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Thea Muldani: a rant

I feel weird about Thea but I can’t really put into words exactly why? So I’m writing down some things I’ve thought.

I honestly didn’t think much about her before TSC, like she was okay (I wish she’d been introduced earlier tho or that she hadn’t graduated already so she was a recurrent Raven player or something).

After reading the extra content I wasn’t bothered about the age gap between her and Kevin but yes a little bit about the fact that Kevin was fourteen when they first met + the -you fuck like a virgin, maybe some practice will make you better at it- comment that Nora included. It was uuhh weird but the rest of the Kevthea story was okay, and Thea is 100% not a groomer. Plus, Nora technically deleted the extra content so in theory nothing there is canon yet.

Now in TSC we get her sole appearance in TKM from Jean’s POV, who has known her since he was fourteen (like Kevin- this is important to keep in mind). The scene starts out cute! We find out she took him under her wing and even had nicknames for him like Paris and her little duckling🥰. So the fourteen year boy that just arrived from france with broken English looked up to her, Thea was ~21 at this point.

We know Jean is going through HELL during this time:

And we also know the Moriyamas were always particularly cruel with Jean, getting more physical him than with Kevin. Even though It’s said that Riko would torture Jean and Kevin (broken hand incident) in private, hence the other Ravens not knowing the whole picture, how can a fourteen year old kid hide such pain? But apparently , as we later find out, Thea was too deep into the Evermore raven cult mindset that she didn’t find anything strange about the coach and Rikk’s behavior towards Jean.

At 15 Jean is given a number and place in the perfect court, but only at 16 joins the lineup. He gets a lot of hate, especially from the other defensemen, whom Thea works with:

Although the Ravens are know for being extremely violent training, at least in the court Thea must have noticed that the defense line were especially brutal to Jean. Or SOMETHING.

But here comes the worst part: during this same year Riko forces Jean to sleep with 5 defensemen. By the time Jean is a junior most of these have graduated which means they were 20 or older. So Thea had been playing with each of these guys for at least 2 years (except for Grayson), she knew them.

They went on to joke and talk about the whole ordeal as Jean paying for his perfect court number. Thea also being in the defense line could have heard all of this first hand, we don’t know. But It’s so widely talked about that it reaches Tetsuji and we do know Thea witnessed Jean’s punishment:

Coincidentally Thea starts a sexual and emotional relationship with Kevin this year (it’s her last too).

So here’s the part that made me dislike Thea very much. In TKM she goes to Kevin demanding answers, Kevin then brings her to Jean, who is looking like this:

It’s been three years since she graduated but she’s still wearing her Raven number in a necklace, and when she sees Jean’s state in TSC she comments how if Kevin hadn’t said anything she’d think it normal:

By now it’s clear she at 26 is still 100% brainwashed, but this next line of hers cemented it:

YOUR OLD TRICKS ?!

So let’s break that down:

1. The immigrant kid (16!) she watched over for two years from age 14 to 16 suddenly starts having sex with members of HER (23!) defense line who are all around her age and openly hate him for 5 consecutive nights and she doesn’t suspect anything?

2. Said defensemen then brag and shame Jean afterwards calling him a whore, which leads to Jean getting beaten half to dead by their coach and still nothing?

3. Years later she recalls the incident as Jean being up to his little tricks and being rightfully beaten to a pulp?!!!!

I can’t. I know she’s also a cult victim but no. It was super common for Ravens to have hate sex with each other but her being close to Kevin (and somewhat Jean) during the time Jean’s (a 16 year old!) assaults were happening and still remaining this clueless… I’m sure she must be lovable for both Kevin and Jean to respect and care for her so much but her one scene convinced me she’s way too deep into the Raven spirit and her presence around Kevin and Jean would be just so harmful.

But I have to give credit when it’s due, apparently after some hours with Kevin and 7 years later she believes her King broke Kevin’s hand:

In conclusion:

Thea is absolutely no groomer but if one takes a look at her attitude towards Jean’s sexual history when he was 16 and how her relationship with Kevin was happening simultaneously, her you fuck like a virgin, maybe some practice will make you better at it and tell me you weren’t up to your old tricks comment combo, it all makes me dislike her. Cause you’d think someone who at 22-23 was dating a boy who had just turned legal would be careful or mature enough to choose her wording better when talking about the sexual activity between a boy close in age to her own boyfriend with people around HER age, but nope. The fact that Kevin married her, has a child and lives happily ever after with her seems unbelievable to me.

PS: Her and Kevin’s (we don’t know if he believes Riko) apparent ignorance or lack of suspicion of Jean’s freshman year assault was the most hurtful part of TSC tbh (not counting Elodie). Imagine having the closest people to you misunderstand/ believe lies about such a traumatic event. I guess this is why Nora didn’t include a Andrew POV, I would have died or wanted to kill Nicky and Aaron for not looking deeper into Andrew’s attitude.

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Jerejean this, Neil ordering a hit that.

There's one thing I need to know. Was if Nora's intention to reference the ancient Greek myth Paris with Jean being given that as a nickname from Thea? Or is it just about the city? I need to know I need to know.

Paris being thrown out as a little child by his parents due the prophecy that he is going to be the reason for a kingdom's collapse. Paris becoming a Prince of Troy.

Jean being sold off by his parents due to their debt to the Moriayamas. Jean being blamed for the fall Edgar Allan Ravens took. Becoming a Trojan.

Paris being tempted by three goddesses promising him great things.

Jean being fucked over by a pretty face mentioned three times.

Paris and Jean being the scape goats of their stories when acting from love and due to powers stronger than them.

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the big olympics reunion (pt.1)

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Fully convinced Mal wouldn't have disliked Audrey nearly as much as she did if Audrey hadn't immediately announced that she was Aurora's daughter. On the limo ride over, she responds positively to the driver's rudeness- Mal likes (or at least respects) people who are mean to her.

Currently imagining an AU where Mal doesn't know Audrey is Sleeping Beauty's kid (maybe Audrey is keeping it a secret from her for whatever reason, maybe cicumstances conspire to make sure she doesn't find out), so she just thinks of Audrey as "random princess with a petty streak" and she loves it tbh. Thank you, random princess, for being mean, it reminds her of home. Makes her feel alive in this pastel hell. Audrey is confused and frustrated by the fact that Mal seems to enjoy her hostility so much.

Ben, however, takes it as a good sign. So, when Audrey complains to him about Mal helping girls speedrun hair styling, he suggests that she take it up with Mal directly because hey, Mal seems to like her. Audrey does not like this idea At All, but she also wants to humor her boyfriend and she's pretty sure Mal's not going to kill her on campus, so she does it. She marches up to Mal's room and demands politely requests that Mal stop giving magic makeovers because goshdarnit, where does that leave those of us who are pretty through genes and work, huh?

Mal is delighted to learn that Audrey is 1) insecure about her position as The Prettiest and 2) is this willing to defend it. That's villainous motivation material, baby! This princess isn't just entertaining, she's potentially useful! And she has ties to the future king. At this point, Evie also takes an interest, because. You know. These kinds of hangups are more or less the entire reason Evie's mom is Like That.

Audrey has a very, very bad feeling about this.

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Master post for Fluent Freshman AU

Here is where you can find every installment of the Fluent Freshman AU since it’s getting a lot longer than I intended considering it was mostly a one off goof post that got some legs in my brain.

Fluent Freshman Extras Masterpost:

HERE

Fluent Freshman Final Draft:

Ao3 Link

Also please note that this story is a rough draft. I am thinking about posting a cleaned up version on Ao3 someday.

Part 01 - “Bunny” “Darling”

Part 02 - “Never have I ever…”

Part 03 - “Hey wanna learn how to use a knife?”

Part 04 - “Oh, I kept some Pepto behind the counter for you.”

Part 05 - “We’re taking a drive.”

Part 06 - “Are we still going on that drive?”

Part 07 - “Sure”

Part 08 - “Those pies look good.”

Part 09 - “We have plans for that whipped cream tonight”

Part 10 - “You can just shove them off.”

Part 11 - “It won’t happen again.”

Part 12 - “You were shopping??”

Part 13 - “That sounds like what someone who wants to lick the spoon would say.”

Part 14 - “Pull out the brownies and go back to sleep Smith.”

Part 15 - “Alright, let’s go to Eden’s!”

Part 16 - “Surprise Me.”

Part 17 - “Acceptable. You know the rules.” Part 18 - “Just enjoy your drink Smith” Part 19 - “What’s your name by the way? Sorry I missed it.“ Part 20 - “I am Miss Congeniality!” Part 21 - “Well, that’s about what I expected.“ Part 22 - “I don’t like that you hid it from me.” Part 23 - “Classified” Part 24 - “Nicky, just calm down!” Part 25 - “Amateurs” Part 26 - “How’s he doing?” Part 27 - “Well then translate for us.” Part 28 - “Captain Neil said you wanted to talk to me.” Part 29 - “He still calls you Captain Neil.” Part 30 - “I don’t even know if they have dental.” Part 31 - “Just me?” Part 32 - “Are you lost?” Part 33 - “Does Kevin Know?”

Part 34 - “What an asshole.”

Part 35 - “You said this was phase one?!”

Part 36 - “Where. Is. My. Car?”

Part 37 - “You don’t…care?”

Part 38 - “Nice Catch”

Part 39 - “We’ll figure something out”

Part 40 - “You look better in orange anyways.”

Part 41 - “No, thank you.”

Part 42 - “Let’s get out of here.”

Part 43 - “I don’t even need this degree.”

Part 44 - “I bet it is.”

Part 45 - “I promise to not make fun of you.“

Offline Doc: HERE

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was revisiting the extra content about Kayleigh and didn’t know she apparently considered salted caramels one of her three favorite things (the other two being sports and sex) and that was well as her very Kevin like ambition/drive/passion one of her most distinct personality traits was being completely unapologetic about who she is and what she brings to the table in any given situation. This is so funny to me because you know who in Kevin’s life is very unapologetic, competent and confident, has a huge sweet tooth and dislikes commitment. And-

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nicky and aaron: when andrew’s on his meds he’s unhinged, but you haven’t seen him when he’s sober! he’s so much worse

andrew off his meds: *has clinical depression*

nicky and aaron: he’s craaazy

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So, I was thinking about how Andrew was in the car with Tilda when he wrecked it and how he could have gotten hurt and I just– Can you imagine if Andrew went deaf in one ear or something?

Like, he for sure wouldn't say anything about it. Aaron hates his guts, and he barely knows Nicky. Why would he bother telling either of them? He probably figures it could be temporary at first, but when he starts to think it might be permanent, he still says nothing about it. It's not like they would care, right?

So he would say nothing. People just think he's this asshole that ignores people (and, sure, sometimes he is ignoring them because people be fucking annoying) but half the time he just legitimately doesn't hear them. None of the Foxes notice. The staff don't either, since Andrew always keeps his hearing ear towards them. It causes issues, sure, but it's not like anyone would be able to fix it, so Andrew still stays quiet. But Neil figures it out.

It takes him a while, but he eventually notices that Andrew always sits on a certain side or has to turn to face Neil when he hasn't quite managed to pick up what he said. He starts watching and realises that he does it with the others too, and he's much more likely to completely ignore someone speaking to his left.

One day, when the monsters are hanging out, Neil finally decides to ask:

Neil decided to speak up during a lull in a conversation that Andrew was totally zoned out of. "Drew?"

"Hmm?" It's subtle, but Andrew definitely turned his right side slightly more towards Neil.

"Can you not hear out of your left ear?" Neil asked, and Andrew just blinked at him for a moment.

"Neil, what are you talking about?" Kevin shot him a confused look.

"I'm deaf in my left ear." Andrew said to answer them both.

"What??" Nicky looked startled. "Since when?"

Andrew considered that for a moment. "Since about a week before we met."

"Hold up," Aaron held up a hand. "Are you telling us you have been deaf in one ear since the crash?"

"Yes."

"And you didn't think to maybe say something about it?!"

Andrew shrugged. "I didn't think you would care." It wasn't a jab, it was just the truth.

"Andrew–" Nicky splittered a little. "Of course we care!"

"Telling you doesn't really make a difference." Andrew said, glossing over his own surprise at how much his family seemed to genuinely care about him. "The hearing loss doesn't just go away because you know about it."

"No," Neil agreed. "But there are things we can do to help."

And they do. They all make small adjustments, simple things that make Andrew's life easier. He and Neil even learn ASL together. It increases the amount Andrew calls them all annoying ten-fold, but he secretly appreciates it.

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Andrew Minyard:

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the idea of nicky bombarding the rest of the monsters with like "yas mama pussy queen slay boots the house down queen" talk to be ironic LITERALLY makes me laugh so hard. because he'd do it, with impeccable comedic timing, and the upperclassmen would die every time. oh my god, i can't get it out of my head.

aaron would just sigh and grimace every time. andrew would be so caught off guard the first few times that it would literally show on his face; the first time the upperclassmen see it they die. kevin and neil would each be so utterly confused the first couple times because it sounds like absolute gibberish to them what's so funny?? they don't get it at all? after a few times they still don't get it but they've gotten used to it. kevin reacts similarly to aaron except with more disgust than disappointment; neil, on the other hand, just plays along, because why not? it makes everyone laugh, it makes nicky happy, and it annoys andrew so much.

nicky: yas queen, slay the boots down mama!

neil: yeah, i'm trying to. thanks. :)

nicky: werk, queen! we love!

neil: thanks, i love you too, nicky. do you want me to call you queen too?

nicky: that's sweet, love, but no. it would sound like a slur. :)

then, one day:

nicky: *makes a good play, has some small accomplishment, etc*

neil, smiling softly: slay!

and with that, he single-handedly sent every one of the foxes to the moon

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Aaron, suddenly sitting up in the middle of the night: if I was gay, would I be attracted to Neil?

Katelyn, half asleep: no honey your type isn't a runner's build

Aaron: what

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neil: joins the foxes

neil: plans to run away and not get attached to anyone on the team so he doesn’t get unalived

neil: meets andrew

neil: roasts mafia heir on live t.v

neil: makes a deal with andrew

neil: gets tortured for andrews safety

neil: gets smooched by andrew

neil:

“i lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship”

art: @lunapiq

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LMAO THE TAGS ACTUALLY MADE ME LAUGH

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Neil would be used to sleeping in his day clothes and having running shoes with no laces he can slip on if he needed to get up and get out quickly. So he’s not used to having shoes with shoelaces right?

I can imagine he’s the type of person who forgets to tie their shoelaces up and then trips about a million times a day. One day Kevin forces Neil to wear shoes with laces on for a game thinking it’ll help him run better. BIG mistake. Andrew makes sure Neil ties his shoelaces this time because he knows how clumsy his idiot is. But Neil stupidly only ties one knot instead of double knotting like you should in a game. So, it gets to the last 10 seconds of the game, the foxes and the opposition are tied, everyone is tense. Nobody notices the Neil accidentally steps on the one end of a lace and undos his left shoe’s laces. So, Neil’s running with the ball in his net, he’s close to scoring, and on his tenth step, he trips on his shoelace and slams down, face first into the ground. What’s crazy is, while he’s falling like a baby bird’s first flight, the ball still ends up flying into the air, and while the goalie is focussed on Neil’s misfortunate fall, the ball whirls past his head and into the goal, scoring the Foxes’ final winning goal.

To this day, the video of Neil’s fall with Andy Williams’ Born Free playing in the background and the camera slowly zooming into Wymack’s face (looking like he regrets every decision he’s made in his life) is the most liked sports-related video of both TikTok and YouTube.

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all for the game but neil just tells the truth about his past and all the foxes think it's an elaborate joke

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One time I was joking with my friend “eat the rich” and Allison Reynolds overheard and she looked like she was trying to decide something. Anyways she gave me her number and I have no clue why. My friend thinks it’s hilarious.

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Nicky gets Allison to re-enact Titanic scenes for the foxes on game night.

Nicky of course, plays Rose.

Allison plays Jack.

The foxes are Tortured by the sight of Nicky and Allison standing on a kitchen table, fan blowing in front of them, Nicky's 10 dollar red wig blowing in the air as he spreads his arms and they both scream the notes to the music.

For the sex in the car scene.. they use 2 anime body pillows and a strap on.. And then throw them at an absolutely HORRIFIED Aaron.

And then.. the Death Scene™️

Nicky is laying on the table, blue lipstick smeared all over his face.

Allison is clutching the table for dear life. She's fading..

Nickys crying "Jack.. JACK.."

All of the foxes are utterly absorbed in the cheap show.

Then.. Nicky looks up, stares at Kevin, pushes Allison's cold dead body off the table, climbs off his "raft",

And screams 'HUNK' as he launches himself at a crying Kevin.