iliakos

[iliakos]

𝐐𝐔𝐈 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐓, 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐀𝐓.   /    𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐏𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋.    —    @deputyfangs : re-introducing US deputy marshall christian alasdair murphy of the go set a watchman original universe : a character written around the concepts of the southern gothic, the american dream, and trauma/rehabiliation.  written by montana and affiliated with @deputystakes , written by raylan. 

[iliakos]

this is altan in the marriage with chandra ( @selinakos )

[iliakos]

alright, here we go. like this post if you would like to plot. i also have a modern verse (which is, quite honestly, a work in progress still) i can offer. altan can also be squeezed in any fantasy verse!

[iliakos]

alright, here we go. like this post if you would like to plot. i also have a modern verse (which is, quite honestly, a work in progress still) i can offer. altan can also be squeezed in any fantasy verse!

[iliakos]

how does one write on a new blog

[iliakos]

HOW DOES YOUR MUSE CARRY EMOTIONS?

rules: please repost, don’t reblog! bold and italicize what applies accordingly.

ANGER: jaw clenching, hands balling into fists, teeth grinding, yelling, going nonverbal, stuttering speech, rushed speech, slow concise speech, rambling, quiet, arms crossing, shaking head, tearing up, animated, expressionless, projects, internalizes, vents, withdraws, passive aggressive, direct, physical outbursts, verbal outbursts

JOY: easy smiles, fighting back grins, suppressed laughter, loud laughter, giggles, chuckling, smirks, whole body laughs, covers mouth when laughing/giggling, throws head back when laughing, slaps leg, touches people around them when laughing, looks down when laughing, looks for eye contact when laughing, sparkling eyes, bubbly happiness, quiet subtle happiness, obnoxious happiness, wants to spread joy, quietly savors joy

SADNESS: crying, bottling it up, seeks distractions, wallows, meditates and processes, avoidance, seeks out comfort, withdraws, talks it out, internalizes it, sad smiles, depression naps, uses alcohol, uses drugs, seeks out sources of joy, fidgets with sentimental item, sits in silence, broods, gets moody, wants someone to share the misery, tries to hide negative emotions, nurtures others to make themselves feel better

EMBARRASSMENT/SHAME: blushing, looking away, rubbing at back of head, covering face, laughing nervously, laughs it off, overthinks, lets it go, self deprecating humor, deflects, gets irritated, smiles, withdraws, crossing arms over stomach, crossing arms over chest, hands in pockets, shoulders sinking, shrugs, falling into silence until comfortable again, talking a lot to compensate

GUILT: avoiding eye contact, shoulders sinking low, head hanging down, crying, chest aches, lashes out, internalizes, apologizes, deflects, communicates, withdraws, grand gestures for forgiveness, accepts fault easily, punishes themselves, martyrdom, victim complex, over-active guilt complex, healthy conscience, internalizes even after forgiveness, seeking redemption, moves on easily, denial, lack of guilt/conscience, sorry they got caught more than caused harm, can’t handle knowing they hurt others

FEAR/ANXIETY: trembling, crying, sarcasm/sass to cope, rambles, goes silent, gets angry, fidgeting, clenching jaw, picking at nails, chewing at lip, pulling at clothes, adjusting jewelry/clothing, swallowing thickly, eyes widening, over-reacts, under-reacts, calm, logical, panic, irrational, overthinks, carefully analyzes, talks to themselves, breathing exercises, flight, fight, withdraw, fawn

tagged by: @zagubionywilk​ tagging: @hereticalsouls​ / @feyrae​ / @selinakos​ / @deputystakes​ + whoever wants to do it, say i tagged u

[iliakos]

@selinakos​ :  ❝ The blood in your mouth, I wish it was mine. ❞   /  the yearning,  the devotion.   ( selectively accepting )

another terrible fight,   another field bathed in the blood and gore of his soldiers,  it cannot be called a win even though it had been their enemy’s forces to retreat first.   altan fears for the wellbeing of their people.   most of them are not trained like nikolai’s are  --  they are weapon forgers,  sculptors,   wives and husbands willing to die for freedom,  children who just grew into their age and want a better future,   they are farmers and people who understood the ugliness of war against their will.   so did he and chandra,   altan supposes,   but they have powers,  they can defend themselves just well.   seeing his soldiers fall on the field like they are nothing but bodies and not  stories,  souls and passion  is something that altan doubts he could recover from easily.   he looks at the list of the recent dead,   their names summoning distant faces and voices to mind.    no matter how hard he tried to train them,  they were not fashioned for this.

then,   altan looks at chandra and finally he sees the world,  rather than the horrors of the battlefield.   he can see the wonders and beauties of life in her stunning eyes,   the endlessness of life and death in how her long hair flows down her spine,    the highs and lows of living in how her chest rises gently with every breath she takes.   a hand rests on her waist and altan leans in,  resting his forehead against chandra’s.     “  you have enough to worry about already.   this is my burden to carry.  ”    abandoning the list on the table is hard,  fingers burning when they let it fall on the wooden surface,  but he needs the comfort of chandra’s comforting coldness,   to inhale her scent of mountain breeze and salty waters.      “  i wish to embrace you,   but i did not have time to get changed yet.   i don’t want to dirty your gown...  ”     

his shirt is tainted by blood,  armour left to be cleaned with the forge master.   the spear though,   bloodied and ugly with red tainting its golden colours,   leans against the wall of the tent.   altan cannot face it yet.    he hastily undoes his shirt and discards it on the ground,   hands shaking as they undo straps and buttons,   then strong arms wrap around chandra and hold her close.    there is blood in his mouth,   blood under his nails and in his hair,   blood painting his face still,   but the only way to cleanse the blood soiling his very soul is to remind himself this :    there is beauty and love worth fighting for.   not just a throne,   not just land.   he is not nikolai,  fighting for glory and power.    he is not a bearer of the dark star’s power,   but the descendant of the sun   --  and his soulmate is the moon.   

“  the field looked like a cemetery,  ”     he whispers quietly,   if only to keep his voice even.     “  the waters of the river turned red and...    i could see the hope die on everyone’s faces.   i felt powerless.   i could do nothing.  ”     logically,   he recognises that he did everything he could  --  a wave of terrible hellish flames descended onto nikolai’s army and swallowed his men,  the trees,  everything that stood in its path;   a curtain of blinding light enveloped the field,  which his soldiers had known to hide from beneath shields whilst nikolai’s dark army screamed as they were blinded and began butchering each other.    and somehow....   so many perished today.     “  i know we will all recover...   but until then---  how do i tell these people’s families that....   that maybe their only remaining relative is gone?  ”

[iliakos]

selinakos​:

@iliakos​ liked for a dialogue starter.

‘ will you please tell your babies that i cannot handle spicy food, and for them to stop craving it? ’

a bright smile forms on the lips of the king as he kneels in front of his beloved wife,   hands resting on the beautiful baby bump.   he kisses it gently before speaking,    “  do not irritate your mother any longer with spicy food,   please,  my stars.   she does not understand the delights of it.   when you will be old enough to have it yourselves,  i promise you can have all the spicy food that you want.  ”

[iliakos]

selinakos​:

she is silent as he joins her, pleased and content with all that he has given her. she shushes him, gentle and patient with him all the same, her hand on his chest as though to instill her comfort in his soldier’s heart.  ‘  do you know what i find most beautiful about your glow? ’  she asks, ignoring his repeat apology and accepting his kiss with a slight tilt of her head. ‘ your fae lineage makes you all the more beautiful than any suitor i have ever had, mind you, an ethereal nature about you that i am so blessed and honored to gaze upon, but… your glow, i believe, is the most beautiful facet about you, because when i touch you… i do feel warmth. given, i know that it’s because you’re a warm person by nature, but if i close my eyes…  ’  her eyes close here, a smile upturning on her lips, a childish giggle between her teeth,  ‘ i can still see your glow, even in the dark. behind my eyelids. i still know you are there, because i see your light and feel your warmth, just as humankind sees the sun when she is behind the clouds. you cannot ever go so far away that you are not in my reach, altan. we cannot win every fight. so be with me now, while i heal, and do not mourn a woman who is not yet dead. ’

her hand leaves his chest, taking his hand and placing it on her stomach, gently pressing his warmth onto the gash, and she smiles.  ‘ you must rest, too, for if you do not, the creeping darkness will settle into your mind, and i will have to fight it away, with my kisses and my love. must you make an injured woman fight? sleep, altan. i will be in your arms when you wake. ’

a warmth much different than the innate one that has been put into his body since birth seizes him,  from the depths of his heart but the origins being chandra’s words.   she knows how to weave words that could make even the skies bow and listen,  and for this reason altan always focuses on every uttered syllable that comes from her as he would listen to the gods in the sky if they spoke to him.    she sees beauty in everything that he is,  just as altan sees beauty in everything that chandra is,  body and soul.   nevertheless,  her confession makes his heart grow with love,  over spilling into his blood and turning his lips into a small,  unusually sheepish smile when she giggles,  a sound like the curious chirps of birds.     “  i will stay here as long as you need me and my glow.  ”     a vulnerable sensation overcomes him when his hand is placed atop her gash,   though he does not move it,   instead letting the warmth of his skin surround it and comfort whatever pain might be pulsing there.   he kisses her forehead,  her nose,  cuddles closer into her side so carefully as though afraid of causing any more suffering to her healing body.   chandra is a woman of power,   carrying the strength and wisdom of father moon,   yet altan cannot help but wish to keep her in the safety and comfort of his arms for as long as possible.   perhaps this has less to do with the blessings bestowed unto them by novis and elathan and more to do with the love that he holds for her.   so powerful that not even death could steal it.   

“  i will sleep only because you ask me it...   and in the morning i will call the healers and make you the tea that you love.  ”    his eyes close.   this time it is not her bleeding,  injured form that he sees,   but the beautiful smile that will no doubt greet him in the morning.     “  elathan watch over us,  ”    he prays quietly,   “  his gentle hand protect us,  ”    a kiss is placed to chandra’s temple,    “  and novis’ light greet us when we open our eyes.   goodnight,  my love.   i will be here by your side,   i promise you this.  ”

[iliakos]

"Tell me the story about the sun that loved the moon, so much that she let herself die every night just to let him breathe"

[iliakos]

@proditeur​ :    how does altan perceive himself and how do you think others perceive him? how strong is altan's sense of self-awareness?

as an individual,   altan likes to believe that he is caring and reliable.   he holds himself quite highly and knows his worth,  but he also recognises his flaws,   which include complaining,  a sense of superiority,  how quick he is to anger.   typically the first opinion people have of altan is that he is spoiled royalty,  which is very true before everything goes downhill and altan lives as a sun prince.   between the ages of 13-16 when other teenagers struggled to understand their sense of self,  to grasp self-confidence and other issues like that,  altan was a narcissus who could not be swayed to believe otherwise.   it was maturity and mother novis who changed his stuck up attitude to a more balanced one.   however,  those years had been enough for rumours about the future king:  that he is stuck up,  ignorant,  stubborn and does not listen to anyone.   that’s the prince and future king that the refugees of sol and oberanus expect to meet after the tragic deaths of the royalty.   they have the surprise to meet an empathetic and understanding descendant of the sun,  though,  and they learn to trust him.

besides that,  altan has to deal with perceptions of him related to his fae heritage.   most of these perceptions are quite harmful though they do not always intend to be  ( but they definitely have to be unlearnt ) :   that he is eye candy,   or somehow weaker than the typical man,   or not pureblooded as other royalty  ( this is a perception mainly held by those who do not come from sol ).   there’s a lot of harmful ideas coming from a history of war between fae and humans  ( though also between elves )  that altan has to combat through his time travelling and gathering an army by chandra’s side.   he is often spoken over because of this,   but him and chandra always correct this behaviour swiftly.

for all the rumours and harmful perceptions held about him,  altan’s sense of identity and self-worth rarely waver.   words do nothing to sway him,  though the experience of war,  death and grief are the ones who have a bigger impact on how he views himself  ( e.g:  questioning his role as a soldier,  his anger,  his worth as royalty next to that of other soldiers ).  

[iliakos]

poswiecenia​:

      (  ✨   )               IT WAS ODD FOR THEM    to be welcomed the way they were.   in the centuries of their life they had been shunned for their powers,   what they were and what they could do.   hunters chased them and they’d been    constantly  running and burning to keep themselves afloat.   at some point one grows exhausted with what they have to do to survive and the    FIRE    that usually burns so bright grows limited    ;    begins to die as the strength one possesses begins to grow cold    AND OVERWHELMED.    

FEEBAAPHI HOLDS THEIR    tongue at his words,    holding back their view that there were limited people they could trust    THESE DAYS    due to them all being hunted or dead.   those limited to their coven were,    well,    so spread out it was hard to put reliance on them.   christian on the other hand had    enough    on his plate.         ❝              THANK YOU.    its very kind of you    .  .    where do i go    ———–    i don’t wish to    OVERSTAY A WELCOME.                  ❞            

altan remembers what it used to be like looking for a place to stay at,   to have to ask for the bare minimum of lords and countesses who had been bound to sol and oberanus before nikolai’s forces taking over the kingdoms.    when him and chandra had been crowned as the rightful heirs,   united in front of the sun and moon and all of the other gods,  they promised that no one would feel as though they’d have to beg for decency in their empire.      

“  of course.   a house servant will guide you to one of the inns.  ”   he nods at the guard beside one of the many doors of the palace as a silent order to fetch one of the ladies.     “  until then,   do you wish to tell me more about yourself?    where do you come from?  ”

[iliakos]

Emily Skaja, from “Thank You When I’m an Axe”, Brute

[iliakos]

thinking about altan's spear... how it was fashioned just for him, but novis taught him how to use it and channel power through it... how she spoke to him through light and sunrays and he followed them like a dance, then fighting stances and moves, until it became clesr he was training and worshipping her at the same time... and it's something that he does still....

[iliakos]

It’s about the yearning. the devotion  book, song, poetry starter list, feel free to change pronouns or anything else to make it fit your character better!

❝ I would know his face in dark or disguise. I would know it even in madness. ❞

❝ I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❞

❝ I will never leave him. It will be this, always, for as long as he will let me. ❞

❝ To the ends of the earth, would you follow me? ❞

❝ In my dreams, it’s always you. ❞

❝ Your name fit into my mouth better than my own ever has, like I was born to speak it. ❞ 

❝ There is no room for anything in my body but you. ❞

❝ I think you know how to love better than any of us. That’s why you find it all so painful. ❞

❝ If I had words to speak such a thing, I would have. But there were none that seemed big enough for it, to hold that swelling truth. ❞

❝ I would give all this and heaven too, I would give it all if only for a moment. ❞

❝ How I ruined everything by saying it out loud… ❞

❝ He is half my soul, as the poets say. ❞

❝ You can love a monster, it can even love you back, but that does not change its nature. ❞

❝ What a waste to say the heart could feel apart or feel complete. ❞

❝ Someone will remember us, even in another time. ❞

❝ We were like gods at the dawning of the world, and our joy was so bright we could see nothing else but each other. ❞

❝ I cannot love a hero. I do not want to see you being turned into a statue. ❞

❝ I called your name ‘til my fever broke. ❞ 

❝ There is nothing in the world I wanted more than to hear what he had not said. ❞

❝ The heart is hard to translate, it has a language of its own. ❞

❝I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you. ❞

❝ I made a promise when we were young. I told you I would see you again, no matter what became of us. ❞

❝ We are only human, and the gods fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy. ❞

❝ I am not beautiful, but I could be. ❞

❝ If you didn’t want the beautiful so badly perhaps you would’ve found it in your spirit singing softly. But hunter, you are human. ❞

❝ Because you want to die for love. You always have. ❞

❝ I’d give him all that I am. I’d give him all that I was. I’d tie our hearts together, chamber by chamber. ❞

❝ The blood in your mouth, I wish it was mine. ❞

❝ Be with me always– take any form– drive me mad! ❞

❝ I love you so much I’m going to let you kill me. ❞

❝ When I am dead, I charge you to mingle our ashes and bury us together. ❞

❝ I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again. ❞

❝ You were my new dream. ❞

❝ I wish for earthquakes, eruptions, flood. Only that seems large enough to hold all of my rage and grief. ❞

❝ Speak of her over my grave, and watch how she brings me back to life. ❞

❝ I’ll live without you, though the struggle will be daily. ❞

❝ How dare you ask me to live with it? I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul! ❞

❝ No grave can hold my body down. I’ll crawl home to her. ❞

❝ Don’t leave me in this abyss where I cannot find you! ❞

❝ When he died, all things soft and beautiful and bright would be buried with him. ❞

❝ I cannot conceive of a universe without you in it. ❞

❝ He would go, and I would follow, even into death. ❞

❝ If you have to go, you know I will go with you. ❞

❝ Perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. ❞

[iliakos]

like this for altan in your inbox!!  using poetry / lyrics / random prompts.

[iliakos]

it's hilarious to me when i see people using Romanian words/names/phrases as like, edgy or fantasy names but i also love seeing how the language is framed differently in the minds of others. i love it