ihearducksaregoingquackers

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

child handling for the childless nurse

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

Any day now

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

No way 😃 this is awesome 👏🐱

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

Divorce seems to radicalize american men in a way that needs to be studied

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

I love having mutuals. #myfriends<3

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

In another universe, Sabrina Carpenter wrote "Manchild" about Bruce Wayne.

And he couldn't be happier.

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

Do you check for trackers and remove them before sharing links?

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

i got this photo with gus from breaking bad and the conversation went like this

me: “hey can you pretend this banana I found outside is a gun?” him: “it is a gun” me: “shit you’re a good actor”

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

I got another photo with Giancarlo Esposito and the conversation went like this

me: hey 10 years ago I got a photo of you pretending a banana was a gun, do you remember me?

Giancarlo: of course I remember you

me: shit you’re a good actor

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

So we definitely need more positive representation of DID, but you know what would be funny? Mildly inconvenient representation of DID.

Oh the world is ending and you need to know about this one specific thing? Yeah I have a guy for that but he doesn't feel like fronting right now

Sorry what's happening rn is this the bad guy? Yeah I just switched in idk what's going on

I know you're dating one alter but we're currently co-con with another alter who hates you so idk how I'm feeling rn

And just who do i think I am? It's funny you should ask that I actually don't know right now

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

we did a good job making "even" have 4 letters and "odd" have 3 letters

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

bitch…omg

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

i legalised gay marriage in ck3 and this absolute #girlboss married herself, truly iconic behaviour 

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

A good blow job is a suck-cess

[ihearducksaregoingquackers]

I was a woman with stubble and a receding hairline, alternating back and forth between different terrible haircuts before I got laser and bangs and became the woman you see before you today. And when I talk to some of these girls now who get hrt and laser IMMEDIATELY after coming out, it's got me having mixed feelings. On the one hand, I'm happy for them, it's really a testament to how much we've fought to get access to medical transition. on the other hand, they all ask me where I get my confidence from and literally it's because I used to look like a crossdressing faggot before I looked like a woman, and people still gendered me correctly about 50% of the time back then and it made me realize that nobody fucking notices little bumps in your clothes or the spot you missed shaving. An actress who forgets a line can still deliver a memorable performance.