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Mantis: you are not alone if there are trees

Liquid: I can't tell if that's supposed to be a piece of encouragement or an ominous warning

Mantis: that's entirely up to the trees

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Ocelot: wait! Don't touch anything!!

Miller, panicking: why?!

Ocelot: oh, no particular reason, it's just, its all mine

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Eli: yeah, you could tell snake it was I who burned down the arts and crafts room

Eli, pulling out a lego set: ooooor... you could keep this

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Snake: how can I make my crush ask me out...?

Fox: well, you know how people say "be yourself", well, don't do that

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Snake, talking to Miller: so , we found this skull, with a full set of teeth, and you know what this dumbass said?

Snake, imitating fox's voice: "is a that a bird skull?"

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Snake, after getting shot: ow

Otacon: Are you hurt?

Snake: No I'm just humming a little song called 'ouch'

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Kaz, talking about his daughter: I don't understand babies

Kaz: others are all like "jfjiahfhskcidhjrjsjfhhghggehriksj" and then one day is like "hfjdjfkfjjejdjff Father" and its all downhill from there

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Ocelot, looking at Huey: I want to stir his brain like a latte

Kaz: literally or figuratively? Because if there is gonna be a lobotomy I want to see him after that

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DD's educational platform

Eli, sat on the back of the class:

Soldier: ok, what starts with an A?

Eli: arson

Soldier: ... ok... what starts with a B?

Eli: barson

Soldier: and c...?

Eli: commit arson

Soldier: at least is a real word with C... and D?

Eli: dont come near me, I'm going to commit arson

Soldier: why are you even here...? This was supposed to be for the other kids...

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Big Boss: So that’s the plan, any questions?

Ocelot: Why doesn’t Kaz have a code name?

Kaz: psht! I don’t need a code name. Code names are for dweebs.

Kaz: Not you, Boss. Your name is manly and cool.

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Even more things Eli is not allowed to do in mother base

Eli is not allowed near the water supply of the base

Eli is not allowed to urinate in the water supply of the base

Eli is not the water supply of the base

He is not part of the water maintenance staff

Under no circumstances is Eli permitted to double wield any meat products

He has no official titles, and he is not known as "the trash master"

He is not allowed to try to teach DD how to play black jack any card game (ocelot already lost most of his salary betting against DD, we are not letting him do that again)

Due to recent circumstances Eli is not allowed to teach any type of boardgame to DD

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More examples of why V is not allowed anywhere near the kitchen and/or the kitchen staff

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Sunny: Snake, uncle Hal is not making any sense

Snake: let me see

Snake, peaks his head around the corner:

Otacon: H I W E L C O M E T O C H I L I S

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--motherbase burning--

Msf soldier: huey! The base is on fire!

Huey: let it burn

Msf soldier: what?

Huey, escaping with Cipher: LET IT BUUUUUURN

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Otacon: hey, are you ok?

Snake: yeah, it's just that lately I haven't been able to think straight

Snake, in his brain: (balls, two dudes holding hands, dicks, guy's butt)

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PW Kaz trying to flirt with a soldier: so~ I'm a guy

Soldier: yeah

Kaz: and you are a girl

Soldier, smiling: yeah

Kaz: soooooo... I'm superior

Soldier: jesus christ you dumbass

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BB: I'm so thirsty right now

Kaz: I got water! And a dick

BB: ...

Kaz: I didn't know what kind of thirsty you were, but I have both