incorrect-frostironstrange

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Bartender, about Tony and Loki: Excuse me sir, are these men bothering you?

Stephen: Yes. Yes, they are. But they're my husbands, so I pretty much signed up for this.

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Tony, gesturing toward Stephen's lap: May I sit here?

Loki: That's my boyfriend's lap.

Tony: That doesn't answer my question.

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Loki: *sighs*

Tony: You bored?

Loki: *nods*

Tony: Wanna start drama for no reason?

Loki: Oh, absolutely.

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Steve: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Stephen: I've been astral projecting for the past two and a half hours.

Tony: I got distracted about halfway through.

Loki: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Tony: *after being knocked out* What happened? Did I die? *sees Stephen next to him* Is this heaven?

Loki: *walks in*

Tony: Oh my god! It's definitely heaven.

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Tony and Loki: *sitting in jail together*

Loki: So who should we call?

Tony: I'd say Stephen, but I feel safer in jail.

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

*Stephen playing with Loki's hair*

Loki: Stop it, Stephen. You're ruining my reputation.

Stephen: Then get off my lap.

Loki: No.

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Stephen, giving relationship advice: I always bring Loki flowers. You should try it too.

Tony: Okay…?

[later]

Tony, handing a bouquet of flowers to Loki: Here.

Loki: Why are you…

Tony: I don’t get it either.

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Tony: And I know that, if Stephen was here, he'd agree with me.

Stephen, astral projecting: No, I don't.

Tony: Shh.

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Loki: Okay, so my plan is simple: I seduce the Sorcerer, break these two idiots' couple and spread chaos among the Avengers in order to destroy them.

[15 years later]

Loki, married to Tony and Stephen, living happily with them and all their children: what-

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

[At an Avengers meeting]

Steve: Stephen, are you with us?

Stephen: Physically, yes. Mentally? I’m in a Renaissance painting wearing a silk dress and looking wistfully into the distance.

Tony: Is that a yes or are you trying to freak me out?

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Tony: Listen, Bambi-

Loki: You can just call me Loki.

Tony: I'd really rather not. If I name you, I might get attached.

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Tony: Have you ever been scolded by Stephen before?

Clint: I'm not afraid of him.

Loki: So that's a no.

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Tony: THIS NIGHT YOU WILL BOTH SLEEP ON THE COUCH

Tony: On two DIFFERENT couchs

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Steve: Why are Tony, Loki and Stephen sitting like that?

Natasha: They had a fight.

Steve: Then why are they holding hands?

Natasha: Loki gets sad when they fight.

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Tony: Why the fuck are you in my bed?

Loki: ... I was cold.

Tony:

Tony: Loki, you're a fucking Frost Giant?!

[incorrect-frostironstrange]

Tony: Lokiiiii, my dear beloved~ Would you-

Loki, without even raising his eyes from his book: It's out of the question.

Tony: Oh.. Well ok. Guess I'll ask Stephen then...

Loki: WAIT NO! I'LL DO IT.