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stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. pick one sports team you hate and blame them for everything

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there's a stage in sandwich consumption where it's falling to pieces & you're desperately cupping it in your hands & it's like this poor wounded animal that is covered in mustard & wants to die

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americans: pssshh you think 80°F is hot???? i'm from big texas this is nothing kid, i might put a coat on actually

europeans: wdym 10°C is cold???? this is shorts weather bro, when you start pissing crystals then we'll talk

unattended raspberries: i went moldy while you were reading this

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the only reason I go on Reddit now is to find these bad two sentence horror posts. they're great. they're bad. but they're great.

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For most people, life doesn’t truly begin until they’re 26-30 or older. The way we romanticize and obsess over youth is super harmful. Your life is not over at 21, I promise you. It’s just beginning

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in case you needed to hear it today:

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re changing lanes

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re taking an exit

it’s okay to use your turn signal when you plan on turning (can even be done sooner than 2 seconds before you’re about to turn)

you have a turn signal. in your vehicle. two of them in fact.

you are so brave and beautiful and smart and can do it. using your turn signal

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keep thinking about this

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the first seasons of spn are so dark cause they didn't want you to be able to see all the gay sex dean was having send tweet

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me as a hotel receptionist: *greets guests by playing hotel california but cutting it off right before they say california*

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girl with three (3) nose piercings and red hair dye = totally stable adult

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notice how everyone is horny today

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sit down, we’re watching houses head wilson’s heart

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you’re beautiful. let’s sleep through our alarms together

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First I park my wife