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Character Crush of the Day: Jess Katsopolis

Have Mercy

You guys, Uncle Jesse was my very first character crush… ah, the memories. 

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Cabin Fever

Jesse Katsopolis x Reader

Words: 1853

Summary: The Tanner’s are on vacation at a Ski Lodge in the mountains. Everything is fine until a snowstorm traps the family in their cabin. When Jesse’s wife, the reader, starts acting strangely, the rest of the family is determined to find out what the problem is. 

Notes: All the Full House things!

-

You fell back against the bathroom wall, breathing heavily. While the rest of the family spent the morning getting breakfast at the main lodge, you’d spent it with your head in a toilet. You’d told Jesse that you had a headache, but soon it would be harder to hide the morning sickness. You still hadn’t told anyone that you were pregnant. 

It’s not that you weren’t happy. You were over the moon to be having a baby. The problem was that you had no idea how your husband would react. Jesse was finally at a good place with his band and a fussing baby didn’t exactly warrant rock and roll. You’d barely even been married for a year and now everything was going to change. How could you tell him?

“Aunt Y/N, we’re back!” DJ greeted, stomping the snow off her boots. You quickly washed off and put on your family-friendly smile as the rest of your nieces came inside. 

“I brought you a muffin.” Stephanie grinned, handing you a muffin that had several chunks missing. She smiled sheepishly. “It looked really good.” 

“Hey babe,” Jesse put an arm around your shoulders and kissed your cheek. “How are you feeling?” You convinced him with a smile. 

“Better.” You ignored the churning in your stomach and the family decided to play Go-Fish around the fireplace. Of course, Michelle tended to cheat, hiding cards behind her back, but none of you said anything. The cabin phone rang and Danny went to answer it. 

“So at breakfast, I met this boy- total babe- and he made me a cup of hot chocolate.” DJ gushed. 

“Must be love.” You laughed, taking her queen of spades. Danny came back with a grim look. 

“That was the main cabin,” He began, “due to the snowstorm moving in, all of the roads out of the park are closed. And they advise everyone to stay in their cabins until the storm blows over.” The girls definitely weren’t disturbed by the news. In fact, they were excited to get to stay for another few days. But you just felt even sicker. How many days could you hide when everyone was stuck in that cabin together? 

-

The rest of the morning continued without any spells of illness. You just felt awful about keeping something so important a secret. You had to figure out how to tell him. Jesse hummed to himself as you lay on the bed, reading one of the books you found in the cabin bookshelf. He drummed his fingers on the window sill, watching the snow wildly blow through the air. 

Keep reading

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ARE THERE ANY JOHN STAMOS X READERS (OR CHARACTERS HE HAS PLAYED X READERS?)

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my new therapy: watching Full House to swoon over Uncle Jesse 🥰

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Uncle Jesse x fem reader!!!

where one night he plays a gig at a bar with his band and during a few songs he sings, they lock eyes and he’s really interested in her, so during his break he goes and talks to her and they hit it off. She invites him back to her place and things get a little steamy until her shirt rides up a bit and he sees bruises on her torso. (Insert protective Jesse!!) (tw abuse.) maybe you could use the line “the last guy was a little rough.” But Jesse knows those aren’t those kinds of bruises and that someone later their hands on her

Season 3/4 era

Sounds Good To Me

Fandom: Full House

Pairing: Jesse Katsopolis x Female Reader 

Characters: Jesse Katsopolis, Female Reader

Word Count: 1363 // Rating: Mature

Summary: Reader and Jesse get off to a good start until her past makes an unpleasant appearance 

Tags/ Warnings: Kissing, Requested Fic, Request, One Night Stand, Abuse, Physical Abuse, Physical Injuries, Bruising, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence, Angst, Protective Jesse, Jesse and The Rippers, Uncle Jesse, Set around Season 3/4

Notes: Here ya go @americaarse Hope you like it.

Just a memo other requests might be slow as I'm busy next week and this weekend. I'm going to be doing EP fics for his birthday so I'll be ignoring my inbox till they're done lmao

‘We’ve been Jesse and the Rippers! Thanks for coming out,’ Jesse said as a wave of cheers and applause rippled around the club. He left the stage and headed to the small dressing room the venue owner provided for them. It had been a good show. The crowd liked their material and they’d even managed to sell a good deal of CDs. But that hadn’t been the highlight of his night. No, the highlight of Jesse’s night had been the cute girl who’d been watching him throughout. She didn’t seem to be a fan of theirs, but rather someone who had attended the club they just happened to be playing at, but she couldn’t take her eyes off him. And Jesse loved that. As the band packed up their stuff he headed out into the bar to get himself a drink.

He was standing at the bar, waiting to be served, when he felt someone appear beside him and turned to find the girl from before. She glanced at him and smiled. 

‘Hey,’ Jesse said.

‘Hey,’ she said with a soft smile, ‘great set. You guys are really cool.

‘We like to think so,’ he chuckled. 

‘I mean it. I wasn’t even gonna come out tonight but I’m glad I did,’ she said. 

‘Well how about I make your night a little better,’ he said. 

‘Oh yeah?’ she smirked, ‘how are you gonna do that?’ 

‘Well I’ll start by buying you a drink,’ he said with a smirk.

‘Sounds good to me,’ she smiled.

The guys had decided not to stay after the gig but Jesse didn’t much care. He was having a good time without them. He and Y/N had spent hours tucked away in a booth at the back of the club. She was a nice girl. Sweet, funny and smokin’ hot, just Jesse’s type. As the night wore on and the drinks flowed he found himself losing the thread of the conversation as he started getting distracted by her. The way she moved her hair out of her eyes. The way she smiled when she told him something funny. The way her lips formed a perfect pout as if begging for him to kiss her. She was telling him a story, enraptured in the tale, but he had no clue what was going on. He wanted to kiss her. Badly. 

She seemed to catch him staring and blushed, ‘what?’ she asked after a moment. Jesse didn’t say anything, instead, he leaned in and placed his hand on her cheek before he kissed her tenderly. She tensed for a moment and then melted into it allowing him to continue. He pulled her to him and rolled his tongue against her lip as if asking her to go further. She responded and soon enough they were making out. When she finally pulled back Jesse watched her carefully. She was smiling, though a little shy, and said, ‘wanna take this back to my place?’ 

‘Absolutely,’ he said. 

They left pretty sharpish after that, taking a cab to her apartment. Jesse figured it would probably be better than taking her home and having to explain why kids' toys littered every room in his house. Or having to explain to Joey and Danny who she was and why she was there. They were barely out of the cab before they were back on one another kissing one another as if their life depended on it. She forced them to break away so they could walk up to her apartment, though Jesse couldn’t help but come up behind her as she unlocked her door, kissing down her neck as his hands caressed her sides. 

Once they were inside they were back together trying to make their way to the bedroom without breaking apart for too long. His lips were everywhere, nipping and sucking along her neck as he pushed her jacket off her shoulders. As they got into the bedroom Jesse pulled his shirt off, watching as she climbed onto the bed, lying down and watching him with an inviting smile. 

‘Come here,’ she said beckoning him to her. Jesse didn't have to be told twice. He was on her in a shot, hovering over her as their lips reconnected. He made his way down her neck, his fingers tracing along the hem of her shirt before he hiked it up. She moved up so she could pull it off but as she did he noticed something. 

Across her stomach were deep purple bruises, tinged with green around the edges where they’d started to heal. He stopped in his tracks and so did she, noticing him staring at her. She could see what he was seeing and nervously pulled her t-shirt down so they were no longer on show. 

‘It’s fine,’ she said.

‘Those bruises-’

‘Aren’t a big deal,’ she said going to kiss him again but he pulled back until he was sitting up on the bed. She moved to sit up properly.

‘How did you…’ he said, trailing off mid-sentence. He had his own ideas. None of them good. 

‘Let’s just say the last guy was a little rough,’ she said quietly. Jesse felt rage flow through him. He hated bullies. No matter the context. Those who used their fists to get their point across rather than their words. They made him sick. And he didn’t know how anyone could lay a finger on her. They’d only known each other mere hours but it was clear to him how special she was. 

‘It’s fine,’ she said placing a hand on his knee, ‘and it doesn't have to ruin anything between us. I mean if the bruises bother you I’ll keep my shirt on.’

‘Bother me?’ Jesse baulked loudly making her wince, ‘sorry. Honey, I’m not bothered by them. Well the look of them anyway. I’m bothered by the person who did this to you. They shouldn’t be able to get away with this.’

‘It’s not a big deal,’ she said self-consciously. 

‘Yes it is,’ he said as he placed his hand on her knee, ‘you’re a great girl. And whoever this guy is he didn’t deserve you. He doesn’t deserve any woman.’

‘I know that,’ she said quietly. Jesse could see something behind her expression as if she wanted to say something but she was holding herself back whether in fear of him judging her or admitting to whatever it was. 

‘But?’ he said gently. She looked up at him panic-stricken, ‘you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.’ 

‘No it's okay,’ she said, ‘it’s just…I know it’s wrong. I know I shouldn’t let him in but he talks me around. Every time I tell him it’s done and every time he lures me back in until something like this happens. Then it’s like I see sense. You must think I’m really stupid.

‘I don't think you're stupid. Guys like that are just good at getting their way. They know all the cards to play to make you trust them again. It doesn't mean you're stupid for believing they might be a decent human for once,’ he said. Y/N nodded. 

They sat in silence for a moment and she looked up at him with a meek smile as she said, ‘I bet this wasn’t the night you were planning on huh?’

‘Eh,’ he shrugged, ‘I had a good gig, a few drinks and I got to hang out with a pretty girl. I can’t complain.’ 

‘Still a bit of a mood killer though,’ she said. 

‘Maybe,’ he said, ‘but maybe it just gives us a chance to take another run at this whole first date thing.’

‘You wanna go on a date?’ she said.

‘Well, we did take this thing at a hundred miles an hour. Maybe we just need to slow down a little bit,’ he said with a smile. 

‘Sounds good to me,’ she replied.

‘Though,’ Jesse said, clearing his throat, ‘I’m still hoping for something.’

‘What’s that?’ she said in a whisper. 

‘That I can keep kissing you,’ he said, ‘just for a little while longer.’

‘Like I said. Sounds good to me,’ she replied.

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#those eyebrows 

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SEBASTIAN STAN DUMB MONEY (2023)

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All I'll Ever Need

Pairing: Bull Rider!Bucky x Reader

Warnings: None.

Author's Note: I've been in my cowboy, bullrider funk and I needed this out! I hope you all enjoy this piece, as always happy reading! Now back to my dark cave, I go.

It’s a high live event tonight, the grounds large enough for not only the main attraction bull riding, but the other rodeo sports being held this evening. You work your way through the crowd, the boy on your hip wiggling around in hopes to get higher to spot his father over the large crowd. You hike the brown haired, grey-eyed boy higher on your hip, the excitement coursing through his tiny body as you cross the arena grounds. Natasha and Wanda had texted you minutes prior after having parked the truck that they had just barely managed to secure the four of you good seats in the stands overlooking the ground.

Squeezing your way through the masses your feet meet the stands wooden stairs, you climb them carefully till your standing on the landing looking left then right as you look for your group. “Look!” Your attention is directed by the six-year-old over to the farthest corner on the right, Wanda and Natasha waving at the two of you wildly with their hats, Bucky standing tall behind them on the iron gates.

Grant snatches the hat that matches his dad’s off his head, waving it around just as wildly as his aunts. A sharp whistle pierces the air the boy’s eyes snapping past the awaiting women to the matching pair of cerulean blue waiting for him, how he hadn’t seen his father yet surprises you, but the boy becomes a bucking bronco in your hold till you’re releasing him from your grip. His form slips from your body as he runs through the stands to where his father awaits perched.

You chase after him, excusing yourself past the other patrons already in their seats. Natasha waits for the tiny brunette who is feet ahead of you with open arms, his body falling into his aunts hold as she hoists him high, his hat surpassing the both of them as he lets out a squeal of joy. He reaches for his father next, who takes him in even stronger arms squeezing his son to his broad chest.

You nearly falter in your steps at the sight, your heart racing, body warming at the sight before you. The bond the two shared was unlike any other you had experienced. Bucky Barnes had a hard time believing he could be the father his son needed when his mother just up and left two months into Grants first year of life, but he had proven himself wrong time and time again. There’s amazement in Grants eyes and love in Buckys as he explains to his son all about the ongoing events.

You close the distance saddling up next to Natasha as you hear Bucky’s promise to Grant to take him riding for the first time this week that he had off. “I’m all your’s bud, whaddya say? Uncle Steve and Sam can help too, aunt Wanda and Natasha can bring your favorite snacks.”

“Can y/n come too daddy, can she!” Bucky’s eyes find yours, pink lips curling into a breathtaking smile. “Of course she can bud,” he replies eyes never leaving yours, “that’s of course if she wants, think she might need a break from us boys bud, you’ve get her chasing you all day.”

Your lips curl in return, “I haven’t missed one of his firsts yet Barnes, don’t plan on doing so anytime soon. You can count me in, besides there’s no one I love to chase more.” A squeal of joy erupts from the smaller long-haired brunette and you’re just barely moving forward to catch his form as he jumps at you, his hat knocking yours clean off your head. Small but mighty arms wrap around your neck, his round cheeks smushing against yours as he thanks you profusely, promising you bouts of fun. Bouts of fun that you knew no matter what would be delivered. You’d spend the rest of your days with the Barnes boys if life itself allowed it.

The world melts away in the hug, your focus solely on the boy in your arms as you squeeze him just as tightly to you. “You going to show your dad how it’s done, how the real cowboys ride?” you question in a teasing tone as you pull back to look at the boy. The excitement he lets out draws a laugh from your group, “he’s going to be a hell of a lot better than I am that’s for sure.” Bucky chuckles, your eyes find his, “If he is, it’s only because he has a pretty awesome father to thank, give yourself credit B, you’re doing an amazing job with little man here.”

You don’t think you’ll ever tire catching the moments Bucky goes bashful under your gaze, the only sign that the man before you could feel the same, well as for what your friend's turned family all say. The brunette goes to reply but Steve is calling for him over his shoulder; his turn was coming around. You wave at the bearded dirty-blonde, grant following suit the hat coming too as he waves it around. You move forward into Bucky’s space to say your goodbye’s, grants arms going around his father as he gives him a tight squeeze. When the two pull away you fall in next, your arm that isn’t holding grant going around Bucky’s back, “you better be safe out there B,” you murmur into his ear, “you’ve got a little one that’s going to be watching your every move.” His chuckle rumbles deep within his chest, fingers curling tighter into your skin as he squeezes you much like his son, “is he the only one that’s going to be watching me ride tonight?”

The pinch you deliver to Bucky’s back has the broad-shouldered brunette pulling back that same chuckle bubbling out of his chest this time. “don’t be a smart-ass B, I’m being serious be safe out there.” His hand finds yours fingers curling with your own, lips meeting your intertwined fingers, “riding bulls is in my blood sweetheart you know I’ll be careful.”

“James Buchanan Barnes I’m being serious.”

His grin is heart melting as he pulls you and Grant back in, squeezing the two of you before placing a kiss to the side of your head. “I promise, I’m coming out of those gates to you.” His words stall your heart, but you tell yourself he’s not coming for you, he’s coming for the son you hold, his boy, his whole world. You let him go with Grant yelling for his dad to be careful, Bucky sends him a wave over his shoulder as he moves over to the gates Steve and Sam wait for him by. You take your seat between Natasha and Wanda settling Grant on your legs as you let him watch the current rider burst through the farthest Gate. Grant is lost in the show, his eyes bright as he watches the rider hold strong to the bull.

“Don’t know how much more proof you need.” Your eyes flit over to the blonde sitting next to you, “proof?” you question. A smile pulls at the corners of her mouth, “yeah, proof to see that that man by those gates is just as taken with you as you are with him.” You snort eyes gliding over to said man that stands at the farthest bucking chute awaiting his turn. There’s a snorting angry bull just below him, but his eyes are on you, your retort gets stuck on your tongue. Steve’s passing him his protective headgear an exchange for the hat he wore on his head. He sends you a final wink before placing the helmet on and falling over the bull who only bucks harder with his added weight.

Your heart races away in your chest as you watch him get into position, one hand going just above his head as the other laces its way around the rope tied to the bull. A buzzer goes off somewhere in the air, the gate slams open the bull racing out. Grants high on his feet as he watches his dad, fingers curled around the railing as he watches. You didn’t even notice the boy crawl off your lap your own breath caught in your throat as you watch that bull buck for his life to get Bucky off of him. Just 8 seconds you think as you push to your feet standing behind grant, just 8 seconds, hold on, hold on, hold on....

The air is electric as the buzzer goes off, patrons flying from seats to cheer Bucky on just as he falls from the bull, the clowns running in to get him out. Grant can hardly wait to get to his father once he’s getting out of the main arena. He’s grabbing your hand pulling, barely giving you a chance to tell the girls where you’re going, though they already know.

You follow the brown-haired boy as he tugs your through the stands, getting you two down on the ground before racing his way to where he knows he’ll find his dad and uncles. The crowd on the dirt ground clears, Grant seeing Bucky ways ahead laughing with his uncles. His hand falls away from yours the boy barreling with all his might towards the three men his fathers names falling from his lips to grab his attention. The three men turn to the barreling boy, Bucky moving forward to meet his boy halfway.

You slow your steps watching the two reunite Bucky lifting Grant in the air as he pulls his son in. Natasha and Wanda catch up to you, linking their arms with yours as they pull you forward. Steve and Sam move also, your group, your family moving closer as you close the distance. Hugs are shared as you finally greet Sam and Steve, “good to see you sweetheart!” Steve greets as he pulls you in for a hug

You pinch Steve in the ribs as if you hadn’t seen him earlier in the morning when you went to help Bucky with a still sleeping Grant. “You saw me this morning Steve,” you laugh, “it’s good to see you too though.”

“Move it over Rogers, favorite coming through,” Sam says as he pulls the bearded blonde coming in for a hug of his own. A wet kiss is pressed to your cheek, “Sammy,” you breathe squeezing the man just as tight, “always so good to see you!” Sam's grinning, "see," he tells the group, "favorite." Wanda moves in when you pull away her lips finding Sam's, "everyone knows Grant is y/n's favorite," she laughs as she pulls away, "but you're mine." Your group coo's at the two, Steve holding Nat under his arm, Sam holding Wanda, "Grant's not the only Barnes that y/n favors," Natasha grins.

You want to roll your eyes at her attempt, but the strong arm falling over your shoulder has you biting your tongue. You look over at the bearded brunette who's already looking right back at you, holding the bright boy who holds your heart, "good thing she's our favorite too." You could out yourself now to the man holding you protectively under his arm but you bite your tongue instead leaning further into his touch. His lips find the side of your head, "we should go catch the rest of the rides," Steve mentions, "we've gotta go check the trailers locked though," Bucky answers.

"Why don't you and y/n go check," Natasha offers, already moving forward to grab Grant, "we'll stop at the concessions first, save y’all a seat." They leave you no space for argument as Natasha urges your group to go, "see you in a bit," she calls over her shoulder, "take all the time you need!"

You inwardly groan at their antics, Bucky chuckles pulling you with him, "C'mon sweetheart, let's go check that trailer." You let him whisk you along the arena grounds, the feeling of being under his arm all consuming, it felt right, it felt like the two of you belonged, though there was never a moment in the years that you've know Bucky that being with him didn't feel right.

Then why couldn't it have been you?

Why her?

"You know," Bucky starts suddenly as he turns you towards the lot that holds the trailers, "you really are our favorite." You glance up at him smile on your lips as you continue to walk further into the lot, "that so B?"

He nods, the corner of his mouth ticking up in a smile, "how could you not be," he answers, "know you almost my whole life, you've stuck with me through it all even those moments you didn't need to, seen me at my worst and never thought to hell with this and walked away from me because nothing was tying you to me. If anything you grabbed my hand held tight and dragged me from the fire and Grant, god with Grant - I - I could never express how grateful I am for you, you took up a responsibility you didn't ask for, helped me raise a boy that wasn't yours. You never gave up on us."

You're glad you've come up to his trailer because his words have you halting in your step, your body stopping his from going any further. You turn to face him, "And I would do it all over if I had to," you respond with conviction, "you, Grant, you both mean the world to me. There's nothing you could ask of me that I wouldn't do for you. For either of you. You've been my best friend for years, stood with me as well when I needed you." He shakes his head the two of you knowing that statement isn't all true especially when Dolores had been in the picture, but you couldn't bring yourself to blame him, not now, not then. He was in love, and he thought she was too. He thought she was the one, you all did.

"I could have been better to you, after all you've done for me, for us."

You're shaking your head in return, your hand coming up to rest against his stubbled cheek. An act you've done before that feels so different now. "You were what I needed when I needed you to be B, I was in no position to ask more of you. All I knew was that when the time came I wanted to return that favor, I wanted to be what you needed." It falls silent between the two of you, eyes locked on one another in a gaze that you aren't sure you'd ever say Bucky Barnes would look at you with.

Strong warm hands come up to cup your cheeks, your breath is stolen in a moment. "Sweetheart - you're all I ever needed, I just didn't think I deserved someone like you, but the more time I spend with you, the more time I see you with Grant - I want to be that someone, I don't want to waste anymore time just being your friend."

You've lost count of how often Bucky has left you speechless, so you do what you've only ever dreamed of doing. Curling your fingers into the lapels of his shirt, you tug him closer, your lips finding his in an all-consuming kiss.

You didn't want to waste any more time either.

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ENDINGS, BEGINNINGS

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Little games

Gamer! Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: you really need to calm down, so you get under Bucky's table while he's playing with his friends.

Words count: 1.4k

Warnings: smut, established relationship, college gamer bucky, blow job, come eating, pet names

Author’s note: even though originally I posted it back in August, I might as well publish it now as a part of the kinktober. enjoy and let me know what you think🩷

It was a long fucking day with too many stupid people that just played on your nerves. You were supposed to study at the library for your exam, but instead you were arguing with people who didn’t know how to properly behave in public places and talk to others

Almost an hour later, your blood was still boiling with anger, and you came to your and Bucky’s apartment, carelessly throwing your bag on the floor and kicking off your shoes. You needed to punch someone, scream, take a hot shower, or just have really good sex. And you knew someone who could help you with the last one. 

You walked into Bucky’s playing room; it was a little bit dark with a few neon lights turned on. He was sitting there with headphones, without a shirt, and only in black shorts. The camera was off; he was just playing with his friends, but he was too fucking hot for his own good.

The urge to climb on Bucky right in his playing chair hit you like lightning. You walked closer, wrapping your hands around his neck from the back and sliding them lower down his firm chest.

“Hey, baby doll.” He pushed back the microphone, giving you a quick look but then going back to his stupid game. You deeply inhaled as another wave of annoyance ran through your body because you didn’t get the attention you wanted. 

“Buck… I’m really angry right now, and I need you.” You mumbled against the hot skin of his neck. 

“Gimme like... ten minutes, doll, ‘kay? I have to finish this, or we’re gonna lose. Love you.” Bucky, not looking away from the monitor, placed a kiss on your cheek, and you heard a muffled sound of Steve’s or Sam’s voice in the headphones. “No-no, it’s nothing—on your back!” Bucky suddenly screamed into the microphone as his body moved forward. 

You rolled your eyes, knowing damn well that this is not for “ten minutes”. You didn’t mind him having such a hobby, but at times like this, you just wanted to throw everything in the trash because it was really hard to get Bucky’s attention during the games. It was obvious that if you wanted to cool down, you needed to take everything in your hands. Well, quite literally.

You stepped to the side of Bucky’s chair before dropping to your knees and getting under his table in well-trained motions. It's not like you haven’t done it before. He probably didn’t even notice it because when you quickly put your hand on his crotch, he jumped in surprise and looked at you with his big baby-blue eyes. 

“What are you doing?!” He whispered so his friends couldn’t hear him.

“I am fucking mad, James, and since you don't want to fuck it out of me, I’ll do everything by myself.” You hissed, dragging his shorts down enough to reveal his semi-hard cock. 

Bucky’s eyes rolled back as soon as your soft hand wrapped around him, and he felt that he became hard almost immediately. Usually, he didn’t miss a single chance to get his hands on you. Bucky was quite literally obsessed with you, and he was ready to have sex with you everywhere and every time, but right now he was in the middle of the game with his friends, who might hear everything. 

His body became hot within a second. His hips unconsciously jerked upwards to meet your hand, and he completely forgot what he was doing, looking at your grinning face in between his legs with a slightly open mouth.

“Barnes, what the fuck are you doing? I almost got killed!” It was probably Sam, you thought, but it didn’t stop you from your intentions.

“Do you hear it, Buck?” You innocently whispered, spitting on the hard cock in your hand to help your slow movements. “Continue playing your little game; I’ll just do my business here.” 

“Erm, nothing, it’s just—Alpine dropped something, I don’t know, got distracted...” Bucky  breathed out into the microphone, trying to stay as calm as possible, his eyes quickly moving between you and the screen. He continued to play, still trying to win the game, even though your hand felt too good and his eyes desperately wanted to close. 

Your smirk grew wider before you leaned closer to his cock and traced the vein on the lower side, going from the bottom to the top and swirling your tongue around the head at the end. You hummed at his taste in your mouth, sending vibrations down his body. 

The reaction was exactly how you wanted it to be. Bucky cursed under his mouth; his head fell back, and you could tell by the way his arms and jaw were tensed that he wanted to moan. Yes, he was always vocal, so teasing him that way felt so good. 

“What is wrong with you, man?” Another voice was heard through the headphones, but Bucky didn’t seem to care.

“Oh, fuck!” Your lips wrapped around his cock, sucking on the tip and looking Bucky directly in the eyes. You knew that it drove him crazy. Bucky completely forgot about his game while different people yelled at him and put his left hand on top of your head, guiding you to get lower. “Just like that...” 

“Who are you talking to?”

“Are you having sex?”

“What the fuck are you doing, Barnes?” 

A bunch of different questions mixed in the group voice chat, and it became so annoying that Bucky just muted the call and pulled his headphones off.

You tried to smile, but it was hard to do in your current position. You lowered your head, taking more of Bucky’s hard cock into your mouth. The hand on your head was firm, but it didn’t push you down. When the tip hit the back of your throat, he loudly moaned and gripped your hair, holding you in place.

“Fuck-fuck-fuck!” You didn’t stop, staying like that for a few seconds even though your vision was already blurred with tears. You pulled back, stroking his cock with your hand again. The mixture of your tears, saliva, and his pre-cum made a mess on your face, but it was the least of your concerns. “You’re so pretty, baby, so good for me. What made you so mad, hm?” You saw how his pink tongue licked his lips, and even more dirty thoughts about your boyfriend’s face in between your legs made you want to whimper and rub your thighs together. 

“Some assholes in the library. Fuck, Bucky, just use my mouth, I need it.” The smirk appeared on his lips again. The hand on your head buried itself into your hair, holding them tightly but not too rough to hurt you, and pushed you back on his waiting cock.

You moaned around him when Bucky didn’t hesitate and started to move your head up and down, hitting the back of your throat every single time. You gripped his thighs, digging your nail into the skin, and relaxed so you wouldn’t choke too much. 

With each thrust, you felt that Bucky was getting closer. The movements became slightly out of rhythm, and he didn’t hold his moans anymore. The phone began to ring, and you both knew that it was one of the guys, but neither of you cared enough to pay attention to it.

“Of fuck—baby, ‘m gonna cum.” You didn’t pull away, and in just a few seconds, you felt the thick and hot liquid filling your mouth. Bucky released your hair, unable to move in his chair, while you took his cock in your hands and stroked him a few times until the last drops fell onto your waiting tongue. You swallowed everything, locking eyes with Bucky’s hazy ones, and kissed the tip one last time. “You’re going to kill me. Fuck, you should go to the library more often, sweetheart.” His lips curled in a sneer, and when Bucky wanted to drag you onto his lap, the phone rang again.

He rolled his eyes but still answered.

“What the fuck, Barnes, we lost because of you!” 

“I don’t really care, Willson, because I just got the best head, and now I’m going to have no less good sex with my amazing girlfriend. Don't call me for at least a few hours.”

“Ew, you’re motherf—”

Bucky didn’t listen to whatever Sam wanted to say and ended the call, throwing away his phone. Then he looked back at you, still on the floor, and that dangerously attractive grin appeared on his face again. 

“Now let me pay you back, and then fuck you the way you wanted me to. Gotta help my girlfriend relax, right?” That was Bucky’s last words before he stood up, helped you stand up, and then casually threw you over his shoulder, taking you to your bedroom. 

[iamstevessmile]

My everything

Summary: The last thing that Bucky ever expected to see was the love of his life from the past trapped in one of the Hydra bunkers in the cryofreeze chamber. Yet here he was almost two days later, staring at your still unconscious body through the window at the medical wing, imagining the horror and disgust on your face when you found out that he was no longer the innocent and happy boy you knew before.

Word count: 6.8K

Warnings: angst and fluff, I fucked up original timeline so there is no civil war in here, bucky needs and gets a hug, you're bucky's gf from the 40's, cryofreeze, self hate talk, happy end.

Author's note: enjoy💘

“Aren't you fucking tired of this?” Bucky growled as he burst into the common room where Sam, Steve, and Natasha were sitting. "If you set me up on another date, Wilson, I'll break your fucking wings."

Sam rolled his eyes and said, "Calm down, cyborg. Look at you, all angry and stressed out; you need to get laid! When was the last time you’ve been on a date?"

Steve raised his eyebrows in surprise as he glanced between his two friends.

"Sit down, Barnes." Nat nodded her head at the couch across from her. Bucky hesitated for a few seconds, as too many feelings were bubbling inside of him, but he obeyed and sat down, crossing his arms over his chest. “Now explain what happened.”

 "This idiot is trying to set me up again.” He said, nodding towards Sam. "And I told you I'm not interested."

 “But why? Don't you want to feel like back in the days and have some fun with pretty women? This Hydra shit clearly wasn’t good for you. You’re too tense and always mad. Go on a date, maybe you’ll find a good girl to spend some time with.” Sam genuinely wanted to help his friend, and he didn’t understand why Bucky was so mad about it.

The look on Bucky’s face was weird. Like he wanted to say something but, at the same time, didn’t want to share his thoughts. 

“Are you already dating someone?” Natasha leaned with her elbows on her knees and studied his face. There was definitely something that Bucky didn’t want to say.

Steve looked between the three of his friends, and when Nat asked Bucky a question, it was like a bulb turned on in his head.

 "Buck…" Bucky met Steve's eyes, holding eye contact for a few seconds, like they were talking about something that only they knew.

 “Hey!” Sam said, waving his hands. “What are you two doing? Do you know something, Rogers?”

 “Buck, is it because of her?” The blonde said it almost in a whisper. “You still remember, right?”

“Did you have a girlfriend before the war?” Natasha, as always, understood everything immediately, and it was funny to see how Sam’s mouth fell open in shock.

Bucky clenched and unclenched his hands in his lap, not sure if he should reveal the truth. He had kept it to himself for so long—ever since he escaped Hydra and the memories from the past started to flood his head. It was too painful to think about you. To think about the woman who was his whole life many years ago. He remembered everything, and now he sees you in his dreams almost every night. Sometimes in nightmares, sometimes in the good ones, about the life that you two would’ve had if he hadn’t gone to war.

“What the hell are you hiding from us?” Sam shouted again, trying to get attention.

 “I…” Bucky frowns, staring at his hands. “I had a girlfriend... before the army, before the Hydra.” He closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. Just the thought of you hurt him, making him regret everything. That he left, that he didn’t marry you, and that the universe had this shitty plan.

 “And that’s why you don’t want to go out with someone?” Come on, man, how long has it been?  80 years? Get over it. It must have been another one of your girlfriends that you hooked up with when you were young.” He chuckled, looking between his friends, none of whom seemed happy with his choice of words.

 "Sam, don't—"

“You sound like an asshole.” 

 “Get over it?” Bucky didn’t let Steve or Nat finish their sentences before he barked at Sam, looking even more angry than before. “Just another one of my girlfriends? Do you have any idea what the fuck you're talking about, Wilson? " He looked like he was ready to kick his friend right in the face. “She wasn’t one of them. In fact, there was no “them”. In my entire life, I’ve never even touched another woman because I've been in love with Y/N since I was 14. We started dating when I turned 18, and I proposed before I had to go to the war.”

Bucky’s emotions quickly changed as the hot rage turned into a longing for memories and feelings. He felt a lump in his throat, so he reached into his pocket for his wallet, from which he pulled out your old and shabby photo, gently running his finger over your face.

“Y/N was everything to me. She said yes, and I promised her that I would return so we could get married. I imagined that I would spend my whole life with her, you know? I don't need any other woman. I do not want it. I still love her, and I don't care if either of you find it funny.

The room fell into heavy silence. Steve just looked out the window, remembering the times when the three of you went to Coney Island, and he was always the third wheel. You were his friend too, and the aching feeling in his chest was too heavy.

Sam felt a little bit awkward after saying these things about your relationships. He wanted to tease Bucky, not be rude.

Natasha was the one who took the first step when she stretched the arm so Bucky would give her the photo. “You two look so cheesy. She’s really gorgeous.” She smirked, looking at the old black-and-white photo of you two sitting on the bench. Your back was almost lying on Bucky’s body, and his arms were wrapped around you. It seemed like you were talking about something and enjoying the private moment. Bucky had the biggest smile Natasha has ever seen on his face, as he was looking at you with heart eyes.

 “Can I see?” Sam finally asked, nodding at the photograph in Natasha's hands. She passed him the photo and Bucky moved in his place, feeling a little bit uncomfortable about revealing this part of his life. 

“You two look cute. Weird to see a smile on your face.” Sam chuckled.

“Where did you find this photo?” Steve leaned closer to the picture, immediately remembering the day you and Bucky took it and the way Bucky has had it with him ever since.

 “I took it to the war. Always had it in a jacket, even on missions. She was with me that day on the train. I think Hydra found this in my pocket. When I ran away from there, I found a box with my stuff; the photo was there.”

 “Have you… tried to find something about her?” Steve lifted his head, studying his friend's reaction.

 “Yeah,” Bucky sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I don’t know how, but I didn’t find anything. Two years after my fall, there was no record of her. No marriage certificate, no place of residence, no place of work. Nothing. Like she just disappeared.” He shook his head in despair. 

 “But it's impossible.” Steve frowned, giving the photo back. “A person can't just disappear and leave nothing behind.”

 "I don't know," Bucky shrugged, looking back at the photo for a second and then slipping it back into his wallet. "Maybe it's for the best. I don't know how I would come to terms with the news of her death.”

It’s been almost two weeks since that conversation, and luckily for Bucky, Sam didn’t attempt to set him up with anyone anymore.

Earlier that day, Tony announced that his new technology had spotted some weird activity in something that looked like an old and hidden Hydra base. It was pretty much abandoned, but there were signs of small energy consumption, as if something was still constantly working. That’s why the team of Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Tony had to check it out and destroy any possible danger.

After being free from Hydra, Bucky didn’t take part in many missions because the team agreed that it would be better for him to heal and stay far away from triggers. But this base brought up many concerns: it was hidden far away, there was no information about it in nonofficial papers, and even Bucky himself had never heard about it. Tony insisted that someone with knowledge of the Hydra system should go there too.

When the four of them arrived on the quinjet at something that looked like a well-hidden abandoned bunker, they decided not to split up and go through the main and only entrance.

“Be careful; we don’t know that they might hide in here.” Steve said, going in first with a shield in front of him. Bucky and Sam went after him, holding rifles and checking the big and almost empty room.

“They should clean in here, kinda dusty.” Tony chuckled in his usual playful voice. 

“It’s not a good time for your jokes, Stark.” Steve was always a little too serious during missions, and Tony really liked pushing his buttons. “I see the light in the other room.” He whispered, carefully opening the door. 

“Holy shit.” Sam and Tony spoke at the same time when all four of them entered the giant room.

There were five big glass machines that were a little bit foggy and had a little lightning in them.

“What is this?” Steve ran closer to one of them and saw that there was a man inside. “Oh my god, there is a man in here... It looks like he’s alive.”

“There is a folder called “The Winter Soldier Program” with personal information.” Sam said, picking up a file from the shelf in the corner of the room. “George Harris, 27 from New York. Kathleen Hill, 21 from New York…” He read, mumbling to himself.

“It’s a cryostasis chamber. Hydra used it to freeze me.” Bucky lowered his rifle, coming closer to one of the chambers. Another man. “It lowers your body temperature to the point that you can be kept like that for many years. Hydra– “ Bucky went silent when he got to another glass camera. 

“Barnes? Why is there—” Sam didn’t finish his words when the sound of Bucky’s weapon falling on the cold concrete filled the room. 

“No-no-no, please, no!” He whispered, moving closer to the glass. He couldn’t believe what he saw. 

You were right in front of him, with closed eyes and too pale skin. That was impossible. It’s not you. There was no chance that you somehow ended up with Hydra. 

Bucky felt like he was unable to breathe. He tried to inhale some air, but the lump in his throat was too big. The tears blurred his vision; he didn’t hear anything around him, as your almost lifeless body was the only thing that he thought about. You, his sweet girl, somehow ended up trapped with monsters, and he couldn’t do anything to save you from it. 

“Bucky!” Two pairs of hands dragged him from the chamber, and the blurry vision of his best friend was now visible in front of him. “Bucky, listen to me! You should calm down, buddy. Just breathe, okay?” Steve deeply inhaled and exhaled to help Bucky, and after a few minutes, he was finally able to speak.

“T-that’s impossible, Steve. She shouldn’t be there! She should’ve found another man and lived a happy life with her family!” He said in a shaking voice, angrily wiping away tears from his face. 

“I don’t know how this happened, Buck; I really don’t. But she may be alive there.” Steve supportively squeezed Bucky’s shoulder. 

“We can’t just take these people out. We should transport them to the tower and find the safest way to unfreeze them.” Tony said in a serious voice, not joking around anymore. He walked closer to the chambers, studying each of them. “It looks like they are working on their own power, and this one, “he pointed at the one that was dark and with water drops from the inside. “Doesn’t work anymore. The man is probably dead.” 

“Are there any chances of getting them out of there alive?” Sam glared at Bucky, who was just staring at your peaceful but haggard face through the glass.

“I don’t know, but me and Banner will do everything we can.”

It took another day to find a way to move four of the still-working chambers to the compound and ten more hours to defrost everyone. and to say that Bucky was completely stressed out and exhausted was an understatement. He didn’t sleep at all, staying in the room near the lab to get all the news as soon as possible. He walked around the room for hours, overthinking everything—what will happen if you die or if you survive? Is it really better for you to wake up and see all the damage that he has done for the past years? To see the empty shell of the person you loved in the past?

“Barnes!” Tony blasted through the doors with a grin on his face. “We did it.”

“You did it?” Bucky’s whole body was buzzing with energy and anxiety. “Where is she? Is she alive? Is she conscious? Can I see her?”

“Wow-wow, calm down. She is alive, but you can’t see or visit her right now. Dr. Cho has to run many tests to find out whether your lovebird is healthy or not.” Tony nodded his head toward the corridor so Bucky would follow him. “We put each of them into a different room, and your Blonde Bestie insisted on putting Y/N into the best and the biggest one. There is a special window through which you can see her, but she cannot see you from the inside. So you can be as creepy as you want to until she gets better.” Stark slapped Bucky on the shoulder to show some kind of support when they stopped in front of the said window. 

You were lying on the bed, surrounded by too many wires and monitors. Dr. Cho was standing above you, writing something down, and checking the device near your head.

She said something aloud, probably talking to FRIDAY, and came out of the room. 

“Oh, Mr.Barnes, I heard that Y/N was your girlfriend, right?” She smiled, and Bucky slightly nodded, not being able to completely drag his attention from your body. “I’ll tell you this: it’s my most difficult and unique case, but she’s a strong one. Her body heals faster than other people’s from cryo. I believe she’ll be fully awake tomorrow.” 

“Thank you, Dr.Cho.” Bucky felt a little bit better now that he had more hope that you could really be back. Dr.Cho gave him another smile and left to check on her other patients. 

“I have to find out if these people have families. Did Y/N have someone who might be alive?” Tony asked. 

“No, she didn’t.”

“I’ll go, and you, Barnes, will stay away from her for now, understood?” He pointed a finger into Bucky’s face. 

“Yes. I’ll just watch from here.” 

You were alive. You were awake. Bucky saw with his own eyes as your body started moving and you slowly sat on the bed, confused by your surroundings. He saw panic on your face because you were clearly disoriented and scared to be alone in an unknown place. 

As fast as he could, he found Dr. Cho, who was in the room with Steve and Natasha. When he, choking on all the emotions, told them about you, it was a mess. 

Dr. Cho and a few other nurses ran to your room to check your condition because you were the first one to open your eyes.

Bucky, Steve, and Nat stood on the other side of the window. Bucky wasn’t able to fully convince himself that it was true that you were so close to him. It felt like a dream, like a weird picture that his brain created to comfort him. 

“She’s okay, Buddy.” Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder because it seemed like he didn’t even blink or breathe. “You can see her soon.”

“No.” He mumbled.

“What?” His friend’s head shot in his direction.

“Someone else should talk to her first. Tell her about my past. Maybe she won’t even want to see me after everything I’ve done.”

“I can go and talk to her first.” Natasha softly smiled. She knew the feeling when you’re afraid that someone will leave you because of your past. “I think it’s better for Y/N to first find out that she woke up in the new century and that she was cryofrozen for many years. I’ll tell her that Steve is alive, and then me and you can both tell her about Bucky.” 

Bucky just nodded to her words, still not being able to look at anything besides you. He wasn’t sure that after you find out all the truth, you’ll allow him to even be around you, so for now, he tried to memorize you as much as he could. 

Since the moment you opened your eyes, everything felt unknown and different. You couldn’t explain it, but something had changed. You didn’t know where you were, what time it was, how you ended up in that place, or who all these people were. You felt scared as too many doctors crowded your room and fussed around, talking about tests and medical procedures. 

The young woman who seemed to be in charge was actually really sweet. After only you and her were left in the room, she sat on your bed with a pile of clothes in her hands and smiled at you. 

“So, Y/N, my name is Dr. Cho, and I’m here to help you heal faster and without any consequences.” 

“Where am I?” Your voice was too raspy and harsh. It felt like you swallowed a glass of sand. 

She sighed, looking at her journal. “It’s hard to explain, but I promise that there’s nothing to worry about. You are safe. In a few minutes, someone will visit you to talk about everything and answer any of your questions. Now, I was told to give you these clothes so it would be more comfortable for you. You can change in the bathroom right there; there is also anything you might need like a toothbrush, soap, and so on.” She pointed at the door in the corner of the room. 

You stayed silent until Dr. Cho left your room, and then slowly, feeling kind of scared to move around this place, you went to the bathroom to change out of the hospital gown. 

The bathroom looked even weirder than the main room; you had never seen such furniture and interiors. And when you unfolded your new clothes, it took you a few seconds to figure it out. It was some kind of soft pants and a large t-shirt. What kind of clothes was it? Yes, they were actually comfortable, but it wasn’t something that you saw in the stores. 

While you were brushing your teeth, your brain was working too hard trying to figure out what the hell was going on, until you heard someone calling your name. 

“Hey, Y/N, my name is Natasha.” The pretty red-headed woman was standing near your bed with a tray and food in her hands. 

“Please, tell me what’s going on. Where am I? Why does everything look so strange here?” You said in a desperate voice, you almost wanted to scream because you woke up several hours ago, but no one told you a single thing.

“Don’t be nervous, honey. Let's sit on the bed; you’ll eat your special meal, and I’ll tell you everything you want.” She was so nice and genuine, so you nodded and sat down. 

Natasha placed a tray near you, and you saw that it was your favorite food of all time. You took a bite, and your taste buds were immediately filled with the taste of the meal that James cooked you almost every day. James. It was his recipe. The tears flooded your eyes when all of the memories about your dead boyfriend returned to your head. Yeah, how could you forget that it had been at least two years since he was gone? 

“Y/N? What happened?” Natasha’s worried voice distracted you. 

“It just reminded me of someone. I felt like I was home, and it hurts me because nothing is the same anymore.” You wiped your tears away, taking another bite. 

“I promise you that everything is going to be okay. You are not alone here.” You frowned at her words but still nodded. “So ask whatever you want to.” 

“Where am I, and why does everything look so different?”

“You are at the Avengers Tower, located in Manhattan, New York City. I know that might sound ridiculous, but you were in the cryostasis chamber up until now. It’s 2023, and a lot of things have changed in the world; that's why it might be confusing.”

You stayed silent for a few seconds, overthinking Natasha’s words. “It can’t be true. I can’t be more than one hundred years old now. And I look the same.” 

“This is how cryostasis works—it freezes the body so it can survive many years without any changes. Now tell me how you ended up with Hydra. What is the last thing you remember before waking up here?” 

“Back in the 40s, I was a nurse. My– my boyfriend— he died during the war.” You stopped because of the lump in your throat. It was too hard to bring back these memories because it was the first time you said these words out loud. “He died, and then my closest friend died too, and I just had no one left. I was alone, and I didn’t even know what to live for because all of my dreams about family and a happy life with the person I loved died too.” Natasha put her hand over yours on the bed and gave you a supportive squeeze. “Then one day in our hospital, scientists were looking for people who would like to test new serums. I decided that I had nothing to lose, so me and a few other nurses signed in.” 

“Kathleen, Josh, Adam, and Frank, right?” The woman in front of you gave you a sad smile.

“Yes, how do you know that?” 

“We found them with you. Adam’s camera was broken, so he died a long time ago, but the rest of them are here too, but, unfortunately, they haven’t regained consciousness yet.” 

You nodded. Your food was now done and set aside, and you sat on the bed more comfortably, bringing your knees to your chest. “These scientists were running some tests on us in the lab that they brought us in. It felt weird, and I remember that Kathleen always complained that it was painful. The last thing that happened was that they told us to step into a weird-looking machine that was meant to be a part of some kind of experiment. That’s it.”

“It was Hydra. A terrorist organization that tried to rule the world. They were evil, and you were lucky to get out of there alive.” Natasha pursed her lips. “Thank you for telling me this.” 

You two sat in silence for a few seconds until she looked over her shoulder at the weird-looking mirror that took up almost a whole wall. 

“Is anything wrong?” You furrowed.

“I have to tell and show you something really important, but everyone is worried about how you are going to react to this.” She studied your face with a weird expression. 

“Is there anything more crazy than me being in another century after I was frozen?” You tried to smile, but Natasha just nodded. 

“I’ll be right back. Please, try to breathe, okay?” She stood from your bed, took the tray, and left. 

Natasha came back, and behind her was the last person you ever expected to see again. You jumped on your feet, feeling like your eyes were lying to you. 

“This—this can’t be true... No, Natasha—Steve, you died.” You mumbled under your breath. Your heart rate was way higher than usual, and it felt like you were drowning. You put your hand over your eyes, as your body started shaking. It’s just a dream. It’s just a weird fucking dream.

Two large hands wrapped around your body, pulling you into the hard chest. “Sh-s, Y/N, breathe, just breathe.” His familiar voice filled your ears, and you started crying harder, gripping his shirt. He was rocking you from side to side like a baby, while your tears and sobs filled the silent room.

“What– how– how is this possible? You crushed the plane into ice.” You shattered, tears running down your face.

“The Super Soldier serum saved me. The S.H.I.E.L.D. found my body 12 years ago.” Steve loosened his arms around you, allowing you to look up at him. He was exactly the same. This blonde hair, these light blue eyes, and that soft smile that he always had for you. “Please, sit back on the bed. We have a lot to talk about.” His face was now more serious. Even though he was extremely happy to get back his second closest best friend, he knew that Bucky was dying without you.

Steve and Bucky both looked at your interaction with Natasha, and it was obvious that everything Bucky wanted was for you to be near him. He looked through that window without any distraction, and his face lit up with a small smile when you tasted the food that he cooked for you and became emotional. He knew that you would appreciate it.

“About what?” You wiped your face with the back of your hand and sat down, holding Steve's hand. Natasha, who was still standing in the middle of the room, passed him a thick folder and left. Steve sat near you and gave you a supportive smile. 

“Bucky.” 

You froze and snatched your hand out of his. 

“Steve, no. Please—” You wrapped your hands around your body, as if you were instantly trying to hide from the pain that was aching in your chest. “Please, don’t hurt me anymore. I can’t handle that. Talking about him w-when he’s not with me anymore.” The sods started to get out of you, and you hid your face from Steve’s soft and apologizing eyes.

“He is alive.” Steve’s hands fell on your shoulders, and he lowered his head, trying to make you look him in the eyes.

“Don’t lie to me! He is dead; I saw the reports; I got the letter from Phillips saying that he’s sorry for our loss!” You particularly yelled at your friend. 

“Y/N, listen to me, okay? Bucky is alive. He is here. Behind that door, he’s watching us right now.” You were shaking your head in denial. 

That was impossible. You knew all this story; Steve himself told you what happened that day. There was no chance for Bucky to survive the fall from that height in the middle of nowhere. Yet here was Steve, sitting right before you. His big blue and soft eyes were looking into your eyes, and you didn’t see a single sign of hesitation or lying in there. He was so genuine that you wanted to believe that your boyfriend was, in fact, a few meters away from you.

“How? And why? James– he would’ve been with me if he were alive. Why isn’t he here?” You sobbed, and then the realization came to you. “That food—the food that Natsha brought me. It tasted exactly like he made it.”

“Bucky thought that it might comfort you. He found you in that laboratory, he has been near you since that day, and he saw that you were scared and disoriented when you woke up. And that's why I am here. Bucky insisted that I should talk to you first and tell you everything. He is afraid that you might not see him anymore after finding out everything that is written here.” Steve picked up the folder and put it on your lap. 

“The Winter Soldier” was written on top of the old-looking piece of paper, and for some reason you felt something weird in your chest.

“I want to let you know that whatever is in here, it cannot make me hate him.” You mumbled, hesitating to open the folder. “What’s in there, Steve? Tell me everything.”

“These are the papers that S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra had on the Winter Soldier. Everything that happened to him: experiments, torture, assassinations, crimes. This is what happened to Bucky after the fall. This is what Hydra did to him over these years.” 

You felt a lump in your throat when you opened the first page and saw Bucky’s photo from the army. But nothing prepared you for everything you read and saw after that. He wasn’t even James or Bucky anymore. He was a Soldier. An Asset. Someone without an identity. All the detailed descriptions of the medical procedures, brainwashing, electroshock, torture, and punishments with attached photos made you want to vomit and cry hysterically. You couldn’t stop crying when your shaking hands took a picture of the love of your life sitting shirtless and unconscious on some kind of stool with wires attached to his head. 

How could someone do that? How could someone torture a person almost to death and then just write about it like it was a fucking dairy? 

“His arm, it’s metal. Why is it made from metal?” Your teary-red eyes shoot back to Steve’s face. 

“Bucky lost it during the fall. They gave him a new one, but it causes him a lot of pain. Physical and mental.”

“I don’t— Steve, I don’t understand.” You took another picture with Bucky standing in his full black costume and a mask, not a single emotion on his face. “Why did they do this? For what?” 

“Hydra wanted to have the perfect asset. Killing machine. To commit crimes, kill unwanted people, and basically rule the world.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, looking at the floor. “They made Bucky the best. They completely cleared his head from the memories of his past; they trained him to be invincible and invisible. They had a special combination of words to control him, so he would always come back and do as he was told.”

You closed the file and moved it aside, closing your face with your hands while you were crying.

“And he thinks that I can reject him?” You whispered.

“Y/N, please try to understand what such things can do to your brain. Bucky goes to therapy, but he probably would never be able to fully heal from this experience.” His hand fell on your shoulder and squeezed it slightly. “Bucky always was a good person; that's why right now he feels so much guilt that it’s unimaginable. Even if nothing of this is his fault, he can’t forgive himself for these murders and damage. He has PTSD, nightmares, and a lot of trust issues.”

“I understand, but I would’ve never rejected him. He’s everything that I had, and when I lost him, it felt like hell.” You took a deep breath, looking Steve in the eyes. “Please, let me see him. I need it, and he needs it too.” Steve’s eyes softened at you. He almost forgot the love that his two best friends had for each other. 

“Give me a minute, okay?” He smiled, kissed your head, and left your room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You were really going to see the man that you thought you had lost forever in a few seconds. It was almost three years for you, but almost eighty for him. A wave of anxiety washed over you when you thought that maybe he doesn’t feel the same anymore and doesn’t have the same feelings as you do. You almost went down a rabbit hole until the door started to open. 

You slowly stood up, feeling a little bit uneasy. Even though you and Steve were just talking about it, seeing Bucky alive felt unreal. Your eyes were sliding up and down his face to remember every little part. He looked different, more mature, with a broad chest and shoulders and long, silky hair. 

Bucky’s heart was pounding in his ears, and his mouth was completely dry while you were observing him. You had tears in your eyes, and your lower lip was trembling when you tried to hold yourself from crying out loud. You were in some baggy clothes that Nat found for you, but you still looked fucking gorgeous. Still the most beautiful girl on the whole planet. 

“Doll…” Bucky’s raspy voice filled the room, and it was everything you needed. 

In just a second, you ran to him, falling right into his body. Arms wrapped around his shoulders, and your face hidden into his neck. 

As soon as Bucky finally hugged your smaller body and felt that it was real and that you were real, he broke down. Every last piece of strength went through the window as the tears rolled down his cheeks, probably soaking your t-shirt.

He wanted to drop to his knees and beg for your forgiveness for all of the awful things that he had done. He didn’t deserve you anymore, not with this much blood on his hands. But Bucky couldn’t do what he wanted because your grip on him was so strong that he wasn’t even able to move away for an inch. 

“James…” Your quiet voice filled his ears, and it sent shivers down his spine. Only you and his ma called him that, and he missed it so fucking much.

Bucky’s hands moved from your waist a little bit lower, and you viewed it as an opportunity to get even closer. Your legs instantly wrapped around his body, and Bucky, making sure that you wouldn’t fall, went to the bed and sat down with you on his knees. 

“I’m so sorry... I’m so sorry for everything that I’ve done.” He sobbed, shaking his head. You pulled away a little bit, finally meeting Bucky face-to-face. 

“Don’t you dare apologize for the things that you weren’t able to control, James!” Your voice suddenly became rough, filled with so much anger toward the people who hurt your precious boy. His hand on your waist tightened, and you slid your own to cup Bucky’s face. “I want to kill every one of them. Everyone who hurt you, who punished you,” Soft fingertips traced the delicate skin of the templates where, as you remember from the photos, wires with electricity were placed. “You didn’t deserve to go through this, James. I wish I was there for you.” 

“You were always with me. Even when they wiped me, I still had someone in my head. A woman with a soft voice, who told me that I'm strong and that it will end soon. I would’ve died without it.” You both were looking into each other's teary eyes, both feeling too much love and desire. 

Your head slightly tilted towards his, connecting your foreheads, and for a few seconds, it felt like home. Like nothing happened and you two were just having a lazy morning in bed.

The calloused hand on the side of your face brought you back to reality. Bucky’s beautiful blue eyes were looking into yours, and, sharing one thought, you both moved closer and connected your lips. The kiss was so soft, slow, and gentle, like you had the whole time in the world. It was this type of kiss that said that you both were there and alive. It was a reminder of the love that you had for each other. Reassurance, that no matter what, you will be there.

“I missed you so fucking much, doll. Since the day I first remembered everything, all I could think about was you. Even tried to find you, but there was not a single document. I started to believe that you just found a man, changed your last name, and moved away from that mess.” You were so close to each other, not wanting to split up even for a second. Your hands were moving up and down Bucky’s hard chest while he was rubbing the soft skin of your cheek with his thumb.

“Are you joking, James? No one was able to replace you. The only people I talked to during that time were your mom and Becca.” His facial expression slightly changed at the mention of his family, and you placed a soft kiss on his stubble cheek. “I should’ve been the one who took care of them, but I was nothing without you, and Winnie almost made me move in with them. That’s why I jumped at the opportunity to be a volunteer for these tests.” 

Bucky shook his head, his eyes again full of regret and pain. “I hate that it happened because of me.”

“At least I’m here right now. With you.” You smiled, sliding your hand into his dark, long locks. “You know, James, you look really good for someone who’s older than one hundred years old. I like your hair. And stubble.” His eyes rolled back at the feeling of your nails on his scalp. It had been so long since someone touched him without an intention to hurt him, and the realization of that made your heart swell with the need to take care of your boyfriend. 

“You know that you’re one year younger than me, right?” Your favorite little smirk in the whole world appeared on Bucky’s lips, and you smiled, moving a little bit closer to his body. The metal hand on your waist tightened, and you realized that you hadn't seen it in person yet. 

Your right hand reached behind you, grabbing a hard wrist that was covered in leather. Bucky’s body immediately froze under you, and his eyes snapped open. 

“Doll, no… You don’t have to...” 

“I want to. Give me your hand, James.” You said without any hesitation. Bucky looked you in the eyes for a few seconds, but then brought his metal hand between your bodies. “It’s just me, okay? I’m not scared, and I want to know everything.” You wrapped both of your hands around his hand and then gently started to take off the glove. 

The dark metal with beautiful golden stripes was shining under the bright light of the room. Your mouth slightly opened when you moved each finger with interest. Your gentle hands slid higher, rolling up the sleeve of the red henley Bucky was wearing. It was so smooth, without any sharp details, just an amazing and mind-blowing mechanism. 

“That’s so beautiful.” You mumbled in awe. Suddenly the plates under your hands moved, and a quiet whirring sound filled the room. You shot your eyes back at Bucky in shock, only to see that he was already looking at you with so much love that you almost melted. “Did you do that?” 

“It’s a new arm, not from Hydra. It reacts to my emotions. No one ever touched it without any fear.” You almost missed that last sentence, but the hurt in Bucky’s voice made you grab his face with your hands to get his whole attention.

“Listen to me, James. I’m not afraid of you. I won’t reject you. You are everything that I want. You still have the biggest and kindest heart of the guy that I met many years ago, and I’ll do everything to prove to you this.” The metal hand carefully touched your hand on the side of his face. “I love you. I love you so much, James.”

“I love you too, Doll. More than anything in this life,” Your lips crushed into each other, now sharing a more passionate and deep kiss. You slightly tilted your head, allowing Bucky to part your lips with his tongue and playfully bite you. It was almost too overwhelming, and you both were completely lost in each other until you finally needed to breathe. 

“Stay here with me, please. I don’t want you to leave.” You whined, trying to push your big and strong super soldier onto the bed. 

“I won’t leave, baby.” He chuckled, allowing you to push him back. You happily giggled and laid near him, interlacing your bodies together. 

You two were just staying in your own little bubble on your bed for what seemed like forever, talking about everything and nothing at the same time, until you finally fell asleep, feeling happy and peaceful in each other's arms.  

[iamstevessmile]

i wanted to request hockey player!bucky au or like any kinda sport but preferably hockey or baseball because i’ve only read like 3 fics about that AU but im obsessed with it

Athlete!Bucky

masterlist | req masterlist

I didn’t put any boxer bucky fics btw ! thinking about making a list just for it..

ONESHOT

My Everyday by @pellucid-constellations

Bucky Barnes was aggressive, annoying, and—worst of all—a hockey player. Not your type. At all. But, unfortunately, your roommate.

Touchdown by @buckyseternal

you decide to reward your boyfriend after he scores the winning touchdown.

A Little Superstitious by @jadedvibes

The school's football team needs a win and a certain blue-eyed player could use a kiss for good luck to help make that happen.

hail mary by @barnesafterglow

when you start sneaking around with your brother's best friend, it's only a matter of time until you get caught

Don’t End Today by @subwaysurf45

The day that you happily upgraded you from tutor to girlfriend all because of a few nice words.

Flirting and Football by @lovelybarnes

Bucky barnes and a college au where reader is the only one who isn’t interested in him basically

Anger Issues by @hailhydra920

You’re the only one who can calm Bucky down.

fair catch by @endless-summer-soldier

Y/N joins the football team to prove a point and the last thing Bucky expected out of the season was to fall for the new kicker

SERIES

For the Love of the Game by @pellucid-constellations

Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it.

No Such Thing by @sanguineterrain

You’ve been assigned to write a column for your school paper on the team’s spectacular running back. You don’t care very much for your university’s football team; you just can’t understand the hype, okay? Turns out your distaste for football bigheads was exactly on point: James Barnes is insufferable.

Out Of Bounds by @foreverindreamlandd

The chaos fic that was supposed to be a one shot inspired by me binge-watching Ted Lasso and now there’s a masterlist lmao. Enjoy the ride!

ice ice baby by @endless-summer-soldier

Bucky is a college hockey player, Y/N is a figure skater without a partner. What's happens when these two opposites start sharing the ice...

Quarterback!Bucky x Assistant!Reader by @angrythingstarlight

ice ice baby by @endless-summer-soldier

Bucky is a college hockey player, Y/N is a figure skater without a partner. What's happens when these two opposites start sharing the ice...

[iamstevessmile]

This is my life thanks to God

[iamstevessmile]

Hiii! I love your stories and I would like to put a request?

I watched videos about social experiments of men forcing themselves on women to see if someone would interfere. There is this one where a guy in a bike, saw it and then fixed his hair to look intimidating and intervened.

Can you do one where reader is a reluctant participant of the experiment with her classmates and they kind of force her to the role is the girl? Then just so happens Bucky was walking around and saw it and just fixed his hair first to look more intimidating before he intervened.

Then they try to tell him its an experiment but Bucky didn't exactly liked it because reader is still upset so he goes and take her away.

It can be fluffy and has a smut on the end or its your choice! Anything would be great because you are a great writer.

I hope you can see my request! Take your time too. No rush love! 💕💕💕

OKAY THIS IS SO CUTE We love protective Bucky. Now make it protective College!Bucky. Readers "friends" are awful in this. Bucky is everything here. We live for that fluffy, emotional smut. Also I'm so sorry because I'm 10000% sure when you said take your time you didn't mean take over a year to respond. I hope you see you bb

"C'mon y/n, it'll be fine!" Danielle whined, dragging you along with the others, ignoring the discomfort on your face.

"Why can't one of you do it" You frowned, tugging at the hem of your skirt, shifting uncomfortable while your friends continued to drag you towards the park bench. They begged you to be a participant in a social experiment they were doing for class and insisted you wouldn't have to do much. They didn't tell you you'd have to sit through someone pretending to harass you the entire time, waiting to see if people would intervene.

"Because it'll look more real this way. One of us can't do it" She rolled her eyes, making adjustments to your hair while her group members set up a camera in the bushes out of sight. They roped in one of the football players on campus, Johnathan Walker, to take on the roll of the man harassing you just to keep it more interesting, wondering if people would stand up to a more well-known figure, especially one that was clearly physically stronger than most.

"It's not that big of a deal. All you have to do is look scared while John pretends to keep asking you out on a date. Maybe some cat calling. either way its all fake so you just have to act. Ugh, don't worry, Y'know he'd never actually ask you out, seriously, enjoy what you can here"

You sighed, your stomach already flipping with anxiety while she laughed, running off to hide, throwing a thumbs up to indicate they'd started filming.

"Hey pretty girl" the blonde winked, taking a seat beside you on he bench, inching closer to you when you shifted away. "What's a girl like you doin' sittin' all alone" He threw his arm over the back of the bench to get you closer, trying to pull you right beside him. You stiffened, looking as uncomfortable as ever but you weren't acting.

"Just waiting for someone" You made up an excuse, giving him another pained smile while he nodded, asking you for coffee next, talking louder than necessary, hoping to gain some attention from people walking by. You shook your head, getting up to walk away, the smirk on his face growing, clearly really enjoying this.

"Hey, come back" he called after you, grabbing your arm and pulling you to his chest to keep you from running off. His hand moved from your arm to your waist, sliding down until it rested just above your ass. More passer byers started to notice but no one stopped, every person glancing without wanting to get involved, especially when it came to the football star and a girl no one really knew.

"John, stop" You whispered just enough for him to hear, your throat tightening when he gripped you harder, smirking at your struggle.

"C'mon darlin', don't be like that" He laughed, grabbing your ass, your heart starting to hammer in panic. You pushed against his chest, desperately hoping someone would intervene but he only continued to hold you closer.

-

Bucky ran his fingers through his hair after just taking it down after a workout, his black hair tie sitting on his wrist. He took a long sip from his water bottle while walking to class, noticing a few hushed whispers among people as he passed the campus park along with a small crowd watching something from a distance.

"Please let me go"

He frowned at the scared pleading voice he heard, making his way over to make sure no one was hurt. His jaw clenched seeing the sweet girl he recognized from one of his classes clearly in distress trying to get away from Walker without a single person trying to help. He saw red watching Walkers hands roam, pulling her back each time she tried to run away.

-

"Just one date, it won't hurt-

"Get the fuck off her!" A voice boomed across the park making John flinch, his hand dropping as if you'd suddenly burnt him. Everyone's eyes shot up to a very angry James Barnes marching straight towards you and John, the blonde swallowing nervously, stepping away from you.

Danielle stopped filming, worried Bucky would actually throw John over the bench, his hardened eyes and clenched fists a bad sign.

"Guys! Hey, relax it's just an experiment-

"About what?! Actually harassing her? You're disgusting" Bucky hissed, glaring at Danielle, shutting her up instantly. Bucky stepped in between you and John, his large frame sheltering you from your supposed friends. "Can't you see she's actually scared and uncomfortable. You should've stopped as soon as she asked you to"

Danielle's cheeks reddened from embarrassment, too scared to say anything back to the man who towered over her, slinking away when he turned to John instead.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, I should beat your ass for what you just did to her" Bucky growled while John tried to straighten his shoulders, getting pulled back by his bestfriend before he could open his mouth.

"He's captain of the wrestling team and coaches MMA, just shut the fuck up and walk away" Lamar hissed in Johns ear, throwing Bucky an apologetic smile, dragging his friend before things could get worse. Your friends packed their things and scrambled away leaving your shaken, biting onto your lip to keep from crying.

"Hey, you okay?" Bucky cupped your cheek, his thumb wiping away the tears that slipped out, his glare sending off anyone that tried to stop and stare.

"I'm-I'm fine" You said shakily, forcing a smile. "Thank you Bucky"

"Of course y/n" He spoke softly, wishing he could wrap you up in his arms so you'd feel protected. His heart broke seeing you continue to tremble, slipping his hand in yours, giving it a firm squeeze. "Tell me what you need, do you want me to walk you home?"

"Yes please" You whispered, grateful you had Bucky by your side, his stoic face, scruffy beard and shoulder length hair keeping everyone else far away while he kept you close to his side.

"Lets go" He nodded with a smile, knowing the way to your place after he'd walked you home plenty of times after you'd worked on papers together in the library. You pressed yourself into his side, your body relaxing when he moved to wrap his arm around you, strong, corded muscles holding you firmly. The walk to your place wasn't long; as soon as you reached the door, you felt a pang of sadness, already missing Bucky's protective warmth.

"What else do you need sweets, do you want me to get you anything? Coffee?"

"Could you-" you nervously fidgeted with your fingers, feeling silly for the request, deciding to drop in instead. "Actually its okay"

"Hey, no, please tell me, you know you can ask me for anything y/n" His baby blues pleaded with you while your eyes flicked to your feet.

"Could you stay for a little while? I- I just- I'm still-

"Of course doll, I'd love to" Bucky hushed your nervous rambling, happy to keep you company until you felt better. His cheeks blushed as he entered you home, already doing a poor job of keeping his composure together. He couldn't help the way his heart skipped a beat when you gave him a shy smile, the secret crush he had on you making him feel soft and fuzzy. He'd had a crush on you from the first day you were assigned as study partners for a project and it had only gotten worse ever since.

He toed off his shoes, dropping his duffle bag by the closet while you both made your way to the living room. He didn't let you get up, telling you to stay put on the couch while he went to grab you some water. You put on one of your comfort shows, curling up into his side while he wrapped his arm around you, the scent of his body wash and something distinctly him making you feel warm and safe. You hadn't realized you kept kneading into his side like a kitten while Bucky chuckled, pulling the throw blanket over you, letting your legs sit across his thighs.

"Feeling better?" He whispered against your hair, still stroking your back an hour later. You nodded, having crawled into his lap at some point during the evening, your head resting on his chest, listening to his heart beat.

"I like this" you smiled, toying with his chain, the simple action making Bucky nearly swoon.

"Me too, doll" He kissed the top of your head softly, "Anything else I can do for you? Just name it, I can make you dinner, we can build a pillow fort, have a sleep over" He teased playfully, making you giggle. You nuzzled yourself further into his hold, wanting the night to last forever.

"Stay with me tonight?" you whispered, peering up at him through your lashes before flicking yours eyes away, worried you'd crossed a boundary. Bucky cupped your face making you look at him, his thumb sweeping across your bottom lip.

"Are you sure, sweets?"

"Please" you nodded, forgetting how to breathe when his eyes bounced to your lips before meeting your gaze again, his self restraint slowly crumbling. He bit his lip, squeezing your waist a little harder than intended to hold himself back, eyes growing wide when your soft mouth pressed against his. His lashes fluttered shut, hands moving to hold your face, desperately chasing more of your sweetness.

His tongue slipped between yours lips, lacing with yours as the kiss grew more heated, groaning as he moved you to straddle his lap with ease. He didn't intend to take anything further, happy to spend the night kissing you while watching movies, his arms wrapping around your body.

"I need you" You broke away panting, your hands clutching onto his Henley, seated again his thick erection impossible to hide under his sweats.

"How do you need me, sugar" Bucky rasped, unsure if thats what you needed, doing his best to keep his hard length from rubbing against you. He let out a shuddered breath when you shifted, bucking your hips in the process, wriggling on his lap. "Doll, you gotta stop that, or else I'll-

"Need you closer" You whimpered, your arms wrapping around his wide shoulders, burying you face into the crook of his neck. His heady scent made you want to sink your teeth into him, having never felt more protected, needing to feel all of him.

"Are-are you sure?" He squeezes his eyes shut, feeling your soft lips pepper kisses up his neck to his ear. He wouldn't have a single problem if you decided to say no, still doing his best to hold back.

"Yes, please Bucky need you"

"Can't have our first time together on your couch, baby" Bucky let out a breathless laugh, wrapping your legs around his waist, hoisting you up with ease, making his way up the stairs to your room. He laid you down before settling on top between your legs, lost in holding you again. Clothes were thrown off one by one between needy, desperate kisses, until you were both left completely bare. Your slick was sticky between your legs, covering your thighs, too impatient for anything else, just needing Bucky to fill you right up.

Bucky could feel your arousal coat his length, keeping it slotting between your wet folds as he dipped his head down to take your nipple in his mouth, giving it a gentle tug while cupping your other breast. His hips rutted on their own. taking his time to love on you, dribbles of precum wetting your clit.

"Bucky, please, closer?" You pleaded, spreading your legs further, gasping when his tip caught against your entrance, your nails digging into his thick shoulders. His fell around your face like a soft curtain, gently tickling your face.

"You sure you want this, you can say no baby" He said sincerely, stroking your hair, ignoring the way your cunt was pulsing and throbbing against his dripping cockhead, greedy for him to put it in you.

"I want you Bucky. I-I've liked for for so long" You shyly confessed, biting your lip while he cooed, tipping your chin up to meet his eyes.

"I liked you too, y/n" He whispered, his cheeks blushing at your sweetness, giving yourself to him, and trusting him when you were at your most vulnerable. "So much love, been crushing on you forever"

He held the base of his cock, the both of you gasping as he pushed the tip in, your pussy instantly welcoming him inside you, pulsing for more.

"That's it, open up for me baby, good girl" He whispered against your skin, inching his cock in, the delicious stretch causing your back to arch off the bed, pressing your chest further against his. "S'good, taking all of my cock doll"

"Wan-want all of you Bucky" you moaned, squeezing your thighs around his waist as he bottomed out, his balls pressed against your ass. "Oh my god!"

Bucky started to move, giving you slow, gentle strokes, his body weight grounding you while you took everything he gave you. He'd wanted to make love for you for ages, bringing his hands to lave with yours, pinning you against the bed while moving faster, his cock swelling further.

"You-you feel so good sweets, fuck you're so precious"

"I am?" You whimpered, your voice melting into a moan as he hit that sensitive spot that made your body tremble, pleasure and emotion causing tears to slip out.

"So precious to me baby" He wrapped his arms tenderly around your body, kissing your tears away, his pace growing sloppy. "My precious doll. I'll protect you from anyone" His voice dropped an octave, fucking you with the utmost passion, pounding you hard and fast. "You're mine now, not gonna let anyone every hurt you"

You hiccupped a sob, your cunt pulling him back in, fluttering around his throbbing cock making it impossible for him to last any longer.

"M'gonna cum doll" Bucky whispered, his back pulled taut, giving you deep strokes, the head of his cock sensitive, "You gotta cum first baby, m'gonna cum so hard for you" His hand slipped between your bodies, rubbing quick circles around your clit, pleasure crashing down hard and fast.

"BUCCKYY" You cried out, your body shuddering as you started to clench around his cock, causing him to moan loudly, stilling as he cock hardened.

"Oh fuck baby, m'cumming!" He spilled himself into you, giving you a few more sloppy thrusts until he was milked dry, collapsing on top of you while you carded your fingers through his soft locks. He spent the rest of the night cuddling you, until you fell asleep in his arms, with your legs tangled together until the sun rose.

He loved how you looked, as the sun streamed through the blinds, a soft pout on yours lips as he traced over your featured, admiring each one. You peeked an eye open before closing it again, giggling when he pinched your side.

"What else can I do for you, baby" Bucky gave you a cheeky smile, making your face heat up, smiling into his chest.

"More cuddles please?" Your voice was muffled, sighing contently when he pulled the covers higher, closing his eyes again.

"Wouldn't have it any other way"

[iamstevessmile]

Second Shot

Chapter 2

(Previous Chapter)

Pairings: college hockey coach Andy Barber x “the one that got away” female reader

Warnings: sloooooow burn, angsty, reader has a lot of insecurities, single parenting, self deprecating reader, mention of lower income/single parent struggles, the one that got away, Andy not knowing (at first) that he’s a dad, angry Andy, arguing between Andy and reader.

Word Count: 6.3K

A/N: I have so many to thank for pre reading and letting me screech at them about the Second Shot verse! Thank you in no particular order to @justalonelyslytherin @ysmmsy @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @sconnie-doesnt-know @holacia3 ❤️

Big thank you to Amber again for being my hype woman and being so sweet and encouraging when I’m getting the pre posting jitters.

And thank you to @stargazingfangirl18 for always encouraging me and talking me out of the spiral when the self doubt sets in. Hoemate, I’m so lucky to have met you on this crazy hellsite ❤️

Not beta read. All mistakes are my own.

Second Shot Masterlist

"How's the week been?" Andy asked, folding his arms across his chest as he came to stand next to the university women's head coach. Coach K was watching her athletes running drills with the camp participants.

"Really good, actually" Coach K sounded a little surprised, "Good call on adding the mini mites level, Coach... wasn't sure we could handle the tiny ones" she nudged Andy's arm playfully as he cleared his throat.

"Well... your team is more then capable and i was hoping it would add more revenue for the programs..." he smiled, unfolding his arms and leaning on the boards as he surveyed the tiny players on the ice. His eyes landed on a pair of mini mites- talent above the rest- even better then a lot of the campers in the older groups.

"Those two..." Coach K motioned to your girls as she tracked Andy's gaze on the ice, "they're twins... both forwards with a lot of natural talent..."

Andy watched Lottie playing keep-away with the puck as Lenny zoomed after her.

"They've got advanced stick handling... that's for sure" Andy smiled, his attention drifting back to his colleague as she discussed the weeks scrimmage schedule with the head coach.

Andy had been back for only a handful of months now, back in the states and done with his hockey career- as a player at least.

He had been offered the university men's head coaching position by his former coach. Andy was a natural choice for the position and he was happy for the new opportunity.

~~~~

Andy stood at the boards, watching the campers leave the ice as another day of drills came to an end. He couldn't help the smile spreading across his face as he watched the campers getting smaller and smaller- most of them in ill-fitting pads- probably passed down by older siblings.

Just as Andy was going to call it a day, turning to head back to his office, the *dynamic duo* made their way to the door and Andy's curiosity got the better of him.

"Lenny... Lottie..." one of Coach K's athletes from the university women's team called after them as they raced to the exit, hockey stopping perfectly before touching the wall in a photo finish.

"I win" one of the girls chirped, flicking off her gloves and yanking her helmet off too.

"No.. I win" the other removed her gloves carefully, tucking them under her arm as she also pulled off her helmet.

The camp instructor caught up to them, handing a forgotten water bottle to the closest one. She chirped a quick thank you- smiling wide and catching Andy's gaze.

Andy's heart skipped a beat, his breath caught in his throat as he looked down at the little girls.

It couldn't be... could it? They looked so much like you...

Andy was still staring, his heart hammering in his chest as the girls were being ushered off the ice.

"Hey..." the little one that had flicked her gloves off haphazardly called up to him, "you look like my Daddy..." it took Andy a moment to realize she was looking right at him as he watched her bending to pick up her gloves.

"Hey, Lottie..." the little girl turned to her sister, "he looks like Daddy..." she said, stepping off the ice after gathering her things and stopping in front of Andy. She had to crane her neck to look up at him.

"Kinda..." the little one's sister joined her, "but he's got glasses..." she narrowed her eyes and tilted her head, really taking in Andy's features.

"Alright... come on, girls... your Grandma and Grandpa are waiting..." a camp coach encouraged the girls towards the locker room.

Andy still hadn't managed a word as both girls shrugged off his silence, making their way towards the locker rooms. Andy watched them go, feeling an unfamiliar tug in the pit as his stomach as the first girl turned to look at him once more.

"My Daddy's number 17 and he plays hockey..." a smile spread across her face that nearly knocked Andy right off his feet.

"How do I find out their last name?" Andy turned to one of Coach K's players were they were working to close up the rink.

~~~~

Your Dad stood in the lobby of the arena his gaze in the rafters as he scanned the rows of banners, landing on the lone retired jersey- he smiled at the Barber, number 17.

"Still not sure why they insisted on retiring that number..." Andy sighed, walking over to your Dad and offering him his outstretched hand.

"As I recall it was well deserved" your Dad chuckled, taking Andy's hand and clapping him on the back with the other, "heard you still hold the record..."

"It's nice to see you, y/Dad's/n" Andy's smile was genuine, even if his mind was racing a mile a minute.

"Nice to see you, Coach” your Dad smiled, "didn't know you were back..."

"Only been a few months now..." Andy said, "this'll be my first season..."

"Papa! Papa!" the girls called, running up to your Dad and tackle-hugging him around his legs. Your Dad grunted on impact, but gladly wrapped his arms around your girls.

"Nana said we can get ice cream" they both cheered excitedly as your Mom caught up to the group- hockey duffles in tow.

"Y/Mom's/N" Andy greeted with a nod, she looked from your Dad back to Andy while giving him a tense wordless nod in greeting. Andy's gaze dropped to the girls curiously.

"Y/Dad's/N" your Mom motioned to the door with a tense jerk of her head as you Dad took the duffles from her.

"Did y/sister's/n have kids?" Andy blurted out, unable to continue with the pleasantries.

Your parents looked at each other before looking back at Andy- words failing them.

"Auntie y/sister's/name doesn't have kids" Lottie's little voice cut through the silence, now tugging on your Dad's coat.

"Y/brother's/name, then?" Andy asked, scanning your parent's faces as he felt a lump building at the back of his throat.

Your parents looked so uncomfortable.

"Andy..." your Mom started and stopped.

"How old are they?" Andy's voice cracked, feeling a little light headed.

"I'm gonna be six soon..." Lottie chimed in, hanging on every word as Lenny tugged at her Grandpa- wanting nothing to do with this conversation and everything to do with their promised ice cream.

"Me too... I'm older then Lottie" Lenny chirped, letting go of your Dad's coat sleeve and turning back to Andy and your Mom.

"Are not" Lottie chirped, "Mommy says we're both 6..."

"I was borned first" Lenny shouted at her sister, hands at her little hips.

"We were borned the same day" Lottie chirped back, mirroring her sister as her hands went to her hips too. Your Mom knelt to the girls level, trying to distract them with talking ice cream flavors.

"They're mine?" Andy's heart was jackhammering in his chest as he watched your girls arguing, "did y/n have my kids and not even tell me?" his voice dropped low, imploring your parents for an answer.

Your parents shared another silent look as your Mom stood before Lenny's voice cut through the tension.

"My Mommy's name is y/n..." she innocently took Andy's hand, his breath catching in his chest as Lenny bounced up and down- excited at the mention of you.

"Come on, girls" your Dad smiled down at them, "let's go get that ice cream..."

"Ice cream" they both squealed, Lenny dropping Andy's hand just as fast as she had captured it. Andy felt an instant pang at the lose of her tiny - but mighty- hold.

The girls skipped away towards the front doors of the area with your Dad right behind them- a hockey duffle slung over each shoulder. Andy watched them until they were out of sight before turning back to your Mom with a deeply furrowed brow.

"Y/Mom's/N.... please?" his eyes searched her face, "you have to tell me..."

"I'm sorry, Andy" her voice was small. Sad even. She took his hand in hers for a brief moment, squeezing it before she turned and walked away.

~~~~

The door to Jo's office swung open, hinges protesting as it slammed against the wall.

"I'm so sorry, Ms Klien... I told him you weren't available..." Jo's assistant followed Andy into the room as he took an uninvited seat in the chair across from Jo's desk.

"It's OK, Anna," Jo reassured her assistant, "Mr Barber is a welcomed guest... even if he is interrupting my phone call..."

Andy glared at Jo before turning back to her assistant with a frown, he ran a hand over his beard without saying a word as he slumped back in the chair, scrubbing his hands over his entire face with a groan.

Jo nodded at Anna curtly before the young assistant silently took her leave and Jo ended the phone call she had been on, turning her attention back to the man sitting in front of her.

"Now... what was so important you had to come all the way downtown to interrupt my day, Andy? I thought you were running that camp this week? she asked.

It had been nearly 25 years since she had first met him- that scared little boy hiding under the kitchen table.

That was back when Jo was a new foster care case manager- Andy was her first client. And she had such a soft spot for him- having developed a close bond over the years. He was almost like a son to her in many ways.

"Well... I just found out I'm a fucking father..." he finally dropped his hands from his face, looking at her through red rimmed eyes.

"What? How did you find out? I didn't know you were..." Jo started, but Andy cut her off.

"I have twin girls... about 5 years old... they were enrolled in the camp" Andy blew out, feeling overwhelmed just admitting it aloud for the first time.

"Oh! So... they're... y/n's?" Jo worked out the timeline of it all as she took in Andy's wrecked state with growing concern.

"Yeah... they're y/n's..." Andy grunted, his hand raking through his beard again. He jumped from his seat, walking around the chair and started anxiously pacing.

"Do you think she knows you're back?" Jo asked.

"I dunno..." Andy blew out, "I didn't see y/n... they were there with her parents..."

"And? How was that?" Jo asked.

"They seemed surprised to see me... her Mom looked nervous" Andy scoffed, "but I've always had a good relationship with both her parents..." Andy turned, adding another lap to his pacing path.

Andy got quiet as a frown creased his brow- not offering anything else as several minutes stretched on.

Jo watched him carefully, narrowing her eyes as she waited, the silence hanging heavy in the air as Andy's anger returned to a simmer.

"You hungry?" she asked.

"What?" Andy stopped, mid stride to glare at her.

"You wanna go eat?" Jo asked.

"Why would I wanna go eat right now?" Andy huffed.

"I dunno..." Jo shrugged, "even dad's gotta eat..."

Andy scoffed with disgust as the corner of Jo's mouth turned up into a soft smile. As she waited some of that anger and tension bled from Andy's shoulders. He let them drop before rolling his eyes and blowing out an exhale, "yeah, let's go..."

Jo stood, grabbing her things and following him out of her office, grabbing her coat before shutting the door behind her.

~~

"And you're worried about what exactly?" Jo asked, dragging her fries through some Ketchup before bringing them to her mouth and chewing. They had walked to a nearby pub ordering food and beers as Andy shared more about the hockey camp, seeing your parents and learning about having twin daughters.

"You knew my dad..." Andy sighed, "you know where I came from, I didn't exactly have role models for parents... how am I supposed to do this?"

"All valid concerns, Andy... but you're not your parents. That being said, do you even want to do this?" Jo countered.

"What?" Andy frowned.

"Do you want anything to do with y/n and the girls?" she asked, "do you want to be a father to Lenny and..." Jo hesitated.

"Lottie... Eleanor and Charlotte... but they go by Lenny and Lottie" Andy said, "... and yes... I mean, it terrifies me... and I haven't thought of having kids since... since y/n and I were together... but we always talked about maybe...someday... nothing was for sure... but now?"

"Now?" Jo nudged, urging him to continue.

"Yeah... I'm a father... I have daughters..." his soft laugh was laced with utter shock.

Andy's answer surprised him- and that surprise was written all over his face as Jo just nodded, smiling so softly at him.

"What?" he insisted, feeling his stomach turn in knots. This was too much.

"You're a father... congratulations" she held her beer up to him in a cheers motion before being the cup to his lips and taking a sip.

"I'll have no clue what I'm doing..." Andy blew out an overwhelmed exhale.

"None of us do..." Jo admitted, with a soft chuckle.

"But, y/n..." Andy couldn't bring himself to say your name without snarling, "why the hell did she keep this from me?"

"I don't know, Andy" Jo said, "but you know who would know?"

"Her parents..." Andy huffed.

"I think you'd get a better answer from..."

"No!" Andy nearly shouted- shutting Jo down before she could continue.

Andy hated how calm she was being about this- it wasn't uncommon for Jo to keep a level head in any situation that was thrown her way. That's why she worked her way up to director of the foster care devision in your state about 10 years ago.

But Andy wanted Jo to be angry. He needed someone to feel as angry and betrayed as he felt in this moment.

Andy was a father. He had children that he didn't known about until today. And the mother of his children was the long lost love of his life.

Andy was finding it hard not to hate you in this moment. But how could he hate you for giving him something he hadn't even realized he wanted... until now.

"I can't... I'm just so fucking angry at her..." Andy tried keeping his words low, but he felt the rage simmering in his gut start to boil over as he thought of you keeping this from him all these years.

"And how do you think she could have felt when she found out?" Jo asked.

"Don't..." Andy spit, "don't do that..."

"Do what?" Jo asked, calmly, knowing very well what she was doing.

"That..." he huffed, leaning back against the corner of the booth as he yanked his hand through his hair- it was a floofy mess at this point- nervous hands running through it all afternoon.

"You always used to ask me how everyone else was feeling when I was angry...." Andy blew out a frustrated exhale.

"And..." Jo encouraged, gently.

"I hated it..." Andy snapped, "it made me angry..."

"You were a very angry kid..."

Jo wasn't being mean, and Andy knew it, but it didn't make it any easier to hear. His frown creased his brows as he stared down at the food on his plate- having picked at most of it without eating much.

"Are the girls angry?" Jo asked, curiously.

"No..." Andy's frown turned up into a small smile for the first time since arriving at her office, "they're... sweet..." -a lot like you- but he wasn't willing to admit that just yet, "and they're really talented on the ice... well above their peers... but... if y/n didn't want anything to do with me... why did she let have them play..." the rest of Andy's words caught in his throat.

"You know a lot of parents enjoy teaching their children things... having similar hobbies can be a good way to connect..." Jo offered.

Andy snorted before adding bitterly, "they don't even know me..."

"Well, they seem to know of you..." Jo smiled, "and, who knows, maybe someday when you're ready... you'll teach them some stuff..."

"Y/N doesn't want me to know them..." Andy's brows furrowed, "she didn't even have the decency to tell me I was a fucking father..."

"How are you so sure she doesn't want you to know them?" Jo asked as Andy just glared at her from across the table, daring her to continue.

"Andy..." Jo paused, choosing her words carefully, "you said so yourself, they seem to know of you… that doesn't just happen... that was a conscious effort on y/n's part... those girls know about you, their father... they play hockey and were enrolled in a camp at the university where you and y/n met, the girls recognized you- even if they didn't know that it was exactly you, they know your number and that you still play hockey... that doesn't scream keeping you a secret to me."

"But she never told me..." Andy sighed, "how could she have my kids and never even tell me..."

"Andy..." Jo blew out a sigh, taking her glasses off and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"What?" Andy asked.

Did you give y/n much of a choice?" Jo tried, softly. "If they are almost 6 that means she got pregnant right around the time you left... did you even tell her you were leaving? Or where you were going? Did she have any way of contacting you?"

"Of course I told her I was leaving" Andy frowned, "I... we broke up and then I left... why would she need to contact me?"

Jo just waited.

"How was I supposed to know she'd get pregnant?" Andy threw his hands up in the air before bringing his fists down on the table- rattling their beer bottles.

"You were kind enough to leave me a voicemail when you decided to leave. But I never got an international number and I didn't hear from you for over a year after you graduated and left the country" Jo reminded him.

Andy was quiet. Quiet for a long time. Jo just sat there with him- letting him process.

"I can't do this..." he finally admitted, "I just... I missed so much with them... I missed out on all of it."

Andy drops his head into his hands, feeling a heaviness take over. When he finally took a shaky overwhelmed inhale it was tearful.

"You didn't miss it all, Andy," Jo reassured, gently, "And now's your chance to show up for those little girls, you can do this for them and for you."

"I just... I don't know if I can..." he looked up at Jo- but this time with sadness swimming in his blue gaze.

"And why do you say that?" Jo asked after a moment of silence.

"Because I'm so fucking angry..." Andy gritted through his clenched jaw and several people around the pub turned to look at where Andy and Jo were sitting.

Jo gave a silent nod, letting the pub patrons know everything was fine before turning her attention back to Andy.

"Andy..." she started, "it's OK to be angry... but now you have to decide what you're going to do with that anger. Are you going to be pissed at y/n and punish those sweet little girls for it... or are you going to get to know them? Be the father that you deserved... you know they're almost the age you were when I first met you..."

~~~~

The memories rushed back to you the moment you pushed through the doorway of the arena. It didn't look quite the same after all these years- but it sure smelled the same. The brisk smell of ice with a hint of stale popcorn and battered corn dogs from the concessions. Your nerve endings were buzzing, floating on about a gallon of coffee and fear based adrenaline. Everything in your sympathetic system screaming at you to flee- but you couldn't.

You always knew this day would come. And when it did, you told yourself you'd face it head on.

~~

Your Mom had told you the second you walked through the door after returning from your work trip. The girls practically tackled you to the floor as they wrapped you in their little arms- hugging you so tight it nearly knocked the air from your lungs. Your Mom started in as the girls told you all about their hockey camp...

"He's back..." she greeted you with little more, watching tensely as the girls scrambled into your lap where you sat on the floor of your parent's entry way, shoes and coat still on.

"Who's back, Mom?" you looked up at her, laughing as the girls peppered you with sticky kisses.

"Y/brother's/name?" you asked, wracking your brain for another *he* as your Mom crossed her arms over her chest. The girls finally climbing out of your lap while your Dad offered you a hand up.

"He's coaching now..." your Mom continued, cryptically, "he's got some nerve coming back here... he's done playing, did he think you wouldn't find out?"

Your heart sank like a lead balloon to the pit of your stomach. Looking between your parents with wide, terrified eyes.

"He saw the girls..." your Mom added as you scrambled up, sprinting to the main level  bathroom. You made it in time to empty the entire contents of your stomach into the toilet.

It took you several minutes to clean up, trying desperately to compose yourself before facing your parents and daughters again. Your mind racing.

"You OK, kiddo?" your Dad met you in the hallway with a full glass of water.

"No" you choked, "Dad... how... when..."

"He took the head coaching position after the last one retired. He said he's only been here a few months..."

"You talked to him? Did you and Mom tell him?" the whispered questions shook, tears streaming down your face.

"He found me while I was waiting for Mom and the girls..." your Dad said, pulling you into a hug, "we didn't tell him... he had already worked it out on his own."

"And he talked to the girls?" you felt nauseous.

"They talked to him mostly..." your Dad smiled, giving you a squeeze, "you know how chatty they can be..."

"And..." your stomach churned, threatening to dry heave, "did they know?"

You weren't even sure you wanted him to answer that.

"No... I don't think so" your Dad offered you a soft smile as you pulled out of his hug, sniffling as your Mom came into the room.

"Lenny recognized Andy from the pictures you've shown them... well, sort of... he wears glasses now" she sighed, leaning into your Dad as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Oh, god" you whined, bringing a hand to your temple- feeling the tension building there. You crossed the hallway into the kitchen and sank down on a stool at the counter.

"Where are the girls?" you asked, looking around.

"They found the souvenirs you got them" your Mom said.

"Oh" you blew out an exhale. Honestly, you couldn't find it in you to care that the girls found the pen and pads of paper you took from your hotel room.

"Y/N... Don't go back to the camp... just leave- he doesn't know where you live, he won't find you" your Mom rushed as your Dad frowned down at her, chastising her lightly as he tsked her name.

"We said we wouldn't interfere" he tried reminding her.

"Y/Dad's/N, what if he tries to take them from her..." your Mom's eyes filled with tears, panic distorting her features.

"Andy wouldn't do that" you Dad remained calm- just about the only thing keeping you grounded at the moment as he reached out- giving your arm a reassuring squeeze.

"Y/N..." he began, softly, "it might be time to..."

"I can't do this..."you sniffled, "not right now..." you wiped at your eyes, standing from your stool and taking a deep breath before you plastered a smile on your face and turned to walk into the living room.

"Mommy... look... I wrote my name..." Lottie chirped scrambling up into your lap when you sat on the couch in front of where they were kneeling around the coffee table- trying out their new pens and paper pads.

"Me too, me too!" Lenny squealed, handing you her paper. You smiled when you noticed her R in Eleanor was backwards.

"What? You wrote these all by yourselves? You didn't get any help?" you played along.

"Yes! Yes!" Lenny and Lottie squealed excitedly.

"They look amazing" you smiled, hugging them tightly and kissing the crowns of your sweet baby girls' heads.

~~~~

The blur of your daughter zooming past the boards and then doubling back as she stopped to wave at you through the glass had you blinking back to reality- the last day of hockey camp- scrimmage day!

You smiled, waving back at her- not noticing Andy until he spoke- standing right next to you.

"Is that Lottie or Lenny?" his deep voice sent a shiver up your spin.

"Lottie" you spoke, hardly above a whisper as you stared straight ahead, watching as Charlotte zipped away, "she does that same quick turn on her toes that you do..."

"I noticed..." he said. You still couldn't bring yourself to look at him, but you could tell from his voice that he was smiling.

"And Lenny's..." he continued.

"Got your speed..." you finished, finally turning to look up at him, "and that quick wrist flick shot you do..." when he met your gaze it was as if the air was punched from your lungs.

"Hi, y/n" his voice was calm, but didn't exactly sound thrilled to see you.

"Hi, Andy" you managed to maintain eye contact even though it felt like your entire body was trembling.

"Come with me to my office" he gestured in the direction of the locker rooms, somewhere between an offer and a demand.

"Yeah" you blew out a heavy exhale, looking to the ice where the girls continued warming up and then up to the stands where your parents sat nervously eyeing you and Andy. You gave them a quick nod - letting them know you were OK- before turning to follow Coach Barber.

~~~~

The second Andy's office door clicked shut his entire facade of calm flamed away- managing to make it to the opposite side of his desk before letting his emotions boil over.

"What the fuck, y/n?" he spit your name, "I'm a fucking father?"

You winced, standing behind a chair in front of his desk- needing as much space between you two as possible. When you didn't say anything, he continued- even louder this time.

"I have twin daughters?" his voice jumped uncharacteristically high, "were you ever going to tell me?"

"I was..." you managed, gripping the back of the chair for support.

"It's been 5 years..." he bellowed causing you to startle and recoil.

"I was going to tell you... I tried telling you..." you cursed your voice for warbling.

He frowned at you from across the desk-but taking a deep breath- he continued with more restraint.

"Y/N... what the hell?" he blew out an exhale, the anger bleeding from his expression. He just looked kinda sad now.

"Andy... I tried..." you swore, tears prickling at the corner of your eyes.

"Well not hard enough... what if I hadn't taken the coaching position? Would I have ever found out about them?"

You attempted unsuccessfully to blink back your tears, walking around the chairs in front of his desk and sitting down slowly- feeling unsure as Andy's scowl returned.

"Andy... please... let me explain..." this wasn't going as you had planned.

"You're crying?" his laugh was bitter, "that's rich..." he scoffed, "you shoulda told me..."

Your nerves did a 180- quickly shifting to anger.

"You mean after your beautiful parting sentiment? What did you tell me again?... fuck you, I never wanna see you again...” your voice was shrill, a little unhinged.

"We both said things we didn't mean..." he insisted.

"You sure about that?" you snarled.

"What the fuck does that mean?" his emotions were starting to boil over again.

"You told me I was dead to you..." you cursed the sob that escaped your throat as more tears streamed freely down your face.

"Y/N..." Andy's voice was strained with emotion.

"That doesn't exactly scream father of the year, Andy..." regretting the words the moment they were out there.

"You bitch..." Andy swore, the look he gave you was pure hatred.

"Andy... I didn't mean... you just..." your words were getting all jumbled, "I never imagined you wanting them in your life..."

"That's not for you to decide, y/n..." he snarled, standing abruptly and slamming his palms against his desk.

"You wanted nothing to do with me" you yelled, "you made that very clear when you left" your words were venomous, "you changed your number... I had no way of getting a hold of you..."

"You should've tried harder" he was yelling now too.

"I couldn't do anything..." your voice cracked, "I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep... my Mom finally dragged me to the doctor when I couldn't stop throwing up. That's when I found out about the girls... I hardly survived you leaving..." you were sobbing now- and it broke Andy all over again.

"They are the reason I'm still here. Not you. Not the father of my children... the man I though I'd spend the rest of my life with... Them. I'm here because of them..." you stood up, without another word- slamming his office door on your way out.

It was silent for a few agonizing moments, Andy staring at the door of his office - unable to move. Unable to breath.

He fell back into his chair. Tears burning in his eyes. His heart aching as he buried his face in his hands.

"Fuck..." he blew out, lowly. He had no fucking clue what to do.

~~~~

It took you 20 minutes of sobbing and drive heaving in the women's locker room before you could bring yourself to join your parents back in the stands.

"Hey, kiddo" the sound of your Dad's voice nearly made you lose it all over again- but biting your trembling bottom lip you took a seat in front of them on the bleachers- usually reserved for student seating.

"Got you a hot cocoa... but it might be luke-warm cocoa now" you Dad chuckled at his own joke, handing you the to-go cup.

"How did that go?" you Mom asked, gently.

"Awful" you blew out an exhale, scanning the ice for your girls and smiling -a little forcibly- when you found them.

"They're on different teams" you Dad offered, "Lenny's got two goals already and Lottie's got one..."

"Oh, boy" your laugh was watery as you shook your head- knowing how competitive the girls get.

"Did Andy say anything about custody?" your Mom pressed. You closed your eyes- willing yourself to take a deep calming breath.

You heard your Dad hiss your Mom's name from behind you.

"Well... she needs to be prepared... she kept them from him all this time..." your Mom whisper hissed back at your Dad.

You knew your Mom didn't mean for her words to hurt- her anxiety was getting the better of her- but knowing that didn't make the words hurt any less.

"Thanks, Mom" your eyes were brimming with tears again as you stood up, excusing yourself from the stands.

~~~~

You found yourself standing in the tunnel - where the door to the rink funnels out to the locker rooms. You probably weren't supposed to be back here- but you needed a minute. You needed a whole handful of minutes.

The reunion with Andy didn't go anything like you had hoped. It hadn't gone at all. But you couldn't blame him.

"Had a feeling I might find you down here..." Andy's voice married with a puck hitting the plexi-glass at just the right time had you chirping.

You flinched, turning away from the glass and right into the hard wall of Andy's chest, his hands went protectively to your arms- your heart fluttered, jumping up into your throat- but you forced yourself to swallow it down.

"I... I'm sorry" you murmured, putting your hand to his chest- *bad idea... his chiseled muscles were just as defined as you remembered*- pushing off and taking a step back, he cleared his throat, also moving to put some space between you.

You both stood there in a heavy silence for what felt like too long, until you couldn't take it anymore.

"Andy... I had no clue you were back, if I did, I would have..." you blew out an exhale, "I swear I tried to contact you... I was scared... but I promise you- I want you to know our girls... they know everything about you..."

"They do?" his voice was soft, sounding surprised.

"Yes" your eyes had filled with tears- your words watery, blowing out a soft laugh that almost sounded relieved.

"Andy... they know you're... were overseas playing hockey..." you started.

"What else did you tell them? Do they know how we ended?" he watched you with interest.

"No... no... I've only ever told them the good things about you..." you swore.

"Bullshit, you had every right to tell them how awful I was..." Andy scoffed, turning his attention back to the scrimmage and seeing Lenny on the ice.

"Lenny" you offered, nodding to the ice.

"I know" his voice cracked and it made your heart ache.

"Andy... I promise... when the girls were born and for a very long time after..." you hesitated and he blinked back to you- waiting for you to continue, "I was still so in love with you... and I only ever wanted them to love you too..."

"Oh" he blinked down at you, his eyes going wide as his big hand met his beard- rubbing over it as he got lost in thought.

"Oh?" you know you were pressing your luck- but you needed to know what he was thinking.

"What do you want me to say, y/n?" he let his hands drop to the boards, leaning there as he looked out at the rink. Andy looked tired and it made you wonder if he got any sleep last night or if that was just you tossing-and-turning and feeling sick to your stomach.

"I... don't know," you admitted, "do you... want to get to know them?"

"Of course I do" Andy shot up to his full height, he sounded so sure of himself and it tugged at your heart.

"OK... good" you tried to bite back the smile threatening to crack your face in two, your eyes watery as your heart bloomed in your chest.

"Good" Andy's voice cracked, and he coughed, clearing his throat as a soft smile curled at the corner of his lips.

~~~~

"Mommy! Mommy!" the girls squealed in unison when they noticed you standing at the door- having stayed in the tunnel with Andy, watching the rest of the scrimmage in silence.

The girls were once again the last ones off the ice- they always were- Lenny having this superstition about being the very last person to touch the ice. Always.

It made for some long nights after hockey practice and games.

"Hi, sweethearts" you smiled, hugging both of them tight.

"Mommy, my team won!" Lottie smiled up at you, handing you her stick as she removed her gloves.

"I scored more goals!" Lenny huffed, crossing her arms with her signature scowl.

"You both played so well" you smiled down at them before they turned their attention to the only other person in the tunnel with you.

He had remained quiet- watching you interact with the girls- a reverent look in his gaze when you caught his eye.

"Hey... it's the guy that looks like Daddy" Lenny wobbled over to him on her skates- reaching to take his hand again as she smiled up at him.

The air crackled with tension in the tiny space as both you and Andy gasped. Seeing Lenny take Andy's hand somehow re-righted the universe for you and you spoke from your heart before your mind could think better of it.

"He is Daddy" the words tumbled from your lips and your eyes went wide. Meeting Andy's equally wide eyes as you held your breath, awaiting the girls response.

You and Andy blinked back to the girls- they were looking at each other- a silent twin conversation as Lenny nodded at her sister.

Lottie moved towards her Father, reaching up and taking his other hand. Your heart feeling so overwhelmingly full as you watched them.

Andy looked up at you, tears brimming his eyes and words caught in his throat.

You were just as lost for words. Tears freely streaming down your face.

"Wanna skate with us?" Lottie asked, looking up at Andy with the sweetest smile.

"Yes" Andy's voice was hardly above a whisper, "I'd love that..."

The girls chirped, dropping his hands to pick up their gloves and sticks.

Andy wiped his eyes in the elbow crook of his team sweater, trying and failing to swallow the soft sob in his throat. When he pulled his arm away from his face he was smiling, tears in his eyes.

You smiled at him, wiping a tear with the heel of your palm as a watery laugh bubbled out of your fluttering chest.

"Come on, Daddy" Lenny called from the ice impatiently.

"Daddy... you can't catch me" Lottie giggled, flying by the door as Andy's heart nearly burst right out of his chest.

The dividers were made by the lovely and talented @firefly-graphics ❤️

All images (other then Andy) from Getty.

As always, thank you for all the love and support. If you like this, please consider commenting and reblogging- it really goes a long way in motivating writers- come geek out with me!! Thank you!! ❤️

If you can’t get enough of hockey romances check out my other hockey AU Lucky Charms.

Follow @drabblewithfrannybarneslibrary for my latest fics!!

[iamstevessmile]

Hello Shay ! I’ve been loving the civilian!reader fics, and I had an idea for a fic like that, but with a twist 🫣 reader is bucky’s sweet civilian gf, literal definition of sunshine, basically a lover, not a fighter. She’s a ballet teacher at a local studio (hint hint wink wink). And she lives with him and the team at the tower. One night, while the team is out on a mission, Hydra ambushes the tower and tries to take the reader hostage. And when they learn about it, they rush back home in order to save her. Meanwhile, Bucky and Tony check the footage just to see his precious sweet girl absolutely kicking ass. And I mean hardcore, like she even does the entire widow thigh-neck move. And everyone is like??? And Bucky’s just absolutely fucking HORNY bc “hell I’ve been in between those thighs so many times, you’re telling me I could’ve DIED???”

okay YESSSSS we live for a badass gf who appears to be nothing but sweet sunshine and killer on the inside. Fluffy fluffy and smutty smutty

-

"Be back soon, darling" Bucky cooed, kissing you again and again while everyone boarded the jet, getting in a few more pecks before having to leave on a mission.

"C'mon lover boy, the faster we get going, the faster you get back to your sweetheart!" Tony yelled, shaking his head watching Bucky look a you with puppy eyes, not wanting to leave his sunshine behind. "He's so down bad, I swear"

"Can you blame him, she's so cute" Sam smiled, watching the two of you cling onto each other for a few extra seconds, your form hidden, engulphed in Bucky's thick arms. "Look, you can't even see her when tin man hugs her"

"I'll miss you baby" you kissed Bucky's pouty lips, caressing his scruffy cheek before letting him run off, your cheeks heating up when he blew you another kiss before the doors closed.

"You're a little sap" Nat teased while Bucky blushed, strapping on his gear as the engine roared to life, rumbling as they took off. Bucky had 0 shame in everyone knowing how much he loved you and it started from the day he met you. He got called out immediately, questioned over the dopey smile he had on his face, the blush on his cheeks instantly giving him away.

Soon after you'd started dating, Bucky wanted you closer to him and he didn't have to ask Tony twice; his room was moved to a floor above so you'd have more space to live together. The last thing Bucky wanted was for you to get hurt because of his job. He felt more relaxed knowing you were in he safety of the compound on days where he was away.

"Who would've thought Bucky would be the romantic type"

"I did" Steve groaned, having seen Bucky's flirty side for years but he knew this was different. He hadn't seen his bestfriend like this before, clearly in utterly and desperately in love with you.

"It's adorable" Sam laughed while Bucky continued to smile, scrolling through his phone looking at pictures of you. His camera rolled was filled with various images of you baking, cuddling, sleeping, doing the most mundane things in the world, each making his heart flutter. He felt a pang in his chest, momentarily worried about if you were safe without him, the same anxiety he always felt whenever he had to leave you.

-

You stretched across the sofa, sipping on some hot chocolate and putting on your favorite comfort movie, deciding to have a relaxing night to yourself since the compound was empty. You didn't like when Bucky had to leave but you knew it was part of his job, slipping the fuzzy throw blanket over you shoulders before hitting play.

It had hardly been a few minutes before the screen went black making you blink, wondering if you'd sat on the remote by accident. Suddenly the rest of the lights turned off, a blasting sound coming from the entrance before you heard rushed footsteps nearing you.

Your heart started to race, having no time to hide or think, coming face to face with a number of masked men all towering over you. One grabbed you, pulling out a camera and hitting record, shoving it close to your face with a sinister smile.

"Look who we have, soldat"

-

The jet hadn't been flying for long, a sudden beeping alarm from the security system alerting Tony to check the cameras. His eyes grew wide, seeing the Hydra logo take over the screen before switching the live footage from the hacked system.

"Guys! There's been an attack on the compound!" Tony shouted from the computer, everyone rushing to see what came on screen, billows of smoke emitting from the main wing. Suddenly the screen went black, replaced with a man swearing a black mask, walking around the common room.

"Welcome Mr. Stark" His voice was thick with a Russian accent, the video panning to show the other agents infiltrating the tower. "Where is our soldat"

"You stay the fuck away from my girl" Bucky growled, his heart hammering in his chest, nearly crying when he saw someone grab you and shove you into a chair.

"She's precious to you, isn't she. We'll see you soon" he laughed, before the stream cut off leaving Bucky wanting to scream in frustrating, anxiety clouding all his thoughts, just wanting to get back to you to protect you.

"We have to go help her!" Bucky paced up and down while Tony rerouted the jet, speeding back to save you. "How the fuck do I know what's going on, there has to be something" He pleaded, hating that he no longer had eyes on you.

"Hold on, let me get into the back up feed" Tony tapped away at different keys, getting into the security system, selecting the camera for the common room where you were being held. "Here, I got it! I-Holy shit..."

The sound of screaming screeched through the speaker but it wasn't coming from you.

No.

"B-Barnes, you're girl just killed someone with her thighs" Tony stared at the footage with wide eyes while Bucky and the others watching in awe as your legs wrapped around one of the agents' heads, snapping his neck before flipping over and attacking another one of your assailants.

Bucky nearly choked, watching the men drop to the floor like flies, your arms and legs holding onto the men with a vice like grip until they fell, hardly breaking a sweat each time.

"Do you understand how many time's I've been in between those thighs, you're telling me she could've killed me?!!" Bucky practically moaned, seeing you fight, all his anxiety melting into lust, his cock straining against the thick material of his tac suit.

"Jesus Bucky, you're gonna poke an eye out" Sam's face scrunched up while Bucky adjusted himself, biting his lip to keep from making a sound, his tip leaking, breathing out a sigh of relief seeing you perfectly safe.

"Can't help me, look at her. Better count me out for movie night, m'gonna spent the whole night fuckin'-

"Okay, got it, you're a ridiculous, horny, pervert, and y/n probably won't walk for a week, will you please put that away" Sam shook his head, walking away when he tent in Bucky's pants got worse.

"I'm sorry, we've been housing a Hydra killer all this time?" Tony shook his head as the jet landed, still in disbelief over what everyone had just seen, both impressed and 100% scared of what else you were capable of. "You sure know how to pick em' Barnes"

As soon as the jet hit the floor, Bucky was sprinting off into he compound, running to find you, relief flooding his veins when he saw you sipping on your tea, seated on the couch again. You jumped up from your spot, jumping into your boyfriends arms, clinging onto him while the others also entered, glad to see you were okay. They got to work, clearing up the room, rounding up the few agents that were knocked out for questioning while also giving you and Bucky some privacy.

"Babygirl" Bucky hugged you tightly in his arms, burying his face into your neck, inhaling your soft scent, hoisting you up so your legs were wrapped around his waist. "Are you okay doll, are you hurt?"

"I'm fine Bucky" you reassured him, pecking his soft lips, letting him check you over before feeling satisfied you were okay, not finding a scratch on your body.

"Everything okay Buck?" you cocked your head noticing your boyfriends shift in demeanor, his soft baby blue eyes darkening into something else, biting his lip.

"Baby, I had to hold back from pulling my cock out on the jet and touching myself, you know how much that hurt? How hard I was the entire time, struggling not to jet my dick off watching how sexy you looked" He walked you up to your shared bedroom, his erection shamelessly pushing against your clothed core, not bothering to hide it one bit. "Where have you been hiding all that princess"

"Not hiding Bucky, just-never needed to do that" You shrugged shyly, squeezing your thigs around his waist playfully, making him groan as he dropped you on the bed.

"Can't wait to keep my face between these pretty legs that could kill me" He groaned, slicing your clothes off with his pocket knife before diving in without a care in the world, eating you like a man starved, tapping your thighs to wrap around his head.

"C'mon doll, squeeze em'" he moaned, humping against the bed feeling your muscles flex, his eyes rolling back, nearly cumming against the mattress at the strength he could feel, knowing you were holding back from hurting him.

you could kill him if you want.

Fuck, he was going to cum so fast.

-

"Oh god! Bucky!! PLease! D-DOn't STOP"

"That's it gorgeous, so good to me, so fuckin' pretty. won't last baby, gonna cum for you!"

"They're going at it like rabbits, didn't you sound proof their room after the first incident?"

"I did. This is after the sound proofing"

"Gonna fuck your thighs next baby, you got my cock so hard, almost creamed my pants like a teenager watching, you, oh shit-shit-m'so sensitive, keep clenching around my dick, that's it-fuckkk"

"Jesus christ, it's been an hour"

"Did you forget he has the super soldier serum? They're not gonna stop any time soon"

"I'M CUMMING JAMES"

"Gonna fucking cum for you y/n, OH FUCK YESSS you're so sexy when you fight baby, m'gonna fuckin' cum again, I can't stop"

"He's really gonna go all night, isn't he"

"Can you blame him?"