an archive of incorrect quotes for the characters of my self indulge vampire novel I want to write
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Abigail: What counts as an orgy?
Mason, without hesitation: More than five.
Abigail, confused: Five or more, or more than five??
Mason: I'm gonna say five or more.
Abigail: What's four then??
Mason: Just a good time
#Abigail Lewis#Mason Graham#Ship: Fashion Besties#source: dirty laundry#(bc i actually know the source on this one lmaaoo)
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Corelia: What kinds of sounds annoy you?
Athanasia : Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?
Corelia, now interested: Lets say imaginary.
Athanasia: Spiders wearing heels.
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Corelia: What's your body count?
Finn: Do you mean sex or murder?
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Abigail: I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon.
Blair: That’s true, but it also smells like fire and panic.
Abigail: You and the smoke detector need to get off my case.
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Mason: Who do we know has handcuffs?
Arwyn: Well, Beau and I --
Beauregard: [Elbows Arwyn]
Arwyn: -- Wouldn't know.
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Abigail: Where did you get that tomato soup?
Beauregard: It’s actually a bowl of blood I just microwaved.
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Arwyn: It doesn’t have a bone.
Blair: Then why is it called a boner?
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Beauregard: Aren’t you going to say “have a nice night?”
Finn: I don’t care if you have a pulse, much less a nice night.
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Arwyn, proudly: I slept.
Blair: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?
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"The best person I know is myself."
- Athanasia
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I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."
- Mason
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Mason: Team A will consist of myself, Beauregard, Arwyn, and Blair.
Mason: Team B will consist of Athanasia.
#Mason Graham#quote#Ship: Multi#Ship: Mother Dearest#kind of#about: Beauregard#about: arwyn#about: blair#about: Athanasia
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Abigail: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Blair: Wow. They sound stupid.
Abigail: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
Blair: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
Abigail: I guess you’re right. Hey Blair, I love you.
Blair: See! Just say that!
Abigail: Holy fucking shit.
Blair: If that flies over their head then, sorry Gail, but they're too dumb for you.
Abigail: BLAIR.
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Arwyn: Blair, say aluminum again. It's the entire source of my serotonin during these trying times.
Blair, sighing: Only for you, buddy. Ah-loo-minn-eeum.
#fun fact: despite being welsh‚ Arwyn was raised in New York and has an American accent#and so he will go to Blair and go ''ok you funky scot-- say something funny!''#Arwyn Moore#Blair Cameron#Ship: Oh Captain My Captain#quote
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Beauregard: Priest kink is definitely a thing and I am afflicted by it.
Arwyn: Go to church.
Arwyn: WAIT—
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Abigail: How would you guys deal with a toxic friend?
Mason: Tell them how you really feel.
Beauregard: Slowly distance yourself from them.
Arwyn: Engage in a 1v1 sword battle and if they lose they have to stop being toxic or pay the price.
Abigail, being handed a sword: …well heck.
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Look, do I consider myself attractive? Yes. But would I have sex with my clone? Also yes.
- Mason
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