imakristen

[imakristen]

Right, so: Darren hasn’t been much of a contributor since Starship, and in my opinion, it shows.

Here are the lyrics of the iconic opening number he penned for AVPM:

Underneath these stairs I hear the sneers and feel the glares Of my cousin, my uncle and my aunt Can't believe how cruel they are And it stings my lighting scar To know that they'll never ever give me what I want

[These are just the first few lines. Note the rhyme scheme, the complex sentences, and the skillfully packaged joke - the melodrama of the lines paired with the ultimate pettiness of his actual complaint at the end draw a big laugh]

I know I don't deserve these Stupid rules made by the Dursleys Here on Privet Drive Can't take these stupid muggles But despite all of my struggles I'm still alive

[These feel like fairly natural phrases, things that a person might actually say,  which just happen to rhyme. Note also the amount of backstory and references worked in: the lightning scar, Privet Drive.]

I'm sick of summer and this waiting around. Man, its September, so I'm skipping this town Hey it's no mystery, there's nothing here for me now... I gotta get back to Hogwarts I gotta get back to school I gotta get myself to Hogwarts Where everybody knows I'm cool Back to witches and wizards, and magical beasts To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts It's all that I love, and it's all that I need At Hogwarts, Hogwarts I think I'm going back... I'll see my friends, gonna laugh 'til we cry Take my Firebolt, gonna take to the sky No way this year anyone's gonna die, And it's gonna be totally awesome I'll cast some spells, with a flick of my wand Defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on! And do it all with my best friend Ron, 'Cause together we're totally awesome!

[Okay, so I’ll stop here. You can see that these lyrics are pretty tight through, yeah? Densely packed with clever rhymes, background information (firebolt, best friend ron, etc. etc.), a couple of jokes, and most importantly, always reinforcing the character attributes of Harry that they’re satirizing in the musical: his immaturity, his desire for personal glory and adventure, etc.]

Here are the lyrics for the first number from Holy Musical Batman.

He's got Gotham He'll never refuse 'em He's got bat nunchucks And boy, he knows how to use 'em!

I REST MY CASE

[imakristen]

Musical Options

Kinky Boots - I’ve heard this isn’t great.

Chicago - This production has been running since 1996 and often features minor stars in one or both starring roles - for example, right now Roxie Hart is being played by former Spice Girl Mel B. No word on who’ll be in the cast this summer. It’s a solid musical, we know that much, and it might be cool if there’s someone we vaguely like in it at the time. 

Aladdin - By this summer, I believe Aladdin will be played by Wes the Warbler from Glee. So that’s cool.

Miss Saigon - This is a new revival, with the four main roles brought over from a very successful London revival.

Waitress -  This one’s the Sara Bareilles musical. At least one of the songs is very pretty. 

In Transit - An acapella musical partly written by Kristen Anderson-Lopez, who co-wrote Frozen, about NYC, similar story structure to ‘Love Actually.’

The Book of Mormon - Benny and I just went to go see this. It’s all right.

Wicked - There are no big names starring in this one any more, but it’s a big flashy production and we already know we like the music.

Phantom of the Opera - This is a very stale and tired production. 

On Your Feet! - Based on the lives of Emilio and Gloria Estefan.

The Lion King - Lion King is fantastic live. You always get the same show each time, and it’s always amazing. It’s a safe bet but perhaps not the most exciting choice?

Dear Evan Hansen - I can’t find much on what this musical is actually about. The website says it’s about “life and the way we live it.” Avoiding spoilers, I think. Madison McCarthy from the sixth season of glee is in it. I feel like I’ve heard good things.

Cats - Nostalgia value?

Hello Dolly - In this production, Dolly is Bette Midler, and she’s romancing Niles from Fraiser. That could be fun.

Beautiful: The Carole King Musical - I mean, do you like Carol King? She’s alright.

School of Rock - This is supposed to be a fun one. Based on the movie. Lots of very talented kids who can really play and sing live.

BRAND NEW MUSICALS (opening in March or April of this year):

Groundhog Day - Based on the movie, coming over from the West End, where it was successful.

Amelie - Based on the movie, which I liked, about a quirky girl falling in love in Paris. Starring Phillipa Soo, who was in the original Hamilton cast.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Based on the movie, the good one. But all the children except for Charlie will be played by adults? I don’t... even?

War Paint - Patti Lupone is in it?

Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812  - Josh Groban’s Broadway debut.

Bandstand

Come From Away

A Bronx Tale

I can’t tell you a thing about those last three. They’re just brand new, mostly headed by Broadway vets but no huge stars, no one I’ve heard of more than vaguely or by association. 

[imakristen]

I’m a Kristen.

I’m a Kristen.