride back to her hotel. It wasn’t too far from his own, but there was no way he’d let her walk back at half past two in the morning. The five-minute lift became a half-hour long, as they couldn’t stop kissing each other in the car. It was sweet; every time Rinan was ready to get out of the car, she’d turn back and kiss him one more time, which turned into heated make-outs. He missed her as soon as she shut the car door.

 --------

           Alex Turner sat at the table in his hotel room, in the room he was meant to be sharing with Rinan, absentmindedly spinning and empty glass. There was whisky in the glass, before he had drank it all, and now he was out. He thought about going out for a smoke, but he only had one cigarette left. His cell phone was the only other item on the table. He stared at it, waiting for any sign of life. He had already blown Rinan’s phone enough that night, and he hated how clingy it made him seem, but he was worried sick. After the awards show, she had just disappeared. Even the journalists hadn’t seen her. No one knew where she had gone, and it worried him.

           The two of them were close. Close enough for Alex to know many of her dark secrets, and close enough for him to be rightfully worried, given those secrets. He decided to give her a call again, just one more call. He put it on speaker and let it ring, waiting to hear the voicemail message he had heard over a dozen times that night. But then he heard her voice, Rinan’s real voice, not the poor-quality recording of her voicemail.

           “What happened? I’ve been trying to reach you, love; where’d you make off to?” He tried to hide the relief in his voice, not wanting her to feel bad for worrying him. He was just glad she was okay.

“I met up with Dan. And we just cut out early. I’m sorry if I worried you.”

Alex sat back in his chair. This whole time, she was with another guy? Really, he knew he couldn’t be upset or jealous because it’s not like they were an exclusive couple. He just thought they had enough of a commitment to each other that she’d at least take the time to let him know she was alright. That’s what annoyed him the most; the fact that she couldn’t take three seconds before or after getting screwed by Dan Smith to just tell him she wasn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. He didn’t say any of that, though. “I’ll see you in a bit, then.”

He waited for her to reply before he hung up the phone. Alex wasn’t sure what he meant by ‘in a bit’. He still didn’t know if she’d be staying at Dan’s or coming back to their hotel room. He just knew he couldn’t stay here, not at the moment. He wrote her a note, just in case she came back while he was out. He didn’t want to worry her. He left the hotel not knowing where he was going, he just needed some air.

First stop was to get more cigarettes, as he had lit up his last one as soon as he stepped outside. Next stop was a bar that was surprisingly still open. Alex sat on a stool, a few seats down from a man passed out on the bar top.

“Is it too late for a whisky rocks?” Alex asked the bartender.

“You’re just in time for last call, mate. Here you go.”

Alex nursed it slowly, enjoying the burn. There was a couple making out in the back. In fact, he wasn’t quite sure they weren’t doing more than that. Whatever they were doing, he pretended he didn’t see any of it. Alex stayed in the bar until it closed up, then continued to wander around the city. He had circled his way back toward the hotel and decided to stroll through the park nearby.

Rinan was on one of the benches, and Alex noticed her from afar. He would have recognized her anywhere, but it still surprised him to see her there. He strode over, having calmed down from their previous phone conversation. “Ah, fancy seeing you here.” He said, a smile on his lips. Seeing her confused expression, he explained himself, joking with her.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I’m just feeling a lot of things that I really can’t seem to figure out.”

Alex sat next to her, nodding. He understood all too well. “I can’t say that it’s alright, because it’s not. But I will tell you I’m not giving up on this. I know we don’t really behave like a normal couple, but I’m okay with that. I’ll let you explore whatever you want with whoever you want. I’ll still be here. You’ve got me, Rin.”

He pulled her close to him, wanting her to feel the truth in his words. He meant every one of them, because he knew no matter what happened, no matter who Rinan chose, she would always have her. They were far too close to ever leave each other.

Eventually they went back to the hotel room, and the two of them slept for a really long while, entangled in the bedsheets and each other.

  --------

Meanwhile, Dan had barely slept. He couldn’t stop thinking of Rinan, and by the time he had actually fallen asleep, his phone woke him up. It was Christina calling, again. He groaned and picked it up.

She spoke before he could. “I’m outside your hotel room!” Her all-too-enthusiastic voice said over the phone.

“What? Chris, I told you I’d come see you later. Why are you here?” He grumbled, shuffling out of bed. It was rare for him to be so snappy with someone, but after being bombarded with calls and texts from her all night, he was running low on patience.

“I just missed you, silly, and you told me we’d see each other in the morning.” She was so matter-of-fact, so oblivious.

Daniel let her in, and she immediately wrapped her arms around his chest in a hug. He didn’t push her away, but he didn’t hug her back either. “Chris, listen, I’m actually glad you’re here because we need to talk.”

She pulled away and looked up at him, her bangs falling into her eyes. “What is it? You’re not breaking up with me, are you? On our almost-two-month-iversary?” Her lip started quivering like a child.

“I’m sorry, I really liked you, and you’re a sweet girl but I don’t see this working in the long run, hun.” Dan had left out all the parts about how he was in love with another woman, but what he said wasn’t wrong.

The redhead burst into tears sinking down on the edge of the bed, and Dan rubbed her lightly on the shoulder. He didn’t want to give her any wrong ideas, but he also couldn’t just watch a girl cry and not try to console them. Break-ups sucked, especially when you’re being dumped. Just then, the crying stopped. Christina pointed at a small black rectangle on the floor.

“What is that?” She asked accusingly.

Dan shrugged. “I don’t know,” he replied in all honesty. He had no idea what that was.

Christina stood from her seat on the bed and walked over to the item, picking it up in her hand. She took the lid off of the rectangle and showed it to him. “This is lipstick, Dan. And I doubt it’s yours.” She glanced around the room, only just noticing that Kyle wasn’t in it. “Wait, you lied to me yesterday? And you were with some whore!” She shouted at him.

“Whoa, wait. Chris, that’s not—” He was at a loss for words, and even if he did know what to tell her, she wouldn’t give him the chance.

“Who is she, Dan? Huh? Tell me!” Christina threw the lipstick at him and it bounced off his chest. Whatever sadness she felt a few moments earlier had turned to rage.

“Ow, what the hell?” He rubbed the spot where the tiny metal box hit him. Now he was a bit peeved. “Christina, just go, alright? I already told you we’re done.”

“I’m going to find out who she is, Dan. Don’t you worry! And when I know, I’m going to ruin both your lives.” Her pretty brown eyes narrowed at him, but he just took what she said as empty threats. How would she ever find out? And how could she possibly ruin their lives when she won’t be in them?

Daniel led her to the door and shut it behind her, glad to be rid of her. Crazy bitch… he thought. But he had other things to think about, now. He needed to get ready to see Rin.

 --------

Alex watched Rinan get ready in their hotel room the next morning. They had chatted over breakfast together like nothing had changed, like she wasn’t about to go meet with another guy. He had to continuously remind himself that A.) he and Rin were not exclusive. B.) because of that, he had no right to have an opinion on what she did or who she saw. And C.) he had stupidly gone and told her that he was okay with her ‘exploring herself.’ Whatever that meant. He wanted her to be happy, he truly did, but he wanted her to be happy with him. There was no taking back what he said now, and he still meant it for the most part. It was just going to be really hard on him to watch the woman he loves so much be with someone else.

What reassured him, though, was knowing they’d be on tour together soon, which meant lots of time together. Alex might just be able to remind her all the reasons why the two of them work so well together, in more ways than one.

“I never got a chance to congratulate you on your win, love, so congratulations.” Alex lifted his mimosa glass, making her come over to lift her empty one to cling together. “Here’s to the first of many awards for your incredible career.”

She smiled at him, but then announced she was heading out almost right after. The nice moment became a sour one for Alex. Still, he tried to be supportive. “Alright, love, have a good time. I’ll let you know if I end up going out with the boys, if you’d want to join us later.”

Rinan thanked him and surprised him by giving him a kiss on the cheek as she left. That girl had his heart and she didn’t even know it. Now, it seemed, she had two men’s hearts. Eventually, she would have to choose between them.

--------

When a knock came from his door, Dan jumped up from the balcony chair. He all but sprinted to it, excited to see Rin again. She stood on the other side of it, gorgeous as ever. Dan pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair and leaving soft kisses on her neck.

“I’m so glad to see you. I broke things off with Christina, and everything is okay.” He announced. When Rinan asked if she took it well, he grimaced. “Not so much, but she’ll get over it. We weren’t even together for two whole months. By the way, this belongs to you.” He handed her the lipstick Christina had found, and she tucked it away in her purse.

Dan put his hands in the pockets of his dark wash jeans. He was wearing a plain black t-shirt with a thin navy-blue hoodie over it. When Rin asked what he wanted to do, he smiled. “I was thinking we could visit the city, maybe go to the aquarium nearby, visit some of the touristy-places. There’s a fair in town, too!” He said excitedly, then kissed her firmly on the lips. “I just want to spend the day with you.”

[iamn0tdansmith]

Wrapped in a sheet, hair damp and tangled from the rain and the sex,

Rinan was still so stunning. Dan was floored all over again by her beauty. Quiet thunder could still be heard as the storm moved away, making room for a different kind of storm.

��          “You alright there, love?” Daniel asked her when she hadn’t moved from her spot. She seemed a little zoned out, and his question brought her back.

           When she told him she was looking for her phone, he didn’t hesitate. Dan helped her search the room, finding it underneath her gown. Such a pretty dress… he thought passively, hoping it hadn’t been ruined by the rain. He picked up the device, the screen lighting up automatically as he flipped it over. On the screen were many missed calls from none other than Alex Turner. Dan suddenly had a bad taste in his mouth. He hadn’t wanted to bring it up, hadn’t wanted to ruin their night, but he couldn’t keep pretending that being in love with someone suddenly erased all the problems. And problems, there were many.

           “Looks like you’ve been sorely missed,” his voice was flippant and bitter as he handed her the cellphone. Her response only furthered his frustration. He needed to know where he stood in all this, where she stood with Alex. He was tired of the uncertainty. He knew he wanted her and only her, and while he knew she felt their connection as much as he did, their relationship was clouded by so much doubt. Finally, he snapped at her, trying to keep his voice calm. “So, you’ll be his, but you won’t be mine?”

           Rinan didn’t say anything, but there was no way Dan was going to take any more of her silent treatment. He stepped toward her, gently but firmly taking her chin and making her look at him. He needed to see her eyes, wanted to feel her lips. “If you’re his, then why were you just in my bed, hm?”

            “I-I don’t know…” Her voice was so quiet, she seemed to shrink. Yet when he put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer, the look she gave him was larger than life.

           She did not yet know the answer to his question, but that was okay, because he did. He knew what they had was special, unmatched, and undeniable. “It’s because you’re mine.” She dropped the bedsheet and seeing her naked body again made his blood rush. He took the hint and lifted her into his arms, kissing her passionately. Feeling her so close made him rock hard once more. “Say it,” he breathed, biting her neck. He leaned her back against the wall for leverage and teased her, teasing himself in the process. He wanted her so badly. “Say it,” he repeated, smirking when he felt just how wet she was.

            “I’m yours Dan. I’m only yours.” Her words were golden. Dan couldn’t contain himself any longer. He fucked her with feverish passion, not wanting this ecstasy to end.

           It had to end, however, and before long the couple were asleep, holding each other in bed. Daniel was happy, blissful as he slept with Rinan in his arms. He even dreamt of her, of the life they could have together. He heard her faraway voice in his dream. “I think someone’s at your door…” What an odd thing for her to say as they made music together. Then he was awake, and he was no longer dreaming. Dan was disoriented, but comforted knowing Rinan was still next to him. “The door. There’s someone knocking,” she repeated. He hadn’t even heard the knocks.

           Dan grumbled out of bed, half asleep, lazily putting his boxers on as he walked to the door. His hair stuck straight up on one side of his head. He checked the peephole, his eye taking a moment to adjust to the light from the hallway. At first he only saw the silhouette of a woman, then that shadow took the shape of a pretty redhead.

           “Christina…” he whispered. In his mind, alarm bells were ringing, and he was suddenly back in time to two days ago, when he had kissed Christina goodbye and made plans to see her the night of the awards show. The memory of it came rushing back and he cursed at himself.

           He opened the door just a crack, slipping out of the room and into the hallway. He made sure to put his heel back just a bit to keep the door from shutting completely and locking him out.

           “Dan, you’re up, finally!” Christina spoke loudly.

           “Shh, Chris. Let’s not wake up the whole floor,” he forced a smile so she’d know he was partly joking.

           She rolled her chestnut eyes and pouted. “I��ve been texting and calling, why didn’t you come to my place?”

           Dan needed to get rid of her but didn’t know what to say to get her to leave. He tried to come up with an excuse. “I’m sorry, Chris. We went out after the show and I lost track of time, and then Kyle, you know how he is, he was sick all over the cab and it was this whole big thing.”

           “Oh,” she raised an eyebrow. “Well, since you couldn’t make it to my place, maybe I could spend the night with you here.” Christina undid the belt of her jacket and opened it just slightly, revealing little else underneath. She reached for the door, but he swatted her hand away. She stood back, shocked.

           “Not tonight, Chris, I’m spent. Kyle finally got to sleep and all, I don’t want to be a bother to him. You know how it is,” Daniel shrugged, trying his best to be casual and inconspicuous.

           Christina wasn’t having it, though. She wasn’t suspicious, but she seemed determined to spend what was left of the night with Dan. “Come on, baby, it’s our two month-iversary next week!” She threw her arms around his neck, going in for a kiss. He moved his face, her pouting lips pressing onto his cheek.

           He took her arms from his shoulders and put them at her sides. “Chris, I said no, I’m sorry. I’ll come see you tomorrow, I promise.” He said what he could to convince her, but she hadn’t budged. Before she could say anything else, Dan slipped back into the room and shut the door, leaving her standing alone in the hallway. He felt horrible, and he was about to feel even worse when he turned back to Rinan.

           Before turning around, Dan pressed his forehead on the door and took in a deep breath. And then another, and another. He couldn’t stand there avoiding her forever. Finally, he stepped further into the room, expecting to see Rinan gathering her things. She wasn’t there, though, and for a second Dan was afraid she had somehow become a parkour expert and managed to escape from the balcony, but that’s exactly where she was. Her could see her figure standing outside, leaning over the railing, illuminated solely by moonlight and the lit cigarette in her hand. She was wearing his dress shirt and nothing else, which Dan took as a good sign. He didn’t know how much Rinan had heard of his conversation with Christina, but he knew he couldn’t lie. He didn’t want to lie, he wanted a clean slate, to start again on the right foot.

           Daniel joined Rinan on the balcony, leaning on the railing next to her. The air still smelled of rain, and they were quiet for a little while. He enjoyed the stillness before he had to explain himself. “I’m a hypocrite.” He knew he sounded defeated and pitiful. “I’m a big ol’ hypocrite, I know I am.”

           Rinan was silent still, but she nodded her head in agreement.

           “I’ve not been seeing her long, and I’m going to end it when I see her later.” He continued. He knew it made him seem like an ass, but he just wasn’t that into Christina. She was a sweet bird, kind but clingy, and it was his fault he wasn’t clear with her about his feelings. “I truly thought I’d never see you again.” Speaking the words out loud, his heart was heavy with truth. He was afraid of never feeling the way Rinan made him feel, and he rushed into a so-called relationship out of the fear of being lonely. It wasn’t fair to anyone involved. Finally, he apologized. “I’m sorry, Rinan… I’m yours, and only yours.” He used her own words from earlier, hoping she would believe him, and they could start over, for real this time.

[iamn0tdansmith]

[iamn0tdansmith]

His head spun as he sat on the lone bench.

 The party was distant but loud, and all he wanted was silence. Daniel wasn’t sure he even wanted to, but the fact that he couldn’t concentrate on his thoughts made his breathing shallow with stress. All he could hear was thumping of fast music, just faint enough to not be able to make out the song. His heart beat as quickly as the bass of the tune. Dan loosened his tie, then decided to take it off completely. It was suffocating. The clink of glasses, cheery laughter, caterers shouting from the kitchen. Despite his isolation, the noise was overwhelming.

           Just then a voice broke through the cacophony of sounds. “Dan…,” Even before his head snapped up, he knew who that voice belonged to. It couldn’t be anyone else.

           Rinan, he thought. He stared into her eyes and suddenly there was silence. Everything around them had melted away, yet for a moment he couldn’t move. As soon as she took a step forward, though, he lifted himself from his seat. Within seconds they were in each others’ arms. He held her cheeks in his palms, her small, slender face looking even more petite in his large hands. He kissed her fervently, all the frustration and resentment he had just melting away with every passing moment. After six months without her, Dan was elated just to be able to see her again.

           Their kiss seemed to last an eternity, and even when their lips were apart, he held her just as close, wanting to feel every part of her as he once had. Eventually he had to pull away, or else he felt his heart might burst.

“I missed you…,” she whispered to him. He was about to tell her he had missed her, too, more than even he had known, but then his phone buzzed in his pocket. The message displayed on his screen wasn’t good news, at least not to Dan.

           “The show’s starting,” he spoke softly, and it was the first words he had said to her since they last saw each other. When he looked back on that moment, he wished he had said something a bit sweeter, cleverer. But he was a bit lost for words either way. He wished they didn’t have to go. All he wanted was to stay there, with her. After being torn to pieces so many times, Daniel would forever be hesitant to let Rinan go out of fear she would run away again. He knew it wasn’t healthy, but the feelings he had for this woman were so overwhelming. “Will you meet me here afterwards?” He asked, finally.

           She nodded in response, but he didn’t want to let her go just yet. Dan reached out and took her slender wrist, pulling her back to him. “Promise me.” He just barely kissed her, needing more of a commitment than a simple passing nod. He needed to know she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

“I-I promise.” Rinan’s melodic voice gave him all the reassurance he needed.

The two went their separate ways once again, but hopefully not for long.

 For the entire duration of the awards show, Dan kept scanning the crowd for Rinan. It wasn’t until her nomination for Best Upcoming Singer/Songwriter came up that he was able to spot her using the screens. And when she won, his heart soared for her. Seeing her climb gracefully up onto the stage, watching her accept her award with humility, and hearing her lovely speech full of hope and gratitude. It all made him love her so much more. He was proud of her, and happy for her, and he hoped she wasn’t too overwhelmed with all the praise and recognition. He knew he was overwhelmed when Bastille had won their first award at the BRITs.

The event was over, finally, and Dan told his bandmates to go on without him. He didn’t have to explain much, they figured Rinan was the reason Daniel would be staying behind.

He made a beeline for the terrace, slipping through the crowd and dodging interviewers. Once Dan was outside, he sighed. It was full of people enjoying the crisp nighttime air. He scanned the crowd, hoping for a glimpse of her. Maybe she wasn’t outside just yet. He milled around, pacing from one end to the other. Clouds rolled in steadily overhead, a small rumble of thunder heard just slightly over the chatter.

Rinan was nowhere to be found. Daniel even spotted that smug Alex Turner chatting with some other artists without his date. He almost started to worry. When the rain started pouring, everyone filed back into the venue. It was time to head to the club for the afterparty, anyway. Dan sat in the same spot he had sat earlier, covered just barely by an awning along the side of the building. There, he waited. The crowd dissipated, until he was the only one outside. Still no Rinan.

Daniel mentally kicked himself. He should have known better. Why had he gotten his hopes up so high? Why did he keep convincing himself that she felt for him what he felt for her? He got up out of his seat, letting the rain soak through his suit. He was just about to head inside when something made him turn around. He saw her from the corner of his eye first; the long slit on her dress exposing her soft thigh. She stood in the downpour, leaning over the balcony, facing away from him. Her hair was soaked, dripping down her back. She didn’t seem to mind the rain.

He shrugged his damp jacket off and made his way over to her, draping it over her shoulders. It was wet, but at least she wouldn’t be too cold. “You’re here,” he said, finally.

A small, corner smile played on her lips as she turned her face to look up at him. “A promise is a promise.”

Dan took her into his arms, then, kissing her with as much passion as earlier that evening. The rain fell down on the couple, lightening illuminating the sky every once in a while matching the intensity of their kiss.

“Let’s get out of here,” he breathed when they finally broke apart.

Rinan and Dan left through the emergency exit, avoiding any and everyone. They fled like wanted criminals, holding hands and running down the street in the rain. The way to the hotel was a blur of rain and kisses. Dan hailed a cab once they were around the corner from the venue which brought them to his hotel. The couple giggled like children in the elevator on the way up, thankful they hadn’t been spotted.

Everything just felt right. Even as Dan fumbled through his pockets for his room key, even as Rinan stumbled taking off her slippery heels, even as they clumsily took off each others’ clothes. It felt right and it felt good and Daniel’s heart was soaring. They laughed between kisses and nipped playfully at each other’s necks. It was passionate and silly and reminded him of how much he loved being around her.

The lights were dim in the room as they laid on the bed. Dan kissed her shoulder, her chest, her stomach, her hip. He went down on her, enjoying every whimper, moan, and squeal that escaped her lips. He was hard and impatient, but he wanted to make her feel good. It had been such a long time since he had been with her, he wanted to take his time and savor every second he had with her. Eventually Dan couldn’t take it anymore. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smirked down at Rinan before taking her by the hips and turning her around, so she laid flat on her front. He moved her hair to the side and kissed her cheek, her neck, her shoulder as he climbed on top of her. Whatever patience he had a few moments ago was gone, and he buried his erection swiftly and deeply into her from behind. Her gasps made it hard for him to control himself. He pounded into her, grabbing and slapping her ass. He watched her clench and unclench her fists, holding tightly onto the bedsheets. Dan maneuvered his hand under her, rubbing her clit while pumping in and out, in and out. Their breathing was shallow and completely in tune with each other. They carried on this way for a little while longer, until they both came in unison. Fireworks swelled in both of them as he came hard inside her…

 They lay there for a while, catching their breaths and holding each other close. He ran circles on her back with his fingertips.

“Congrats on your big win, by the way,” he said quietly, smiling at her.

He listened as she told him how she felt about it. Dan never wanted to leave this moment, here with her in bed. It was like the past six months had never happened, and they had picked up right where they left off. Unfortunately, though, the urge to take a piss became unbearable. “I’m sorry, I really have to pee,” he admitted sheepishly. “I’ll be right back. I love you, you know.” He kissed her lips and didn’t wait for her to answer before going into the washroom.

Dan had left his cellphone on the bedside table and, unbeknownst to him, it lit up with a missed call and a text from someone that hadn’t crossed his mind all evening…

[iamn0tdansmith]

bastille —  world gone mad

[iamn0tdansmith]

[iamn0tdansmith]

[iamn0tdansmith]

“I… I can’t do whatever ‘this’ is.”

Her voice stuttered. One second, he was kissing her, the next, she was pulling away. Coming down from the moment of bliss, he could hardly understand what she was saying. His hands dropped to his sides.

“I can’t believe this,” it came out barely as a whisper. He needed to get out of there. The hurt, the rejection, the hopes he had gotten up so high crashing down, it was all building up and manifesting itself as anger inside of him. It took him two long strides to get to the doorway. “I’m fuckin’ over this, Rinan.”

           In a blink, Dan was walking out the main doors of the hotel out into the pouring London rain. How fitting for his mood. He felt like a pathetic cartoon character with a rain cloud relentlessly following him around, except this time he felt like he had been struck with lightning. It almost felt like that first night he had met Rinan, he had all the energy and jitters, except this time his body ached, like he had been on fire. Who knew heartbreak could be so physically painful?

           The walk back home felt endless, but he didn’t want to take a cab. When he stepped inside the house, his bandmates were ready for their secret show and Dan was dripping rain water all over their entrance mat.

           “What the hell happened to you, mate?” Kyle was clearly agitated. “I love you, man, but honestly I’m kind of sick of you disappearing on us like this.”

           Chris had his arms crossed in front of his chest. “We were just about to cancel the show, Dan. We have to be at there in half an hour.”

           Dan’s guilt ballooned inside him. They were right, they had every reason to be upset with him. He had been a flake, vanishing for hours, keeping them guessing on whether he’ll show up or not. Even during the past month when he hadn’t seen Rinan, he was distant and almost cold with his mates. He found himself wandering around the cities he was in, secretly hoping to run into her the way he had before. Stupid. It was all so stupid. “You’re right, I’m sorry. It won’t be happening anymore.” His mates exchanged looks. “I’m going to go get ready.”

           He skipped showering and quickly blow-dried his soaked hair after changing into clean clothes. A basic graphic tee and slouchy jeans were good enough for the show tonight. He had no reason to dress fancier than that. Dan joined the rest of the band in the living room. They had been talking and the chatter immediately died down when he walked in. Subtle. Kyle walked up to him.

           “What happened with Rinan?” He asked quietly. It wasn’t hard to figure out that she was the reason for Dan’s sour mood. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

           Dan didn’t want to talk about it, but he knew if he didn’t, he’d carry all that on stage with him and he didn’t want it affecting his performance. For once he wasn’t a complete nervous wreck before a show, he didn’t want it to be ruined by his shitty mood. So, he caught Kyle and the guys up on what happened, told them how he went to see her, how he stupidly told her he loved her, how she flat out rejected him after letting him in and letting him kiss her. How she rejected him after pulling his hopes up high, so high. He was done, he couldn’t handle it anymore.

           The guys were sympathetic and understanding, and even wrapped him up in the corniest group hug. It was lame but it kind of made Dan feel a bit better. At least he had his mates there to support him. It put things into perspective for him. He had been treating them poorly for a girl that just played with his feelings, that refused to admit what was going on between them, that couldn’t put her loner attitude aside long enough to try. Dan knew he was being harsh, Rinan clearly had issues that probably explained why she was the way she was. They hadn’t known each other for very long, but Dan would have been ready to tell her everything. Every bit of his life, the good, the bad, the really bad. Clearly, they weren’t on the same page nor the same level if she didn’t want to let him in. That was her choice, he couldn’t change that. But he was done begging and done chasing and done waiting. He knew he couldn’t handle that kind of rejection again, not from her.

           The show went smoothly, and Dan felt like he had gone back in time. The small tavern had the same feeling it had when he had first started performing, before the band had reached their peak popularity. It was an intense and refreshing feeling, and Dan loved every second of it. For the first time in months, Rinan wasn’t on his mind. At some point during their set, he had spotted a cute blonde eyeing him in the crowd and he decided he needed to get laid. He felt like an idiot for needing a rebound after a non-relationship like he had had, but the feelings he had for Rinan were so strong he knew he’d need more than time to get over her.

[iamn0tdansmith]

The hotel door shut quietly behind Dan and he walked back to his home for the night.

Truthfully, nothing actually felt like home when he was on the road. The closest thing he had to feeling that “home” level of comfort was when he spent time with Rinan, but he had just ruined that. He ruined it by leaving, by not saying goodbye, by not waiting for further explanation. Not that he even deserved an explanation, she wasn’t his girlfriend. I’m such an idiot, he thought has we walked along.

           It had started pouring and his hair flopped down in front of his lowered eyes. He watched his steps and nothing else as he walked along, always moving out of someone’s way at the last second. He didn’t care, though. All the could think about was the conversation. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Rinan had meant when she said ‘hang out’. That was basically why Dan up and left. He didn’t want to know the details of her having sex with one of the biggest British musicians to date. She certainly seemed to have a type. Now I’m an arsehole, he cursed himself for thinking what he did. She was an adult and consenting woman, she could do whatever she wanted, and he had no right to judge her. In fact, it was probably naïve of him to think that he was the only person she slept with regularly, or semi-regularly. He wasn’t sure if two fateful meetings counted.

           He finally got to his hotel after an extra long walk. He was hoping his bandmates would all be in bed by the time he got in. The last thing he wanted to go was talk about how embarrassed he was by his immaturity. Thankfully, the room was quiet and dark when he got in, except for Kyle’s snoring. Dan quietly changed out of his wet clothes and got into bed. He heard stirring in the bed next to his and a few seconds later, the bedside lamp was flicked on.

           “Where’ve you been, mate?” Kyle asked. “I was beginning to worry.”

           “Sure, you must’ve been well worried if you were snoring.” Dan retorted coldly.

           “Alright, man, what’s up? What happened?” Dan let out a long sigh after a pause, then filled his best friend in on what went on that night. He left out the details about the sex, Dan did not kiss and tell, and mostly focused on the end part, where he had acted like an idiot. “Wow. Alex Turner? Like, THE Alex Turner was waiting for her? That’s rough, man.”

           Dan grunted in response, wanting the conversation to be over.

           “Look, it’s not that bad, Dan. I probably would have left, too. It’s not easy when you like someone so much and all you can picture is them being with someone else. Maybe call her up in the morning, apologize, ask her out.” It was good advice, but Dan knew she had an early flight. She probably wouldn’t pick up even if she could. “Or, you know, maybe fate will bring you two back together again. It’s already happened, twice.” Kyle was being playful and silly, but there was some truth in his voice. The boys said goodnight to each other and Kyle shut off the light.

           Two months later, Dan woke up in a cab. Bastille’s North American tour was over and the band had gone home back to London. They were on the way back home, to their five-person house share, and he couldn’t wait to get back and settle in. They had one last show that night, a quiet, secret show in a small venue like they used to perform before they became so popular. Dan was actually pretty excited for it.

           For two months, Dan debated whether or not to contact her. He had her number, she had his. They hid finally exchanged them when they stopped to eat that last night. He went back and forth on calling her, but she had never left his mind, not once. Even if he stopped thinking about her, he was reminded of her in interviews. Their duet went viral and the first question he was asked in interviews was if they were together. He said no, simply put. He talked her up a bit, told the world how much of a talented artist she was, because it was the truth, and because he wanted to steer the conversation away from the relationship talk. It wasn’t easy to navigate, he was used to Kyle taking over interviews, so he didn’t have to talk much.

           Finally, he arrived home and dropped all of his luggage in his room. Dan was exhausted, both mentally and physically. And emotionally, too. He threw himself on his bed, deciding to unpack his stuff the next day, and wrapped himself up in his fluffy comforter. He had missed his bed more than anything. What he missed almost as much as his bed was his favorite sandwich from his favorite little restaurant downtown. Dan didn’t want to leave just yet, but he knew he didn’t have much time before he needed to get ready for the show, and he had promised himself that the first thing he’d do once back in London is get himself that sandwich. He said a quick goodbye to the guys, who were all being much more responsible than him and unpacking their things right away. He asked if they wanted anything, but they replied that they had already ordered a pizza. Ah, pizza sounded good, too. But not as good as that sandwich.

It didn’t take too long for him to arrive to the street the shop was on. The rain was a bit more than a drizzle, but Dan was used to it. He pulled the hood of his hoodie down as he reached the line of shops with endless awnings. There was more shelter from the rain, there. As he walked, across the street was one of his favorite coffee shops, Raison D’etre, and told himself he’d get tea from there on the way back from the sandwich shop. He didn’t get there, though, because he saw her. Even from the back, he recognized her immediately. She was also the only person sitting on the terrace of Raison D’etre so it’s not like he had to pick her out from the crowd.

“Rinan?” He called, getting closer and crossing the street. “Rinan,” he said, more firmly since he hadn’t gotten her attention the first time. She was clearly so lost in thought and he startled her enough to knock her out of her chair. He climbed over the rope fence and quickly helped her up to her feet. She was covered in wet and dirt from the ground and he instinctively started brushing her off. The look on her face as just as priceless as the first time they bumped into each other at a coffee shop.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, and it felt all too much like a déjà vu.

Her reply was short and kind of cold. Dan’s eyes narrowed. Was she seriously still mad at him for leaving? He would have liked to see her react any differently if he had had a woman waiting for him when he brought Rinan to his room. He sat down in front of her, despite his own frustration building inside him. “Dan, look…” It sounded like she was going to dump him. Which is stupid because they aren’t even together, but Dan didn’t want to hear it. He interrupted her before she could continue.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I overreacted.” He started. “I mean, it’s not like we’re together. It’s not like you’re mine.” Saying those words hurt, because he wanted her to be his, so badly.

She clearly didn’t see it that way, though, because her reply was short and cutting. “You’re right, I’m not.” The ache in his heart doubled with her words. Before he could even say anything, before he could ask her if it would be so bad for them to be with each other, before he could tell her he wanted to be hers and her to be his, she was gone.

Dan sat there dumbfounded and kind of pissed. He no longer had any appetite for his sandwich. Something that was so important to him before was now the last thing on his mind. What the hell had even just happened? It wasn’t fair. Dan stood of quickly. He had decided to take matters into his own hands. Fate brought them together, again, a third time. That had to mean something, and he wasn’t going to let this opportunity go. He tried calling her on the way back home but it went straight to voicemail. Dan hoped her phone was just off and she wasn’t ignoring him.

He got home and did some digging on the internet, taking a slice of pizza from the kitchen counter back to his room to calm his hunger. Rinan’s popularity had metastasized since releasing her album and performing with Bastille, so there was plenty of information online. Various sites said she was in London for an interview and a show the Monday coming up. She was rumored to be staying at a hotel not too far away. He had to go see her.

Slipping out the door, Dan ignored the chorus of questions from his bandmates. He got a cab to the hotel and asked the woman at the counter for Rinan’s room number. At first the woman wouldn’t give it up, but she recognized Dan. He took a picture and signed an autograph before the lady finally gave up the room number. He hoped no one would put the pieces together and start more rumors. He made his way up to her room, the adrenaline and courage he had built up was slowly fading. He got to the door of her room, lifted his fist to knock, and hesitated. What if she really wanted nothing to do with him? What if she really didn’t feel anything for him? It seemed impossible for him to have so many feelings for someone and none of them to be reciprocated. She had to feel something for him. Why else would fate give them this chance? He knocked.

Dan waited, and waited. He was about to leave when a groggy, sleepy Rinan opened the door two minutes later. His heart swelled with the sight of her. Her hair was messy, her pyjamas were a little bit tattered, and her sleepy eyes blinked up at him. She looked so damn cute, and every idea Dan had of what to say was gone. The only words that slipped from his mouth were “I think I love you,” so quiet she may not have even heard him.

Rinan stood there in the doorway, her tired eyes now wide with shock. Before Dan could say anything else, the door had been slammed in his face.

“What?” He exclaimed. “Rinan? Come on, let me in. Don’t do this, I know you feel it, too.” He leaned his head on the door, waiting, waiting. He was beginning to think she wasn’t going to let him in after all. But the door opened suddenly, and he fell forward, crashing right into her.

Dan’s arms were around her, steadying both of their balances. His heart was beating right out of his chest, being so close to her. It had been far too long since he had felt her skin on his, smelled her perfume, kissed her lips. So, he did all of those things. He kissed her and kissed her neck, inhaling her smell as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He held her so close he was afraid her thin frame might break, but he just couldn’t get close enough to her. Two months without her had been torture.

[iamn0tdansmith]

The steam had made the room foggy and humid.

Dan acted like he hadn’t heard Rinan enter the bathroom and only acknowledged her as soon as her hands touched his back, soaping up his shoulders. He turned and stepped out of the way so the water would reach her as well. He took in the sight of her, soaking wet and gorgeous. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked, but he knew he didn’t need to. She could tell just by his gaze. Rinan had begun lathering the soap from his chest, to his stomach, to his hips. His breath hitched, his erection growing the lower her hands got. He pushed her back into the wall and kissed her, the hot water pouring down his back. Dan lathered soap onto her body, groping her chest gently but firmly, then doing the same with her bum. She arched into him and he kissed her harder, her body pressing his erection between them both.

           Once they were both clean and wrinkly from the water, the two of them stepped out. Dan wrapped her thin body up in a thick, fluffy towel and dried her off. He then followed her out of the room and kissed her again. He was still hard as rock, wanting her more and more as time went on. Still, he was having so much fun watching her get increasingly impatient with his teasing. Almost instantly, he couldn’t take it anymore. It was like someone flipped a switch inside of him, and he wanted her too badly to keep teasing both of them. Rinan was in his arms, he had lifted her, wrapping her legs around his hips and pushing her back against the wall she had been leaning against moments ago. Her arms draped around his neck, he pulled back ever so slightly and positioned his cock at her lips. Dan rubbed up and down slowly, trying to get the right angle while standing, and finally pushed deeply into her in one long stroke. They both let out a deep moan, Dan biting his lip in the process. His lips crashed into her as her started thrusting in and out of her, pining her against the wall with his weight. His hands were on each other ass cheeks, squeezing her skin tightly. Dan felt her nails digging into the skin of his shoulders but he didn’t mind it one bit. Before long he was no longer satisfied with the momentum. Trying to keep her up against the wall wasn’t difficult, but the angle made it tricky to keep up with the pace he wanted.

           He adjusted his arms to support her better and suddenly he was spinning her around, still inside of her, and brought her over to the bed. He repositioned himself above her, hooking his arm under one of her knees, and started fucking her again, faster than before. He could tell she was getting close as her moans were becoming much louder. Hearing her moan for him only turned him on more, getting closer to orgasm himself. A couple thrusts later and they were coming together. He kissed her before pulling out and removing the used condom. He tossed it into the nearby trashcan and crashed down next to her.

          “That was amazing,” Dan laid on the bed, breathing heavily. He used the bedsheet to wipe the sweat from his forehead and the back of his neck. He had just showered and now he felt about as drenched as he had after the concert earlier. He glanced over at Rinan and smiled at her. She was laying on her side, curled up next to him and watching his face. Her long hair was spread around her head like a halo, her stormy blue eyes glimmering. She was breathtaking. Dan shifted towards her and kissed her again, loving the feeling of her lips on his own.

           After a moment of rest, Rinan stood and started getting her clothes back on. She told him she needed to go back to her own hotel because her flight was in a couple hours. Dan understood, of course, but was disappointed. He didn’t want her to leave. Just like last time, he didn’t know when or if he’d ever see her again.

           “Can I at least walk you home?” He asked. Her smile was soft and subtle as she agreed.

           Dan got dressed as well and he remembered they were still waiting on the room service. He felt a little bad about it, but he called to cancel their order, apologizing for the trouble. Soon, the two were out of his hotel and walking toward Rinan’s. Thankfully it wasn’t very far; a twenty-minute walk according to google maps. On the way, they spotted a 24hr Chipotle.

           “Can we stop here? I’m starving,” Dan’s question was rhetorical, because his increasing hunger would have made him go in and get something to eat regardless of Rinan’s response.

           They stepped inside the deserted restaurant and Dan ordered a burrito for him, and a veggie wrap for Rinan. They sat in the far booth next to the windows, the neon light flickering overhead. There was something about the night that felt surreal. Dan and Rinan talked as they ate; sharing anecdotes about their lives, swapping jokes, telling brief stories about their exes or past flings. They laughed and nearly choked on their food. Dan felt like time had halted in her presence. Like nothing else mattered at that moment. He was amazed by how easily the conversation flowed between the two of them, so much so that it continued even when they had finished their midnight snack and left the restaurant. The couple chatted as they walked along, not another soul insight. With anyone else, Dan would have felt unsettled at the apparent isolation. But with Rinan, he was at ease. They held hands as they walked, only breaking apart for over-the-top hand gestures when describing dramatic stories.

           Ten minutes and more chitchat later, they had arrived at her hotel. Dan didn’t stop there, though. They were in the middle of the age-old debate of who was better: Freddy or Jason? He followed her through the hotel and up the elevator, arguing playfully with Rinan. Even a topic of such little importance was fun and exciting when it was discussed with her. He was so invested in their conversation that it took him a while to notice they had stopped walking. “Oh, are we here?”

           Rinan let out a quiet laugh, which Dan found so adorable. “Yup. This is home, for the night.”

           Dan stepped close to her and sucked in a breath. He wasn’t ready to let her go again. He got lucky; fate brought them together after their first encounter. Maybe he won’t be so lucky, next time. He knew it’d be no use giving her his number again. Her voice floated around his head once more. I don’t believe in relationships. He was about to say goodbye, to kiss her for what could be the last time, when she invited him inside. Predictably, Dan agreed. How could he ever say no to spending more time with this amazing woman?

           Rinan unlocked the room door with her keycard and swung the door open. The man in the room noticed them before they noticed him, sitting in one of the armchairs and reading the magazine Rinan was featured in. Dan recognized him, but couldn’t quite place him.

           “Well, this is awkward.” Alex spoke, his expression was a mix of bemusement and amusement. Dan, not knowing the man enough, couldn’t see the slightest bit of hurt in his eyes that Rinan easily picked up on.

           “Alex, hi,” She said, stretching out the words slowly. It was the first time Dan had ever seen her at a loss for words. She called him Alex, and it clicked in Dan’s mind that he was Alex Turner; the Arctic Monkeys frontman. How did he not realize sooner?

           Alex stood and walked over to them both. He seemed to recognize Dan immediately. “Dan, right? From Bastille?” He put his hand out and shook Dan’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, mate. I love your stuff.”

           Dan stood awkwardly and returned the handshake. “Likewise,” Dan cursed at himself for sounding so lame. He wasn’t great with meeting new people, and all he could think about was how did Alex and Rinan know each other? Why was he waiting in her room?

           “I can tell when I’m third-wheeling, so I’m going to head out.” Alex said, a smirk still playing on his lips. He seemed to pick up on how close together Dan and Rinan were standing. Rinan was about to say something, but he leaned in and kissed her cheek. He moved in between the two of them, heading to the door. “See you next time, love,” was the last thing he said before he let himself out of the room.

           Dan watched as Rinan sank down into the bed and leaned forward, burying her head in her hands for a second. She seemed embarrassed by the whole thing and apologized.

           “No, no, it’s fine.” Dan reassured her, but he wasn’t sure if it was fine. “That was Alex Turner,” he said aloud, more to himself, then to Rinan, “You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to, but why was Alex Turner in your room?”

[iamn0tdansmith]

“Sorry I’m a bit late. I just lost track of time.”

Rinan’s voice was louder than usual as she spoke over the music. Dan smiled at her.

           “I’m just happy you’re here,” he spoke, grinning. He slipped his hand into hers without even thinking about it. It was such a natural act for him at this point. “I’ve got some people I’d like you to meet.”

           Dan led her back to where the band stood backstage. He made quick introductions, knowing that soon it was going to be Bastille’s turn to perform. He was nervous, so incredibly nervous. He felt this way before every show, but Rinan being there both made him feel better and worse at the same time. He felt at ease in her presence and was happy to see her, but he also wanted to impress her and put on an even better show now that she was there. Dan was so off in his own thoughts he didn’t notice his bandmates staring at Rinan until Kyle walked up and hugged her. “So, you’re the girl we’ve been hearing so much about!” He said.

           Dan’s eyes widened at his friend, trying to telepathically tell him to shut up. He was blushing, and he hoped it was dark enough backstage that no one would notice. Kyle seemed to notice, though, and even though it was his fault Dan was blushing in the first place, he still had his best friend’s back. He started talking about something else, making small talk with Rinan by asking her about her career and so on. The five of them chatted while the crew set up the stage for Bastille to go on. Dan wasn’t saying much; he was off in his own world the way he always was before a show. It was how he coped with the nerves, and it was only Rinan’s voice that brought him back to the group.

           All too soon, it was their turn to go on. Dan’s anxiety was at an all time high, but when Rinan told him she was excited to watch, he grinned at her. He suddenly felt a little better and much more confident. The lights were down, and the stage was dark. The band made their way out on stage, the slight glimpses of their shadowy figures causing the crowd to erupt in cheers. Dan found his way to the microphone and started singing, the lights flashing on as soon as his voice was projected through the speakers.

           Bastille played a kick-ass concert, even better than the last, and Dan had a strong suspicion that it was because Rinan was there. Every time he felt the anxiety rising, coming up to drown him, he’d look to the side of the stage and catch her eye. Even in the darkness, he could see the blue-grey of her irises shining through. Seeing her smiling, singing along, clapping for his band meant everything. At the very end, after they played their most popular song, Pompeii, the band ran off stage. Dan joined Rinan’s side, sweaty and slightly out of breath. The adrenaline of performing was still coursing through his veins as he heard the crowd chanting for an encore. They were obviously going to oblige, but being next to Rinan, Dan had an idea. He asked her if she knew My Body by Young the Giant. When she said she did, and asked why, he refused to answer.

           After a couple minutes of rest; a moment to sit down and water consumed, the band ran back out on stage. They greeted the crowd warmly, which was still cheering and clapping their hands. “Now, you have all been so lovely to us tonight, Miami. Before we play our very last song for the night, I’d like to introduce someone very special.” Dan started, looking over at Rinan. The look on her face was hilarious, and he knew she had caught on to what he was doing. “This amazing lady’s new record just came out, and I hope that when you see just how talented she is, you’ll go out and support her by buying her album. I know I did. Everyone, please welcome Rinan!”

           Dan watched as she walked out confidently, smiling brightly and waving at the crowd. He handed her an extra mic and watched her as she spoke to the audience. The music began and the two started singing a perfect duet, harmonizing well together. Their voices played so well off of each other’s and the crowd was going wild. It was such an amazing experience to be performing with this girl. The song came to an end, sooner than Dan would have liked, and with one last thank you to the audience, the band left the stage.

           “That was incredible!” Kyle exclaimed, putting down his instrument. He looked at Rinan. “You should perform with us more often. Is it too late to include her into Bastille?”

           Everyone laughed and took a moment to catch their breath. Dan knew she couldn’t actually join their band, she had just started her solo career, but he did agree that it was an amazing performance, thanks to her. Woody suggested they all go to the bar to celebrate. Dan was beat, and he wanted nothing more than to take a nice, long shower and crash into bed. He knew the others wouldn’t let him, though, but he wasn’t going to go out without a fight. He was about to tell them he wasn’t up for going out when Rinan spoke first. She said that while she was usually never one to turn down a night out, she had also been up since the wee hours of the morning and had to do the same the following day for her flight. “Thanks for this amazing night, guys, but I think I need to head home.”

           The guys produced a chorus of boo’s and disappointed sounds. Dan put his hand on the small of her back. “I think I’m going to head back to the hotel, too. I’m exhausted.” Surprisingly, they didn’t fight him on it.

           The group went their separate ways and Dan took Rinan’s hand, leading her out the back door of the venue to the alley. The night was dark and warm, but the cool breeze was just enough to make them slightly chilly. “When you said you needed to head home, I’m hoping that meant back to my hotel room?” Dan said slyly, leaning into her. He could not get over how incredibly attracted to her he was. It was like no matter what, he would always gravitate to her.

           Her reply made him grin, and he closed the distance between them, planting his lips on hers. It felt like a lifetime since they had last kissed, and he had missed it so much. With Rinan’s driver, it didn’t take long for them to get back to Dan’s hotel. They remained relatively tame on the way up to the room, making effortless conversation and getting to know each other further. At this point, Dan liked everything he knew about her. She loved animals, her favorite being a bear. Music had always been her biggest passion, just like him. She was shamelessly addicted to caffeine and was anti-pineapple on pizza.

           “Are you hungry?” He asked her when they got to his room. “I can order us some food. What do you feel like?”

           “Actually, yeah. I’ll have a -insert meal here-, thanks, Dan.” He loved the sound of his name in her mouth. He called for the room service, and they warned it might be a while due to a large amount of orders.

           “Guess I have time for a shower, then. Do you mind?” Dan asked. He hated feeling sweaty and damp from a concert, it always made him self-conscious about possible body odor. He also didn’t want to be a bad host and let Rinan get bored. “I’ll only be a few minutes, really.”

           When she told him she didn’t mind, he walked over and gave her a peck on the cheek. Then a kiss on the lips. Then his arms were around her and he was kissing her deeply. As soon as he was near her, he just couldn’t get enough. He managed to pull himself away and went to the bathroom, making sure not to lock the door behind him. Dan didn’t know what he was expecting, but just in case. He stripped from his sweaty clothes and turned the water of the large, stand-alone shower on. He stepped in, relishing in the warm water on his skin. He lathered his messy hair with shampoo and rinsed it off, which only took him two minutes at best. By the time he started soaping up his fit body, he heard the bathroom door open…

[iamn0tdansmith]

[iamn0tdansmith]

The coffee shop was bustling with people chattering loudly.

 Dan stared at Rinan when she told him she travelled for business. He tried not to reveal anything with his facial expression. She had no idea he knew what she did, and he had no idea why she didn’t want to just tell him. He gave her a chance to elaborate, an almost-awkward, long chance to speak more but she didn’t. “Well, I’m here on business, too.” He said finally, putting his hands in his pockets. He did his best to try and avoid her seeing the bag he was holding, the bag with her album in it. He also wanted to ask her why she hadn’t called him, but he didn’t want to come off like a whiny, entitled child.

The two moved out of the way for some lady and suddenly they were so close together. He wanted to kiss her so badly, he missed her lips. He pulled her a little closer by the waist and he smiled when she let him. He wanted to kiss her, but he wanted to tease her a little bit. Get back at her for not giving him the whole truth. “You look so beautiful right now,” he said softly, leaning in just slightly more. “Even more beautiful than on that Rolling Stone cover.”

Her reaction was so worth it. She pushed him and he laughed. He raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘yeah, I know what you do.’ He began to guide her back out of the hallway. “Come on, babe, we’ve left my tea behind.” Calling her ‘babe’ just felt right. He wanted her to be his babe. As expected, his tea was long gone. Either by a thief or because of an employee cleaning up. Damn. “What a waste,” Dan mumbled.

Rinan pulled him toward the line. “Come on, the queue’s down, I’ll get you another.” Her hand was in his and he squeezed. He called her sweet and they each ordered their drinks.

“Next time, it’s my turn to pay.” He said, emphasizing on the ‘next time’. He wanted there to be a next time more than anything. He wanted to keep seeing her.

They sat at a corner table and chatted. She told him about her work, and Dan listened intently. All other noises were drowned out but the sound of her voice. She seemed nervous, unsure of herself. It looked so out of character for her. Dan lifted the bag and pulled out her album. “Look, you’re already a success. You’ve already sold an album,” he said reassuringly, taking her hand and squeezing it. The expression on her face was priceless, and it made his heart soar. It wasn’t much, but he knew he had made her feel a bit better. That meant everything to him.

Sooner than he wanted, they both needed to go their separate ways. She had a radio interview to go to, and Dan had to get back to the hotel before his bandmates freaked about him going MIA again. Without a second thought, he invited her to Bastille’s concert that night when she told him she was leaving in the morning. He wanted to spend more time with her, but they each had their own responsibilities. He couldn’t ask her to throw away an opportunity just for him.

“I’ll see you tonight, then,” she said to him, and he grinned. He wanted to pull her in and kiss her, but she was already gone.

Dan was back at the hotel, sitting in Kyle’s room. Two of his mates were playing on the Switch they brought along. Dan was on his laptop, trying to find the radio interview Rinan was about to do. He finally found it and turned the volume up on his laptop. The interview had just started, and Dan tuned in in time to hear the radio host ask if she and Alex Turner were an item. Dan’s heart sank, but he perked up a bit as soon as Rinan replied. “Oh no, no, no.” She said. “I don’t believe in relationships.” Dan’s heart sank, again. He could tell Kyle was listening as well, but he was watching Dan intently, gauging his responses. He avoided Kyle’s eyes and stared at the screen, though there wasn’t a video to go along with it. Alex had added that she was just too busy for a relationship, but Dan didn’t believe it. Something in her voice when she said that sounded so final, so true. The radio hosts probably didn’t pick up on it, but he did.

The interview went on with mundane questions about her work and her album and so on. It was nice to hear her speak about it again, this time to a wider audience. Then it was time for her to perform her song, and Dan snapped at his bandmates to turn down the TV. He wanted to hear her singing for the first time clearly and without interruption. Rinan sang her song on the radio, the hidden track from her album, and Dan fell in love. If he wasn’t already, hearing her sing made him fall flat on his face for her. She had the most beautiful voice he had ever heard, and she was singing the most beautiful lyrics. Dan couldn’t fathom the talent this girl had, and how she had stayed hidden behind other artists for far too long. Dan was so happy to have bought her album at that moment. It was well worth the money, and he would have paid so much more.

Her song was over, and the interview had ended, and Dan stayed sat on the couch, computer on his lap, staring at the unmoving screen. His bandmates praised Rinan, clearly impressed with her talent as well, but all that was going through Dan’s mind were her words. I don’t believe in relationships. How could she have felt what he felt about her and not believe in relationships? He knew it wasn’t easy; he was a musician, too. He travelled just as much, did gigs and interviews and photoshoots and music videos. He knew what that was like, and he hated it, but he did it anyway. He was grateful for his success, but he would have been happy back home, making his music with his band just for themselves. He knew it was hard to maintain relationships with the lifestyle he and Rinan both had. It just didn’t seem fair. Dan wondered if she would even show up to the concert.

“You alright, mate?” Kyle asked from the bed.

Dan snapped out of it. “Yeah, why?”

“You’ve been sitting on that couch, doing nothin’ for twenty minutes.”

He looked at the time. It had been twenty minutes since the interview was over. Dan hadn’t noticed the time pass. They needed to start getting ready for the gig. It was a blur, getting ready. Dan showered and put on some black skinny jeans. He found a graphic t-shirt with a bear on it and wore it. It reminded him of Rinan and her album cover. He slipped on a thin, black windbreaker and pushed the sleeves up. Before he realized it, it was late, and he was back stage with the bandmates, listening to one of the bands opening for them. Rinan still hadn’t showed. Dan was beginning to lose hope when security approached him, saying someone was at the back door asking for him. His heart started beating hard. Was it her? He followed the guard further to the back of the venue and there she was. She smiled at him, her face lighting up, and suddenly Dan was himself again. He felt present, and real, and he was so glad to see her.

[iamn0tdansmith]

[iamn0tdansmith]

It had been one week, four parties, three concerts, and five stops since he had last seen her.

Rinan. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, about their night together, about how he hadn’t heard from her. He had left her his number. Why hadn’t she called? Or at least texted? He refused to believe that she hadn’t felt what he felt that night. But then again, maybe she didn’t feel the same way. Maybe he didn’t rock her world as much as she rocked his. Dan could not stop obsessing over this girl. He only knew her first name, and even if it was a unique name, it’s not like he could just look her up and find her number. It couldn’t be that easy.

           “Dan. Earth to Dan, hellooo?” Kyle waved his hand in front of Dan’s face, bringing him back from his thoughts.

           “Yeah, what?” He replied, glancing around. They were still on their tour bus, but it had stopped.

           Kyle stood and started walking to the door. “We’re here. Miami. We’ve got a show tonight, let’s go.”

           Dan followed them out mindlessly. He had told his bandmates all about the magical girl. They’d teased him relentlessly about his crush for a while, but it got old pretty fast. The bandmates could tell it was more than just a silly crush, and while it hadn’t been affecting his performances, it was clearly affecting his attitude. For a week, Dan was off in a world of his own. He tried to be more present, to join his friends in the fun of this tour, but without fail his thoughts always drifted off to her. He thought about the smell of her perfume, about her soft hair in his fingers, her smooth skin under his palms, her rosy lips against his cheek, the sway in her hips as she danced.

           The band stepped out of the parking garage they were renting for their bus and walked down the street to the hotel they were staying at for the next two nights. On the way, they walked past a newsstand. A cover in particular caught Dan’s eye. He stopped abruptly, causing Chris to crash into him. “Ay, mate, what’s the matter with you?” He exclaimed.

           “It’s her,” Dan said softly. “This is the girl, it’s her.” He held up the Rolling Stone magazine. The whole band was paying attention now and met him back at the stand.

           On the cover, Rinan was sitting nude in what looked like a recording studio, on a piano bench, surrounded by various instruments. Her legs were crossed and the guitar she held in front of her was the only thing hiding her chest. She looked deeply into the camera, her deep blue eyes seemed to stare right past through the cover and into Dan’s eyes. The same way she looked at him that night. Her long dark hair was draped over her shoulder, perfectly coiffed to look lovely and effortless. She looked so beautiful. The cover story title read: RINAN – SONGWRITER TO THE STARS RELEASES HER OWN BREAKTHROUGH STUDIO ALBUM.

           “Are you joking?” Kyle asked, peering over Dan’s shoulder. “That’s her? Seriously?”

           “Well done, mate,” Chris added, smacking him on the back.

           Dan ignored them, flipping through the magazine to the pages of her story. The owner of the newsstand glared at them. “You read it, you buy it, man.” He snapped. Dan pulled out a few American dollars he had in his pocket and put them down on the counter. It was probably more than the magazine actually cost, but he didn’t care. He continued walking toward the hotel with his bandmates, head down and reading the article about this amazing girl.

           The basic gist was talking about how for years she wrote hit songs for popular artists, artists much more famous than Bastille, and how she had been meticulously working on her first studio album for over a year. She had been travelling all over to work with the best artists and producers so that each of her songs perfect and unique, all the while still writing chart-topping hits for other musicians. Dan was completely floored. He read parts of the article aloud to his bandmates and even they were beyond impressed. How had this amazing woman slipped through his fingers? In the interview, Rinan talked about how she got to travel to London, to Spain, Germany, Canada, Australia, Japan. Seriously, everywhere. She talked about how lucky she was that seeing these places was part of her work. She talked about all the interesting people she met. In the article there was a question about her family, if she missed them, but her answer was super vague.

           The band arrived at the hotel and got some lunch. Dan rolled up the magazine and tucked it into the pocket of his jean jacket. He sat down with the band in the hotel dining room to eat. He couldn’t taste his food, he was so completely shell-shocked by the information in the magazine. The whole thing just made him want to see her again even more, he wanted to get to know her.

           The next hour went by with a blur. The band finished their lunch, they dragged their luggage up to each of their rooms and settled in. Dan found himself pulling out the magazine and rereading the article. Mostly, he looked at the pictures of Rinan. She photographed beautifully. Dan wondered if she was thinking about him as much as he was thinking of her. Probably not, she had been extremely busy this whole time. Her album was dropping today, Dan decided he wanted to go pick it up. He looked up the closest CD store on his phone and threw his jacket back on. He popped into Kyle’s room to let him know he’d be back later and left the hotel.

           The store was a longer walk than he thought, and it had started raining. Dan was glad he had his jacket on despite the humid Miami heat. The clouds darkened overhead, the afternoon sun’s rays fighting to poke through. As soon as Dan walked into the store, he saw Rinan’s album right there in front of him, in the new releases. The album art was the Ursa Major constellation. Dan couldn’t think of anything that suited her more. He grabbed it without a second thought and made a b-line to the cash register.

           While waiting in line, someone tapped his arm. Dan turned to see a young girl with her older sister, both looking at him excitedly. “You’re Dan! F-from Bastille,” the younger one said. “Can we get a picture?”

           Dan knew he would never get used to being recognized. He didn’t enjoy it, but he always did his best to make his fans happy. “Of course,” he replied, posing for a quick photo. The girls thanked him and left, and Dan was glad they weren’t the overbearing type to try and make conversation.

Finally, he paid for the album and left the store. On the way back to the hotel, he decided to stop at the Starbucks he passed by earlier. He got himself a large tea, hoping no one would recognize him again. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone, he was just eager to get back and listen to Rinan’s music. While stirring in some milk and sugar into his drink, someone walked past him. He smelled her perfume, first, and he turned to see her hair as she walked toward the end of the line. There was a wide-rimmed hat perched at the back of her head and hiding her face, but he knew it was her, it couldn’t be anyone else. His heart started to beat furiously as he approached her, leaving his tea behind on the counter. He touched her bare elbow softly and spoke quietly. “Rinan?”

She spun on the heel of her boots and faced him. The look of shock on her face made Dan laugh out loud. “It is you,” he said, a bit louder. He didn’t realize he was drawing attention to them both, but Rinan seemed to. He felt her pull the sleeve of his jacket toward the back of the coffee shop in the hallway leading to the restrooms. They both spoke at the same time, for the second time in a week. “What are you doing here?”