imtiredofthis1-blog

[imtiredofthis1-blog]

logging off

[imtiredofthis1-blog]

my last few words to the world

lol chase your goal

do you

this is already making my drive much stronger, i just really can’t believe my dreams have been a true medium.. and whatever like do you chase whatever you’re tryna get out of that.. whether it’s a fuck toy another seemingly failed relationship, i bid you good luck on your adventure.. you’re funny to me now

like you really sat on your phone to do that yikes..

it’s funny cause i think we’ll are people to scared to human communication can we not do it physically everything has to be birthed electronically so we’re comforted from a distant web whatever i don’t wanna indulge my time into you and this this has been the key to my chain being broken..

it’s still funny to me.. like two months.. you probably created this earlier knowing you.. i can’t lie im human and this did open wounds but i sat there and was like well it’s easy for you it’s always been easy for you.. i mean ou cheated you went behind other ex’s backs and who knows even me you’ve probably done dirty.. so yeah i have a right to say fuck you.. you don’t change.. you really don’t

you really long for attention from others and i support that go ahead be a bunny..

anyways welcome home whore

1/30

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im shutting this off i don’t need to talk anymore

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so tell me why i dreamed this and it literally fucking true.. tell me two months is good enough for you.. tell me why you really don’t change.. tell me why it was that fucking easy in range.. i’m enraged im baffled im fucking pissed it’s my emotions coming out again cause i can’t believe this.. i fucking dreamed this .. and now you’re on a catalog.. whether it was consciously or pushed to you.. fuck you.. you add to your definition .. i don’t ever wanna see you again .. and it’s me inside again fucking unhappy unconvinced that you literally took the time of your day to become a panel, a page to other people to distribute whether your good enough for them or not a scale system.. what pity.. how petty

fuck you valerie.. i really can’t believe my dreams are true.. this will fuel time to live better and to truly understand what makes you.. you really add such horrible essence you’re a succubus a demon

you have no heart

you have no soul

fuck you valerie

[imtiredofthis1-blog]

it’s 4:32

i wake up every morning around weird times is there a reason a reason why i do this.. when i think about random days i would wake up .. i remember the night we use to wake up in sweat.. that was from radiance we had the amount of warmth our bodies gave every morning you were like an oven.. with me.. anyways that was a reason we’d wake up but on these days when i’m by myself is it the same or am i just waking up for a superstition reason .. or like a weir ftelepahtic reason idk it’s just constant every morning i wake up.. at 2-6 am .. are you up? or is it just me waking up... anyways i’m gonna dice in again and give out to live out..

i tend to filter through your twitter and every time i find a relevant like to our condition it makes me feel open.. like this one i found talks about the fact that someone broke up with someone cause they weren’t happy but still in love with them.. and love isn’t happiness and you have to take that in but it not going in depth with it cause it’s late and i just do these quick late blogs so i can go back to dream world.. but anyways i look at this and just take it in and think well you do still love me.. it’s just that we weren’t happy.. but i hold my deciphering and just try to take in this pov or i should say this open wisdom from relevant people situations.. everything’s weird

i only check on you cause i wanna see that you’re alive.. i wanna see that you’re thriving with life .. i don’t know i care for you.. i maintain distance and ive broken a bit communication with you before and acted impulsively or rather hectic and i’m just trying to maintain and work on it so i just visually pass through to you and come here sometimes i wish you read those sometimes i wish we could talk sometimes i wish i had someone to get this out too and really just stop you’re a never metronome inside me and you are my drive to work better to be better to develop and maintain.. i thank you for this i thank you for protecting me and being human with care and love.. and at times i wish to give back to you the little that i can scrounge for you from left over wealth or my interior but as i think i just rather leave you alone.. i mean think about it i send you a birthday card with a framed picture from sakuracon and several other developed photos about say 8x10 size pieces.. how would it make you feel will i be invasive.. will it be creepy.. will i be crossing lines,.. the more i think about the bad the more i just believe it is bD.. so i distance my self anymore.. and more and more..

mis this really am end to how i feel will i really replace you futuristically will i lay with her and think back to you.. and not lay in a sexual form but in a sleeping time.. it hurts hurts to be like this and i can’t seem to neglect or dismiss because i really do ponder you and think about your end.. but i just think well she’s gotta be better she’s holding up she’s in a better place she must not think about it and these thoughts are assumptions but i just don’t know anymore.. i miss time i miss emotions i miss friendship amd most of all i miss you.. which is all these misses as a whole ..

ots late im late and the more i ponder you and write it on here i just channel and forget forgive and move

and if i were to tell you the truth i don’t want to do all these things said.. i judy wanna come home.. but it’s for the best or so i believe it is.. i acted out i acknowledge this i also develop this.. but our time is up.. i placed my mark on you.. and i hope you don’t see me as someone who’s at that peak forever and can’t develop because i do and sometimes i also do sit here and think do you not believe i can change..?

and it drives me more to change to alter to fix and prodeuce a better me.. from in to out.. this mark we had this really scarred me and is going to make me take it in and out bring development,.. but i can’t type it i must act and show it.. and i won’t lie there might be days i break and produce the repetitive behavior both willingly or unwillingly.. but again i will try to withold and build..

whst else can i let go.. my energy is being aligned.. yeah i think this is it.. oh umm i do rather contemplate this a lot do you come here ever do you ever NLyze me do you ever sit in whatever place you rest or reside and think did he post again or i wonder about him.. it’s okay if you do or don’t.. i don’t really long for attention but i do long for your attention your specifically.. i should stop.. but it’s like i don’t do this for you i do it for me to relax and i can’t lie though i do try to talk to you on here through a threAd of web to get you to either think or feels good about me still caring about you and when i say think i mean about changing your perception on xan how change and will he..

a while ago now that i think of it i posted something about birth control.. and yeah i did assume.. but what really got me because i tend to get into your health and wrapped my care into your health was because around january you were suppose to get a switch.. arm bar and i was like whoa... because some days you said it be possible for you to get pregnant even when you had it and the minute i saw it the control i was like whoaaaaaa no way are you???? but i don’t know much about drugs and if plan b is suppose to be within a day or two or it can be taken whenever.. so in reality i was like did we almost have a kid.. then i did also jump to other things and that made me gloomy and stupid to think about it..

but the thing i mostly wrapped around was were you almost pregnant with a kid from us.. and yeah i did think about other things too but i’m only human to think..

anyways whatever type of apology or conclusion i was trying to draw to you so be it whatever you wish to NLyze from it ..

i hope you had a good day and hope you have one from these days on.. i wish i heard you say congrats on the second job cause no one over here did lol 😨😅 ://// except for my younger sister.. lol :////

anywyas its

xo 1/30 5:03

i love you valerie and i hope we can blossom within and without eachother

[imtiredofthis1-blog]

bloop

[imtiredofthis1-blog]

well i got it

so now success is closer my goals are closer..

my dream is closer.. i remembered today i have long lashes lol and they tend to get curly.. i’m like a pretty girl lol it’s funny to me.. then i remember about things being said about my lashes and how my seed will they have them.. weird.. anyways

i don’t know as to when i start i’ll probably come in thursday or saturday IM SOOOO FUCKING JAPPY THOUGH I CAN FINALLY FET DISCOUNTS ON CLOTHES AND GYM WEAR 😨😨😨🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀 YESSSHDJDHDKSISHDHIDHD

it’s great i’m feeling great everything is passing and i’m looking up now.. no more unhappy here i come new and fresh.. umm what else..

i guess if you want something go forth and do it and really fucking push through i became a cashier this year i got two jobs this year i’m making a lil bit more this year and after a while and i get into cooking i’m gonna apply for microsoft’s catering and fucking finesse and finally succeed

i will also get my nursing and emt certification..

thakk you thank you so much for breaking the chain and making me become whole again..

i hate that love you but i also love thst i hate you..

it’s a drive..

anyways what else is coming forth.. ohhh my drumming is looking up.. and i’ll get that on point.. i need to return to piano and guitar but right now right fucking now my main focus is being on beat and actually having rhythm.. and groove which is the same i think lol fuck i forgot

i get a good return and with that i’m gonna buy good studio headphones an adapter to record music on my device and a new guitar.. eventually after a few checks i’ll get a condenser or dynamic microphone..

it’s wild it’s fucking thrilling that i’m prospering and striving..

or should i save up for an apt or car hmmm

i want a lexus 340?? i think an suv it looks sooo fucking nice i was helping someone to their car and i looked inside and i was like ohhhhh yup i want this..

but yeah either that or just keep saving..

oh yeah btw nice tweet 10:43

but do you..

anyways what else.. i wanted to tell you that i could give you whatever i need to specify when i’m buying clothes to get discounts but it’s like weird to reach to you.. i mean i tried to get a question through.. but just forget about it..

sinking sinking sinking

anyways..

im just gonna dive into my feeling right now and pass it through

..

it’s weird this like inner longing feeling i don’t want it anymore.. i just wanna slipfrom it.. and not in a negative way i just whsts the point.. what’s the point being gloomy what’s the point of trying of reaching of being denied of being pushed .. maybe it is karmic as i did this.. i’m not gonna sit here anymore.. i’m just gonna go on with my self.. and develop myself internally because i am not perfect and the way i communicate the way i act.. every mine i act facetious and it’s like to me the world could either be dull or strange and so in these serious moments of life i become spontaneous because my spirit wishes to just be like this.. so i treat matter inappropriately whether with humor or petty behavior.. sometimes i just be..

but it’s about time to get my head straight and grow older.. i mean two fucking jobs twoooooo tucking jobs in a cashier a produce handler and a clothes guy ohhh no it’s looking up though and if i run into a great degree of money i love to share i promise that but with great distance i wonder if even my honest purest being is even worth giving to you.. i’ve been denied.. i’ve been unwanted.. so i’ll let you bloom and i’ll be blossoming on mine..

we grew together now we sprout on different soil and it’s for the best yes it is.. it’s a sign

and yeah i still sit here dreaming but i just shake it off..

im only human and i long for the thing i so give badly

but other than this.. i’ve been happy with my development and my pursuit..

musics been helping me.. my diets better.. water hydration.. my skin is glowing.. my lips are soft.. i’m sculpting my image.. lol my abs are coming back..

and my psychology is building as it collapses

i feel wonderful and i am wonderful..

i keep reading that’s brushing up my intellect..

im flossing .. im waiting for my insurance for my dental braces

i pay my bills..

life is really coming clean to me..

and i’m shedding all the past whether it be the memories or the behavior itsfor the best

this moment is for the best..

and i wish you a good one.. on your end..

what else do i feel inside..

i feel tired.. oh im taking good pictures.. i wanna travel i wanna go to the zoooooo or aquarium.. and it feels good to be alone.. no more restraint.. lol if you read this don’t think of it like that no restraint as in no more anxiety from being an extrovert

it’s like a duality i’m an introvert but i like being out and extroverting?????? lol idk if that’s a word..

anyways i’m gonna go read..

like i said on my end i’ll be okay and i wonder about you your health your mindset your anxiety and id go on but

xo 1/29 10:59

[imtiredofthis1-blog]

ya wanna go mate

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THIS WAS A CHILDRENS MOVIE

A CHILDRENS BIBLE MOVIE

[imtiredofthis1-blog]

the president of the grammys really said women didn’t get the recognition they deserved because they need to “step up,” yet he said he can’t wait to see taylor swift next year……… boy bye

[imtiredofthis1-blog]

im breaking the shell i lay in.. it’s collapsing and it’s okay i shall be engulfed with ash.. of reminisce..

and to people i may not seem great with my words but it’s my feeling and i’m ...

nevermind

the life i lived was unhealthy.. i need to take root and branch again im withering and all my emotions are anger.. centered around petty life.. i’m not making it up to you.. it’s about time to fix and go..

yesteerday i felt comfortable as i wrote and spoke to my self about letting it all release.. maybe hats why i dream about slicing you.. and it was more of a protection because you came to me you were charging and the only thing i could do was chop you in half and the minute i did i woke up got on here and spilt then i looked up the meaning and it’s confirmation of finally concluding that i’m through..

xo 12:39 1/29

[imtiredofthis1-blog]

i did this because i wanted your attention i wanted closure and conclusion..

i sit here or work and still think of you, it’s difficult to stop .. anyways i’ve come forth to realize that we’re not a bummer but it’s okay i’ll move on and develop.. i mean were children we made mistakes things i can come forth and say.. but what’s the worth this is all stupid my blogging my insides my feelings im begging and o should just restrain and go forth with someone else down the line.. i just wish god gives me a friend someone who listens and understands and gives me conclusion..

what else.. it’s 2018 it’s a new year bout a month in, im doing music im channeling my stress in releasing im embracing my inner love

but i gotta go i wish you a good day to whoever reads this at whatever time..

xo 1/29 11:57

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bloop

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point being pointless is it worth this

[imtiredofthis1-blog]

1:29

out the blue up and sweaty heavy breathing

��To dream that you escape from injury from an animal, or from any situation, signifies your good health and prosperity. You will experience a favorable turn of events.

To dream that you ex has died indicates that your feelings for your ex are completely dead now. The dream is a metaphor of how you have let go of the past and are ready to move on and fully devote yourself to new relationships.”

i don’t need you but i do love you

xo 1:31 1/29

[imtiredofthis1-blog]

i had a dream that you were coming at me and i killed you .. it’s over