iinterstellaarr

[iinterstellaarr]

running away with suguru was never planned. it happened spontaneously, suddenly, and in the middle of the night.

"get up." his voice was never harsh enough to wake you on normal days, the days where he would gently shake you awake with your favorite drink in his hand. his hair was never put up yet, it still being to early in the morning for him to care about his raven locks. this morning, however, his voice was sharp and almost urgent as his calloused hands ripped the covers off you.

"..huh?" you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and squinted as your alarm clock shined brightly in your eyes.

4:03 am.

you cocked your head as you stared up at suguru with confusion on your features. "sugu, its four in the morning.... why did you wake me up?"

he didn't answer right away. his eyes darted outside as he grabbed a handful of clothing from your dresser and started to shove them into a backpack. "we have ten minutes, you need to get the essentials." his voice was breaking at the seams.

"what happened?" your barely awake mind sought through the memories that you had before you had slept. suguru was tasked to exorcise a curse in some village in the middle of nowhere. it was an overnight task. what had happened that had caused this reaction?

“suguru?” you sat up, the covers pooling at your waist. “what’s going on?”

he turned then, just slightly. his eyes met yours, and your stomach dropped.

they weren’t angry. they weren’t panicked. they were… resigned. steady in a way that scared you more than any frantic shouting would have.

“we have to go,” he said. “now.”

you swung your legs over the side of the bed. “go where? what happened?”

he crossed the room in three strides and knelt in front of you. his hands cupped your face, rough thumbs brushing along your cheekbones. his fingers were cold.

“you need to trust me,” he said, voice low. “no questions right now. just get dressed. ten minutes.”

you searched his face, trying to piece together the fragments, trying to wake up fast enough to keep up with the pace of the unraveling world.

you didn’t speak again for a long time, not as suguru sped through the quiet backroads, not as the sky started to bleed from black to gray, and not even when your hand brushed his on the center console and he didn’t pull away, just gripped the wheel tighter.

but the silence wasn’t peace. it was pressure. it was questions.

“tell me the truth.”

he didn’t look at you.

“suguru,” you said again, sharper this time. “what happened at the village?”

he let out a long breath through his nose. his shoulders rose, then fell, slow and heavy like each movement weighed more than his body could carry.

“i did what i had to.”

“that’s not an answer..”

he turned his head finally, but not fully. just enough for you to catch the edge of his profile, the hollow curve of his cheekbone under the shadow.

"i killed them" his voice was hollow, deprived of any true emotions. it seemed like he was indifferent to what he had done.

your heart plummeted. “you’re joking-”

“i’m not.” he finally turned to face you. his expression was unreadable. not cruel. not remorseful. just… calm. "you should've seen those girls. they were terrified."

"sugu, what girls?" your eyes drifted to his frame, his hand was practically crushing the steering wheel.

"i exorcised the curse, and yet they demanded more. demanded i murder these two girls... children..." his throat bobbed with a thick swallow. "they were shaking, malnourished... if i left them alive they would've killed those girls themselves. i couldn't take that."

you sat frozen, suddenly looking at suguru in a way he hoped you never would. your eyes shifted from a confused look to something colder.

“so you murdered an entire village.”

“i did what needed to be done. they had to be…” his voice faltered as he seemed to search for the correct words.

“cleansed. the world doesn’t need people like them.” the sky never seemed to fade into the warm pinks and oranges of a sunrise, but instead stayed gray as the weight of the situation hung heavy on your shoulders.

his voice lowered. “i didn’t tell you immediately because i knew you would’ve looked at me like that.”

“like what?”

“like i’m some monster.”

he looked at you like you were a small, scared animal. in some way, you knew that’s exactly how you felt.

like you were a meek deer looking a wolf straight in his eyes.

you wanted to scream, but the bile rising in your throat wouldn’t allow you. the man sitting next to you has fixed your necklace with loving precision, he used to mumble in his sleep and smile at stray cats.

the same hands who have held you have committed murder. he wasn’t broken by what he had done, he believed in it.

and that fact scared you the most.

you stared at his frame as he drove. his name was now butchered. no longer the suguru you knew, but a murderer, a terrorist, and a disgrace. you wanted to look at him and know deep down that he was still your suguru, but he wasn’t. not anymore.

“say something.” his voice made you jump, and something in you felt shame for doing that.

you opened your mouth, but the words wouldn’t come. not the right ones. you could’ve said, “i don’t know you anymore,” or “you’re not who i thought you were.” but all of that would only slow you down. there was no space left for grief. not now.

you were already in too deep. and the longer you sat there, the louder the world became outside. sirens in the distance, whispers in the cursed energy flow, the feeling that someone, somewhere, was already closing in.

you inhaled sharply through your nose. “we need new IDs,” you said, voice flat. mechanical. “new plates, too.“

he blinked slowly. in his selfish attempt of taking everything he loved with him before he left, he took you. “you don’t have to stay.”

“i don’t have much of a choice.” your voice was sharp, full of an underlying sense of anger and a regrettable feeling of trust.

he didn’t answer. this was no longer about love, or loyalty.

this was survival.

whether you liked it or not.

[iinterstellaarr]

now, what if suguru was your stalker?

TW!! sexual harassment, stalking, harassment, blackmail !!TW

suguru is more gentle than his snow haired companion. he wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt you unless absolutely necessary.

but he also knows what’s his, and would go to any lengths to make sure you knew just who you belong too.

his flirty remarks made you squirm, and you couldn’t lie, the attention from a coveted cult leader made your head spin with control.

although with suguru pulling all the strings, you had no idea how little control you actually had.

he loved touching you, often playing with your hair or nipping at your skin while you gave important speeches to the audience of members he had so successfully manipulated. his hands were always on you, a small gesture of possessiveness that lingers in the air. even if you slightly scooted away from his touch, he’d grip you harder. often leaving bruises that you’d insist to others was just from you being clumsy.

he loved the way you looked while you slept. his already dark hair and clothes allowed him to sit on the balcony attached to your room without detection. he loved the way your chest rose and fell with such gentleness. he loved the way you stretched in your blissful sleep, unaware of suguru touching himself to your frame just outside.

suguru didn’t hesitate to blackmail you, taking pictures off your phone of you in compromising positions when you swore only you knew the password to that special folder, although it’s not very smart to have all your passwords written on a sticky note in your office. he scolded you on what would happen if these photos escaped to the public, of what would happen to his image if his little assistant was caught in such a compromising position.

he said he’d keep these photos safe, uploading them to his personal computer and deleting them from your phone completely. suguru cherished these photos, having printed them out and hung in his private room.

of course he kept a camera in your room, having installed it while insisting it’s just a security precaution. he wouldn’t want his favorite staff member getting hurt, now would he?

the computer he kept on at all times had the stream on, and he watches.

it was his favorite thing to do. watch you when you thought no one was, in those intimate moments shared only between you two

even if you didn’t know these moments were being shared.

suguru nearly spits out his tea the first time he sees you shamelessly thrusting against the little gift he gave you anonymously a few weeks ago.

you didn’t know it was molded to the shape of him. you didn’t know he was preparing you for something sinister.

you gasp and scamper to cover yourself with a blanket when he unceremoniously bursts into your room after he couldn’t stand watching you from the computer anymore.

everytime you see him, you look away. his essence was a reminder of how he whispered in your ear

“you are mine.”

the phrase sent a shiver of danger down your spine. it was scary. how possessive he was over you. how his graze lingered on your face as you walked past him.

and was it completely your fault when he misunderstood the interaction between you and a fellow staff member?

maybe you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time, and maybe if you never joined this cult in the first place, you wouldn’t be locked in his room.

suguru told you that he couldn’t trust you to not slut yourself out to every man in his temple. he saw how you smiled at him, and how your top was unbuttoned just enough to be provocative. he’ll be damned if you speak back and insist that it was just too hot that day.

he loved coming back to his room and see you gazing at the photos of you bent into uncomfortable positions on his wall. there was a feeling of lifelessness in your eyes now. you hated as he walked you down the halls of his temple with hardly any covering. suguru simply wanted to show off what was his.

you were his. there was no escaping that.

[iinterstellaarr]

even frat!satoru understands when something isnt right.

[remember, partying is fun when you're safe! please be aware of your drinks and who you trust holding them, nearly a million people are spiked every year. its not fun or cute. stay safe! <3]

the house shook with the bass of the music. the door could hardly contain the sheer amount of people squeezed into one place, and a small part of you wondered how much of a fire hazard this was. your friend had stupidly requested that you come with her to the halloween party that Delta Mu Beta hosts every year. you were certain that some frat boy had followed her on instagram and requested to see her there, which she takes as a romantic gesture, but you see it for what it is, a quick hookup.

frat parties always irked you. its not like you were one to pass up a good party, but a frat party is not a good party.

sticky floors, loud EDM remixes, a suspiciously pungent punch bowl, and a concerning amount of bud lights littering the floor.

you adjusted your costume. well, if you could call a black dress, some dramatic eyeliner, and the fake fangs you bought from spirit halloween a costume, and glanced around for your friend. she had already disappeared into the crowd, no doubt trying to spot whichever backwards-hat wearing guy had sent her a “u comin tn? 👀” DM.

you sighed and stepped past the third couple making out in the most convenient of locations, like door frames and awkwardly small hallways. you subtly wondered how long you would have to linger before it would be social acceptable to ditch. two drinks? one awkward convo?

you creeped into the kitchen, grabbing a drink from a classmate and thanking him as he walked off.

"are you lost?" the voice reverberated in your skull with a baritone edge. well, that's one way to describe the voice that cant seem to focus on you tutoring him.

"you always seem to find me just when I don't want you to." gojo smiled and shrugged his broad shoulders.

"maybe I'm just always looking for you."

your relationship with gojo was... complicated. not quite friends, not quite strangers. more like orbiting satellites, always crossing paths in just the right moments. you tutor him once every weekend, showing up with a lazy grin and half-hearted jokes that somehow lingered longer than they should. he was infuriatingly charming, always toeing the line between playful pest and something gentler, something almost real. and despite yourself, you never entirely pushed him away.

you gave him a flat stare over your cup. “that’s not charming. that’s stalker behavior.”

he grinned wider. “then I guess I’m your favorite stalker.”

you rolled your eyes and turned away, scanning the crowd. you still hadn’t seen your friend in a while, and your drink was starting to taste... off. too sweet. or maybe too bitter? something about it just didn’t sit right. your head swam for a second, but you blinked it off.

gojo noticed. “you good?”

“yeah,” you said. “just dizzy from how insufferable you are.”

he grinned, leaning on the wall beside you. “then I’m doing my job right.”

he kept talking. some joke about how you dressed as a vampire but didn’t even need a costume because you already sucked the life out of people. you rolled your eyes again, but this time it felt like your brain lagged behind. you brushed it off.

you took another sip of your drink, mostly out of habit.

it felt like your feet weren't connected to your body. even though you were stood still, and firmly leaning against the wall behind you, you could still feel your head spinning. maybe you should've accepted that lunch invitation from your friend this morning.

still, you smiled through it. “do you ever shut up?”

“never,” he said proudly. “but for you, I'd consider taking a vow of silence.”

“that desperate for my attention, huh?”

this time, it was his turn to roll his eyes and shove you slightly.

that got a small laugh from you, but it came out breathless. something was wrong.

your tongue felt heavy in your mouth. the warmth in the room had turned sticky, like it was pressing against your skin. your vision didn’t blur all at once. it tilted. like your eyes couldn’t focus on one thing at a time. you were looking at the world through glass warped by heat.

you reached out, meaning to steady yourself on the wall but instead grabbing gojo's bicep.

“okay,” he said, and now his voice was serious. still soft, still gojo, but no teasing. “something’s not right.”

“I’m fine,” you said automatically, but the word felt wrong as it slipped past your lips

“no, you’re not.” his hand grabbed your shoulder, balancing you as you swayed. the room felt like it was closing in, and the only thing you could focus on was the blue eyes looking down at you.

you swallowed. it took effort. “its just… a lot of people.”

he seemed to frown while looking down at you. "what'd you drink?"

"I'm not sure, someone just handed me a drink." that's where you mentally kicked yourself. seriously? taking a random drink from a stranger? or... was it a stranger...? you could've sworn you remembered him from a class. or was that the guy you rejected?

"was it bitter?" his voice had a lace of worry wrapped around it. it was scaring you.

"kinda? i dont remember."

gojo exhaled sharply through his nose, something flickering behind his eyes. anger, you thought, but not directed at you. he looked over his shoulder like he wanted to find someone. like he wanted to hurt someone.

instead, he turned back to you.

“i’m getting you out of here.”

you opened your mouth to argue, but no words came. you were aware of your own heartbeat now. too fast. uneven. your limbs weren’t working right, like you were halfway underwater.

"my friend... she's somewhere around here. need too.. find her." your own voice was betraying you as you spoke. like it never wanted to open when you wanted it too.

gojo's arm wrapped firmly around your waist, hauling you towards the stairs. you mentally gagged at the thought of keeping your mind together enough to even climb up 4 steps.

gojo’s arm stayed firm around your waist as he helped you up the stairs, away from the noise, the sweat and the pounding bass. the hallway spun a little as he guided you into a room with a couch and dim lighting, keeping the door open as to help calm some of your nerves.

“here, sit,” he said, lowering you gently onto the cushions. his sunglasses were tucked into his shirt now, and his expression had turned unreadable.

you slumped back against the couch, head swimming. gojo crouched in front of you, scanning your face like he was looking for answers written in your skin.

“i’m gonna get you some water,” he said, already on his feet, already moving. when he returned, he pressed a cold bottle into your hands and helped guide it to your mouth.

“i should’ve noticed sooner,” gojo said, voice low. “i saw you swaying. i thought it was just the alcohol."

you shook your head, eyes fluttering closed. “not your fault.”

“still.” a pause. "i hate that this even happened.”

something about the way he said it. like the guilt was personal, like he should’ve been able to prevent it, made you open your eyes again.

“i’ll find your friend,” he said. “you shouldn’t be alone tonight. you okay if i leave you for, like, two minutes?”

you nodded. “i’m okay.”

“atta girl.” he said, softer.

he was gone and back faster than you expected, your friend trailing behind him, her eyes wide with worry. she rushed to your side, clutching your hand, asking you what happened. you explained as best you could, the words coming slow but steadier now. she nodded, her jaw tight, anger flashing in her expression.

“I’m taking you home,” she said.

Gojo stood back near the doorway, hands in his pockets now. He watched you, unreadable again, but softer than before. His usual cocky ease had melted into something quieter. Something real.

your friend helped you up, draping your arm over her shoulder. gojo moved in, ready to help if she needed it, but she had you.

at the door, you turned your head toward him. your vision was still a little hazy, but you met his eyes.

“thanks,” you said. “for… everything.”

gojo gave you a small, lopsided smile. “don’t mention it. just promise me one thing.”

“what?”

he leaned against the doorframe, gaze steady. “next time you come to one of these things… don’t take a drink from a stranger. and maybe let me keep an eye on you a little earlier.”

you smiled, weak but real. “you just want an excuse to bother me.”

he shrugged. “maybe. but I think you secretly like it.”

you rolled your eyes again. he grinned like he’d won something.

then your friend led you down the hall and away, leaving gojo standing there in the half-lit doorway, sunglasses hanging from his shirt and a furrow between his brows.

-----------------------

the next morning was fuzzy. you opened your phone, immediately regretting the decision as the brightness assaulted your eyes.

however, you did see one unread message.

[dont reply – 10:40 AM]

you alive or should i start planning the memorial i already have a speech prepared, it’s very moving

you stared at the screen for a second before smiling, just a little. your friend had stayed over, made sure you got into bed, even left you water and a note in the kitchen about breakfast.

your thumbs moved slowly.

[you – 10:44 AM]

very disappointing you didn’t check in last night. i expected bedside flowers i lived, thanks for asking

he replied almost immediately.

[dont reply – 10:45 AM]

oh i did check in just from the hallway like a proper gentleman your friend looked like she’d kill me if i got any closer

you laughed softly and let your head fall back against your pillow. it took a moment before you responded.

[you – 10:47 AM]

thanks for staying i don’t remember everything, but i remember that.

a beat.

[dont reply – 10:49 AM]

yeah you were kinda scaring me for a sec ngl but you’re welcome. anytime. (like actually anytime. i know i joke a lot but yeah.)

your heartbeat kicked up a little. you stared at the last message, trying to decide what to say. you could play it off. tease him. keep the banter going.

but you didn’t really want to. not right now.

[you – 10:52 AM]

maybe next time you can just annoy me before the near-death experience keep things fresh

[domt reply – 10:52 AM]

deal

you smiled, phone warm in your hand, the headache already somehow fading.

[iinterstellaarr]

haha 69 followers nice

[iinterstellaarr]

“ugh spencer reid, i love you”

it isn’t exactly a lie, nor is it exactly the truth. spencer was an anomaly of a man, teetering between scarily smart and adorably dense that the sudden change gives you whiplash at least once a day.

it was a phrase that was somewhat casual to you now. something you’d throw to each member of the bureau like it was a casual hello or goodbye. although at some point, the bit had become less of… well just that, a bit.

it was still funny to see aaron roll his eyes and scold you for saying that for the one hundredth time, and it was still adorable to have garcia giggle and send it back your way everytime she saves your ass.

but it always seemed a bit different with spencer.

you’d said it again to him last night, although you’re not sure why considering he never says it back or even seems to acknowledge you said it at all. it was a particularly rough case for you, and he always seems to understand when you need a bit of support. you said it like it was some kind of punchline, or a thank you. maybe it was just comforting to have someone to say it too.

after a beat of silence, he coughs.

“i… uhm, love you too.”

his voice was meek and unsure if this was the right thing to say. he knew you said it often, and he knew it never really held the weight his mother always said it did, so no harm! right?

although for some reason, his uncertainty and the sort of raw embarrassment he had when he spoke made your stomach do a performance that could put simone biles to shame.

so now, here you sit at your measly desk, peering over your cup of now cold coffee trying to put together the pieces of why his answer had made the joke seem less funny.

maybe it was because he wasn’t the kind of person who said things without meaning them. he didn’t perform affection like other people. he didn’t toss out casual comfort like you did. if he told you your hair looked nice, it meant he loved you. if he brought you coffee, it meant he loved you. he never spoke the words but they were unanimously understood in his actions.

you tried to make sense of it. maybe it was because spencer didn’t love easily. not in the way the world defined it. he loved by showing up. so when he echoed your half-joke, it wasn’t funny anymore because you knew he meant it.

every syllable.

it felt like a moment you weren’t ready for but somehow had always been walking toward.

and now?

now you were stuck between pretending nothing happened and trying to understand why everything inside you felt different. like something had shifted on a molecular level. like maybe you’d been lying to yourself this whole time, calling it a joke so you wouldn’t have to admit it was real.

spencer walked past you just then, on his way to grab something from the break room. he gave you a small smile. familiar. gentle

“ need anything?” he asked.

you opened your mouth, intending to say no, but your heart betrayed you.

“yeah,” you spoke softly. “i need you to say that again sometime. like you meant it.”

he blinked.

you blinked.

silence.

“…say what again?”

and just like that, your stomach dropped.

you gave him a practiced smile, trying not to sound like you were crumbling beneath the weight of your own words.

“nothing. never mind!”

—————

he noticed you like he noticed most social ques.

quickly, but somehow always too late.

he’d had always been aware of you. never demanding attention and yet it was served to you and silver platter with a name tag engraved in gold.

you were easy to talk to. easier to trust.

so it made sense that he gravitated toward you. it was logical. predictable, even.

but then came the “i love you”

they started small. you’d toss them at him like they meant nothing. you’d always say them with a bright smile, mostly when he brought you the right files or remembered your favorite snack after a late night. at first, he thought it was just a quirk of yours. a friendly exaggeration.

but after a while, he started….

cataloging them.

it wasn’t on purpose! more like a habit he accidentally took up. he would remember every little infliction, the timing, tone, every word you spoke was like honey to his ears. it wasn’t like he was looking forward to hearing it, or like he would replay them each time in his head on slow nights when he couldn’t sleep.

so one night, he said it back.

sort of…?

“i…uhm, love you too.” he’d repeated, uncertain, testing the words in his mouth like a foreign language. you’d gone quiet just a beat too long. he could feel the silence stretching between you like a thread pulled tight.

you brushed it off. of course you did.

but something in him didn’t.

after that, he became hyperaware. he noticed how his heart sped up slightly when your name popped up on his phone. how he’d started picking up random facts or trivia just because he thought they’d make you smile and how the space beside him in the jet felt noticeably wrong when you weren’t in it.

there had to be an explanation. oxytocin. dopamine. human bonding behaviors under high stress environments. proximity induced infatuation. temporary emotional displacement.

but nothing excuses it. it shouldn’t make him want to fix his outfit in a reflective window before walking into a room because she’s in there, you should probably not look like you got dressed in the dark, spencer.

and it certainly doesn’t excuse why the thought of someone saying “i love you” to you the way he said it made his stomach twist.

the realization hit him late in the night.

he had never considered the way you said i love you that night. only the awkward stumbling of his words.

there was a gentleness. something raw in your words that made it painfully obvious to only him that it was different.

that’s why it felt different.

it was.

————

the bullpen was buzzing the way it always did on monday mornings. low voices, coffee cups clinking, the shuffle of files and footsteps and vague exhaustion.

spencer moved through it all like he usually did, head down, file in hand, a half-formed theory on the edge of his thoughts. he was halfway to his desk when he heard your laugh. not loud, not exaggerated, just natural.

he looked up before he could stop himself.

you were across the room, leaning slightly over garcias desk, telling a story with your hands like you always do. there was a small smile tugging at your lips, the kind that only came out when you weren’t thinking about it. you were wearing that sweater again. the one with sleeves you always pulled over your palms when you were focused, like you needed somewhere soft to hide your thoughts.

spencer stood still in the middle of the room.

he didn’t speak. didn’t blink. the file in his hand forgotten, the bustle of the office fading to a quiet hum beneath the sound of your voice and the way you glanced up, just for a second, like you felt his gaze.

your eyes met.

you smiled at him. soft and simple, like it cost you nothing, like how he’d imagine you smile at him waking up in the morning, two cups of coffee in hand for the both of you. and then you turned back to garcia. the moment passed.

but he was still standing there.

it felt strange, the way his chest tightened. not in a painful way. more like the air had shifted around him, and suddenly he was seeing everything too clearly.

she’s just talking to garcia.

she’s always like that. always smiling. always warm.

but no matter how many times he told himself that, he couldn’t shake the thought curling at the back of his mind

god, i think i’m in love with her.

it wasn’t a flash of lightning. it wasn’t cinematic. it was barely even a conscious thought. like it was there the entire time, just forgotten.

you weren’t doing anything extraordinary. you were just you.

and somehow, that was the part that floored him.

because now that the thought was there, now that it had a shape and a name, it refused to be unthought. every laugh, every glance, every quiet kindness you’d ever shown him suddenly reappeared in technicolor.

and he was just standing in the middle of it all like a man who had walked straight into his own feelings and hadn’t seen the sign.

[iinterstellaarr]

fratboy!satoru having a crush on you is kinda like burning your hand on a hot stove.

it sucks.

satoru is cocky in all meanings of the word. he’s constantly on top of tables, playing beer pong, or dangling and swinging from the chandelier in the frat house that is still up by the grace of God.

yet somehow, despite walking into class 25 minutes late and complaining about his hangover for the rest of your hour long class, he still maintains nearly perfect grades.

every girl has a crush on him, or thinks he’s the scum of the earth. every guy wants to be him and he knows this. he carries himself with such confidence that it’s not hard to see why he’s so popular.

and then there’s you.

you applied to this prestigious college in hopes of getting your degree and getting the hell out of there the first chance you got. somehow, you got in and are now dedicated to spending your next 5 years stuck in this school

and stuck with satoru.

he comes from a family of immense wealth. you were pretty sure he didn’t even need to go to college or have a job, and yet here he was in all his douchebaggy glory. everytime he walked past girls would giggle and guys would grumble

but he was focused on you.

you never made a noise when he walked past, never even looked up from the dumb tiktok’s you were watching on your phone. even when he made a spectacle in class, you wouldn’t even spare him a giggle or an eye roll. to you, it was like he didn’t even exist.

your lack of presence had somehow caught his eye, and through the flood of people that he saw everyday, he was stuck on you.

-

“i literally don’t get it.” satoru grumbled into his pillow as his roommate, suguru, rolled his eyes for the trillionth time.

“why do you care so much? it’s not like the flood of girls nipping at your heels is gonna go dry anytime soon.” suguru massaged the temples on his head, desperately trying to relieve himself from the satoru induced migraine

“it’s different! i want an eyeroll, a scoff, something!” satoru flops over on his back and looks to his roommate

“you’re annoyed because she doesn’t acknowledge your existence?”

“exactly!”

“narcissist.” satoru groaned at his roommate and pouted into his pillow once again.

“your just salty your bumble date ghosted you.” satoru claimed, and quickly retracted as a pillow was throw at his head.

-

the next class you had early in the morning made you groan as you sat down and opened your bag to grab your computer.

“is this seat taken?” your head snaps up while you meet bright blue eyes, although they were covered by dark sunglasses.

you whip your head around to the plethora of empty seats, even the ones in the back held no one, which was a miracle in itself.

“uhm, no?” you scooped up some of your items to make room for the lengthy boy as he sat down next to you. he leaned his head on his hand as he eyed you up and down.

“i don’t believe we’ve met. i’m satoru gojo, although you can just call me satoru, gorgeous.” he had a cocky grin on his face, sure that he was being charming by extending the pleasure of calling him by his name to you and by the slightest compliment.

“yeah, okay.” you nodded slightly, praying to whatever God would listen that he’d just leave you alone. his smile faltered at your dismissive tone, although he was far from done playing with you.

“what are you majoring in?” his eyes were still fixed on you, as if some omnipotent creature was whispering all the ways to make you tick, and he was listening as if it were scripture.

you rolled your eyes and spared him a glance although lacked a response as you continued to furiously type the paper that was due for this class.

after that blatant dismissal, he tried everything.

a large, very expensive looking bouquet by your dorm? he found them in the dumpster the next morning. causing a ruckus in the quad? you walked past him as if he were trash on the sidewalk. a pyramid of redbulls inside your dorm (how’d he get in?) was found in a donation box for other students who were struggling. nothing he did could ever catch your eye.

although he didn’t know the flowers you got him made you violently sneeze, so they were a hazard to keep in your living space. he didn’t know that the day he tackled suguru in the quad with the prayer of a fleeting glance, you were to focused on the mid term that was worth half your grade. the redbulls he left in your dorm just happened to be your least favorite flavor, and it probably was t healthy to drink all of those yourself. it wasn’t that you were purposely ignoring him, you just genuinely didn’t notice his foolish antics were to get your attention.

-

it wasn’t until the end of the year that satoru finally snapped.

he found you in the library, surrounded by books and half drunken iced coffee. you looked different from the girls that usually followed him. not bad different, but raw. real.

you didn’t notice him until his shadow blocked the flow of light that illuminated your books.

you looked up, sighing slightly before pulling out and earbud

“if this is about the flowers, i’m allergic-“

“get up.” his tone was different from the cocky frat boy you knew. he was nervous. nervous in your presence, nervous in the line of your sight. he looked like and insecure school boy finally talking to his crush

“excuse me?” you watched as he scooped up the books and carefully shoved them into your bag, pulling your chair out while you were still sat in it.

“i wanna talk.” he pulled you by your wrist, still holding your backpack as he made a dash for the exit

“we can’t just talk here?” your feet were clumsy following the man in front of you, considering he was a good foot taller that you.

“it’s important, just…” he paused, the words fluttered on his tounge but he bit back before it all came rushing out. “please.”

that shut you up.

he rounded the corner and shoved open the door to a long forgotten stair well.

gojo crossed his arms, sunglasses pushed up into his hair, exposing the frustration flickering in those icey eyes. “what is your deal with me?”

you blinked.

“huh?”

“i’ve tried everything. everything,” he said, voice sharper than his usual smooth tone. “you ignore me like i’m background noise. like i don’t even exist.”

you stared, silent, waiting.

“i mean, do you hate me? did i do something? am I just some frat idiot to you?” he ran a hand through his hair, pacing now. “you’re driving me insane and you don’t even care.”

“i do notice you, satoru.” his real name being slipped on your tounge caused his pacing to falter.

for the first time all year, you saw him. rough around the edges, and slightly insecure. he wasn’t satoru gojo, heir to a fortune many couldn’t comprehend and a total douchebag

he was just… satoru. a boy who didn’t know how to get the attention of someone like you without using elementary tactics.

“you don’t have to do anything dramatic to catch my eye. you don’t have to make small talk about stupid shit to get me to talk to you.”

“i see you, satoru. every over the top stunt, every weird little performance. i’ve seen it all. but the guy who leaves flowers im allergic too in front of my dorm to get attention?” you stood slowly, eyes locking with his. “that’s not who i’m interested in.”

he swallowed. “then who are you interested in?”

you leaned in just enough for your voice to hit him low and clear.

“the real you, whoever that is. it’s up to you to figure that out.”

and then you left him there, quiet for the first time in a long time.

-

the next time you saw satoru, he was just as nervous as last time. his eyes weren’t covered by his glasses and you swore you could see a glimmer of sweat drip down his forehead as he met you for the first class of the day.

“for you.” he held out a small iced coffee, the same one you had ordered for your impromptu study trip in the library.

he had memorized it.

in the small moment he saw to remember it, he had got it perfect.

“no flowers, no stupid tricks. just me.” you smiled as he handed it to you, the condensation on the cup making your hands cold and wet, but you didn’t mind.

“you remembered,” you said.

“ive been paying attention. even if you weren’t.”

you studied him. for once, he didn’t try to fill the silence. he just looked at you. nervous, hopeful, real.

and maybe he was still a little ridiculous. still loud, still dramatic in ways he couldn’t fully shake. but under all of that… there was something honest. something kind.

and maybe that was who satoru was all along.

“your still a frat idiot, satoru.”

“i’m your frat idiot.”

[iinterstellaarr]

what if satoru was your stalker?

TW!! mentions of stalking, murder, SA and slight cannibalism. please be weary of what you’re reading. this is not for the faint of heart! TW!!

he was certain that if he asked you, you surely wouldn’t mind.

it started as an innocent crush, truly. it was hard for him to ignore you when you paraded around jujutsu high in your professional attire and with your attitude. you were the complete opposite of satoru, and that difference drew him too you.

it was so easy to get under your skin, make you blush. his flirty remarks made you squirm and tell him to hush before furiously continuing your paperwork. it made him smile to know he was the only one that was able to make you that flustered.

except he wasn’t.

he saw you in the city one night, your hair all done up and in an outfit that complimented your skin tone perfectly. you looked so good, he practically wanted to eat you. he debated going up to you and finding a way to take you home.

that was until another man came up to you, wrapping his arms around your waist, making you blush and giggle, playfully swatting him away.

that’s a… small issue.

it wasn’t hard for satoru to follow you home, you didn’t exactly cover your trail. he watched from the shadows as the man lead you to your door and kissed you goodnight. and truthfully, it wasn’t hard for satoru to break into that man’s house either. lucky for him, the windows weren’t locked.

satoru is the strongest, after all.

and of course he was there for you when your little fling mysteriously disappeared, a text sent to your phone that he was moving across the country and to never contact him again. he thought you looked so delicious when you cried. he promised that he’d never leave you like that man did. and he meant it. he’d never leave, even if you wanted him too.

he made sure to stay out of sight, the leaves in your big oak tree covered him up from your gaze nicely. it was nice watching you sleep, and even better as you slipped your fingers under your waistband, your normal stoic expression slipping from your face as it contorted with pleasure. he selfishly hopes your thinking of him.

he was over at your house at least once a week, half of the time you never knew he was even there. you invited him over once or twice and even let him sleepover when the snow outside was falling heavily. he stayed up all night, mapping out the best entrances, and hiding spots.

your sleeping face from your closet is much better than out in that pathetic old tree anyway. plus, now he can hear the names you call out when you think no one is there. he almost came in his pants when he hears “satoru..” plead from your lips for the first time.

it didn’t take much convincing for you to let him into your life. he already knew he was apart of your little fantasies, so why would you say no?

you didn’t have to know the lengths he went to.

you didn’t have to know about who he removed.

you were his, and if he had to chain you up in his basement to remind you of that after he catches you in your shared bed with a certain raven haired man, then oh well.

lessons must be learned, after all.

his cold, unforgiving hands glide down you body. this is how it’s meant to be, satoru was supposed to be the one touching you. the one leaving unforgiving kisses across the valleys of you chest. a bite or two wouldn’t hurt, right? satoru did love seeing you cry, after all.

you won’t make a mistake again, he’ll make sure of that.

[iinterstellaarr]

cuz he's my best friend's brother!

my masterlist

pairing : choso kamo (my beloved) x reader.

on the radio : lunch by billie eilish.

word count : 11.1k

synopsis; he's your best friend's older brother- that's all he is to you. nothing more, nothing less. so why do you feel this way about him? and why are you so interested in the things that he does? he seems to have no interest in you at all. (no curses AU) turns out he's just as whipped as you. yuji being done with u n choso forever

or;

years of gradual buildup to a romantic relationship between your best friend's brother; choso kamo.

guys im so sorry this has been marinating in my drafts for months.

t.w; swearing, some angst? eventual fluff. reader is described as having a period and wears dresses. lmk if i forget anything else

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AGE 5 and AGE 7

You met Yuji at your day care. you'd been sitting on the grass field in the backyard of sunny smiles daycare, tears welling up in your eyes as you glared angrily at the ground. you didn't want to be here! you wanted to be at home with your mom and dad!

it was your first time being away from your parents for so long, and you'd stormed away from the sunny smiles worker as soon as your parents left.

so that brought you to where you were, sitting under a shady tree all alone, stabbing angrily at the ground with a stick. it's not that anyone was actively avoiding you, as a couple of other kids had approached you but you hissed at them like a feral cat, not particularly enjoying your emergence into society.

it all changed very quickly though, because just when you found a little stick bug, a little boy with bright pink hair and a bright smile came bounding up to you.

“Whatcha lookin at?” he asks, and you look up at him.

“Bug.” you respond shortly, and his smile brightens even further, if that was even possible. (you learn to know that his smile is blinding, and something he doesn’t reserve. He gives them to everyone as if it's as easy as breathing to him.)

That’s how you become best friends with Yuji, over some fascination over a stick bug, in the corner of a playing field.

You end up finding out that he lives on your street, a couple of houses down, with his big brother and his  dad.

Throughout the years, you spend countless hours over at the itadori/kamo household, and it becomes a second home to you quite easily, their father being kind and outgoing helps you become seamlessly integrated into their family of 3.

The first time you went over, you were sooo excited the night before, you couldn’t sleep! You’d known yuji for an entire 2 weeks, and could not wait to meet his older brother, and his parents.

The day of, you were so hyperactive, bouncing around while you whined to your mother when she took an entire 10 minutes to get ready to walk you to his house, running ahead of her on the pavement on the way there.

You race up the stairs to his door, pounding your little fists on the door, somewhat rudely and rather impatiently, but you get a pass for being a literal child.

Your mother pulls you by the hand away from the door and scolds you for being impolite and so impatient, but you’re too excited to care.

You can hear the door being unlocked on the other side of the door, and then next thing you know, there’s an angel opening the door and staring down at you with the prettiest purple eyes.

…record scratch.

The boy standing in front of you is not an angel, but he might as well be. Longish black hair thrown up in to two twin ponytails, with deep set eyes and a thousand yard stare, he’s gorgeous. He smiles at you, greeting you formally as if he’s an adult, and not just a 7 year old boy.

Your mom coos, ‘such an adorable little boy,’ and already responsible enough to be answering the door.

“Look at him, y/n. He’s so well behaved. You can learn from him.” your mother says, looking down at you with an affectionate smile.

You can’t even reply, you’re so taken with this boy. This must be choso, Yuuji's older brother by two years.

You look him up and down, and he smiles at you. You decide immediately that you love this boy, and he will be yours. (you’re 5, and he’s 7. He’s not going to be yours anytime soon.)

So obviously you do what any 5 year old would when presented with a cute guy. You grab onto him, and refuse to let go even when your mom is pulling you off him.

“Sorry, I don't know what’s gotten into her.” your mom apologises to the boy, trying to hold in her laughter.

“It’s alright.” choso replies with a smile.

At that time, Yuji seems to hear the commotion at the door, and comes bounding over, yelling your name excitedly.

“Yuuji!” You yell in response, letting go of his brother momentarily to hug him.

“Why didn’t cha tell me bout your brother?” you ask him, before immediately reverting back to choso’s side.

Your mother sighs, before bids you goodbye and heads to work, thinking to herself that the years to come will be interesting indeed.

“Whaddya mean?” yuji asks you, as he pries you off from his brother and pulls you into the house to give you a tour.

“.um, duh….he’s going to be my husband. You will be my brother in law!” you tell yuuji confidently, sure that you will win the heart and the affections of his older brother.

Yuuji stares at you with a concerned and open mouthed look, before he breaks into a smile.

“Will we be related?” he asks cheerfully.

“Yes! You can be my brother in law!” you tell him, already planning out your future, just considering the names of your children.

You forget that choso is behind you, trailing, and he lets out a soft chuckle, before he rubs the top of your head. He’s pretty tall for a 7 year old, but then again, he’s always been the tallest kid in his class.

“I’ll wait.” he tells you and you brighten, smile radiating like a thousand suns.

choso thinks it’s funny, and considers it just another childhood promise that is made by kids that aren’t kept.

But you’re convinced that he’s the one for you, and the one you will love forever. You’re convinced that this is who you’re meant to spend the rest of your life loving, and that he was made for you.

You and Yuji spend the day in the garden, playing with the sandpit they installed, frisking around in the pool, and on the set of the swings, all under the watchful eye of choso.

choso seems to be built for the role of protective older brother, because yuji and you aren’t allowed to be out of his watchful eyes for more than a minute.

He plays with you guys with a level of maturity you’ve never seen in a kid before, but he still is patient as he plays with you in the sandbox. In later years, you’ll look upon moments like these to realise just how serious he’s been, even as a child.

When you and yuuji had an argument over who should get the neon green shovel, he sighs, before telling you that you should take turns, an hour with you and an hour with yuuji. By the time yuuji’s hour is up, you’ve already forgotten about wanting it.

That would never stop him from being sweet and considerate to you, though. Time at the itadori household passes by quickly, and soon, hours have passed and it’s lunch.

You follow behind choso and yuji as they walk into the kitchen, to be greeted by jin, itadori’s father.

You smile at him, introducing yourself a little to him, while he talks to you as he cooks.

Yuji and choso jump onto the seats surrounding the island with some difficulty, but they’re still able to reach. Being 5 years old, you can’t reach, and struggle to clamber on, so choso gets off his chair to help you up to sit on it.

He’s so caring, it’s almost ridiculous.

Hours later, when you leave the itadori’s house only after the promise of many more visits to come, you’re still giddy from the high of the day, kicking your feet as your mom walks you back to your home. You wave to yuuji and choso, who are both staring out the window to see you leave.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AGE 7 and AGE 9

Two years after you meet yuji, you’re still spending so much time over at yuji and choso’s house.

it's safe to say that you enjoy their house more than your own, considering how you’re there almost every single waking moment. Your mother worries about intruding, but it’s not something that really crosses a 5 year old’s mind.

Jin laughs anytime your mother frets, and says there’s nothing to be worried about, and he doesn’t mind that you’re there a lot, as “both of the boys seem to love [you]”.

In later years, your mother will often comment on how you seemed to be so taken with choso, and yuuji, but both in different ways.

For yuji’s 8th birthday, he got a small house. Not literally, but one of those children houses that you would find in a walmart, for at most a hundred dollars. It was plasticy and shiny, with red (plastic) bricks, and a purple roof. It was just big enough to fit the three of you at one time, and suprisingly, at the age of 9, choso was still perfectly content to spend time with an 8 year old and a 7 year old.

You remember the day yuuji got that house. You were at sunny smiles daycare, playing on the seesaw set when he came bounding up to you with a big toothy smile.

“Guess wa i got for ma birthday!!'' Yuuji all but demands, looking somewhat smug despite having a massive gap in his teeth, where he’s missing his two front teeth. (all i want for christmas is my two front teeth, my two front teeth!)

“What?” you ask him, getting excited already. His energy is infectious, which makes you wonder why choso looks so tired all the time. The bags under his eyes are prominent, even though you know his schedule well enough to know that he sleeps about 10 hours, and somehow he still has them.

Genetics, you guess.

“No silly, you need to guess.” yuuji tells you, climbing up onto the opposite end of the seesaw, and you fly upwards.

You let out a giggle, and think for a second, before loudly exclaiming; “hmm, a parrot?”

“Nope! Try again.” yuuji responds.

“A new bike?” you try again, and he shakes his head. His face splits into a large grin, and he shakes his head.

“Wrong!” he exclaims, before sighing and yelling out loud; “a plastic house”

“Noo way! You’re so lucky, i’m so jealous.” you whine, your legs pumping the seesaw up and down as you move.

“You can come over after school, you know?” he tells you. Suddenly getting off the seesaw, which causes you to fall off and hit the floor.

That is what brings you to here, now. Playing in his kitchen when he decides he wants to take you outside to see the little house.

Choso follows behind the two of you quietly, making sure you both don’t injure yourself by tripping or some other funny way.

As yuuji opens the backyard door, you see it.

A plastic house, just big enough to fit three or four kids, with red plastic ‘bricks’ and a purple roof.

The purple is a shade you’ve seen before, and you realise almost immediately that it reminds you of choso’s eyes, so you voice that.

You turn behind just in time to see the pink on his face, and you let out a giggle, while yuuji pretends to be deaf.

That little house becomes a very important figure in the games you would play back in those days .

Like many 7 year olds,  you wanted to play house, and as a somewhat bossy 7 year old, you decided that you were gonna be the wife and choso was gonna be the husband.

Yuuji, forever the afterthought, was gonna be your dog.

And that was a game that was played for many years, until choso and yuuji both decided that they were too old to be playing house but that didn’t mean that your friendship had changed in the slightest.

AGE 12 and AGE 14

Just before choso left middle school to go to high school, he was widely well known in your shared middle school as Yuuji's cute older brother, and you agreed, of course, but he was choso. You may have been in love with him the first time you met him, but he was your best friend’s brother!

A massive figure in your life, something you had grown up with. Choso was the one who would patch your knee up if you fell, and sat up with you if you ever had trouble with your homework while yuuji waited by playing video games. All of this meant that choso was someone you worshipped, for the way he treated you and for the person he was.

It was one of your typical mall visits with choso and yuuji on a weekend, where jin had dropped the three of you off at the mall to have some fun and catch a movie.

Yuuji and you had decided to go with some horror movie, and had taken choso to pretend to be over 16 so you could see a slightly age inappropriate movie, since at that age, choso was almost taller than jin, towering over just about everyone you knew, so he was your master plan in catching that movie.

Jin, believing that you just went to hang out at the mall, drove you there. Choso in the front seat, and yuuji and you in the back. You were leaning with your back against the door, with your legs thrown over yuuji’s lap as you scrolled through your phones, sending videos to each other.

Jin stops as he pulls up to the mall, turning back to look at you in the back of the car as he smiles and tells you to be safe and have fun on this trip to the mall, and that he expects a call and update on everything that you do, so he knows when to come pick you up.

As you step out of the car, there’s a large cramp in your stomach which causes you to double over. It’s  nothing you’ve ever experienced before, in terms of pain, but it doesn’t last for long, so you play it off.

Yuuji gives you a strange look, but doesn’t say anything, as he knows that if it was serious enough you wouldn’t stop whining about it, so he turns to the front as he eagerly leads the way into the airconed mall.

It’s rather empty, seeing how it’s late afternoon on a Sunday when people would rather be at home spending time with their families.

The cramps are back, and they are slightly worse, making your eye twitch. It mostly goes unnoticed, but you do get a slightly concerned look from choso, who mouths the words; “are you alright?” at you, and you just nod, eyebrows furrowed, wondering what is making you so uncomfortable.

You pay for your popcorn and drinks at the cinema, opting to share two large popcorn buckets between you two, as yuuji always seems to finish the first one before you’ve even managed to get one.

The three of you sit in a row together, with yuuji on your left side, and choso on your right. You’re given the task of holding the popcorn, and the darkness of the theatre does well to mask the flush on your face from being so close to choso.

While the theatre is a bit cold, you feel nice and toasty, not just from the heat on your face, but from having choso’s warm body heat so close to you.

Human earthworm 2 begins to play, and yuuji eagerly dives into the popcorn, watching intently. The cramps suddenly come back again, and something feels really wrong. You try to play it off, but after a while, you completely give up, whispering a hush “i’ll be back.” as you climb over yuuji’s legs while you try to get to the bathroom.

As you walk out of the theatre, you’re stuck with an even larger feeling of dread, the pit of your stomach seems to burn, and you’re afraid of what you’re going to find in the bathroom.

In the privacy of the stall, you realise what’s wrong. Your period. You’ve gotten it for the first time. The timing could not be worse.

You sigh, thinking about how there might be some pads in the bathroom for any emergencies, and when you check, there isn't.You panic, a bit (not a bit, a lot), and check the clothes you’re wearing. There’s a bit of a blood stain on the bottoms, and you’re about to cry.

Not when you’re out! This is so mortifying, literally the worst thing that could happen to you.

You realise you won’t be able to cover up the stains, as you left your jacket in the cinema hall.

‘Fuck.’ you whisper out and slump down in defeat, not exactly knowing what you should do here.

Time passes really slowly, and a quick glance at the time tells you you’ve been here for over 20 minutes already. At that thought, your cheeks heat up, as you’re afraid what the boys will think you’re doing in here.

You sigh, before realising you have no choice but to ask them to help you, but the idea of texting and mentioning your…predicament is enough to make you tear up a little in embarrassment.

At that moment, you hear a ping from your phone, so you pick it up to check, and what you see makes you stop crying immediately.

Choso; are u ok?? We’re a little worried abt u

y/n; …

Choso; ???

y/n: i need ur help pls

Choso : ofc what do u need?

Ten minutes later, you hear a call of your name from the entrance of the bathroom, and you unlock the door, walking to the entrance of the bathroom to come face to face with choso, who has a new pair of shorts slung over his arm, and a bag of period products for you.

He gives you a worried smile, before he asks if you’re okay.

You nod in response, too embarrassed to actually look at him in the eyes, and you whisper out a rushed thank you before you grab the stuff and use them.

He returns back to the movie, sitting next to a confused yuuji, who asks where he went.

“The bathroom.” he whispers in response, before turning back to the movie. Yuuji looks at him funny but doesn’t say anything, and just turns back to it too.

Later on, when you sit down next to them again, you whisper out another hushed thanks to choso, before wrapping the hoodie around your waist, just in case, and paying attention to the movie.

This incident isn’t ever spoken about again, but you always remember how he was eager to help you, while you know yuuji would have been so freaked out.

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AGE 16 AND AGE 18.

School’s let out, and it’s summer time. You know what that means, right? Pool days at the itadori household!

Last summer, jin itadori arranged a surprise for the boys- a pool, and for the last three weeks, you’ve been there almost every day, with yuuji.

You’d play in the water together, or sit by the side of the pool with a cold drink in your hand, reading, playing games (in yuuji’s case) or by napping.

But most of all, you’d talk.

Yuuji and your friendship was centred around there being no secrets, and how you’d trust each other with your life.

So, he basically knew everything about your life, except for one tiny…miniscule and unimportant detail.

The crush you had on his brother.

Somehow you had managed to be less obvious with it than the ones you had had in school for some ungodly reason, but your luck with boys had never been that great, considering that none of those other crushes could even hold a flame to the one you had on choso.

But you couldn’t, because of this.

“Oh, how’s choso doing at uni?” you asked yuuji at the beginning of summer break,  with a fake air of uninterest to seem suave (you’re just fooling yourself and yuuji, everyone else knows)

He blinked at you, wondering why you seemed so uninterested.  shouldn’t you care? Choso  is your friend after all.

“Don’t you talk to him?” he asked, and you shrugged

“A bit, but not a lot.” you responded, pushing up your shades and reclining in the chair. you usually just get messages from him asking how it’s going and if you’re doing alright, but nothing really deep, since he’s so busy with school.

“Oh. Well, he said he’s got a new girlfriend, and his studies are going well.” yuuji responds, splaying out on the pool chair, turning his face up to the blinding sun.

Your heart drops down to your stomach, and it stings much more than it actually should.

“Oh. really?” you ask, trying to keep a steady voice.

“Mhm.” He hums, completely oblivious to the internal strife you are so very obviously facing. “You know, I actually spoke to her over the phone. She’s really sweet. Her name’s yuki.” he continues, eating chips out of the bowl so casually as if he hasn’t just torn out your heart.

You know yuuji means it when he says that choso’s new girlfriend is sweet. Yuuji is an exceptional judge of character, and was always, even from a young age. He may have been oblivious sometimes, but he really did know how to make excellent friends.

An example is the friends you made in freshman year, nobara kugisaki and megumi fushiguro. You were close with both of them, but you hadn’t known them as long as you had known yuuji, so you would always be closer to him than them, but that didn’t mean you didn’t love them.

And because you trust yuuji’s sense of her, you decide that maybe it isn’t worth getting upset over, since he sounds happy with a girl that is sweet. And all in all, you have no right to be getting upset, he’s not yours and he never will be. (haha. Haha. hahahhahahaha.)

You realise you’ve been quiet for too long, and social formalities deem that you respond now, or yuuji will actually start to get suspicious, which is not what you want.

“Oh, that’s great! Do you have any pictures of her?” you ask, before realising you really really shouldn’t have asked, because you don’t want to know.

Luckily, yuuji shakes his head. “Nah. but she will visit in a couple weeks to meet dad.”

Your finger twitches slightly, and you groan internally. Oh well.

So that brings you to the predicament you are currently in. three weeks later after you find out that choso actually has a girlfriend.

It’s about 3 in the afternoon, and as usual, you’re parked next to the pool with Yuuji and megumi, but not with nobara, since she’s away shopping in france (she’s living the life, is she not?)

But the thing that’s actually bothering you, is right in front of you. In its hot, muscly glory.

Choso.

He’s been back from university for over a week now. When he came back, he had greeted you with a big hug, and a ruffle of your hair, telling you that you had grown up a lot since he had last seen you.

Oh, how the turn tables.

He’s changed, too.

Because, when he was in highschool, he had been a tall and skinny guy, but now, he’s not so skinny anymore.

He seems to have put on loads of muscle in the months  he’s been away, and it almost changes the way you completely perceive him.

But god, does he look good.

Especially with the way he’s pulling himself out of the water, muscles tensing in his back, straining in his arms.

Thank you for this view. You pray to whatever kind god has presented this view to you.

And then you remember. He’s got a girl.

You practically growl in annoyance, and megumi sends you the weirdest look you’ve ever seen.

He knows too much to live.

You practically drag your eyes away from him, feeling wrong and unfair to be ogling someone else’s boyfriend, even if you have known him for much longer.

As choso walks past you to walk back into their kitchen to grab a drink, he flicks some water at you, which makes you flinch and drop the book you’ve been pretending to read.

Yuuji’s preoccupied with his phone and megumi snickers, which causes you to drag your eyes away from his back (when did you even start looking at it, my god?)

“You know, you’ve been on that page for the last twenty minutes” megumi oh so helpfully supplies, whispering just low enough that yuuji can’t hear. He leans forward towards you with a leer on his face that makes you want to slap it off his face

“I dunno what you’re talking about” you respond, picking up your book again, bringing it up to hide the flush that’s taking over your face from megumi.

You can hear him laughing.

When choso comes back from the kitchen, he’s got two glasses of iced tea in his hands. He walks back past you and you fight to keep your eyes trained on his face. Which allows you to catch the easy going smile he gives you as he passes you a glass, before settling into  his pool chair which is right next to yours.

“Where’s mine?” Yuuji whines, forgetting about his game for a moment to complain.

“Yeah, what about us?” megumi chimes in with a snort.

“If you wanna drink some, get it yourself.” choso replies

This becomes a game for you and megumi. You, who tries to look at choso and admire him without anyone noticing, and megumi catching you and teasing you about it like you’re both 11.

When you do meet yuki, a couple weeks later, you realise that you can’t even hate her. She’s sweet, although she is a bit strange.

You’re all gathered around the dinner table, in the yuuji household.

Yuuji to your side, as always. Jin at the head of the table, and choso and yuki sitting opposite.

You’re directly opposite yuki, and you immediately grow to like her. She’s sweet and funny, and has a strange sense of humour.

“So, how did you guys meet?” you ask them, watching the way they seem to lean into each other. Your heart squeezes, but you hold your love for choso above your romantic interest, and if he’s truly happy, that’s all that matters to you.

She smiles, and turns to her side to look at him. There’s so much love in her eyes for a relationship that is relatively new.

“I actually met yuki in the cafe that I work in.” choso responds, smiling at you as he picks up the plate of chicken.

You smile while taking a sip of your drink, swallowing hard before you speak; “that’s cute. You write your number on her cup?” you tease, which is a lot easier than you think, because even if you love choso, his happiness means more.

“Yes, actually. She seemed so sweet and she was gorgeous and I knew I had to know her, and the next thing I know, I'm in love.” He responds with a happy smile.

Suddenly, you’re 5 again, walking down the itadori household for the first time, with your arm wrapped around choso’s as you refuse to leave him. He smiles at you and promises to wait for you.

You’re 11 and he’s sitting out of spending time with his friends to help you with your homework.

You’re 12 and he’s helping you conceal your period. You’re 12 and a half and you’re sitting on their couch, playing games with him.

You’re 16 and he’s bringing out cups of a drink for you and only you. You’re 16, and when you’ve gotten wasted from a party he asked you not to go to, he sits up with you in the bathroom, holding your hair back as you throw up, because he promised that he’ll always wait for you, and that means that he’ll always take care of you.

You’re 16, and you’re helping him get ready for his senior prom, with a girl that doesn’t deserve him, but it’s not like you think you deserve him either. You’re standing in his room, watching him throw on his black jacket, and you look at the sorry excuse of a tie he has on, and you slap his hands away as you try to fix it. He sits down for you, without you having to say something, and you walk closer to him. With his legs pressed together, it’s hard for you to reach his tie, and he realises, so he lets you step in between them. You’re focusing as hard as you can on his tie, just so your heart doesn’t speed up too much and he can hear it. He watches you intently with a smile on his face, and you feel your cheek heat up. When you finish straightening the tie up, you pat him on the shoulder, and he lets you go. You don’t want to see him walk out with the girl on his arm, so you go home early, but not before you wish him to have fun.

And you realise that as you think this, none of this will actually matter to him, because he loves her.

And that kills you, but there’s nothing you can do.

You spend the rest of dinner rather quiet, not really talking much, but also subtle enough that nobody asks you what’s wrong.

choso’s 7 and he’s opening the door to see you, in your little pigtails and your yellow dress. He’s seven and he’s promising to wait for you.

He’s 9 and he’s playing house with you even though he hates that little house that his father bought him. He’s 9 and he’s your husband in that little plastic kitchen, watching you cook with a smile on his face.

He’s 13, and while he’d rather be playing football with his friends, but he’s sitting at their dinner table helping you understand your homework, since you’re scared of getting it wrong at school.

He’s 14 and he’s worried when you spend too much time in the bathroom, texting you to ask if you’re alright. He’s 14 and he’s buying pads and new clothes for you to change into to make sure you’re comfortable.

. He’s 18 and he’s letting you fix his tie for him, even though he knows how to tie his tie, but he lets you fix it anyway. He’s got a smile on his face and he’s aware that he probably looks like an idiot, but he likes how concentrated you are on this meagre task. Once you’re done, you pat him on the shoulder and he’s confused. He wants you to see how dapper he looks with the corsage pinned to his chest, him with his tie, the way his hair is done and his suit, but when he asks yuuji where you are, yuuji tells him with a confused look on his face that you’ve already gone home. He’s 18 and he’s unable to stop watching you with a smile on his face as you yell at his brother for eating your dessert, even though he’s got a girlfriend, and that you’ve always just been his little brother’s best friend

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AGE 20 and 22

You’re finally at uni, somewhere you’ve always waited for. You haven’t deliberately chosen the same place that choso is going to, but you’ve been joined by nobara and megumi and yuuji together, so that you are always together.

( a year or so ago) When you found out that you had gotten in, you had raced out of your house, to yuuji’s during the summer holidays, rushing through their door with the envelope.

You run past the kitchen where choso’s standing as he sips a cup of coffee, and you yell a good morning to him. All he does is laugh, a twinkle in his eye as he sips again.

You don’t pay too much attention to him because right now, something else is much more important. You stampede your way into yuuji’s room, where yuuji is on his bed, still sleeping.

You jump onto the bed, slapping yuuji awake.

“Yuuji, yuuji, yuuji yuuji” you yell loudly from excitement.

“WHAT” he groans, throwing his pillow at you, which you duck, due to your epic skills.

“I got in!” you scream happily, throwing the big fat envelope in his face.

It smacks him in the face with a loud thump and he groans in pain, looking at the envelope, before he says “congrats” and promptly turns back onto his side and goes back to sleep.

You kick him on the side, lightly, not enough to hurt, and huff angrily as you jump up from his bed, and pick up your big envelope again, tucking it into the waistband of your sweats, having not bothered to change out of your pyjamas, and walk down the stairs to the kitchen.

As you walk into the kitchen, choso looks up from his cup of coffee, and he gives you a bright smile.

“I heard from a little birdy that you got in?” he asks you, and you grin.

“Yes! I did, i’m so excited.” you tell him. “And hopefully yuuji, megumi, and nobara did too.” you continue, happy that you might be with them.

Just then, you get a message on your phone, and you pull it out.

You let out a squeal of excitement as you shove your phone under choso’s nose, showing him megumi’s text that he too, got accepted into this university.

“I take it you’re excited?” he asks you, feeling a slight pang of uneasiness when he sees how excited you are that megumi had also gotten in, but he doesn’t really know why.

“Yeah! Hopefully yuuji and nobara can also join so we won’t be without them, and then We’d also be able to see you more, as well!” you say, trying to play it off as you’re not the one who’d probably be the most excited that you could see him more.

Despite yuuji and choso being siblings, and choso caring a lot for him, they are pretty nonchalant when they haven’t seen each other for a while, but you guess that’s just sibling dynamics.

Choso feels his heart speed up in his chest, and he smiles.

“That’d be nice, for sure.” he responds, humming as he sips his coffee again.

Just then you really look at him. This is his second cup of coffee and it’s barely 9 am.

“How long have you been awake? And are you even sleeping?” you ask him, because you’re worried. Your brows furrow, and he leans in to show you, and you notice that the dark purple circles under his eyes that have always been there, are a bit darker than normal.

He sighs, and rubs his forehead before he explains; “i’ve got a paper due soon, so i’ve been working pretty hard on that.”

You frown, worried about his lack of sleep, and you push him towards getting more, because he looks tired.

Just like he promised to always look after you, you promise the same.

Just then, yuuji comes bouncing down the stairs, and he runs out to the mailbox. You realise what he’s going for so you follow, excited to see the results.

He rips open the mailbox, and sees a big envelope and he grins. You’re bouncing on your feet beside him, eager for him to open it.

But yuuji wants to open it with his big brother, so you go back in. When inside, he tears up the envelope cover and pulls out his acceptance letter, and you all celebrate.

That was over a year ago now, and you’re in your second year of college.

2 months after you joined choso’s university with megumi, nobara and yuuji, you met Ander.

He was sweet at first, and he provided a good distraction from a love you had for choso that seemed to fade the more you spent time with ander. It was really useful, because choso and yuki were everywhere you looked.

But after awhile, you were desensitised to it, so whenever you would see choso, your heart wouldn’t fill up with so much excitement anymore, but more of a, i used to like this guy.

Present tense became past tense when you thought you just didn’t love him like that anymore (lol as if), so you started treating choso a little differently, you started treating him more like you should have from the beginning, your best friend’s brother.

I mean, he noticed, but like he never ended up saying anything to you, in case of hurting your feelings or disrupting the peace he sometimes was able to make with yuki.

They were still together, but it was getting difficult. They were constantly arguing over the littlest things, and he just grew to realise he didn’t love her as much as he thought he did. But you didn’t know this for a while.

But that’s not important just now.

Ander, who you had met in your psych 101 class, had sat down next to you during the first lesson on your 3rd day at college.

You didn’t talk much for the first couple of lessons, but after a while, he was easy and simple, just what you needed at that time.

Someone that was attainable, and totally not your best friend’s brother.

Slowly, you began to get to know each other better, and in the last class of your first week, he came into class with a cup of coffee that he gave to you with his name and his number, asking for a date.

Your relationship was simple, at first. Dates were enjoyable, and you got along well enough. He was an alright kisser compared to your previous experiences.

obviously, that stuff didn’t last.

or else, this wouldn’t be about you and choso.

conflict started occuring during your fourth month together.

not physical, thankfully, you wouldn’t have stayed with him, but arguments were very common.

he wanted to go a party, but you had an exam the next day, or you weren’t feeling like it.

he never forced you to do things you didn’t want to, but he did get annoyed, and also got petty.

you don’t want to go to a party with him? he’ll talk about it none stop, and about the amount of people that came up to him asking where you were.

you can’t go out cuz you have to study? he’ll tell you about the number of girls that hit on him, before he’d say, ‘obviously, i told them i was taken’. and you’d stare at him, like, do you want a reward for remaining loyal?

but you thought you loved him, and that was what was important to you.

nobara hated him, and she told you multiple times that he was a pig.

and megumi got into arguments with him all the time, about the dumbest thing. for example, ander would want you to wear flashier, nicer and more revealing, but megumi would cut in, telling him that you could dress how you pleased, and there was nothing. he could do about it.

and yuuji? yuuji couldn’t even bear to stay in the same room as him, which was why you didn’t end up spending a lot of time with yuuji. it was some of the worst time of your life.

choso, who had met him, thought he seemed alright, but he had heard about what yuuji said about him, so he was wary.

the first time they met, you noticed how opposite they were. choso was taller, more attractive to you, and he just made ander pale in comparison.

you worried about the way it may have seemed like you were using ander, but you really didn’t have any feelings for choso, and ander was who you liked. When they first met, choso shook his hand hard, smacking his hand down on ander’s shoulder like a father would do to his daughter’s boyfriend, and he stared him right in the eye.

ander, slightly intimated, leaned backwards as choso whispered, just loud enough for all of you to hear; “you better take care of her.”

you roll your eyes, having seen this protective older brother routine before, and you step in, pushing choso’s hand off his shoulder and breaking his grip on ander’s hand, pushing him away from ander.

“that’s enough.” you’d said, pushing ander into the next room before you turned back to choso, who shakes his head at you.

“i don’t like him.” he tells you, and you get annoyed at him, for the first time.

“you don’t have to like him.” you snap back, “it doesn’t matter.”

choso and you never talk about his distate for ander again.

You’ve ended up at some frat party that nobara’s dragged all of you to.

you were originally supposed to go with ander, but considering how he had a last minute study group meeting, you told him that you didn’t mind, and he could go ahead to his study group while you would stay home.

nobara somehow caught wind of this, burst into your room while you were sititng at your desk with a frown on her face.

“thought you had date night with ander?” she asks, throwing herself onto your bed.

“something wtih his study group came up”. You respond, pushing away from your desk to turn and look at her on your bed.

“…at 9 pm on a friday?” she asks, her frown etching deeper into her face.

“i guess so.” you respond, knowing how weird that might sound to her, but you don’t want to bring it up.

“well,” she slaps her knees like an old grandma, pushing herself up to her feet. “I’ll be right back. we’re going to that party anyway.”

you sigh, knowing better than try to convince nobara to change her mind once she’s gotten her mind hooked onto something.

you watched, bemused as nobara sprints out the room, laughing to yourself when you hear her footsteps sprint down the hall of the dorms.

soon enough, nobara’s back. Dressed in a short red dress, she throws a gold fabric at your face, which, because you don’t expect it, smacks you right in the face with it. you pull it away from your face to have a proper look at it.

standing up, you push past to go change into it, giving her an annoyed look.

it’s a gold dress with spaghetti straps that stops right below the middle of your thigh. it’s a pretty little dress, and you sigh when you see yourself in the mirror. because this will forever be your favourite look.

nobara is dragging you through the crowds of a party in a frat house, towards the center, where you can easily spot megumi’s glowery face and yuuji’s beam from the opposite side of the room. the contrast between the two really stands out, with people avoiding megumi, keeping a circle of space around him, while they crowd around yuuji.

nobara goes to yuuji, while you stand next to megumi.

“he drag you here?” you ask megumi, taking the drink he passes you. you take a sniff. no alcohol, just how you wanted it.

“yea. Is that nobara’s dress?” megs asks you, gesturing vaguely to the gold fabric on your skin.

you nod in response as you scan the room, to see who’s there. you see friends from classes that you take, and previous classmates from old lessons.

and then you notice him.

there’s the sound of a plastic cup crunching, and it’s only when you feel a cold substance running down your hand, you realise it’s yours.

ander has his hand on a girl’s waist, and they’re walking up the stairs to someone’s bedroom. They’re close enough to not look innocent, and your suspicions are confirmed when he leans in to kiss her with a familiarity that tells you that this is not the first time.

you don’t even say anything, and you just stare.

megumi trails off in the middle of something he was saying and he turns to look at you, his eyes following your line of sight.

it takes him a second, but he gets there. “..what the fuck.” he growls, throwing his drink to the side as he marches forward.

your arm shoots out to stop him, and he pauses, looking at you with confusion.

you shake your head, just turning around to sit down.

megumi follows you, and yuuji and nobara finally seem to notice something is wrong.

they crowd around you, nobara taking the drink out of your hand as she follows your line of sight, just in time to see the back of ander’s head and a girl as they walk into the bedroom.

“oh that bitch.” nobara all but grumbles, miming pushing up her sleeves before she sets off on his direction.

“no.” you say, rather quietly, before you seem to crumble, tears coming to your eyes as you rest your head in your hands, curled up on the sofa.

there’s a dip in the couch as yuji sits next to you, bringing you close to him, and resting your head on his shoulder.

they all crowd around you, telling you how much of an asshole he is , and nobara tells you she can fuck up his car if you wanted.

that gets a laugh out of you, and you manage to smile at them, while still shaking your head. he’s not worth it, you think, and it makes you feel better already.

the rest of the night is a big blur, as you struggle to make sense of things. Ander, cheating?

it makes sense, in some way, but at the same time it doesn’t. what had gone wrong? (Arguments, disagreements)

you don’t even want to think about him anymore, so with a quick text of “don’t ever talk to me again, we’re done”, and you were a free lady.

you wake up the next day with a pounding headache, not from alcohol but from tears and a stressful evening, to a knock on your door.

you groan, throwing your blankets off of your body as you stumble to the door with a grimace on your face.

forgetting that you’re still wearing last night’s clothes, save for your makeup, you open the door to see choso.

it’s been a while since you last saw him, the two year school difference has made him so busy in preparation for his graduation, he’s been working so hard with his part time job and his studying.

he looks..different, in some way. Tired but happy. You’ve seen him around on campus, and you have texted him a lot, just messaging about school and work and life.

“yuuji told me.” he says in form of a greeting, shaking his head while you step back to let him in. he looks you up and down in your tight gold dress and he averts his eyes, which is what makes you realise that you’re still wearing the same thing from yesterday night.

“he moves fast.” you say in response, as a way to stop yourself from worrying too much about how you look. there’s not much that you can do now.

“I should have known.” he says. you look up at him, confused, before he sighs and continues; “about ander, i mean. I didn’t like him when I first met him.”

“well, you weren’t the only one.” you say, pulling out an oversized shirt out from your drawer, putting it over the gold dress.

he steps over to your desk, setting something down you haven’t noticed before, a pack of food. the scent wafts over to your nose, and you let out a happy squeal when you realise it’s your favourite food.

he smiles, glad to see that you’re not too upset, but it quickly drops off his face as soon as he remembers why you should be upset in the first place.

“thanks.” you mumble out through a mouthful of food. he waves you off, telling you not to worry about it.

“are you sure you’re alright? I can have a word with him if you need.” He raises his eyebrows when he mentions having ‘a word’ with ander, and you get what he means.

“no, it’s alright. he’s not worth it.” you say, swallowing the food.

“thanks for being here.” you say.

“anytime. I’m always here if you need me.” he says, ruffling the hair on your head in endearment.

sitting down at your desk, he takes a bite from a bowl he’s bought for himself.

“is there anything that you need from me?” choso asks, still looking really worried for you.

“i promise, I’ll be alright.” you respond.

there’s a silence, but it’s not uncomfortable, but rather it’s quite enjoyable, and feels right.

Leaning back in your chair when you're done, you turn to look at CHOSO, surprised to notice that he'd already been staring at you before hand

He gives you a tentative smile that looks like he's relieved that you're alright.

"Thanks for checking up on me." You say again, standing up to throw away the trash of the food he'd brought for you, and when you're about to reach for his plate, your arm reaching past him, he grabs ahold of you softly, standing up as he does so while he hugs you.

Your arms immediately wrap around his waist, and his chin rests upon your head. He's got a firm hold of you, but you feel content to be there.

You let out a sigh, and you can feel the tears beginning to prick at the corner of your eyes. You needed this. Not from choso specifically, but you just needed this.

after awhile, he lets go, his hands gripping your forearms as he stares at you, realising that you've almost cried again. One hand cupping your jaw, and the other hand reaches up, and he uses a thumb wipes away a stray tear that you didn't realise had escaped.

"Don't cry" he tells you, brushing back some of your hair. "He's not good enough for you." He tells you again, echoing the words that he had told you the first time he met ander.

You let out a wet chuckle, glad to have his support.

you step back from his embrace, and the hand that was cupping your jaw falls limply to his side.

you end up just staring at each other, his deep set, purple eyes meeting your eyes.

unable to stop yourself, you frown at the familiar twinge in your chest.

‘no, no no no’ you think, this isn’t good at all. you can’t do this again, and not so quickly, either.

but the heart wants what the heart wants. at least it’s building up slowly and not all at once.

Suddenly, you’re 5 again, walking down the itadori household for the first time, with your arm wrapped around choso’s as you refuse to leave him. He smiles at you and promises to wait for you.

You’re 11 and he’s sitting out of spending time with his friends to help you with your homework.

You’re 12 and he’s helping you conceal your period. You’re 12 and a half and you’re sitting on their couch, playing games with him.

You’re 16 and he’s bringing out cups of a drink for you and only you. You’re 16, and when you’ve gotten wasted from a party he asked you not to go to, he sits up with you in the bathroom, holding your hair back as you throw up, because he promised that he’ll always wait for you, and that means that he’ll always take care of you.

You’re 16, and you’re helping him get ready for his senior prom, with a girl that doesn’t deserve him, but it’s not like you think you deserve him either. You’re standing in his room, watching him throw on his black jacket, and you look at the sorry excuse of a tie he has on, and you slap his hands away as you try to fix it. He sits down for you, without you having to say something, and you walk closer to him. With his legs pressed together, it’s hard for you to reach his tie, and he realises, so he lets you step in between them. You’re focusing as hard as you can on his tie, just so your heart doesn’t speed up too much and he can hear it. He watches you intently with a smile on his face, and you feel your cheek heat up. When you finish straightening the tie up, you pat him on the shoulder, and he lets you go. You don’t want to see him walk out with the girl on his arm, so you go home early, but not before you wish him to have fun.

you’re 20, crying over a stupid ex boyfriend that cheated on you, when choso is the one there to support you. at the word of a friend, he’s ready to be there for you, and knows how to make sure you’re feeling better and understanding your worth. he’s there for physical comfort, and for anything that you may possibly need. it’s the most calm you’ve felt in months, in his arms. He makes sure that you’re as alright as you can possibly be.

choso’s at a party he doesn’t want to be at.

some of his friends had dragged him out of his room, after he had apparently spent too much time studying for his finals soon.

in the middle of a conversation with a girl that’s come up to him to try to hit on him. he’s pretty absentmindly talking to her, as he doesn’t want to be mean, because he knows her well enough that she’s super sweet, he’s just not interested in her.

for some reason, he looks away from the girl for a moment, to the door. the sight that greets him makes him freeze in the middle of his sentence.

it’s you.

he feels like there’s no more breath in his lungs, because you look absolutely gorgeous. he hasn’t felt like this looking at any girl since he broke up with yuki.

you’re wearing a gold dress that compliments you so well, he might just cry. it’s not like he hasn’t seen you for awhile, but something’s just more obviously different now.

he’s standing there with his mouth gaped wide open, long enough for the girl he’s talking to to notice what’s going on.

she lets out a little laugh, a little disappointed, pats him on the shoulder, and walks away.

he only jolts out of his reverie when he feels her pat his shoulder, and he manages to straighten up.

he’s just about to come and talk to you when he sees you crumble, and he’s filled with confusion. he sees your friends support you and take you away. he stands in the middle of the party for ages, torn between wanting to go support you and wanting to give you space.

he understands soon though, why you’re so upset.

ander’s just come out of a bedroom upstairs by himself, with his hair messed up, and a dopey look on his face.

choso knows immediately what he’s been doing, so he marches through the throng of the party to go confront him.

ander’s up against the wall before he can even realise what’s happening.

“what-what-” ander splutters pathetically.

choso’s mad. he’s mad, mad.

“what the fuck have you done?” choso snarls, all up in ander’s personal space. the party quiets down as all eyes are on choso and ander.

“wha are you talking about??” ander tears up, scared for his own safety.

“you know what.”

“she- she doesn’t give me what i want” ander answers. choso slams his hand above ander’s head, which causes ander to flinch.

“you don’t deserve her. you never did. If i ever hear you go near her again, you’re going to regret it.” choso says, before he pushes away from the wall, not even waiting to hear ander’s response.

that is what brings him be standing outside your room the next morning, before he knocks carefully.

he’s got your favourite food in a way to make you feel better, and he’s ready to give you as much support as you may need.

he hears a groan, and the rustling of bed covers, and then the sound of steps on carpet, before he hears the door unlocking, and he’s greeted with you.

you look gorgeous, having just woken up. he notices that you’re still in your golden dress from last night.

“yuuji told me” he says in a form of greeting, in a way to pretend that he didn’t see everything that happened last night.

he sees your initial confusion, but then he sees how you seem to shrink in on yourself.

he walks in and you both talk, and he asks multiple times if you’re sure that you’re okay.

after you finish eating, you reach over him to get his bowl to throw away, but before he even knows it, he’s standing and he’s got you in his arms, and everything feels so unbelievably right.

there’s nowhere else he wants to be now, because he has you in his arms, with his chin on your head, he can smell the perfume you were wearing from last night.

and it makes him think back;

choso’s 7 and he’s opening the door to see you, in your little pigtails and your yellow dress. you shine so bright, he’s reminded of the sun. He’s seven and he’s promising to wait for you.

He’s 9 and he’s playing house with you even though he hates that little house that his father bought him. He’s 9 and he’s your husband in that little plastic kitchen, watching you cook with a smile on his face.

He’s 13, and while he’d rather be playing football with his friends, but he’s sitting at their dinner table helping you understand your homework, since you’re scared of getting it wrong at school.

He’s 14 and he’s worried when you spend too much time in the bathroom, texting you to ask if you’re alright. He’s 14 and he’s buying pads and new clothes for you to change into to make sure you’re comfortable.

. He’s 18 and he’s letting you fix his tie for him, even though he knows how to tie his tie, but he lets you fix it anyway. He’s got a smile on his face and he’s aware that he probably looks like an idiot, but he likes how concentrated you are on this meagre task. Once you’re done, you pat him on the shoulder and he’s confused. He wants you to see how dapper he looks with the corsage pinned to his chest, him with his tie, the way his hair is done and his suit, but when he asks yuuji where you are, yuuji tells him with a confused look on his face that you’ve already gone home. He’s 18 and he’s unable to stop watching you with a smile on his face as you yell at his brother for eating your dessert, even though he’s got a girlfriend, and that you’ve always just been his little brother’s best friend.

but now, choso’s 22. and you’re 20. and he is finally starting to realise that he’s always seen you differently than to how he’s seen, say nobara. as yuuji’s best friend, and younger than him by two years, he understands that there will be more of a difficulty to be having the two of you together, as a couple. Not because of the age gap, which isn’t too much, but because of yuuji’s reaction, and the history that you’ve had between the two of you already. but he’s willing to try.

months later, you’re finally over the betrayal of ander.

with the support of your friends, and choso, you’ve managed to be better than you ever were.

choso has been great, recently.

he’s been spending loads of time with you, whether just hanging out and watching some of your favourite childhood movies again together, or studying together.

and you’ve finally realised, that you love choso again. well, to be more accurate, you never stopped, and it was more of a hiatus, but you are getting better in accepting it.

sometimes, when you’re a little bored, you dream of the idea of choso loving you too. you read too much into actions, and you blush when he does something sweet. and suddenly, the idea of him loving you back, doesn’t seem so farfetched. (THATS BECAUSE IT ISNT????)

it’s during a holiday of your second year of university, when it happens.

you’d woken up that morning with a strong desire to go lie by the pool, and by deciding to do so, you decide to go over to the itadori/kamo household to go enjoy the sun with yuuji.

you’re dressed up in your swimwear, and you’ve decided to put on a yellow dress, before you’re ready to go over to yuuji’s.

for once, the door’s locked for some reason, so you result to knocking and ringing the door bell. you stand there, waiting for someone to come open the door, when you hear choso yell out “hold on!” as there is a sound of someone sliding over to the door.

the door unlocks with a click, and he opens it to see you, and you can see the immediate change in his face.

at first he had an easygoing smile, the one he usually looks at you with, but for some reason, this time it dropped away to a dumbfounded look, where he seemed to be a little out of breath.

after a minute of him just staring at you, and looking you up and down, you ask him; “…choso…are you okay?” you ask him, a little worried. do you look weird? does whatever you’re wearing not suit you?

he seems to be having some sort of internal struggle, you just stand there awkwardly, a little worried, when he reaches for you and pulls you into his embrace, closing the door behind you. you stand in his arms, hands resting on his chest as he just stares at you.

“you’re beautiful, you know?” he tells you, pushing back a strand of your hair behind your ear.

the words make you freeze, and your heart is thumping in your chest like the rhythm of the tango.

"what?" you say, which is super suave and sooo slick and it makes him laugh a little, which makes you feel like you're glowing, just because you managed to make him laugh. it's always been like this. making him laugh or smile was a little victory in itself, and you could feel good for an entire day alone just from making him laugh.

his hand moves to rest on your waist, and he lets out a little sigh.

"this yellow dress." he sighs, with happiness , you think. he is toying with the fabric, rolling it over and over in between his fingers.

you look at him in confusion, trying to ignore the hammering in your chest. something similar is going on in choso's heart, but you don't know that.

"it's the same color as the one you wore on the first day we met." he finishes, letting out a small smile as he reminisces.

you try to think back to when you were 5, but you're unable to remember much, just remembering that you just basically pounced on choso. you can trace your admiration for him all the way back to then, and it makes you cringe. you should have been more nonchalant, but maybe being nonchalant really isn't your strong suit.

"oh. you remember?" you breathe out, rather raggedly as he stares into your eyes.

"i remember everything." he says, and you notice his eyes flicker to your lips, and then back up to your eyes. almost subconsciously, you lick your lips, wetting them, and his eyes flicker back down again. "i remember everything that you do." he continues, his voice low.

The house is quiet all around you, but if a bomb went off nearby, you probably wouldn't even notice, because all that matters right now, is choso. he is what is surrounding you, and he is what matters.

you feel some sort of dopamine rush that only ever appears when you're with choso, because he always just knows what you need, and that means right now, that he knows that you really, really need him to kiss you.

and so he does, because he's always ready to give you anything you need. the kiss is hot and heavy, and breathing isn't even on your mind right now, because choso completely occupies all your thoughts. he crushes you to his chest, his hand resting on the dip of your back, and your hands are clutching onto his shirt, scrunching it tightly.

his fingers grip on your jaw, not painfully, but enough to keep you firmly in place where he wants you. You're feeling like everything that has happened in all the years that you've known him has lead to this moment, because god, this is more than anything you've imagined before, because it's so much better.

his lips are soft, but they are still firm on your own, and you're kissing back with so much vigour, and your hands are in his hair and he's supporting you while you melt.

somewhere in the distance, you hear a door open and close, and some part of your brain is telling you that maybe you should break apart so you can breathe, but he's just pushed you up against the wall, and it feels way too good.

which is a bad decision, because the next thing you know you're hearing a loud "WHAT THE FUCK." from yuuji.

oh well. what better way to tell him?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: guys wtf this took so long im so sorry. i said i would have it out ages ago. help me. anyway here it is sorry it took so long! likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated!!! hope you enjoyed.

[iinterstellaarr]

due to some recent life events i’m going on a hiatus for a while. i’m not sure when i’ll be back but im taking some time to focus on my mental health. i appreciate all your support and your understanding. thank you 🤍

[iinterstellaarr]

part two of this!

it had been a long time since you had last seen suguru geto.

the last night you saw him was shrouded in snow and a freezing air that bit at your skin. at least that’s how you remembered it now. satoru was devastated by the sudden loss of his best friend although he hid it well, just like how he hid everything else in his life.

sugurus disappearance was abrupt, following a mass killing that was confirmed to have been committed by him. you had called him a dozen times and texted him even more hoping to see him one last time before he was officially torn from your life. you cried heavily the night you saw your texts turn blue to green.

“shit..” you stepped out of the convenience store with your head hung low. they were continuously out of your favorite drink and it started to make you lose hope in the small store by your childhood home.

the heat from the day was slowly melting into a more forgiving night breeze as you stepped down the street you had called home all those years ago. the concrete made small pattering noises under your feet as you stop abruptly near the park you had last seen suguru.

one swing had been torn off its chain, hanging pathetically in the night air. a small hole was dug a few feet deep by the uprooted wood chips near the corner and it made you sigh.

you timidly sat on the swing you always did, cracking open the small beer can as you did so. the swing sighed under your weight and creaked as you pushed yourself back and forth slowly.

the beer was bitter, the taste lingering long after you had swallowed. you didn’t even like beer, it was just a habit now. one you had picked up after over the past few years, a small crutch to help with the hole that kept growing in your heart.

you threw the now empty can under the broken swing, the one where suguru sat. the one where you and him would talk about the future like it had endless possibilities. but that was before everything changed.

a chill ran down your spine. one filled with a sudden sense of dread as the wind picked up its pace. you flipped your head around, half expecting to see nothing but off in the distance, standing by the run down play set was a silhouette you could not mistake.

his hair was longer now, reaching just past his hips but tied up in the front, the curtain now pulled up and away. his eyes hadn’t reached you yet but they still held the sadness they once did. wherever suguru had went had not healed him. it only made him worse. his hand timidly ran across the cold metal and he seemed almost regretful.

“no..” your voice was barely above a whisper but sugurus head snapped towards the pathetic call.

after nearly 10 years of radio silence, he was standing in front of you.

“that can’t be you.” your voice grew, hoping that if you spoke loud enough the hallucinations would go away, but his image never faulted.

he was actually here.

his expression was unreadable, just as it always had been for you. he didn’t speak right away, the air between you two tight with words left unsaid. for a brief second, it felt like the entire world was holding its breath.

“you look like you’ve been waiting for me.” his words had a sort of bittersweet amusement to them. they weren’t accusatory or cocky. he sounded understanding, as if he understood the pain he put you through even if he wasn’t there to witness it.

“i called you.” you replied, voice cracking as the knot in your throat pulled tighter.

“i know. twenty times if im remembering correctly.” he was. there wasn’t a day that went by where he didn’t remember the night he left.

he took a careful step forward, afraid to crack the moment you two had suddenly been thrust into.

“how long?” he smiled a bit at your ambiguous words, somehow understanding exactly what you meant.

that’s something that always pissed you off about suguru. he could read you like a book. no matter how far you hid the things that bothered you, suguru always came to dig them up. “once a month. i knew what i was looking for, and yet you never came back.”

so many years of silence, of trying to forget his name, trying to act like his absence didn’t tear at your heart. and here he was now, like an unwelcome ghost.

“i thought you would’ve changed.” his voice was soft but he offered no explanation. you had imagined what it would be like to see suguru again, maybe an apology for suddenly disappearing and maybe an explanation that would make sense.

“where did you go?” you stood up from your spot, the wind nipping at your skin just like it had 10 years ago

“away. i couldn’t have stayed here, not after what happened.” his voice was cold ad you knew it wasn’t directed at you.

“why didn’t you come get me? you told me we could’ve gone together.” the words were bitter although the anger died just as they slipped past your lips.

“i couldn’t risk taking you. i didn’t want to drag you down with me.”

“wherever you had gone, i would’ve followed.”

“i know. that’s why i didn’t tell you.”

you wanted to scream at him. demand something more, anything more from him. but the wind, the cold air, his presence, it all seemed to weigh you down, and the words never came.

“i loved you, suguru.” those words left unsaid all those years ago slipped out before you could even think to stop them. you had stopped them once before, and you weren’t about to do it again. not when suguru was looking at you with apologetic eyes.

“i know.”

he stepped forward, reaching towards you with a desperation a man starved could only have.

he reached towards you and for once in your life, you didn’t pull away.

he stopped just in front of you, his breath almost shaky. and then, in a voice that barely held itself together, he spoke.

“seeing you again made me realize something, i still love you.”

it was so simple. the words you hadn’t realized you’d been waiting for, the ones that had been left unsaid for all those years. no explanations, no apologies. just that. a quiet confession. the truth, buried for so long, finally emerging.

you opened your mouth to respond, but there was nothing left to say. without thinking, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him. suguru stiffened for a brief moment bit his arms slowly wrapped around you.

“i missed you.” he murmured, voice thick with something that sounded like regret and relief all at once. “i missed this.”

and in the darkness of the playground, with the years melting away as if they hadn’t existed at all, you both stayed. you wanted something more, but for now, this would be enough.

the comfort of being together would be enough.

[iinterstellaarr]

hold me, console me, and then i’ll leave without a trace.

★ hey! my names stella or star for short ★

★ i’m 18 and like to write about anything★

★masterlist★

★rules★

★author★

______________________________

my ask box is always open! shoot me a request!

[iinterstellaarr]

about the author!

my name is stella or star for short! i run this tumblr page and a tiktok page (go check it out !) any other accounts you may see under the same name on different social media platforms are not me

im currently a senior in highschool and enjoy writing in my pass time! i’ve been writing since middle school although this account is my first on tumblr

while i do enjoy talking, i will not be using tumblr as a space to make friends, instead only using it to post my works. if you wish to reach me, im much more open on tiktok! shoot me a dm!

i enjoy many different fandoms and write about many of them as well, if you wish to see a certain character, my ask box is almost always open!

my posts are not on a schedule and they are not expected to be frequent. i post when i have the energy or the time so please don’t harass me about posting more.

[iinterstellaarr]

the rules!

i don’t have many rules so please read through this carefully and i expect anyone who interacts with my page to have read and understand these rules.

!BANNED!

- i will not write any graphic or erotic material based around or about underage characters nor will i age up a character.

- the things i write about are fiction. i do not condone the actions of the characters nor do i support some of the things i write about such as age gaps, infidelity etc

- i do not allow the rewriting/copying/plagiarizing/translation of my work under any circumstances.

- any comments or jokes made at the expense of me, or anyone else will be deleted. this is a zero tolerance space for bullying of any kind.

!ABOUT ME!

- i repost and will write erotic fiction in the upcoming future. anyone under the age of 18 has been officially warned and i hold no responsibility for what they may see/read.

- always read the warnings about my work! they are not there to be brushed aside and if you fail to heed my warnings, i hold no responsibility. if you believe additional warnings may be necessary please let me know.

- i would love to hear from you in my ask box! however, my dms are strictly closed and any message requests i get will be deleted. this is for personal safety

- i will not speak or respond to any messages or asks about politics or my personal life. again, for personal safety.

thank you for listening, and thank you for your understanding!

[iinterstellaarr]

pick your poison!

fluff ☁️ | angst💧| smut 💌 | dark themes ♠️

-criminal minds-

- spencer reid

say that again? ☁️

cupid, send help! ☁️

dinners served ☁️

to have and to hold ☁️

all i wanted was you. 💧

slow realization ☁️

-jujutsu kaisen-

- satoru gojo

suitor!gojo pt1 💧

suitor!gojo pt2 💧

stalker!gojo ♠️

under the mistletoe with gojo ☁️

fratboy!satoru ☁️

frat!gojo knows whats up ☁️ ♠️

- suguru geto

a crush on suguru geto pt1 💧

a crush on suguru geto pt2 💧☁️

stalker!geto ♠️

running away w geto 💧

-call of duty-

- simon riley

husband!simon riley ☁️

-x-men-

- wolverine

dbf!logan ☁️

[iinterstellaarr]

part two of this!

more suitor!gojo cuz i said so

the halls echoed with your falling footsteps. the estate was filled with maids and servants, all too eager to serve,

yet you had never felt more alone.

every day bled into the next. hours spent immersed in books, late night cooking when the kitchen staff had retired, and wandering the corridors in search of… something.

anything that might ease the growing emptiness within you.

while gojo was traveling, you would peak into his room. it was a mess, like a highschooler was occupying the room. the curtains were a sheer white that flew in the summer wind, and it eerily reminded you of a ghost.

his bedding was strewn across the room, a pile of decorative pillows sat unkept next to his bed, left in favor of two seemingly older ones.

you sighed and began to pick up the comforter that had been lazily thrown on the floor. you carefully made his bed, fluffing and stacking the pillows with careful precision. you placed your hands on your hip and admired the obviously very expensive bedding.

something about this small task allowed you a sense of comfort.

a sense of home in the labyrinth of halls, and a sense of control that you have so desperately grasped onto since you had first been made aware of the marriage.

“you made my bed?” you flinched at the buttery soft voice that came from behind you. his hair was down and his eyes were wide with shock. you never admired the carefully chosen hakama that adorned his frame loosely until now. he looked different in a way. he wasn’t the powerful ruler of the gojo clan everyone made him out to be. he was just…satoru.

however, lost in the view of your supposed husband, the realization hit you too late. you shouldn’t have been here.

“i- i’m sorry,” you stammered, stepping back in a rush, as if you’d been caught doing something wrong. “i didn’t mean to intrude.”

gojos eyes softened for a moment, but only a moment. “you don’t have to apologize,” his tone was far less playful than usual. “it’s just… i didn’t expect you to be in here.”

his gaze flickered around the room, the mess now slightly more organized thanks to your efforts. “thank you… for cleaning up.”

you stayed eerily silent, leaving satorus heart aching with the want to just reach out and pull you into him. your hair was delicately styled as your maids handiwork never failed. he had always thought you were beautiful, but he’d never truly appreciated it until you were mere feet in front of him.

“why don’t you sleep in here tonight ?” his words held an air of arrogance although he would swear he didn’t mean it like that. you slightly wondered if anyone had ever told him no.

“pardon?” your voice was soft and shy, like if you spoke to loudly you would crumble into dust.

“i mean, we are married, yes? it makes no sense for my lady to sleep in the wing furthest from me.” his voice held a tone of cockiness, as it always did.

you blinked, surprised by the suggestion and his arrogant words. stay here? with him? the thought felt wrong. not because of him specifically but because it felt like a violation. a reminder of how little control you had in this marriage.

“i’m perfectly fine where i am, and as far as im concerned, i am not your ‘lady.’ gojo.” you replied coolly. the words tumbled out before you could stop them, but it’s not like you disagreed with what you said. you did not belong to gojo, and he didn’t belong to you.

gojo blinked, taken aback by the coldness in your tone. he opened his mouth, as if to say something more, but then closed it again. you could see a slight internal struggle playing out in his eyes, but you weren’t about to let him off the hook. not now. not after everything that had happened.

you stepped around him, your movements purposeful, and with one final glance at his confused, almost hurt expression, you spoke again, this time quieter, but still firm.

“this marriage… it doesn’t mean what you think it does. and as long as i’m alive, it never will.”

[iinterstellaarr]

happy late holidays!!

being under the mistle toe with satoru is certainly an experience.

satoru has always been… dramatic, maybe with a hint of corny, and being under the mistle toe was not about to change that about him.

he had invited everyone over to his house after work for a “holiday party” although the turn out was only you, him, nanami, shoko, and a few of his other colleagues who may or may not have pitied him.

all in all, the music filled the awkward gaps of silence and it was going well. there was a small bundle of mistle toe that hung above the door to his kitchen that everyone was avoiding like the plauge. even when two people were stuck under it, they’d nod curtly at each other or quickly shuffle away.

satoru, on the other hand, was stood under it and staring at you like a hawk. almost like he was waiting for the second you wanted another drink because lord knew you’d need another one if you wanted to deal with satoru.

“are you gonna guard the kitchen all night or is this like a password situation?” you half joked as satoru watched you from the doorway

“oh please, don’t let me stop you!” he pointed into the kitchen and you sighed, knowing exactly what was going to happen next. you try to shuffle past him, only to be stopping in your tracks with satorus long legs blocking you from going further

“oh no! well would you look at that!” he smiled widely and you scoffed playfully as he acted like this wasn’t completely set up.

you crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow at him. “you really think im gonna fall for this?”

satoru grin only widened, “oh, come on. its tradition. cant leave the mistletoe unappreciated!” he said, as if he were the star of some holiday romcom. he leaned a little closer, as if the space between you wasnt already small enough“you know what they say about traditions.”

“yeah, i think they also say only if you want to,” you teased. but as soon as you spoke, you realized how close he was. and how much he wasn’t backing down.

satoru tilted his head slightly, pretending to consider your words, but his playful smirk never faltered. satorus eyes were so intense on you. you were under the mistletoe, and there was something about the way he was looking at you now. like a dare you just couldn’t quite refuse.

“just one.” he added, the words a challenge as much as an invitation.

“this is ridiculous.” you playfully scoffed

“maybe,” he said, his grin softening just a little, “but you like it.” he leaned in just enough for you to feel his breath, and the rest of the party felt like it was miles away when his piercing blue eyes fell on your lips for just a second

you took a deep breath. it was the holidays. why not?

“fine… only one,” you said, finally relenting, and stepped closer.

he leaned in, his lips brushing yours lightly. a soft, teasing touch that left the air between you charged. tt was quick, but there was something undeniably real about it.

satoru pulled back, his smile turning a little smug. “see? nothing to it.”

you shook your head, a mix of exasperation and something else more electric bubbling up. “im going to get you for this, just wait.”

he chuckled, stepping aside as if he hadn’t just completely shattered your ability to think clearly.

“i’m sure you will.”

you knew it was just a tradition, but satorus perseverance and playful smirk had you looking forward to when everyone else cleared out and it was just you, and his azure eyes that always took your breath away.

[iinterstellaarr]

imagine having a crush on highschool!suguru geto…

you were always able to hear him before you saw him. okay, maybe not him, but definitely his best friend. it was hard to ever see suguru alone, he was usually attached at the hip with satoru or hanging around shoko. although, at night, he was always with you

the air was crisp on your cheeks and the sound of your shoes crunching against the snow was one of the only sounds you could hear. two drinks clinked together in your plastic shopping bag when you made it to the park by your house. the swings swung gently against the cold wind. to some, the sight was eerily reminiscent of those liminal spaces you’d see online, but to you, this was a place of comfort. you found your spot on the middle swing and kicked your legs back and forth gently.

this was your routine. you’d go to the convenience store, grab a drink for you and suguru and you’d talk. his voice always calmed you down after a long day of school work and you could tell letting him vent his frustrations or even just have someone else to talk too helped.

“hey.” his hair draped over his face with a sort of elegance, although his eyes said anything but. he always looked tired. that was the first thing you noticed about sugurus eyes, well, second to the piercing black color of them.

“i was wondering where you were,” you pulled out a green tea and gently handed it to him as he sat on the swing next to you

“satoru wanted to play overwatch and i told him i was going to bed soon so i couldn’t.” he tucked the long bangs away from his face while he talked to you, it was almost like he was pulling away the curtain he put up around everyone else.

“ooo, bad boy lying to his best friend to go sneak out and meet a girl? how would satoru ever manage if he found out?” you dramatically drapped your hand across your forehead with faux worry. his lips tugged into a small smile at your antics

“he’d be just fine if he knew” suguru rolled his eyes and chuckled. his laughter was deep and it made your chest feel like it was vibrating. something about suguru held such an intense mystery. it was a miracle you and him became so close, and it’s a miracle he let you in close enough to grow a blooming crush for you.

“no, i’m quite sure he’d go up to you tomorrow with bright red cheeks and huff about your treacherous ways.” you hypothesized, satoru was always one for the theatrics, even if he never meant all the drama that came with him. it made you smile when you’d see him and suguru standing next to each other. suguru had an aura of mystery while satorus mystery was a deeper issue that he angrily pushed to the side, that much of satoru you could read. the rest was written in a different language from your mother tongue unfortunately.

suguru laughs and it sends you to another planet. his small chuckle always means the world too you, even if you hear it all the time.

“he’ll be fine. i promise.” he tips his head back and takes a sip of the drink you brought. you look out onto the snowy playground and reminisce on the times you and suguru would come here as kids.

“we’ve known each other for a while, huh?” you looked over at suguru who seemed to be remembering as well

“yeah, i remember when you thought it’d be a good idea to jump off that slide and broke your arm.” he pointed to a curly yellow slide and you huffed

“oh give me a break, i was like seven” he shrugged and turned to you, smiling

“and i told you it was a bad idea, but no,” you pushed him slightly and he steadied his swing with his long legs.

“i can’t believe we’re gonna be graduating soon” you stand up with a huff and walk over to the play set with a sad smile

“just 5 more months, then me and satoru will become sorcerers and you’re gonna have to get a real job” he follows you, his shoes crunching in the thin layer of frost with each step

“i’m sad.” you looked back at suguru who seemed confused

“why?” he watched as you lightly touched the shiny yellow slide, the plastic freezing under your touch.

“we’re gonna become strangers”

“whoah, who said anything about that?” he almost looked offended you would suggest he would forget you

“well, you’ll be busy with all the sorcerers stuff. i’m gonna be busy with…life. there’s gonna be hardly any time to hang out.” you shrug slightly

“well yeah, but we’ll make time”

“we hardly make time now. these meetings are the only time we actually see each other.” you sat down on the cool slide, suguru crouching in front of you

he seemed lost for words, or maybe lost in thought? you could never read him which pissed you off to no end. you wished you could jump in his brain and see exactly what he was thinking

“we’ll run away.”

you laugh curtly at his suggestion

“i’m being serious, fuck all the sorcery shit. me and you, we’ll run away.”

you never took his suggestion seriously

that was until he actually did run away,

forgetting you in the process.

part two here!