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we only see each other at funerals

We've developed quite a detailed backstory for the Black family, which would only inflate the main plot, but nothing's really keeping me from sharing it anyway.🤷🏻‍♀️ Beware, long post!

BACKSTORY: Orion’s side of the Black family has the noble title “Marquess”. They are intellectuals and collectors of different antique artifacts, Sirius II was collecting special gemstones and jewellery, Arcturus had a remarkable collection of antique weapons, while Orion had a less focused interest and collected a wide range of things, from paintings to furniture. When he started dating Walburga he had his amber phase, one of the first things he gifted to her as an attempt at courting her was a brooch made from amber with a spider trapped in it. When they got married, Walburga made him donate his amber collection to the Natural History Museum. Orion had visited the Museum with his sons to check on his old collection, which eventually sparked Sirius’ interest in fossils too. Orion then moved on to something else, Walburga hoped that Sirius would too, but he instead declared that he wanted to be a paleontologist. She worked so much on making Orion forget about his interest in “weird dead things”, that she, as a preemptive strike, sent Sirius off to a Catholic boarding school. Much to her relief, Regulus only got interested in antique objects. (He has built a career as an art appraiser and authenticator; and got a PhD in art heritage.) Walburga’s side of the Black family has the noble title “Earl” (given to Cygnus I), and they are more chaotic than the other branch. Pollux was a Colonel of the Royal Logistics Corps of the British Army, a controlling and charismatic man, who hadn't spent enough time with his children. Walburga, the firstborn became a Type A overachiever, forever trying to compensate for being “only” a woman (mostly using her sons for this). When Alphard came out as gay, Pollux taught him how to hunt and gave him a whole estate up north for hunting trips. Alphard, however, mostly used the estate for orgies. Cygnus, a very early bloomer, became a teen dad at 14. (Walburga, desperate, gave her sons The Talk very early on, which resulted in neither of them having any interest in women.) When Sirius proved to be talented at the military academy they sent him to, Pollux started to show interest in his grandson, and by proxy, his daughter. They started to use their connections to soothe out Sirius’ path, which annoyed him a lot. He managed to get into Royal Military Academy Sandhurst all on his own after he took his A levels, but most thought he was just a nepo baby. He chose Infantry as his corps and signed up for the Parachute Regiment. When Pollux heard about it, he got a heart attack and died, and Walburga got Sirius disowned from the family. Sirius only saw his family again at Alphard’s funeral years later. Since his graduation from Sandhurst, he had become a Lieutenant, participated in NATO missions and was eligible for UK Special Forces selection as he finished most of the tailored trainings. He also applied for a corps rotation to the Royal Engineers and was approached by Dumbledore to participate in a highly classified black ops mission. Regulus just finished his university degree. The family previously agreed with Alphard that he’d name Regulus as his heir in his will to keep the wealth within the family, as Sirius was disowned and had a very dangerous profession. Sirius only attended the funeral, because he genuinely liked his uncle and was in the country off-duty. However, Alphard had left everything, including his title to Sirius. Furious, Walburga blasted Alphard off the family tree tapestry. Sirius, again getting convinced that he wanted no part in this pointless drama, decided to accept Dumbledore’s offer instead. He didn’t renounce his inheritance though, thinking that if he dies without a will or an heir, it’ll go back to the state. Regulus, after their parents’ death, started to use Alphard’s hunting estate as a storage for the antique collections. They haven’t met or spoken with each other again (beside a very briefly worded card Regulus sent for Sirius congratulating him on the Order of Merlin) until Sirius unexpectedly waltzed in Grimmauld 12 to get the invitation for the fancy auction.

The illustrations above depict three generations of male members of the Black family: Regulus & Sirius, and Arcturus, Pollux, Orion, Alphard and Cygnus on the portraits. (They are at Alphard’s funeral, the brothers are around 23 & 25 years old.) I have a quite clear vision about their aesthetics, so while they all more or less have the “basic Black features" (tall, elegant, athletic build, dark and thick hair, beauty mark on face), I tried to give each family member their own design. There's a summary about their features behind the cut. The main idea is that Sirius takes after Walburga's side more, while Regulus is more like Orion's side. Also, just look at all the generational trauma this dysfunctional family has, and how only Sirius could somewhat break the cycle, so good👌🏻💯 I am endlessly fascinated by them!

Usual links & tags: my Bodyguard AU tag, part one masterpost, @goldenlionprince's AO3 collection, @neverenoughmarauders, @lovelymasks & @diamondmeadow!

Orion's side is marked with purple, Walburga's side with green, Sirius & Regulus are both so they got their own highlight color (blue).

great-grandparents generation:

Sirius II (“basic Black” features, prettier than average face) + Hesper Gamp (tall & skinny, very white skin and light blue eyes); Cygnus I (“basic Black” features, gray eyes) + Violetta Bulstrode (short, strong and muscular build, very thick hair, brown eyes)

grandparents generation:

Arcturus II (Tall & lean, thinner hair, blue eyes) + Melania McMillan (short and chubby, brown eyes); Pollux (average height, very strong and muscular build, hazel eyes) + Irma Crabble (taller than Pollux, skinny, blue eyes, lighter coloured hair)

parents geneneration:

Lucretia (taller than Orion, chubby, brown eyes) & Orion (average height, athletic in his youth, but prone to gaining weight as he gets older, blue eyes, handsome face); Walburga (“basic Black” features, gray eyes) & Alphard (average height, generally strong build but not as muscular, gained weight as he got older, a “Bear”, hazel eyes) & Cygnus II (“basic Black” features with lighter coloured hair, blue eyes) + Druella Rosier (blond & very curly hair, blue eyes, short)

kids generation:

Sirius III (tall and athletic, can gain muscle easily, gray eyes, handsome face) & Regulus (average height, skinny in his youth, can gain weight as he gets older, blue eyes); Bellatrix (“basic Black” features, pretty face, brown eyes) & Andromeda (short, brown hair, blue eyes, stronger build) & Narcissa (tall and skinny, blond hair, very light blue eyes)

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imagine the most meanspirited, unlikeable, rude, bitter, self centered, negative person you can think of. not a rapist, not a murderer, not an abuser. just a charmless, tactless, dyed in the wool asshole you wouldn't want to spend two seconds with. now assume they get sick, not with the flu, but with a long term, serious illness that limits their ability to provide for themself. a society in which that person is left to die alone because nobody likes them on a personal level is a failed society.

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prongsfoot doodle

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A touch gentler than any promise

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America has a weird relationship with cults where they’re terrified of small cults (or organizations they think are cults) but completely normalized massive cults that hurt many more people (eg: LDS Church, Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Amish, Scientology, most Megachurches)

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"Your love language is what you were deprived of as a child" actually no you're allowed to want, prefer and like things without everything tracing back to some dormant unprocessed trauma. You can just say you want to bounce on it without having to explain how as a child you always wanted - but never got - a trampoline.

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Amanda Seyfried as Sophie Sheridan – Mamma Mia (2008)

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ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

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donald trump will die on july 20th 2025 at 1pm pacific standard time

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Today I was trying to chat up this girl standing with her friend at a lesbian bar and said “oh are you two together?” meaning were you friends before being next to each other at this bar and one turns to the other and goes with all the venom of a black mamba snake “I don’t know Cara, are we?” and I was like you know what? not my table

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to me, this is the blumbridge/kittywater dynamic. (@mrstellmeafuckingsecret i blame you & your fantastic shit posts about them)

(also i fear it needs to be said that i'm NOT engaging in this ship to spite jegulus or regulus fans omg i just think dolores x regulus is hilarious and, considering canon, pretty fitting)

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My Finland AU is a really problematic romantization of the cottage life. Doesn’t even mention the army of mosqitoes and ticks who are thirsty for your blood.

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OP's pronouns are she/they.

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hilarious how when james (a child) rescued snape from remus during the prank, snape stans write it off and say “he just wanted glory!” or “he just wanted to impress lily!” when first of all, nobody (including lily) knew this would happen until after the fact and because of remus’ dangerous situation, nobody ever would if james could help it.

and then the very same people act like snape (grown ass adult by the way) was some holy saint for rescuing harry. like first of all, it’s his responsibility as a professor to protect his students and second of all, his reason for protecting harry was extremely selfish, in harry, he saw his teenage crush that he was obsessed with and he clearly didn’t actually care for the kid.

like just admit that james did something kind. it’s not that hard. snape stans love preaching about how marauders stans suck at characterization but honestly you guys are worse because you can’t seem to write any characters without making them perfect angels who do no wrong or horrific bullies who are pure evil and nothing else.