iguessthisismenow

[iguessthisismenow]

you know why a lot of poets were tortured??? bc they were ga-

[iguessthisismenow]

So I was watching a short video clip of Karlie Kloss and Josh Kushner leaving a restaurant in Miami on July 28th.

I don’t claim to be a body language expert but I am a people watcher. The entire chain of events seems pretty off at least by my standards.

As they leave the restaurant Karlie hurries to keep up with him and is caught reaching out for his arm. Did he forget he was with her???

When she catches his arm from behind he just continues at his fast pace not slowing down to walk WITH her ( as a “normal” couple would / should do) The lack of intimacy is screaming at this scene. No smiles, no closeness, no connection, no conversation just numbing emptiness.

As he reaches the car he drops her hand and walks around to the drivers side not even making any gestures to her or even bothering to look her way.

Karlie then opens the passenger side of the car for herself. The energy she gives off is of someone who is alone and is used to being alone. She had no expectations for him to open her car door or display any form of intimacy.

Karlie then gets in the car and that’s the end of the clip. But the taste it left still lingers.

Like I said I’m not a body language expert but I’ve people watched all my life.

This was a pathetic display of what a real and or happy relationship should not look like.

No communication, no eye contact, no closeness, no happiness, no shared bond, no protective gestures Or curiosity from her “man” and their energy feels separate as opposed to how a united married couple’s should feel. You would never know they just shared a dinner together. They probably spent the entire dinner on their respective phones.

One can only hope . Free Karlie Kloss. It’s time to go

Please share any thoughts if you have them but like WTF?

[iguessthisismenow]

scrolling through the internet and seeing that each camp has taken it as full on proof of their own position has me reeling as always, like i am so enthralled by this dynamic that she has with her fans. how taylor manages to do all these wild things and still everyone will just work with whatever, like creek water shifting around a boulder thrown in its way 🙈

[iguessthisismenow]

[iguessthisismenow]

[iguessthisismenow]

SO YOU AGREE REP ISN’T ALL ABOUT JOE

[iguessthisismenow]

I've just gone down the rabbit hole of watching youtubers react to Robin. They are literally so confused by this song its so fun.

[iguessthisismenow]

Lighting round! TTPD+A Songs, their public meanings and their actual meanings (red text means im unsure):

Fortnight - Matty - Taylor's public and private personas

TTPD - Matty/maybe Joe - Taylor from Karlie's perspective

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys - Joe breaking Taylor's heart - Joe acting like a child and ruining their bearding contract that started off really good

Down Bad - probably Matty, maybe Joe - Taylor hating bearding and loving Karlie and hating how distant she and Karlie have to be

So Long London - Toe breakup - Taylor being terrified of the power toe held over her relationship(???)

But Daddy I Love Him - Loving Matty (maybe travis?) despite the public hearing him - loving women/karlie despite public opinion that its wrong/mocking the heteronormative ideals she's been slotted into (you should see your faces!!)

Fresh Out The Slammer - idek what the public are supposed to think. Maybe this idea that she was dating Joe while in love with matty?? Who knows. - Her bearding relationships being like prison while she steals as much time with Karlie as she can

Florida - escaping from the drama of her life for a bit - same. Maybe from karlies perspective

Guilty as Sin? - emotionally cheating on Joe with matty - being queer in a society where it's seen as sinful

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me - taylor vs her haters within the entertainment industry

I can fix him (no really I can) - matty?? Maybe travis - another bearding song, this time about Taylor taming a difficult beard / maybe just a fun song she wrote

loml - Joe - maybe karlie and the way they both struggled with bearding

I can do it with a broken heart - taylor performing in one of the biggest tours ever during a breakup - Taylor's betrayal when her masters were sold, her being able to rerecord her albums with stunning success

Smallest man who ever lived - joe / matty - her trust of the man who sold her masters

The Alchemy - Travis - Karlie at the Eras tour

Clara Bow - how women are treated in the music industry

The Black Dog - Joe - no clue

imgonnagetyouback - Joe??? Matty??? - potentially laying the groundwork for getting back together with karlie

The Albatross - Taylor's reputation - the open secret of taylor being queer in the music industry and how that's frowned upon / potentially taylor coming out soon

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus - Taylor being in love with Matty for 10 years or something - Karlie and Taylor beading and both loathing it / potential set up for kaylor reunion

How did it end? - Taylor being angry at people being nosey over her relationship ending - almost coming out during lover only to be forced back in the closet

So High School - Being in love with travis - openly mocking travis and even the idea that she loves him

I Hate It Here - hating the public eye / rebounding from Joe with matty - hating the public eye / hating bearding

thanK you aIMee - hating Kim K - maybe hating KK, maybe others who are more homophobic

I look in people's windows - losing joe/matty - having to be separate from karlie for bearding / potential kaylor reunion set up

The Prophecy - Taylor wondering if she will ever find love - her wanting to find a place in her career where she can finally come out

Cassandra - the kimye drama - taylor worrying about coming out

Peter - a kid she loved when she was also a kid - the failed coming out

The Bolter - Taylor not being able to commit ?? - not sure, maybe setting up for a kaylor reunion

Robin - THEY HAVE NO IDEA. THEY HAVE NO CLUE. THEY CANNOT EXPLAIN IT. I'VE SEEN PEOPLE SAY ITS ABOUT HER FREAKING CAT - her son! her eldest SON! there is NO other explanation!

The Manuscript - Joe/Matty/maybe Joe Jonas or one of Taylor's old boyfriends who were much older than her - Karlie bearding with Josh

LMK if you want credit for a theory, I'm not sure how a lot of them started :)

[iguessthisismenow]

Hmmm what if…..

Listening to The Tortured Poets Department and thinking….what if this is from Karlie’s perspective?

Like girl, stop being so dramatic and tragic and let’s just BE TOGETHER!

Why are you sacrificing us to this idea of being the great poet? They don’t hold you, they don’t know you, they don’t decode you or troll you like me.

I’m the one who actually knows you….stop picking the fans/industry and choose us instead!

You left your typewriter at my apartment

Straight from the tortured poets department

I think some things I never say

Like, who uses typewriters anyway?

But you're in self-sabotage mode

Throwin' spikes down on the road

But I've seen this episode and still loved the show

Who else decodes you?

And who's gonna hold you like me?

And who's gonna know you if not me?

I laughed in your face and said

You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith

This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots

And who's gonna hold you like me?

Nobody, no-fucking-body, nobody

You smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate

We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist

I scratch your head, you fall asleep

Like a tattooed Golden Retriever

But you awaken with dread, pounding nails in your head

But I've read this one where you come undone

I chose this cyclone with you

And who's gonna hold you like me? (Who's gonna hold you, who's gonna hold you?)

And who's gonna know you like me? (Who's gonna know you?)

I laughed in your face and said

You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith

This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots

And who's gonna hold you like me?

No-fucking-body, nobody (who's gonna hold you, who's gonna hold you?)

(Who's gonna hold you, gonna know you, won't control you?) Nobody

Sometimes I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me

But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave

And I had said that to Jack about you so I felt seen

Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be

'Cause we're crazy

So tell me, who else is gonna know me?

At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger

And put it on the one people put wedding rings on

And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding

Who's gonna hold you? (Who?) Me

Who's gonna know you? (Who?) Me

And you're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith

This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're two idiots

Who's gonna hold you?

You left your typewriter at my apartment

Straight from the tortured poets department

Who else decodes you? (Who? Who?)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Jack Antonoff / Taylor Swift

The Tortured Poets Department lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

See all

[iguessthisismenow]

I know when I heard the line "you know ball I know aristotle" I did a double take.

This song isn't even trying to be nice, it's mocking insults disguised by an upbeat tempo. It actually reminds me of the song "Hey ya" by OutKast. a lot of people think it's a happy song because they don't really pay attention to the lyrics.

If taylor changed the song to be slower and a different key, without changing any litigation at all, people would notice that it's not a happy song.

I feel so high school every time I look at you (derogatory)

I want to find you in a crowd, just to hide from you (also derogatory)

I’m sinking, our fingers entwined (this makes me feel low)

Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights (I’m so fucking embarrassed, is my face actually red?)

I’m watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night (I bet this is how you spend your time you childish loser)

You’re friends are around so be quiet (don’t slip up idiot, no one can find out)

I’m trying to stifle my sighs (I’m so bored with this)

Are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me? It’s just a game but really (I have to be with you and it’s killing me)

No one’s ever had me, Not like you (I don’t date men)

You knew what you wanted and boy you got her (I’m so good at this, you don’t know what you’re in for)

I feel like laughing in the middle of practice (we’re rehearsing and I can’t take you seriously)

I’m hearing voices like a madman (this is making me crazy)

You know how to ball, I know Aristotle ( Travvy throw ball good)

It’s true, swear, scout’s honour (I swear it’s true, however unlikely it may seem!!!!)

This song is HILARIOUS, it’s the new London Boy. She really isn’t holding back, she thinks he’s a dumb, redneck idiot and isn’t afraid to let him know

[iguessthisismenow]

K*m K*rdashian: "Taylor made me mad so I'm going to shit all over Karlie to try and see if I can ruin the first Passover that her eldest might finally be old enough to truly participate in!"

Swiifers: "OMG you're a GENIUS Kim! You know Taylor better than Taylor knows Taylor, of COURSE Taylor didn't mean that TTPD post where she was basically like "Don't attack anyone over TTPD you stupid fucking idiots", Mother Taylor thirsts for unending rivers of blood and revenge, thank you High Priest Kim, we'd never be able to decipher what Taylor *really* wants without you 😍"

Sounds about right from the cult that Taylor herself very clearly hates.

[iguessthisismenow]

[iguessthisismenow]

Taylor Swift’s TTPD Song Theory: The Alchemy

I believe The Alchemy is about Karlie Kloss showing up at the Eras Tour postpartum, while Travis Kelce is another red herring. And that this is Taylor writing from Karlie’s perspective. Here’s how:

The Alchemy

This happens once every few lifetimes.

It’s how IVF works. Not all embryos get implanted. Not all pregnancies are viable. (Higher miscarriage rate than traditional conception). It feels like a miracle when it results in a healthy baby.

These chemicals hit me like white wine./He jokes that it’s HEROIN but this time with an ‘E’

Epidural used to assist childbirth can make you feel drowsy. That’s where the ‘E’ comes from. Mama also had to give up white wine due to pregnancy, so she hadn’t felt tipsy in a while.

Heroin + e = Heroine

Taylor in Don’t Blame Me: My drug is my baby I’ll be using for the rest of my life

Reputation muse is her heroine.

Also, how sweet it is to call your wife a heroine for giving birth to your child. I’m grinning from ear-to-ear every time I hear this line.

What if I told you I'm back?

The hospital was a drag

Worst sleep that I ever had

This is Karlie showing up at The Eras Tour concert only days postpartum.

I circled you on a map

Confirming that she was a muse for reputation. (End Game: I buried hatchets but I keep maps of where I put them.)

Or, even sweeter interpretation: They drew circle around their baby in the ultrasound pictures taken during pregnancy. Taylor’s baby in Karlie’s tummy. That’s the most adorable mental picture ever.

I haven't come around in so long

But I'm coming back so strong

Remember Karlie at the reputation tour? That was after kissgate and love blackout. So many people were saying they hated each other then. And so many people mocked her for coming to the Eras Tour. How strong is she that she refused to let anything stop her from coming to support Taylor? Not the public opinions, nor recent childbirth can stop this mother.

So when I touch down

The continuation of Call It What You Want: My baby’s fly like a jet stream

Call the amateurs

I’m biased and think this line is about Swifties who chased Easter Eggs but couldn’t see Karlie embed into the heart and soul of Taylor’s songs.

And cut 'em from the team

bridges burn, I never learned

Ditch the clowns, get the crown

All the jokers dressing up as king

Baby I'm the one to beat

This is so cute. Taylor wrote from Karlie’s perspective here and really said Karlie KNOWS with absolute certainty that she is the King of My Heart.

Cause the sign on your heart

Said it's still reserved for me

Again with the ‘Karlie knows I am in love with her so utterly and completely, always

Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

And the sweetest thing about this being from Karlie’s pov is that, she already made damn sure Taylor knows, that Karlie doesn’t blame her at all for the bearding/fake love for the crowd. That’s how Taylor gets the confidence to write this whole song in such a way that could be attributed to the guy on the chief. He’s not the real muse, like the alchemy that doesn’t make real gold.

Hey you, what if I told you we're cool?

That child's play back in school

Is forgiven under my rule

This is Karlie at the Eras Tour responding to Taylor’s inability to hide how smitten she was for Karlie, especially during ‘betty’ performance. James is down bad.

I haven't come around in so long

But I'm making a comeback to where I belong

Again a reiteration of Karlie showing up to support Taylor at her concerts since 1989 to reputation tour, and now The Eras Tour. It’s as reassuring as the repeating chorus. But do you know what changes? The two lines about giving birth to IVF baby that she opens and closes the song with. In the beginning, there’s only one leading vocal. At the end, there are two vocals in harmonies. Like how Taylor and Karlie have transitioned from being moms of one kid to two kids. And they’ve been so in love through it all.

These blokes warm the benches

We been on a winning streak

Once again with the reassurance. Karlie made sure that Taylor knows no matter how much bearding they have to do, the love they have for each other never wanes.

Shirts off,

The many outfits change Taylor does in every concert.

and your friends lift you up over their heads

I Did Something Bad Choreography: Go ahead and light me up.

Beer sticking to the floor

Shout out to swifties drunk on alcohol AND fun during the concert

Cheers chanted,

ONE, TWO, THREE, LET’S GO BITCH among many others

‘cause they said

There was no chance, trying to be the greatest in the league

Again, with reference to reputation era and how Taylor was not the mass media’s favorite at all, at the time.

Where's the trophy?

Not Taylor calling herself Karlie’s trophy wife. HAHAHAHAHAHAHSJK

He just comes running over to me

James is still just as down bad for Betty now as ever.

Thank god for Travis’s team winning, otherwise this sweetest song would’ve been scrapped for being too obviously not about him.

[iguessthisismenow]

“omg guys she’s been secretly in love with ratty since the 1989 era awwe 🥺🥺”

gaylors:

[iguessthisismenow]

Part III to my "how did it end" lyrics analysis. Find part I and II on my blog (sorry I can't link in mobile!!)

So if you read part II you'll know I linked this song to the theory that Taylor wanted to come out with Lover but couldn't due to her masters being sold off. I ALSO posited that the question of "how did it end" had a double meaning, like a lot of the songs/lyrics in TTPD. First the general public asking taylor how her public relationship ended, waiting with baited breath for all the juicy gossip. This song doesn't have an answer for them, and you can feel Taylor's disdain for them in the song.

The second meaning behind the question is the people in the know - maybe Taylor's friends, maybe us (I don't like to assume we're important lol), maybe others in the industy in the know - asking why Taylor decided not to come out back then. Now THOSE people actually get an answer in this song.

This final part will focus on these lyrics:

This one's probably gonna be the longest one so buckle up.

"Say it once again with feeling" - I'm not too sure out this line, it could be a throwaway for the next couple lines. But the "once again with feeling" talks about Taylor having to say she's straight again, having to go back in the closet again, has to rehearse the same old lines and pretend they mean something. Once more, please only once more.

"how the death rattle breathing" This line SCREAMS the truth to me. The death rattle breathing is the old homophobic industry that has been forcing her into a closet as payment for success for most of her life. The "death rattle" can mean a couple things:

1) when some politician is very old and has backwards and outdated ideas, people often mock their oldness, say they are bordering on death, describe how decrepit they are. This death rattle taylor describes is the death rattle of a dying idea in the industry that still has its grip on her.

2) Taylor was LEAVING she was so close to being out, one foot out the closet. But then her reasons for being closeted in the first place released a death rattle. Her masters were sold, she was in a dangerous position and was forced to shut the closet doors.

This goes into the next line: "silenced the soul that was leaving". I've already pointed out that what happened forced her to stop in the act of leaving. But it also breaks my heart that she phrased it as "silenced". She was going to be out. Be loud. Scream her love from the rooftops. But then the death rattle silenced her once more.

"The deflation of our dreaming". She was hoping. She and Karlie both were. They were hoping to live a life out of the closet but their bubble was popped and deflated.

"Leaving me bereft and reeling". We already know this was an incredibly difficult time for Taylor. She and Katlie had read relationship problems because of this about face, taylor was betrayed by people she trusted, had to watch her partner marry someone else publicly, had to deal with the career fallout she was facing.

"My beloved ghost and me" - Karlie was her beloved ghost. A person she couldn't be seen with but someone who was always there. 

"Sitting in a tree / d y i n g" - the last two lines continue breaking my heart. They're still there, still together sitting in their tree like the rhyme, but they are dying. Her and her beloved ghost who are pushed by unforeseen circumstances back into a situation that is killing them.

I probably won't analyse the chorus or any other lyrics because I don't feel it's super necessary. But if anyone wants me to I'll give it a go.

[iguessthisismenow]

Part II of my "how did it end" lyrics analysis. Find part I on my blog (I can't link in mobile sorry!)

For this post I'll focus on these lyrics:

These lyrics I feel are very self-explanatory if you subscribe to the theory that Taylor was going to come out during the Lovers era, but stopped due to her masters being sold. I'm not sure where this theory originated but if someone knows lmk and I'll credit the OG.

"We were blind to unforeseen circumstances" - taylor was going to come out but was blindsided by her masters being sold.

"We learned the right steps to different dances" - of course this is a reference to dancing with our hands tied and champaign problems. Both of those songs are about Taylor and Karlie reconciling their private relationship with their public personas, just like this song is.

This can be two things in my mind - first of all realize that the steps here are the right steps. I think this means the "right" steps according to what the public sees as the "right" way to be.

If this is about Taylor and her beard this could be another allusion to them both being gay. They know the "right" steps - hold hands with someone of the opposite sex, kiss them in public, perform for the crowd. Meanwhile these "dances" with the other gender are different for both Taylor and her beard.

Alternatively this could be Taylor and Karlie and both of their bearding. Karlie learning the steps to her wedding dance, Taylor doing something different and committing to long term bearding so the public no longer views her as a maneater. Both of them with men the public would see as the "right" steps, but they're dancing separately.

"And fell victim to interlopers' glances" - this one's also pretty self explanatory. I would however like to add that while of course having a public relationship as a celebrity must be stressful, the fact that this idea of the public eye being something taylor is terrified of ruining her relationship is just. Not straight.

"Lost the game of chance what are the chances?" - again I think this is about the failed coming out. Taylor was trying to do something different, trying to finally be free of this PR nightmare she's been struggling with for her entire music career, then suddenly something comes out of the blue and shoves her back into the closet, back into bearding and back into being terrified of the public eye.

With this further analysis for the song I wonder if another layer to it might be the whole idea of coming out years ago. "How did it end" is at once the public, eager for gossip about The Taylor, for whom she has only lip service and no answers. But also "How did it end?" The people who do know are asking "what happened to your coming out?"

And for those people this song has actual answers.

[iguessthisismenow]

Yesterday I had some unexpected time to myself so I decided to go for a tortured poet walk on the beach. I caught this unreal sunset as I listened to Taylor’s new music. I already love these songs deeply and was grateful for some space to appreciate them.

I would love to hear how you’ve been listening if you care to share.

💕CTR