I like writing! Sometimes it's my own brain worms, sometimes it's fanfic. 20 he/him
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What if your venomous monster partner accidentally bit you and you’re both freaking out, but then you quickly discover that their venom not only isn’t fatal to humans but actually acts as an aphrodisiac for you?
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Monster Caretaker x Reader
content: gender neutral reader, reader with arthritis, fluff, Patreon request
Out of sheer curiosity, or perhaps to prove yourself something, you decided to sign up with a Monster Agency: they would match humans with eager monstrous creatures for all kinds of purposes. They were told, of course, that you had arthritis and required a little more understanding than the average human, so you didn’t expect high demand for someone like you, often weak and prone to flare ups.
You most certainly didn’t expect to be presented with a thick, tall folder of potential matches. It’s the ones who want to meet you, the agent explained factually. As it turns out, a lot of beasts dreamed of being able to care for a human, whether out of romantic desire or simply as a form of platonic comradery.
That’s how you met your current partner; a gargantuan, nightmarish being, one that instilled quite a lot of fright within your marrow upon the first encounter. For a second time you found yourself stumbling back in surprise – that such a colossal monstrosity would be so incredibly gentle and kind. The voice that spilled from his crooked, fanged mouth was warm, of a politeness that most certainly didn’t fit the imposing frame. He walked you back to his place, and you couldn’t help but quietly snicker at his awkward stumble as he tried to match your pace. Yes, yes, there’s no hurry, he reassured, nearly tiptoeing besides you and guiding the path with a clawed hand.
You would argue that you’re fairly independent and your circumstances are but a mere hiccup in daily life. Your newly appointed partner, however, appears to be rather protective, even touching the realms of exaggeration. Without exception, he starts the day by waking you up and helping you get dressed. He knows you sometimes struggle to get up, especially on bad days. He will follow you around, narrating your schedule and making sure that everything is happening according to your wishes. Moreover, as you’ve quickly learned, your terrifying caretaker is quite observant, picking up the smallest changes in your posture, the slightest twitch of your smile. He can instantly tell if you’re feeling insecure, maybe due to the bold redness around your joints, or the visible swelling building across your hands. If that’s the case, he will gingerly lift your limb closer to his snout and pepper it with kisses, merely grazing above the skin, careful to not bring you further injury.
‘I’m a little stiff, not incapacitated,” you declare, increasingly impatient. “You don’t need to do all this.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it, beloved (Y/N). It’s just, well,” the creature begins, awkwardly glancing away, “I’ve discovered, to my great shame, that I get utterly lonely if I’m not taking care of you.
Perhaps it’s mostly my needs that come into play.”
Indeed, you’ll have to excuse his enthusiasm. He is, after all, helplessly enamoured with this frail human residing in his home. It would be a mistake to assume that you're the one relying on him: it's the other way around.
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the mythbusters episode about how lying down for a little is as good as sleeping actually did tremendous harm to me. i struggled with insomnia for years and any time i brought it up to parents, friends, lovers, healers, spiritual guides, enemies, strangers, handymen, mechanics, they would invariably bring up that one episode to diminish and invalidate my suffering. and there's other things. the explosions are loud, violent. their masculine bombast just isn't suited for a society based on emotionally mature communication and interpersonal effectiveness. the bald one's ruddy face and occipital bun give him a sort of catholic hideousness, although his little hat is cute
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“He would not fucking say that” except its the badly written source material so he did, in fact, say that
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By now, you all must have seen the news that Gaza had officially run out of food, as one of the main aid suppliers in Gaza, World Food Program, had announced that their stock has been completely depleted, leaving just a few days for community kitchens to function.
This comes after more than 50 days (and counting) of Israel's complete closure of the borders, preventing food and medicine, among other life essentials, from entering Gaza. There are children crying out of hunger with trucks loaded with over 100,000 tons of food mere minutes away from them, which Israel continues to prevent from entering besieged Gaza.
This also comes after Israel had deliberately destroyed swaths of farmlands in Gaza, specifically targeting them with bombs and chemical weapons that destroy the chance of growing crops. Israel also made sure bakeries are destroyed as well as water sources.
Diabolical is an understatement when it comes to the Zionist entity.
There are still things you can do. On top of raising awareness and protesting when possible, independent organisations like APN are working directly with farmers in Gaza to rehabilitate the agricultural sector and restore local food systems to combat famine, counter the blockade and build food sovereignty. You can donate to their Revive Gaza's Farmlands initiative here.
Additionally, keep in mind that this means whatever food supplies remain available in Gaza now costs astronomical amounts of money, so keep sharing and donating to individual fundraising campaigns. Gazafunds is a good source if you're not sure where to start. Remember that your donations and shares are often the only source of hope for these families.
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Thinking about MC introducing Mychael to friendship bracelets.
Letting Mychael see the collection that you’ve grown over the years, watching him trace each one with wonder in his eyes. And when he tries one on? Oh, the little guy wants to make one so bad.
Why wouldn't he? A little trinket shared between only the two of you, and he was certain that his would be the best.
He's looking up at you, using puppy-dog eyes as he asks in the most soft voice you've ever heard: "Could I make some?"
So three hours and five cans of energy drinks later, he completed it.
His first friendship bracelet.
Various shades of green, mixed in with oak brown, laced around your wrist with a happy smile. A faint blush coated Mychael's cheeks as he looked up at your for your reaction.
A gentle kiss against his forehead.
It was safe to say that Mychael did not make anymore bracelets that night, mainly because he was busy hyperventilating and panicking about the fact that you kissed him.
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i must not kill myself . killing myself is the myself killer
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Maybe don't pick fights with teenagers
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Toby Fox is trying to MURDER ME

#undertale#deltarune#undertale deltarune#undertale newsletter#toby fox#noelle holiday#noelle deltarune#kris dreemurr#dess holiday#deltarune newsletter
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Human: *crying, in pain, experiencing minor neurological symptoms* This is delicious, what's in it? Alien: ...our strongest, deadliest poison. Human: How much for a bottle to send home? My mom would absolutely love it. Alien: If you let a team of our finest scientists deliver it and study her reaction, it's free. Human: Sweet, I'm sure she'd be up for that, let me give her a call--
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tumblr discourse after 13 years on this fucking website
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When I was a kid first getting accustomed to the wonderful world of computers and the internet, one of my favorite things to do was download print-out coloring sheets and mangle them in MS Paint.
This one was my favorite I think. I was 11 going on 12. Also I had no idea how much a pizza cost.
Date modified: 1/29/2002 2:49PM
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I think i saw you mention Gav's Starline series once, so i came to ask you if you listened to the first episode of season three?
YES I HAVEEEE
I love how the listener characters have evolved as time has gone on. Plus the code name "Hermes" for a human messenger duing a galactic cold war is badass.
I'm already attached to the new love interest. A big tough scaly alien man, and he's a cowboy?? BITCH!!
Also there's a mysterious and dangerous villian who fucking hates us for some reason. Who's voiced by a whole different person!! The production value has gotten so much higher, honestly I'm kinda nervous about this series.. What if it changes my monsterfucking brain chemistry forever
#this post is an endorsement of Starline III by Gav VA on YT#I and II kind of reshaped my entire taste in men ngl#if you're interested in alien x listener stuff i highly recommend#one begins a teeny bit janky but he finds his voice quick and it's still a fun listen#answered ask#imagines#x reader#alien x human#alien x reader#monster x human#alien imagines#humans and aliens
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[+18]
Alien would prefer to use a strap on his darling during the first few times doing penetrative sex on account of their weird tentacle dick and they're apprehensive about the effects their cum has on humans (it's 1000% safe, but Al's saliva temporarily becomes acidic when combined with baking soda so they feel they can never be too safe since a fair amount of their anatomy is a mystery to him.) Oral and hand stuff waves off most of their worries, but also Al is a virgin who's already been established to cum at the very sound of his darling's voice so full on sex with them would have Al overestimated before they even stick the tip in.
"You ever turn on a water hose on full blast and watch it flop around from the force of the stream? That's pretty much what my dick would be like inside you."
#ARGFFHHHHFG#this is my shit#very cool oc op im digging everything about em#a lot more explicit than what i usually post but cmonnn this is peak nonhuman fiction#reblog#yandere alien#yandere imagines#yandere x you#yandere headcanons#yandere scenarios#yandere insert#yandere x reader#yandere#nsft warning
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