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Group message, 2:25 am.

Kenji: do u think birds ever think about the fact that they’re the only animals that can fly

Eva: how would they know that

Kenji: know what

Eva: that they’re the only animals that can fly

Kenji: are u dumb it’s not like they see other animals up there

Eva: planes

Kenji: PLANES AREN’T ANIMALS

Eva: how would the birds know that

Kenji: .

Eva: exactly

MC: if you guys don’t SHUT UP

Dax: butterflies can fly

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MC: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you get here so fast?

Kenji: Several traffic violations.

Eva: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Dax: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Poppy: Also, that’s not our car.

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Poppy: Why are your tongues purple?

MC: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Eva: I had a red one.

Poppy: oh.

Poppy:

Poppy: OH.

Dax:

Dax: You drank each others slushies?

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Eva: We need to get through this locked door. Kenji, give me your credit card.

Kenji: Here.

Eva: [pocketing it] Thanks.

MC, kick down the door.

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Poppy: I actually have a black belt.

Kenji: In what, karate?

Poppy: No, from Gucci.

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Poppy: On a scale of “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

MC: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Dax?

Dax: Probably “road work ahead”.

Grayson: I speak many languages but this is none of them.

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Eva: Look, I may not be a saint, but it’s not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

MC: Okay, that’s really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

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MC: You know, I’m starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Kenji: [drinking toast] Why do you say that?

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Caleb: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

MC: >:O language

Dax: Yeah watch your fucking language

Poppy: OKAY WHO TAUGHT DAX THE FUCK WORD?

Eva: “the fuck word”

Grayson: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Kenji: Oh my god he censored it

Eva: Say fuck, Grayson

Kenji: Do it Grayson. Say fuck.

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Poppy: Three Months!

Dax: What’s going on?

MC: It’s not a big deal.

Poppy: You watched me water a fake plant for three months!

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Poppy: Us kissing. What was I thinking. Could you imagine that?

Dax: Yeah. [chuckles nervously] I definitely wouldn’t want to kiss you.

Poppy: Oh, well I didn’t realize it was such a horrible option.Sorry I suggested it!

Dax: No. No. I mean if it was a choice between kissing you and dying…

Poppy: Ugh!

Dax: What! I’m saying I’d rather kiss you than die. That’s a compliment!

Poppy: Well, I’m not sure which I would rather do! [storms out]

Dax: What is wrong with me?

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Grayson: Kenji, I think you should play the role of my father.

Kenji: I don’t want to be your father.

Grayson: That’s perfect. You already know your lines.

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MC: Nothing in life is free.

Poppy: Love is free!

Kenji: Adventure is free.

Dax: Knowledge is free.

Eva: Everything is free if you take it without paying.