imreallynotthatsmart73 - Tumblr blog

imreallynotthatsmart73 · 26 days ago

Text

she looked beautiful as ever before

pirate paige x mermaid azzi

synopsis: azzi has grown up under the glimmering waters of the wide, vast ocean. sheltered and hidden carefully beneath the surface, she longs for any semblance of human interaction. paige, roughened up by years at sea, has never cared too much about making friends or keeping company. all changes after one interaction with a friendly curly-haired mermaid, who makes it clear she means to stay in paige’s life.

wc: 3.1k

a/n: hey guys! paige’s wag talk video absolutely ended me, i remember when we were in the TRENCHES last year. anyways i've never posted on tumblr before, so i’m sorry if this is crappy lmao. i will improve i promise. you can also tell that i had way to much fun with this concept, because i was just whipping things out of my ass. enjoy!

Azzi Fudd has always been surrounded by water. From the day she was born, she has been tucked safely away under the clear blue waters of the pacific ocean, from the two-legged species that walk on land, from danger. It is an absolute rule in the Fudd clan that no mermaid should even go in the near vicinity of a human.

They are malicious, cruel, and have brought no good to the blue-tailed merfolk of the Fudd family. Really, Azzi just thinks that her parents are still mad over the supposed “kidnapping” of her older cousin. Whisked away by a human man with promises of gold and fame, her cousin’s disappearance has left an angry red strain on the relationship between her family and the land creatures.

And, to be fair, Azzi isn’t just a regular mermaid. She’s the princess to the kingdom of Oceania, ruled over by the Fudd clan. Her duty as princess involves being the victim of her brothers’ numerous pranks, and looking pretty in the throne room while her parents argue with foreign ministers. She knows that she’s spoiled, and that she's gotten everything she’s ever wanted, except for the chance of interacting with a real human.

So, now, being 22 years of age, and still having not seen a human, Azzi is naturally frustrated. When your only form of entertainment is talking to fish for fun, you start to go a little crazy (and oh, don’t even get her started on the mermen). And, plus, they can’t possibly be that bad. She suspects that her parents would lock her into a clam shell just to keep her safe, as long as she never ever escapes from their grasp.

The tales of the human world are so enticing, she's heard stories of star-crossed lovers, warriors who conquer new land through brutal strategies, and Azzi’s personal favorite, dresses that involve cinching your waist so tight it cuts off your airways. It’s wonderful, it’s terrifying, it’s new.

She’s so tired of being trapped underwater, forbidden from even seeing a hint of the sun, and she wants out now.

Currently, Azzi is going out for her weekly scheduled meet-up with her good friend Jerry, who inconveniently, is a turtle.

Azzi halts when she sees him, already bracing for the lecture he is about to expel on her. She doesn’t even know why she still gives him her time of day, surely she has better things to do than talk to an aged turtle.

“I don’t understand why your father just won’t let you cross the boundary, it’s not like humans will jump down and steal you as soon as you’re an inch outside the line.” Jerry exclaims, exasperated from traveling to their designated meeting spot, just eight feet from the harshly drawn boundary dug into the sand by her family.

“Yeah yeah, they say it’s not safe because they can’t see me beyond it, who knows what’s gonna be waiting for me out there. And plus, you look like you need the workout.” Azzi replies, absentmindedly combing her hair out with a three-pronged fork, ignoring the fuming turtle beside her.

Jerry shakes his head, “You’re like a grown woman in human years, why can’t you just break out of your shell for once. I mean, at this rate you’re going to be gray and withered before ever seeing a human face.”

Azzi stops and thinks about this possibility. She never really imagined herself actually meeting a human, and if she did, and she didn’t look like her super attractive self right now, she would die. In fact, she is confident that she could easily win anyone over with her current appearance. She suddenly feels to need to be seen, she would hate for her beauty to go to waste.

Azzi stops combing her hair, looks down to the turtle, and huffs, “Okay, what do you want me to do about it.”

Jerry grins, as if to say I got you, “My seal friends told me that they spotted a boat floating not too far away from Oceania, the sailor must’ve gotten lost at sea, because nobody comes in this region.” Jerry exclaims excitedly, almost completely forgetting that Azzi was there.

Azzi squints at him. “So… You want me to stalk and hunt down some poor guy who’s already clearly having a hard time at sea?” she replies like a brat, then immediately starts concentrating more on her hair than the turtle in front of her.

“No you idiot, I’m trying to get you to help him, so you can have your fairytale princess moment.” Jerry huffs, neck bulging out as far as it will go out of his shell.

Azzi then perks up at this, clearly amused by the idea. “Oh please, they probably are just gonna think that I’m trying to lure them into my underwater cave and have my way with them.”

Jerry smirks, “I bet you would love to do that.”

Azzi now thinks about the situation presented to her. Be daddy’s good girl or actually get a life outside of palace walls and talking turtles.

“Well… Since the opportunity has clearly been presented to me… I suppose breaking some rules can’t hurt. I mean, it’s not like my dad can actually get mad at me. He might just take away my pet goldfish and forget about this whole thing two days later.” Azzi turns around and squints at her family’s underwater palace, praying that nobody would notice her absence. “My parents did say that they had a business meeting today with the shark king that keeps stealing my seashell bras. Pervert.”

Jerry scoffs, “Oh please, who wouldn’t want to steal bras from the princess of Oceania if they could? I’m sure your dad is having a blast roasting him right now. Anyways, the boat is that way, your highness.”

Azzi ducks behind a section of coral reef and swims up.

As Azzi reaches the surface of the water, she considers if this is even worth it. What if this human had intentionally placed their boat here just to lure her out? If they did, it had sure the hell worked. But whatever, the time for second thoughts was well over now.

As Azzi slowly rises out of the water, head peeking out over the surface, she is met with a vision.

A woman, blonde hair covered half-way by a red bandana, wearing a loose-fitting shirt that shows her very sexy arms, and worn linen pants, hanging loosely off her hips. She's staring out into the ocean with furrowed brows, seemingly stewing in her own air, and Azzi can't help but notice how intensely blue her eyes are. She's never actually seen a real human before, and quite frankly, if they all look like that, she'll be exclusively hunting them from now on.

In fact, she almost topples over in the water from sheer excitement, and starts blushing madly before remembering her dignity, or, what’s left of it. She quickly fixes her already fixed hair, and takes a look at her top, wishing she had worn her pearl studded one instead of her regular blue seashells. Anyways, it was too late to think about all of that, she had a woman to seduce.

She slowly swims toward the boat, careful to not let her presence be known, eyes roaming over an open spot on the boat where she could perch herself on. She pulls her upper body up halfway onto the spot, crossing her arms in the process. Then she leans into her shoulders and opens her eyes wider, to resemble a doe.

“Hey hun, you lost or something?” Azzi drawls, batting her lashes and leaning over the boat, hoping that her aura is giving sex appeal and not twitchy loser.

The woman whips her head towards Azzi, eyes flickering up and down until finally settling on a spot suspiciously close to her breasts.

“Uh, you’re like kinda on my freshly washed pants…” The blonde replies, raising one of her eyebrows.

Azzi looks down, and sees a pair of pants clearly set out to dry, and slowly backs off. “Oh shit, sorry…” The air was suddenly filled with a sense of awkwardness that of course only Azzi could create. She wonders how many pretty women flirt with this blonde on a daily basis, for a pair of pants to matter more than the absolute performance Azzi is giving right now. But before the awkwardness could linger for any longer, the woman opens her mouth and replies.

“Yeah, well anyways, no I’m not lost, I’m just trying to figure out where that big english ship I’ve been on a manhunt for went.” The blond huffs, looking out toward the horizon for a nonexistent ship.

Azzi doesn't even consider the human's words, just sees the opportunity for a conversation flash before her eyes, and immediately jumps in.

“Oh ships? I love ships! Do you have any friends on that ship you’re looking for?” Azzi replies cheerfully, doing what she thinks is called small talk.

The blonde seems concerned by Azzi’s eagerness to talk to her. “No, I’m trying to loot it, I heard it was stacked full of precious metals. Enough gold to last me another six months.” she says simply, now eyeing Azzi down, taking note of her pearl necklace.

Azzi clutches her pearls. “Well, you should know… I’m like the best ship hunter in this ocean. I have like, really sharp vision. Oh! And also, I have a super pretty singing voice, I’m sure it could attract any sailor.” Azzi smiles, despite knowing absolutely nothing about ships, and even less about attracting sailors. At least her good voice was legit.

The blonde woman is now leaning over the side of the ship, an uncomfortable distance near Azzi’s face. “That's good, maybe you can help me out. What’s your name?”

“My name? My name's Azzi, what about you?” she replies, now grinning wildly, she thinks she’s getting hypnotized by those blue eyes.

“My name’s Paige, nice to meet you. You live round here?” Paige responds, now taking notice of the utter beauty of the girl in front of her. Azzi’s smile is contagious, bunny teeth peeking out perfectly from her lips. Her curly hair fans around her face like a halo, curls fresh from the water. She’s got an alluring, deeply magnetic energy, and Paige could easily get lost in her smile. In fact, Paige is now a little suspicious that this might be a siren, trying to lure her to her death.

Azzi puffs up her shoulders and tilts her chin up, “Oh yeah, my dad’s like… the king of this part of the ocean. So, you really shouldn’t mess with me.”

“Nice, so you’re like what, a princess? You sure are pretty enough to be one.” Paige smirks, watching as a blush slowly creeps onto Azzi’s face. She’s surprised that a little compliment could have such an effect on the mermaid.

“Mhm, princess of Oceania, except my parents only really care about my brothers. What about you? You catch fish for a living or something?” Azzi bats her eyelashes as she speaks, praying that Paige doesn’t think that she’s having some kind of a seizure.

Paige crosses her arms, “Not quite. I attack ships and steal cargo. Then trade the cargo with the ports of wealthy western countries. Make quite some money out of it.” Paige blinks at Azzi. “What’s the purpose of this conversation? Are you trying to lure me into something?”

Azzi’s left eye twitches, “Lure you? Of course not, I just wanted to know more about your… Species. Is it true that you make people walk the plank? I’ve heard my family’s orcas talking about seeing dead bodies in the water.”

“Walk the plank? No, of course not. We prefer a much quicker death. Like by hanging.” Paige scoffs, then laughs at Azzi’s expression. “I’m just kidding, I’m a lone pirate, I tend to choose peace over that kind of stuff.” She pauses, then adds, “Well, unless someone tests me, then I tend to leave no mercy.”

Azzi gives a nervous grin, “Glad to know I won’t be testing you anytime soon. But seriously, I’m a curious individual. What if we made an exchange? I seek out ships for you, maybe even do some singing, and you can show me parts of your human world.”

Paige raises an eyebrow, “What do you mean by showing you parts of the human world? That seems oddly vague.”

The mermaid laughs, then gives a sly smile, “Oh I don’t know, maybe some exchange of that precious cargo of yours, or maybe even an exchange of your precious company. I am a very lonely princess.”

“Well... I guess that couldn’t hurt, I think I get way more out of it than you do.” the pirate smirks, blonde hair falling down her shoulders as she leans in closer to Azzi.

“Oh, and I want to see one of those places where water falls from a mountain. Everybody has been whispering about it, and I hate being in the dark about things.” Azzi puffs, eyes shining in anticipation.

Paige chuckles, then lightly taps Azzi’s nose. “Deal.”

Paige doesn’t really know how she got into this situation, or why she even made that deal in the first place. At first, the idea of discovering new ships and gaining a good method of ambushing them sounded delightful, but now as she stares at the curly-headed mermaid perched on the deck of her boat, she is rethinking all of her life decisions.

She has way more things to be doing, way more gold to be stealing, than to be teaching a mermaid how to play the harp. Hell, Paige doesn’t even think she knows how to play the harp, she just took the first valuable thing she saw when she was attacking the private ship of the princess of Spain. Or maybe it was the princess of Belgium. Does Belgium even have a princess?

Anyways, the only thing Paige is getting out of this whole ordeal is eyeing Azzi down, watching as the setting sun frames her brown hair, casting a golden glow around her body. Paige wouldn’t be surprised if Azzi was an angel impersonating as a mermaid. The ocean seems to revolve around her, waves protecting Paige’s boat as long as Azzi was somewhere near it. Paige swears that she's seen dolphins leaping out of the water, just to get a quick glance of them. She guesses that it would be weird if a princess didn’t have security guards around her.

Azzi’s brow twitches in frustration after she plucks out another terrible note, then pushes the harp away from her, and focuses instead on the blonde in front of her. Azzi smiles warmly, “So… How’d you end up here by yourself anyway? Don’t you people like to conjugate in groups?”

Paige looks stricken by the question for a second, but then her face relaxes into her calm, usual demeanor. She turns her head to look off into the ocean, then sighs and turns back to face Azzi. “I was captain of a notorious ship once, we were known as one of the best pirate ships in the whole Caribbean, but time caught up to us. Those nasty english envoys got close and set our ship on fire, and I was the only one to make it out alive. So since then I decided to just go solo, and plus, it’s nice not having to argue over who has the night shift I guess.”

Azzi blanches, not expecting to touch on such a sensitive topic. “I’m sorry, they probably meant a lot to you.” She looks out into the water, not having much to add on.

Paige shrugs, “It’s fine, I’ve had worse happen to me. Believe me. And plus, all good things have to come to an end sometime.” She then stares into her hands for a long time, as if conjuring up a past memory.

Azzi shifted closer to Paige, trying to lighten the mood, “Your life sounds so eventful, I bet you’ve never been bored before. I have nothing to do all day except pick at seaweed and talk to turtles, you’re the only interesting part of my day.”

That was true. Ever since she’s started meeting up with Paige, it was the only thing in her day that she actually looked forward to. Her father is convinced that she’s met some new merman because of the way she’s been cheesing around the palace for the past few days. She even bumped straight into Jerry in one of her love sick dazes, he had looked at her with a glint in his eyes and a shake of his head.

Paige’s voice shakes her back into reality.

“You’re telling me that talking to a pirate is more interesting than your perfect little princess life? Someone must really like me.” Paige grins, showing off a shiny gold tooth in the process.

“My perfect little princess life revolves around doing nothing but petting fish and waiting for dinner time to roll around.” Azzi huffs, then side eyes Paige. “So, yes, talking to a two-legged creature who is so called ‘rich in knowledge’ is very interesting to me.”

“I am rich in knowledge. In fact, I’m just plain rich too, piracy is a dangerous but well-paying profession.” Paige replies calmly, she thinks she deserves her bragging rights after all that she’s been through.

Azzi smirks, “Okay show off, but I bet you don’t know what a mermaid’s kiss can do to you though.”

Paige just gives her a raised eyebrow.

Azzi sighs, then looks at the darkening sky, golden hour having been long gone. “Well I guess it’s time for me to go, those nuggets of gold I paid to the palace guards aren’t gonna hold up much longer. You sure aren’t a cheap person to talk to.” Azzi then dives into the ocean water, moonlight reflecting off of her scales, blue tail curving up into a perfect crescent moon.

“Is that a compliment? Paige grinned, and then stood up to walk over to the railing of the boat.

Azzi pops up from the water, head turning to look up at Paige, water dripping off her shoulders like liquid gold. “No, just means that you’re gonna have to pay me back soon. And I still have yet to see the place where water supposedly falls off a mountain.”

Paige smiles, not annoyed by Azzi’s nagging. “I heard that a mermaid's kiss can give you the ability to breathe underwater, is that true?” Paige asks, leaning further down the boat, face mere inches away from Azzi’s.

The silence is thick for a moment, charged with unspoken thoughts, neither of them moves.

Azzi hesitates, then says, “No, but I know that it can certainly bring you good luck and protection.”

She winks, gives Paige’s lips a quick peck, and then dives down into the water.

#pazzi fics #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #paige x azzi #paige bueckers fic #what if azzi was a mermaid and paige was a pirate

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